...stay the hell away from Devon's lanes. Please. I beg you. I only had to go a mile up the road to drop a few friends off at a pub. Took me 25 minutes to get back after I met someone who couldn't reverse for toffee.
Let me set the scene:
Nice Audi, bloke probably in sixties. First of all, he can quite easily see my lights further down the lane in the narrow section. Had he stopped straight away, no reversing would be necessary at all. But NOOO, he has to push on.
Surprise, surprise, he meets me coming the other way. At this point, the lane is just about wide enough for two Micras to squeeze past if they suck their tummies in. He pulls to one side and stops, gesticulating to me to move into the remaining 5'6". Nice plan - not only do I have to do the difficult work of squeezing the car through the eye of a needle, but it's my fault if I hit him. And I like my Passat.
I stop in the middle of the road and wait. A stand off ensues. At this point I decide to reverse the 1/4 mile back to the next passing space (I should point out at this point that he is 20 feet (in a straight line) from a section of road at least 50 feet wide). This plan is scuppered when another car drives up behind me.
With much gesticulating, he hunts through his gearbox for reverse. Frankly, I'm not sure if he even knew if the car came with a reverse gear. Now much adjusting of wing mirrors. Eventually, once he's carefully revved the engine to about 6000 rpm, he gingerly accelerates backwards... into a wall. At about 2 mph. He has needed to turn the car through 90 degrees in the space of 6 feet to do this.
I'm laughing so much I stall the Passat. He sees me. The situation does not improve.
He pulls forward and tries again.
The process repeats until we eventually make it to the gap. Here, he helpfully stops alongside a parked lorry leaving an identical sized gap as before for me to squeeze though. I give up and drive around his other side to get past. His wife glares at me. I wave.
I'd have a drink but I've got to go out again later!
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