“You should see me driving when I want to go to the lavatory. If I need a pee, I’ll do 140mph, park in a disabled space, rush in and knock some old ladies over.”
“What’s wrong with global warming? We might lose Holland but there are other places to go on holiday.”
“A cow does more global warming than a Range Rover!”
The rest here:- tinyurl.com/yduj268 (again, keep those mouse cursors away from the scantily clad girls links if you're at work)
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I liked the one about the mouse called Gerald.
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you read such quality papers dave
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RF, it was either that or The Daily Sport.
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quote==“An acutely embarrassing car. Rover, the name, is a dog”===unquote
>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>thats mar buoy :-)
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Clarkson has become a national treasure, and curiously serves the purposes both of those who love him and equally those who love to hate him. If he didn't exist it would be necessary to invent him.
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Clarkson reminds me simultaneously of what I miss most about England - and why I don't think I can never go back.
At least I have the books...
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I don't think anything can beat "This car would snap knicker elastic at 50 paces."
Last edited by: Chris S on Wed 14 Apr 10 at 16:40
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Clarkson's comment on the Ford Streetka:
"Ford says that 80% of Streetka buyers will be women. But I’m struggling to think what the remaining 20% might be. Not men, that’s for sure."
Brilliant.
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“This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying, ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases’.”
That one had me in tears, despite being the owner of a Renault people carrier at the time.
Clarkson is a genius.
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Nobody's mentioned the one about the 'one-eyed Scottish idiot' yet.
Last edited by: Chris S on Thu 15 Apr 10 at 12:06
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Or how about Peroudas being made in a jungle by people wearing shorts made out of leaves?
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Or Hyundia designers eating spaniels for their lunch?
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Or prostitute-murdering truck drivers
Last edited by: BiggerBadderDave on Thu 15 Apr 10 at 16:56
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I seem to remember he once stated that all Renaults were built by disinterested Algerians in factories with mud floors.
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I was a bit disappointed by that particular quip - not because I found it in bad taste, but because the murderer in question was a FORKLIFT truck driver - a somewhat different profession!
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Thanks for making that comment Typ.
Pat
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“Anyone who washes their car has a small mind, or is in an unhappy marriage.”
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>> “Anyone who washes their car has a small mind or is in an unhappy marriage.”
I have a problem, then - as do most of my neighbours.
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>> >> “Anyone who washes their car has a small mind or is in an unhappy
>> marriage.”
>>
>> I have a problem then - as do most of my neighbours.
CS - no, you have a problem if you take JC seriously :)
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>>CS - no, you have a problem if you take JC seriously :)
Valid point, Focus.
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>> Valid point Focus.
Speaking as a fellow car washer, I hope so :)
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Clarkson does not call old ladies bigots though :-)
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I washed the car on Monday. While cleaning the wheels I
I ... I............I < sigh - this so hard to admit >>>>
I scrubbed the tyres.....
THERE
I said it.
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>>I ... I............I < sigh - this so hard to admit >>>>
I scrubbed the tyres.....
Clearly beyond redemption.
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>>> I scrubbed the tyres.....
>>
>>
>> THERE
>>
>>
>> I said it.
Try not to worry about it.
This is what old people in Surrey wearing beige cardigans do.
Do you have cheap lunches down at the day centre?
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>>Do you have cheap lunches down at the day centre?
If you do, make the most of them. They won't be so cheap for much longer.
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