...stay the hell away from Devon's lanes. Please. I beg you. I only had to go a mile up the road to drop a few friends off at a pub. Took me 25 minutes to get back after I met someone who couldn't reverse for toffee.
Let me set the scene:
Nice Audi, bloke probably in sixties. First of all, he can quite easily see my lights further down the lane in the narrow section. Had he stopped straight away, no reversing would be necessary at all. But NOOO, he has to push on.
Surprise, surprise, he meets me coming the other way. At this point, the lane is just about wide enough for two Micras to squeeze past if they suck their tummies in. He pulls to one side and stops, gesticulating to me to move into the remaining 5'6". Nice plan - not only do I have to do the difficult work of squeezing the car through the eye of a needle, but it's my fault if I hit him. And I like my Passat.
I stop in the middle of the road and wait. A stand off ensues. At this point I decide to reverse the 1/4 mile back to the next passing space (I should point out at this point that he is 20 feet (in a straight line) from a section of road at least 50 feet wide). This plan is scuppered when another car drives up behind me.
With much gesticulating, he hunts through his gearbox for reverse. Frankly, I'm not sure if he even knew if the car came with a reverse gear. Now much adjusting of wing mirrors. Eventually, once he's carefully revved the engine to about 6000 rpm, he gingerly accelerates backwards... into a wall. At about 2 mph. He has needed to turn the car through 90 degrees in the space of 6 feet to do this.
I'm laughing so much I stall the Passat. He sees me. The situation does not improve.
He pulls forward and tries again.
The process repeats until we eventually make it to the gap. Here, he helpfully stops alongside a parked lorry leaving an identical sized gap as before for me to squeeze though. I give up and drive around his other side to get past. His wife glares at me. I wave.
I'd have a drink but I've got to go out again later!
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and they say its women that cant reverse
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Thank you Mr Dot. Brightened up a beer-soaked Saturday evening. Priceless !
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Imagine it in a tight multi strorey, frightening.
I do like you tried to GD and reverse the half mile if poss, it's quicker and far less frustrating.
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>> Thank you Mr Dot. Brightened up a beer-soaked Saturday evening. Priceless !
>>
Living here in those lanes, trust me, it is a regular occurrence. The Audi provided one clue and I could recite a few more.
MD
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Brilliant! I would have laughed too :-)
I always wonder whether a manufacturer should add engine noise in cars for older people so they don't rev the bristols off them....
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Oh flip teabelly you've just triggered a memory from Padstow harbour circa 1970.
Strolling round the harbour one evening still light, someone was using an electric drill and as we approached the car park it got progressively more ear splitting.
It turned out to be an elderly lady manouevering her Austin A35, absolutely maximum revs that didn't drop in the least as she clutch slipped the car about, we were worried to death if her left foot slipped she'd have ended up in the drink, more importantly she'd have cleaned us up like 9 pins on the way.
Last edited by: gordonbennet on Sat 20 Mar 10 at 22:28
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Remember about 3 or 4 years ago we went up to Skye but took the old Glenelg ferry instead of the bridge. The ferry only holds I think, 3 or 4 cars and we were behind a foreign tourist.
It is single track as soon as you get off the ferry and he just did not understand how the passing places worked. Every time he came to one, and there was a car coming the other way, he would go into the passing place. It didn't matter if the passing place was on the left or the right side of the road he just went into it anyway! This led to quite a few standing on brakes moments from cars coming the other way!!
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>>Every time he came to one and there was a car coming the other way he would go into the passing place. It didn't matter if the passing place was on the left or the right side of the road he just went into it anyway!
'Ere In Devon those in smaller vehicles than the 'opposition' on a single track lane do just that....'Dive' into the available gap or indeed into an open field hoping that the gate is open. Always met by a blast of appreciation.
MD
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>> I stop in the middle of the road and wait. A stand off ensues.
You could get out and explain the situation. This helps.
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It happens all the time where I live.
People who can't reverse are the same ones, oddly, who drive past a passing place instead of slowing and pulling in when they see a car approaching.
There are 3 solutions:
1) get out the newspaper and settle down for a long read
2) get out and offer to drive for him
3) reverse half a mile up the road at speed just to show him how it's done, and then read the paper while waiting.
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The summer in Devon (Cornwall too) is an absolute nightmare for this when you get anywhere near the coast. Mates that I went to school with would often talk of mayhem trying to get home on the school bus, when the Grockles were trying to leave the beach.
Some 'vanners are usually the worst, (the ones that can't reverse them). I've seen a car load of locals push a caravan into a field with the permission of the owner in one situation where there was gridlock coming back from a beach trip (we had been there rather a long time though).
Wife and I are moving back there in the next couple of years, we've already agreed an exclusion zone near the coast, for that very reason.
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>> Wife and I are moving back there in the next couple of years we've already agreed an exclusion zone near the coast for that very reason.
>>
Sounds like a West Country meet to me!!! You bring the Gang. I'll bring the Zider!!
MD
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>> There are 3 solutions:
>> 1) get out the newspaper and settle down for a long read
>> 2) get out and offer to drive for him
>> 3) reverse half a mile up the road at speed just to show him how
>> it's done and then read the paper while waiting.
You've nicked my script.
MD
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Oh the joy of Devon's intimate byways. It's not Easter yet so not so many visitors struggling, stumbling through the high hedged byways of this most splendid counties within this, Englands green and pleasant land. I regularly drive a, larger than average, vehicle through some of Dartmoor's, narrower than average, lanes. The advantage over mere motor cars is a higher line of sight and the fact that "some" drivers cede to a larger vehicle with an ugly driver wearing glasses. But not always so and occasionally one enjoys spending time (sometimes lots of time) negotiating how we two parties are to get home before the sun goes down. Some loss of paint occasionally results from contact with granite cleverly hiding behind a thin layer of leaf. Some loss of face occasionally occurs when I back in to a stone cross with the tail lift that's come un-hitched and sticks out the back some six feet due to "technical malfunction"...........Ah yes, roll on summer. But would I want to be anywhere else...M25 or M6? I think not.
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Don't tell all KB.. They'll all be 'ere.
M
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I have sympathy for anyone who is on the verge of no longer being competent, either physically or mentally, to drive skillfully. It must be heartbreaking to have to give up driving. There but for the grace of God go each and every one of us.
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Despite their demands I refuse to take the family to Devon & Cornwall for a holiday because of the.... well holidaymakers.
Went some 32yrs ago in late teens and still remember the high hedged congestion, uncertain driving from many and arriving at coastal villages only to immediately leave again as there was nowhere to park.
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>> I have sympathy for anyone who is on the verge of no longer being competent
>> either physically or mentally to drive skillfully. It must be heartbreaking to have to give
>> up driving. There but for the grace of God go each and every one of
>> us.
>>
That's very true, and I wasn't being ageist. People who can't reverse come in all ages and sexes, and appear never to have been able to. It must have been a sheer fluke that they got through the driving test - or don't you have to reverse round a corner any more?
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>> I have sympathy for anyone who is on the verge of no longer being competent
>> either physically or mentally to drive skillfully. It must be heartbreaking to have to give
>> up driving. There but for the grace of God go each and every one of
>> us.
>>
True, but most can't reverse, here anyway. All joking aside most women seem to do the opposite of what is required when they look over their shoulder to reverse. Happens to some older men too.
MD
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Whilst waiting for a parking place in the City Centre last week, I encountered a lady driver who was attempting to reverse into a space that was obviously inadequate.
Sure enough, she swung the car out and clipped my wing. Attractively flushed with exasperation, she wound down her window and said "You could see I was going to do something stupid. Why didn't you wait to see what it was?"
Disclaimer. This is actually a repeated anecdote from some decades ago, but I think it a nice one.
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A friend gave me a morning's tutorial on reversing a trailer (something I'd never needed to do until that point) best thing I ever did - got me reversing in and out of parking spaces - not easy unless you have got good spacial awareness..
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A brain that works backwards usually does it too:)
Pat
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Cracked reversing the CRV yet Pat? :-)
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I was actually taught to reverse - an do it on the mirrors/sensors these days - never reversed into anything (touch wood)
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If I do it solely on the door mirrors I'm getting a bit better but I haven't a clue where the tow bar is and usuallu end up at least 6' from the garage door:)
If I look in the rear view mirror, or over my shoulder then it all goes pear shaped.
I managed to get a drive through one in Tesco car park this morning then some inconsiderate shopper came and parked behind me so I couldn't get the back door open!
Pat
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I've got one of those fresnel lense thingmys in my back window - brilliant. SWMBO can't use it.
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As a matter of principle we always reverse our cars into the garage. Up a slight slope and using wing mirrors , it keeps you in practice.
The pit, installed by a prior owner -was contrived to be installed so so 1. it is not in the centre of the stretch of the garage door.. and 2.it is angled slightly to one side... and 3.it is 1.2metres wide plus a bit so a Peugeot 106 only gets over it with one wheel overhanging the edge.. Reversing over it is such fun... not:-)
Neither my wife or I have any problems reversing as a result of the frequent practice...
Last edited by: madf on Tue 23 Mar 10 at 18:19
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Lady Dog can't reverse up our drive as its long and quite narrow at one point where the haus juts out,
The garage was built over 50 years after the house was built, which would explain things.
"What ya gonna do when I'm gone and they put me in 'the heater' I say",
Leave it at the bottom!
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>> I have sympathy for anyone who is on the verge of no longer being competent
>> either physically or mentally to drive skillfully. It must be heartbreaking to have to give
>> up driving. There but for the grace of God go each and every one of
>> us.
>>
I completely agree, and apply my best judgement accordingly.
Although, I did once meet someone* very unpleasant who stopped about 10 feet past a passing space and who expected me to reverse 1/2 mile. I'd just driven 300 miles and so got out, locked the car, and set off home across the fields (road bordered our land) after taking a photo of his number plate with my phone.
Bloke went absolutely apoplectic, but eventually (I was sneakily watching from behind the hedge) reversed, did a U-turn, and set off on a 6 mile detour. I hopped back into the car and carried on.
Rarely one gets to apply such perfect revenge, but when the time comes it's a fantastic feeling. :-)
* Twenties, so no risk of being unable to reverse. More an issue of him being a plonker.
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I suppose it's a bit like whistling. Those who can do it well think of it as easy and those who can't, well, don't.
I can reverse very well fortunately, but can't whistle to save myself.
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Triffic story, GD - bravo!
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I really do wish I could learn the length of the CRV.
It is about 3' both front or back shorter than I expect it to be.
I can't see the end of the bonnet because of that sexy curve it has, and the rear view mirror gives a false impression because of the spare wheel carrier and the thought of a dent in it.
Why is it I could reverse an artic and 45' trailer within an inch of a wall but can't get the CRV within 3 feet?
I attended a couse on Monday about Fuel Efficient Driving and it was so boring it was unbelievable! But one thing mentioned was that in approx 5 years door mirrors on cars will be phased out and replaced by small cameras.
I also learned that Adblue is made of pigs wee and not cows, as I thought!
And the Instructor had a 'beemer' as he proudly called it, but was fanatical about getting .001% more fuel consumption out of it.
What a waste surely, whatever happened to jumping in a car ( or a lorry) and enjoying a spirited drive just for the pleasure of it:)
Pat
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>> And the Instructor had a 'beemer' as he proudly called it but was fanatical about
>> getting .001% more fuel consumption out of it.
>> What a waste surely whatever happened to jumping in a car ( or a lorry)
>> and enjoying a spirited drive just for the pleasure of it:)
>>
He must be one of the Green nutters who drive in poor visibility with no lights to save electricity.
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This reminds of an RAF flying instructor, whose party piece was to fly a Whirlwind backwards round a figure of eight - so he had to sort out his feet, the collective (up/down lever), the stick and the hand throttle on the collective, and see where he was going in the mirrors.
Last edited by: oldnotbold on Wed 24 Mar 10 at 11:47
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>> This reminds of an RAF flying instructor whose party piece was to fly a Whirlwind
>> backwards round a figure of eight - so he had to sort out his feet
>> the collective (up/down lever) the stick and the hand throttle on the collective and see
>> where he was going in the mirrors.
>>
The first time I read that I was thinking of the WW2 twin engined fighter of that name, and wondered how the instructor had managed to re-define the laws of physics so comprehensively, then the penny finally dropped and I realised you were talking about the much more common helicopter. Too much coffee today for me methinks.
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>> >> wondered how the instructor had managed to re-define the laws of
>> physics so comprehensively >>
My party-piece is swimming backwards. It takes some doing to reverse the instinctive arm and leg movements, but if you do you do indeed remain floating horizontal but move backwards through the water.
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Thread drift alert !
>> My party-piece is swimming backwards.
More common than you might think, especially in mature individuals who are late to swimming. The ankles seize up and the feet hook the body backwards in front crawl leg kick.
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>> He must be one of the Green nutters who drive in poor visibility with no
>> lights to save electricity.
>>
I'm neurotic about fuel efficiency but that's because I'm a cheapskate, not a green nutter. Please take more care with your insults. :-)
Dave
(Proud holder of 72.2MPG record from Oxford to Devon in a 1.9TDI).
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>> Why is it I could reverse an artic and 45' trailer within an inch of
>> a wall but can't get the CRV within 3 feet That's one of the mysteries of life, Patsy !
I became very skilled at doing a quick reverse of my 19ft long tailer, often with a car on.
( sometimes a big 'un ) I approached home from the right, swung into the middle of the road diagonally, put other lock on and she was in. My drive, past the house, is only an inch or two wider than the trailer. It's so narrow, I now take the side windows out of the caravan to stop them getting scratched. There's also a soil pipe sticking out !........Perfect at it, an absolute star of the reversing world !!
Why then, can't I reverse my narrow, 8ft long , 3 ft high box trailer without jacknifing or hitting the wall or pipe ?? After many years of failure, I don't bother now, just unhitch and push it in !
Ted
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>>Why then, can't I reverse my narrow, 8ft long , 3 ft high box trailer without jacknifing or hitting the wall or pipe ??
Is that a rhetorical question Ted, or do you want an answer?
I'm very much the same, 17ft trailer no problem, don't even try with the short ones.
I compare it with balancing something in the palm my hand. Broomstick, no problem. Pencil, impossible. Just gets away from you too quickly.
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Perhaps, Crock, it's down to the fact that I can't actually see the little trailer due to my spare wheel on the back door.
I went to the tip last week and tried to reverse it...smooth concrete, nothing withinn 50 feet in any direction. Still cocked it up bigtime !
Ted
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You've got to see it to reverse it. The shorter the car the better. My 205 was so much better than the Focus estate on both counts.
After my last post I went to try the broomstick/pencil balance just to confirm. ( Yes it's a slow day and before you ask they were vertical ! ) I can only manage the broomstick if I look right at the top of it to get maximum notice that it is about to fall and in which direction.
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If you can't reverse... - Bellboy
