I went to a funeral today, the widow of a couple I had known for 40 years, he died 10 years ago. The family had changed the usual scheme and what they arranged was less stressful and much more pleasant. They had a private memorial service and cremation a few days ago and then today we had a normal funeral service with the ashes of the deceased in a small wooden box, on a small table by the lectern. They they were carried out into the cemetery, some prayers were said and the box lowered into a small pre-dug grave, some earth and rose petals scattered onto it, and that was it.
I have never been too keen on the coffin rolling through curtains into the furnace and that aspect of the way they are normally done and this was much more like a civilised farewell without the angst.
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The boss says I can put her in the grey wheelie bin, and she means it.
It won't happen, she's as tough as old boots and bound to see me out.
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When I go, I want a the hearse to break the speed limit. It doesn't have to be by much. I really do not want a mimser fest.
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Well it comes to us all, sounds like both had a fair innings and thats all we can ask.
Sounds a nice service Melders, there are no set rules one must follow within reason, its very important that those close ones who cared feel that things have been done right.
Funeral director is a more important choice than many realise if things are to handled well, something people should investigate before circumstances deem it urgent, its not morbid its good sense.
One other thing, i made sure that i took my 18 year old son to the family funeral director with me when my mothers funeral was arranged, when his turn comes to make arrangements he wont be all at sea.
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Yeah, thats the way to go, burial at sea.
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>>Yeah, thats the way to go, burial at sea.<<
Until you are all washed up.
Those wicker coffins do creak a bit, don't they? Or were my friends a bit on the heavy side?
Coffins for cremations have been MDF and plastic for years. Quite right too.
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My gran was buried in a wicker coffin in a woodland graveyard in Edinburgh (council run affair) - although she was a believer spiritually she didn't agree with religion (grandad was an atheist and he thoroughly despised all religions...).
No churchy guff - my uncle/her son said a wee speech and we had a get together afterwards.
Now 3 years or so later there's a growing birch tree over her grave which will in the fullness of time be a pleasant little woodland - no headstones.
I believe my auntie pops past and pours a can of Guiness over the spot every so often for grandad whose ashes went in the box for gran.
All very convivial.
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I quite fancy the wicker coffin idea too, in fact I was looking at a selection only recently on some internet site.
I believe the wood coffins are just MDF with a bit of veneer or something to make it look like wood.
I also believe that the gold (coloured) handles are in fact plastic.
I also believe in UFO's, crop circles, and that a reptilian bloodline rules the world.
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Went to one many years ago for a guy who had left explicit instructions for no religious content.
We arrived to Bach's air on a g string (the song from the hamlet commercials) and left to Frank Sinatra's I did it my way
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My friend big Terry (now dead Terry) had a natural burial using a wicker coffin in a private cemetery.
Simple ceremony, no religions, friends as bearers, and plenty of booze which is just how he would have liked it.
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An uncle of mine was a larger gent, so needed a bigger than standard coffin. His last journey was in his own immaculately clean horsebox, behind his own 4x4. Country music played throughout the church, followed by a simple burial in the cemetry.
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>> I have never been too keen on the coffin rolling through curtains into the furnace
>> and that aspect of the way they are normally done and this was much more
>> like a civilised farewell without the angst.
>>
The right music helps a lot. I recently said farewell to a good friend who died quite suddenly in her mid-60's; a staunch Tory county councillor and passionate Nottingham Forest fan who was both loved and respected by all who knew her. Most of the music was simple and straightforward, but I couldn't help but smile as the curtain went round to a softly-played version of "The Dambusters March"; I reflected on the thought that Brian Clough had better brace himself for some serious earache when Nora got up there!
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Me ole mam had a humanist ' preacher ' when she was cremated at Dunham Lawn. I told the undertaker that I saw no relevance in the ashes and to scatter then somewhere in the gardens.
MiL was cremated in the same place but SWM wanted a little ceremony with just the two of us and her grown up grand kids. It took a bit of organising but some months later we all got together round a neat square hole in the lawn behind a kerbstone we had commissioned for her and her late hubby. A man from the cemetery, formally dressed, gave a little reading and tipped her ashes into the hole to be refilled when we had gone. We put some fresh flowers in her pot and retired to the pub for lunch.
I have recently amended my funeral music........rather pretentiously, I wanted Mahler's ' Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen ' Now, I think this may be more suitable.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6OHD2uCpfU
It mentions my home station, Chorlton-cum-Hardy, and many more places I'm familiar with.
Ted
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Nice one Teddy boy, I likes that ... being I'm into Floyd and Sabbath, this is what I chose for my FiL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5ot-88UV-Y
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The ashes of my Mother, my late wife and one of my sons are scattered round a rock, near the top of a hill in North Wales, with a lovely view over Cardigan Bay, towards Criccieth. My sister and I will have our ashes scattered there too, we hope. I think it gives some feeling of connection, on Earth, with those who are gone, and whom we feel we shall meet or see again somewhere else, depending on what one believes. I certainly used to drive quite a long way, to be there on a nice day and have a picnic and think about them and lives together. Some people seem to need a focus for their thoughts of those have been loved and then gone.
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I hope you have filled out the environmental impact form, and you have a waste operators license?
Last edited by: Zero on Tue 9 Jul 13 at 08:22
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Here are a few more suggestions......
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF6IShnqPY0
Me - I want my ashes scattered at a particular wild and lonely spot in North Northumberland......
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>>Here are a few more suggestions......
Goodness gracious me - that's quite funny but, in very poor, um, taste.
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>> Here are a few more suggestions......
>>
>> www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF6IShnqPY0
>>
>> Me - I want my ashes scattered at a particular wild and lonely spot in
>> North Northumberland......
A return to the coal mining slag heap days?
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Nope Zeddo........ Nowt to do wit ' pit lad......
Its where SWMBO and I first ...........work it out for yourself!
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The mother out law died on 29 June - Grand Prix Day. Her gift for awkward timing with her to the end as she was in a care home in Silverstone.
She wouldn't have wanted a Priest at tomorrow's funeral so Mrs B, her brother and the two grandkids are doing it. Anecdotes and recollections, some music she liked and back to ours for a wake.
Ashes to go with her Husband's on the Roaches.
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>> I hope you have filled out the environmental impact form, and you have a waste
>> operators license?
And think how other's might perceive your actions.
My Father spent much of his later life walking in Upper Wharfedale and wanted his ashes scattered in the Washburn valley which we duly did in summer 1997.
The Washburn is dammed in three places as a gathering ground for Yorkshire Water.
We've wondered since whether tippping stuff from a jerry can into a stream ultimately bound for Leeds's taps might have looked suspicious.
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As W C Fields once observed " I never drink tap water - fish fornicate in it" A few chemical elements in powder form aren't going make it worse
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>> As W C Fields once observed " I never drink tap water - fish fornicate
>> in it" A few chemical elements in powder form aren't going make it worse
It wasn't the reality so much as how it might look. But then none of us were of Middle Eastern appearance.
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Apparently, not everyone is that careful when scattering the ashes of their loved ones at beauty spots.
travel.aol.co.uk/2013/06/14/mourners-leaving-piles-of-ashes-litter-lake-district/
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>> Apparently, not everyone is that careful when scattering the ashes of their loved ones at
>> beauty spots.
>> travel.aol.co.uk/2013/06/14/mourners-leaving-piles-of-ashes-litter-lake-district/
Unbelievable.
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>> But then none of us were of Middle Eastern appearance.
It's a pretty safe bet that you all were. In the Middle East people come in every variety from blue-eyed blond to black as the ace of spades. Red hair and green eyes are quite common in North Africa.
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>> Red hair
>> and green eyes are quite common in North Africa.
Both of which I possess. I have never been taken for a local south or east of Paris. Although some Soviet citizens did insist that I must have been a Georgian Jew.
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>> some Soviet citizens did insist that I must have been a Georgian Jew.
You could easily be descended from the Turkish Janissaries who ramrodded the Muslim empire for centuries. It reached well up into eastern and central Europe. The empire also used to capture Slavic boys and take them East to be trained as Janissaries. It was a two-way traffic.
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>> >>Turkish Janissaries
Never heard of them.
*looks them up on Wikipedia*
I see. What's their connection with red hair and green eyes?
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>> What's their connection with red hair and green eyes?
Those features are not uncommon in Turkey. Perhaps that's why they are widespread in North Africa. Where they came from in the first place I don't know. I'm not an ethnologist!
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Ah right. No, me neither. Always amused my fellow students that Sovs were so hell bent on insisting I was a Georgian Jew. What with Georgia and Turkey being neighbours, maybe there was something in it after all!
I was in a very remote mountain region of Montenegro once when our minibus had a breakdown. It limped in to a village, which staggeringly had a mechanic's workshop of sorts tucked behind a petrol station. On seeing me the mechanic dropped his tools, ran in to the workshop and dragged out a young colleague laughing and pointing at him and me, saying that we must be brothers. The ginger, green-eye apprentice did look a little startled, and we asked what was the big fuss. Apparently, these two chaps had barely ever left their village and had never seen another red haired person. We sat and drank copious amounts of their beer, ate roast lamb and they fixed up our minibus without charge. If what you say is right, AC, I expect he was a throwback to the Ottoman Empire, although I'm not sure even they managed to tame Montenegro due to its topography.
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There is thought that the hair/eye colour combination may have been inherited from the troops of Alexander the Great. nicolamcgeachie.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/afghangirl-stevemccurry.jpg
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Pleasant way to Organise a Funeral - Manatee
