The flux is to remove oxidation and help the solder 'flow'.
A soldering iron isn't going to do the job for you. The USB socket in that video is surface mounted which means that the fiddly little soldered joints are underneath the socket, between itself and the PCB. You need to be able to get all the joints molten at the same time to lift the socket from the PCB.
Also, nothing is happening when you use a soldering iron because your soldering iron doesn't have enough oomph to melt the joints before the metal part of the socket has transferred all the heat away. If you use a soldering iron with more oomph it's likely that the localised heat will knacker the PCB anyway.
I'm pretty good with a soldering iron and wouldn't attempt that job without a heat gun.
Your only other option is to carefully butcher the broken socket until you can get to the joints underneath. You then have the problem of soldering in the new socket. Even if you have a heat gun, aligning the new socket with the solder pads underneath where you can't see them won't be easy.
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