My 90 year old dad is still driving. Has an automatic Nissan Note.
Had his annual eyesight test last July and was still good enough to drive. But is on the list for cataracts operation.
The family are more aware now that he is struggling to read anything and uses an app on his iPad that magnifies stuff and he reads it on the screen.
Anyway, cut to the chase, we are all worried about him driving. But we know his weekly trip to church and Aldi is his last bit of freedom.
I phoned his optician today and expressed our concerns and she totally understood where we were coming from. She is going to call him tomorrow to come in for an update test “to see how his cataracts are doing due to the delay in the hospital referral”. She will tell him that they will be giving him drops in his eyes so he can’t drive to the appt and suggested to me that whoever brings him should come in to the appt with him.
Yes I know it’s a cop out from us but the optician has made this easy. Will see what happens next. Prior to his July appt he told me that if the optician said time was up then he would be happy that someone else had made the decision and he could look back on an accident free driving history. Hopefully he is still in the same thinking.
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Not a cop out, it's a kind way of avoiding bad feelings.
With my parents dying before the conversation was necessary (although a close thing with Mum!) I was pleased to dodge the responsibility.
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I had to take my mums keys away from her upon suggestion from the doctor*. It wasn't pleasant, and I have no doubt it contributed to her rapid mental decline
* in the event of a major incident involving death, ignoring the doctors advice might make me legally complicit.
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Well surprisingly, shockingly, he passed his eyesight test so can still drive! For 90 years old he still has all his marbles, hammers the family at the weekly quiz etc.
But am convinced reflex /reactions should be taken into account in these assessments. The theory test already contains such an assessment. Surely in some way it could be used?
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I suppose the time will come, but console yourself that he hasn't got that clean driving record from driving on his reactions and reflexes.
Cataracts are something else, my wife is waiting for the op too, but I wouldn't be surprised if the reading thing is also light-related. I'm only 68, have good eyesight, but don't find normal sized print at all easy to read in what I used to consider normal light. I read somewhere once that an 8 year old needs something like 8 times the mount of light to read that an 8 year old does, and I can believe it.
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>> I read somewhere once that an 8 year old needs something
>> like 8 times the mount of light to read that an 8 year old does,
>> and I can believe it.
Edit required.
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Thanks Duncan, Zero needs a good bash or it doesn't work:)
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>> Thanks Duncan, Zero needs a good bash
>>
I can only dream.
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I can understand a concern for elderly parents, and the damage they may cause others.
If there are obvious serious deficiencies - visual or other - it would be irresponsible to allow them to continue driving.
But one of the worst aspects of aging is increasing isolation from society, friends and family. Living in a town or city with everything close, decent public transport or short taxi ride, means giving up driving may even be a benefit (less stress).
In more rural areas, small towns and villages, or with dispersed family and friends, stopping the elderly from driving, unless abundantly necessary, simply hastens their decline.
On a very philosophical level - living is more than preserving biological life - it is about friends, conversation, family, enjoying a meal etc etc. Put bluntly, the threat of physical accident may be far less than the consequences of isolation.
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Terry. A most brilliant post.
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“In more rural areas, small towns and villages, or with dispersed family and friends, stopping the elderly from driving, unless abundantly necessary, simply hastens their decline.”
Why perhaps it is a good idea to move to a smaller and more easily managed property near to facilities and public transport as you get old” That dream house in the country with half an acre won’t seem as attractive when you are 80 especially if there is just the one of you.
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>> Why perhaps it is a good idea to move to a smaller and more easily
>> managed property near to facilities and public transport as you get old”
Makes no odds, the feeling of loss of independence that only a car can bring does hasten their decline.
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I disagree. In fact having to drive when you no longer really are happy to do so adds to stress and worry. There is life without a car. Just plan for it.
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>> I disagree. In fact having to drive when you no longer really are happy to
>> do so adds to stress and worry. There is life without a car. Just plan
>> for it.
Well I disagree because I have faced it and seen the consequences, and it had nothing to do with not living near facilities.
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In the final years of car ownership I think my father became quite stressed at the thought of driving. When eventually he had to give up I believe he was actually quite relieved. Fortunately living in a bungalow in a small market town they were both able to continue to have a reasonable life without a car and were considerably better off financially.
I guess everyone is different.
Last edited by: CGNorwich on Sun 6 Feb 22 at 19:27
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You see it on those move to the country shows, retired couples moving from towns to big houses in the middle of nowhere, upsizing if like. They often think that'll they'll be often hosting friends and family so need spare bedrooms, ideas of grand Christmas all around a big table.
I'm not sure it works out like that, children and grandchildren feeling they have to trapse out to the middle of nowhere, i bet the novelty wears off pretty quickly.
I think the same about people moving from city to country after one or two winters in a small village i wonder how many will remain.
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I've been ridiculed for buying a bungalow, but my arthritis ain't improving. If push comes to shove and I have to give up driving, a mobility scooter will easily get me to a choice of local shops and the nearby bus routes will get me to town and larger supermarkets.
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My dad’s driving - neiltoo
