I'm trying to translate an internal promotional film from Geordie into English for a Polish Film company.
Not only is this guy utterly incomprehensible but he speaks in cliches and marketing speak.
What does he mean by - "We had a yellow brick road for the sales side so we thought we'd have one for the service side. Ticking boxes and taking out bricks."
Any thoughts?
Other than I'd like to batter this guy with a yellow brick.
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I've just Googled some of that, and one of the results spoke of "facilitating end-to-end reconciliation for Corporates".
Hth :)
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Ticking boxes and taking out bricks....... what a load of BS.
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Surely you could put whatever you want, as nobody would be able to disprove it.
Having lived on Tyneside for many years, I've never heard anyone speak like that, though.
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= We have clear procedures set down in our in Sales Dept and we are going to provide the same sort of step by step instructions to our Service Dept so that untrained monkeys can perform the job.
Just follow the Yellow Brick Road. (Glinda to Dorothy in Wizard of Oz)
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Spent too long listening to that sort of stuff!
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Don't get too much of this sort of thing at the low-ish level I work at in the company, but we're starting to use the Agile software development process. Task duration isn't measured in days, it's measured in 'story points'.
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Sheeesh! (As Mr Jinks used to say).
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Whilst whistling a Dixie tune?
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'Why don't we just vomit this copiously onto the verandah floor and see if the cat licks it up?'
That's what they used to say. Something like that anyway.
I couldn't help worrying about whether a cat with tastes like that was a fitting guru for those awful, boring, overpaid, pretentious, bullying, whisky-swilling, Zodiac-driving, Surrey-dwelling s h i t e hawks, and whether its implicit advice wouldn't perhaps do more harm than good.
None of it mattered of course. But when you're being paid, you worry. It's an aspect of the human condition.
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>> 'Why don't we just vomit this copiously onto the verandah floor and see if the
>> cat licks it up?'
>>
>> That's what they used to say. Something like that anyway.
>>
>> I couldn't help worrying about whether a cat with tastes like that was a fitting
>> guru for those awful, boring, overpaid, pretentious, bullying, whisky-swilling, Zodiac-driving, Surrey-dwelling s h i t
>> e hawks, and whether its implicit advice wouldn't perhaps do more harm than good.
>>
>> None of it mattered of course. But when you're being paid, you worry. It's an
>> aspect of the human condition.
>>
Now that.......................I understand..............I think!
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>> I think!
Sorry MD. In the sixties, I worked in market research. It was quite interesting in a way, but an essentially empty and pointless effort. If you were good at it and could stand it, you could make a living or even some money. But any interest in truth or real information was wasted on the waters. The data went to people (see above) who were only interested in peripheral, usually trivial aspects which they used with startling incompetence to brief admen and designers much like themselves, with variable results.
Every now and then they got away with something purely by accident. Then they would screw it up.
It was awful. I had to stop doing it even though my analyst reminded me that it was paying for the analysis. I've been poor ever since.
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Quote CJ:
" I didn't get where I am today selling ice creams tasting of bookends, pumice stone, and West Germany...."
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If you get stuck this will probably help!
tinyurl.com/1wvi
J
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I saw a van with "Delivering transport solutions" on the side. What does that mean? Do they run a bus company? A train company? Is it a courier that specialises in transporting bikes to shops and/or customers? We are largely free of BS although some of the Agile stuff we are introducing is pure BS.
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Ah, "deliver". Pure BS.
When I was a teacher, we had to "deliver" the curriculum (= teach). Always reminded me of milkmen, or midwives.
As for "solutions" - well, there are no "problems", are there? - only solutions.
"Delivering transport solutions" = "we can solve your transport problems" (whatever they are - it's still pretty meaningless).
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Marketing Speak - Dave_
