Non-motoring > How Do You Measure Up?	Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Robin O'Reliant	Replies: 47

Tue 3 Mar 15 10:36   How Do You Measure Up? - Robin O'Reliant

Posted with a smug grin ;-) www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/11444668/Study-on-penises-reveals-the-average-size-...-and-its-smaller-than-you-think.html Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 11:39   How Do You Measure Up? - Bromptonaut

{tic}By the time I'd found a tape measure..... :-( {/tic} Reply to this message | Report message       1

Tue 3 Mar 15 13:18   How Do You Measure Up? - Roger.

May I borrow a micrometer, please? It seems that ears may grow bigger as one ages, but certain other appendages may decrease. ;=) Last edited by: Roger. on Tue 3 Mar 15 at 13:20 Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 14:09   How Do You Measure Up? - Ambo

I would welcome some guidance on measuring the length when there are no definite points at each end. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 14:55   How Do You Measure Up? - Armel Coussine

It isn't the work of an amateur To measure the lengthwise parameter For weather too chilly Will shorten the willy And greatly reduce its diameter. Reply to this message | Report message       5

Tue 3 Mar 15 14:58   How Do You Measure Up? - commerdriver

AC that is your best post in ages, certainly the funniest Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 15:16   How Do You Measure Up? - WillDeBeest

Strange. I'd supposed that 15cm was already a tactful understatement to spare the feelings of the smaller gentleman. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 15:35   How Do You Measure Up? - crocks

It isn't a job for a pro To see how long it will go. Just do it at home When you are alone And then only you will know. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Tue 3 Mar 15 17:38   How Do You Measure Up? - smokie

So AC's is shrivelled by cold And Roger's has shrunk cos he's old How long will we wait For someone to state To be average it needs a quick fold Last edited by: smokie on Tue 3 Mar 15 at 17:40 Reply to this message | Report message       2

Tue 3 Mar 15 18:05   How Do You Measure Up? - Roger.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was terribly bent To save himself trouble he put it in double So instead of coming - he went! Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 19:38   How Do You Measure Up? - bathtub tom

>> It seems that ears may grow bigger as one ages, but certain other appendages may >> decrease. ;=) I always had size 11 feet in adulthood until I reached my 60s. I now need 12s in a wide fitting! Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 20:05   How Do You Measure Up? - Armel Coussine

>> I always had size 11 feet in adulthood until I reached my 60s. I now need 12s in a wide fitting! 'Flat foot Floogie with the floy floy...' Do you sometimes catch yourself waddling like a duck these days bt? I have a ghastly feeling I do, although I do my best not to notice. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 3 Mar 15 20:27   How Do You Measure Up? - Lygonos

My uncle Billy had a 10 foot willy He showed it to the lady next door. She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And now it's only 2 foot 4. Reply to this message | Report message       3

Wed 4 Mar 15 10:06   How Do You Measure Up? - Ambo

Some covert erectile dysfunction going on? Maybe something here would help (I've heard of bells on their toes but this is ridiculous): tinyurl.com/oj5yjxz link to a pdf file on www.kinseyinstitute.org considerably shortened. Last edited by: VxFan on Thu 5 Mar 15 at 01:47 Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 10:30   How Do You Measure Up? - Manatee

Some think that girth is a measure of worth Others that length is what moves the earth But a true Yorkshire lass Will weigh up the brass Of which there must not be a dearth. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:00   How Do You Measure Up? - Pat

I feel really left out of this thread:( Pat Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:08   How Do You Measure Up? - Runfer D'Hills

It is of course why Scots favour kilts, so much more accommodating for their averagely larger than the equivalent English appendages... ;-)) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:09   How Do You Measure Up? - commerdriver

with these cold winds up there? Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:16   How Do You Measure Up? - Runfer D'Hills

Even allowing for that CD ! It can though be an issue with resonant frequencies, a bit like Palm trees in hurricanes... ;-) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:48   How Do You Measure Up? - Manatee

>> Even allowing for that CD ! >> >> It can though be an issue with resonant frequencies, a bit like Palm trees in >> hurricanes... >> >> ;-) In the matter of kilts and the free blowing willy Runfer should desist from so painting the lily A few have to bind it But others can’t find it According to whether it’s windy or chilly. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 21:41   How Do You Measure Up? - swiss tony

>> It is of course why Scots favour kilts, so much more accommodating for their averagely >> larger than the equivalent English appendages... >> I must say, the Scottish chap I work with is a large cock. I have no idea the size of his appendage though.... Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:08   How Do You Measure Up? - commerdriver

Come on Pat, as a trucker, albeit of the female persuasion, you must know hundreds of ditties like the above :-) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:47   How Do You Measure Up? - Pat

I do, but not of them suitable to put on here;) Pat Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:10   How Do You Measure Up? - BiggerBadderDave

Meet up with me and you can tell everyone how I measured up. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 11:54   How Do You Measure Up? - R.P.

How can she resist with a chat up line like that.....and you're probably articulated as well ! Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 13:07   How Do You Measure Up? - VxFan

It might not be very big, but I have a lot to push it in with. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 4 Mar 15 16:16   How Do You Measure Up? - Ted

Mine's twelve inches....but I don't use as a rule. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 4 Mar 15 16:55   How Do You Measure Up? - Manatee

Boom boom! Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 21:06   How Do You Measure Up? - Manatee

Verse 3: BBD hints he’s well bless’d Eclipsing the best of the rest Let’s hope his pride Is all bona fide Not something he should have suppressed. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 4 Mar 15 21:21   How Do You Measure Up? - Zero

Bad Dave claims he has a big tool The rest of us think he's a fool So he gets out his willy And Pat said that's Silly I've seen bigger tadpoles in my pool. Reply to this message | Report message       3

Wed 4 Mar 15 21:46   How Do You Measure Up? - CGNorwich

Poor last line - doesn't scan :-) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 22:25   How Do You Measure Up? - BiggerBadderDave

I'm too tired to get creative, I'm going to bed with a notebook and pencil. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 4 Mar 15 22:27   How Do You Measure Up? - Runfer D'Hills

Don't forget the ruler. Oh, and the rubber... Last edited by: Runfer D'Hills on Wed 4 Mar 15 at 22:29 Reply to this message | Report message       2

Thu 5 Mar 15 00:20   How Do You Measure Up? - Armel Coussine

>> line - doesn't scan :-) I didn't want to mention it, but there are a few of those among the original efforts (and one deplorably misquoted chestnut, Ted). Rhymes are usually easy. The difficult thing is to make any poetic form, even one as humble as the limerick, scan without becoming ungrammatical or losing sense. This site is a bit of a literary seminar among other things. Don't knock it, it's good. Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Thu 5 Mar 15 at 00:23 Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 5 Mar 15 09:15   How Do You Measure Up? - tyrednemotional

There was a young man from Japan, Whose poetry just wouldn't scan, When asked why it was, He said "It's because.. ..I try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can" ;-) Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 5 Mar 15 12:46   How Do You Measure Up? - Zero

>> There was a young man from Japan, >> Whose poetry just wouldn't scan, >> When asked why it was, >> He said "It's because.. >> ..I try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can" You are lucky, it nearly ended up as Bad Dave claims he has a big tool The rest of us think he's a fool So he gets out his willy And Pat said that's Silly Only truckers have big willies so stop boasting you lot. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Thu 5 Mar 15 15:40   How Do You Measure Up? - Pat

I can vouch for truckers willies! Having to share the same showers and toilets for the first half of my career as a lorry driver I've seen a few. I always think of them as the seven dwarfs.....Perky, Droopy, Saggy, Wobbly, Spotty, Wonky and of course Floppy. Pat Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 5 Mar 15 15:51   How Do You Measure Up? - Armel Coussine

>> I always think of them as the seven dwarfs A dwarf both misshapen and strong Seemed awkward when moving along; You've seen nothing so neat As his sweet little feet, But he needed a sling for his schlong. Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 5 Mar 15 08:25   How Do You Measure Up? - Zero

>> Poor last line - doesn't scan :-) Hey its not bad actually, its all in the telling and cadence. there should be a pause in it as in Ive seen bigger tad - poles in my pool even got the polish reference in. i think its one of the better efforts. Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 5 Mar 15 09:44   How Do You Measure Up? - movilogo

Never guessed that we had so many poets in the forum :o) Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 5 Mar 15 10:08   How Do You Measure Up? - WillDeBeest

It could be There's bigger (tad)Poles in my pool. Anyway The researchers are causing a fuss, Finding willies more minus than plus. I looked down and found Mine was touching the ground, And the man made me get off the bus. Reply to this message | Report message       2

Thu 5 Mar 15 10:24   How Do You Measure Up? - neiltoo

Perhaps - I've seen bigger newts in my pool. 8o) Reply to this message | Report message

Fri 6 Mar 15 00:02   How Do You Measure Up? - Dutchie

What did they say 5 inches thick? I've heard that does matter. Reply to this message | Report message

Fri 6 Mar 15 10:17   How Do You Measure Up? - Robin O'Reliant

>> What did they say 5 inches thick? I've heard that does matter. >> That would be a scream. Last edited by: Robin O'Reliant on Fri 6 Mar 15 at 10:18 Reply to this message | Report message

Fri 6 Mar 15 10:36   How Do You Measure Up? - Manatee

>> >> What did they say 5 inches thick? I've heard that does matter. >> >> >> >> That would be a scream. Divide by pi! Reply to this message | Report message

Fri 6 Mar 15 11:49   How Do You Measure Up? - Ted

I didn't think size mattered....until all my wallpaper fell off ! Reply to this message | Report message       1

Fri 6 Mar 15 14:54   How Do You Measure Up? - Roger.

Wallpaper? How 1970s :-) Reply to this message | Report message

Fri 6 Mar 15 15:11   How Do You Measure Up? - commerdriver

>> Wallpaper? How 1970s :-) >> Woodchip, I presume? Reply to this message | Report message