| Non-motoring > Christmas Re-Arranged :-( | Miscellaneous |
| Thread Author: Bromptonaut | Replies: 55 |
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New Sat 23 Dec 23 18:12
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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The plan was to go to CAMC Southport in the Caravan from tonight up to the morning of the 28th and then move to Daughter's in laws for a family get together including The Lad and his partner. Set off this morning with ETA of 14:30. Ignored the Satnav and took the A5/A426 from M1/18 to M1/20 with intention of using the A50. Just on the M1/21 overbridge when the car announces an engine fault with loss of most of its power. Crawled onto the hard shoulder and phoned Britannia Rescue. Agent from a firm called Crouch was there in around 90 minutes. Car on flat bed and, not without some issues, caravan hitched to rear. Home again back as we started the day by 16:00. Fault code P0271 - issue with number 4 fuel injector. Initially led up the garden path by battery/alternator suspicions but turns out that the fault code means the fan runs on after engine stop so flattens the battery.... Plan B has us driving to Liverpool tomorrow and staying with son then back here before going up to meet family as planned at end of week. That's two years on the bounce Christmas has been screwed over; last year Mrs B was in hospital with Pneumonia.. |
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New Sat 23 Dec 23 18:28
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - smokie
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Sorry to hear that, it's certainly a bit of a bummer to say the least! My tale is less dramatic but the plumber started our bathroom later than hoped and pretty much everything has (through no real fault of his or ours) taken at least twice as long as planned- suffice to say he's literally just left now till Jan 2 and we have no flooring, basin or loo in the bathroom - but at last the shower went live yesterday after about three weeks of strip down washes at the kitchen sink and occasional 10 mile round trips to local daughter's flat for a shower!! (We only have the one bathroom, luckily also a loo downstairs). We have family staying for a few nights and other visitors during the period so not massively convenient. Still it is what it is, and at least we're still alive and kicking and looking forward to the festive break!! Last edited by: smokie on Sat 23 Dec 23 at 18:29
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New Sun 24 Dec 23 09:55
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - RichardW
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Bummer.. The Berlingo? Injector failure is common on the 8V engines from 2011 till when the Blue Hdi versions came in. Doing well if you haven't had one done yet! Whilst you could just do the one that has gone duff, might be worth considering biting the cost bullet and doing all 4 to save a bit of labour, and reduce the chance of another trip to the hard shoulder! |
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New Sun 24 Dec 23 13:21
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - zippy
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Sorry to hear of your vehicular woes Bromp. Hope the travelling that you do today and the rest of the week is without incident. (Dad has a Berlingo - converted for wheelchair access for mum. I'll get him to look out for a similar issue, though touch wood - it's been ok on the short runs he does, despite it being a diesel.) |
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New Thu 4 Jan 24 11:39
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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Broken Berlingo finally picked up this morning and taken to the repair garage. When I rang on 27th today was earliest they could do. Bit of a faff getting it onto the flatbed as it wouldn't start (it can run but v rough) off the the agent's anaemic battery pack. It flattens it's own battery due to the fault keeping the fan running. If the guy had rung beforehand, as LV said he would, I could at least have told him the road is tight and he should do a recce before coming in. Managed to push it into the road and then he returned to approach in reverse. Waiting for the call to tell me how many £££ a fix will be. Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Thu 4 Jan 24 at 11:40
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New Sat 13 Jan 24 15:30
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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And it's back on the road. Picked up on Thursday and after a couple of trips out can confirm it's all good. Total cost c£1350 including supply and fit new battery as the old one was shot after being deep discharged by the fault. We'll keep it for now but any more issues (it's 10yo and on around 140k miles but we had it from new so history is nailed) and it'll be chopped in for something like a VW Caddy or its Ford cousin or possibly a Superb. Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Sat 13 Jan 24 at 15:30
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New Sat 13 Jan 24 19:11
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Robin O'Reliant
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| I share your pain Brompt, for obvious reasons. It is often worth swallowing a large bill for a repair rather than getting rid of an otherwise reliable car and replacing it with an unknown quantity. |
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New Sat 13 Jan 24 20:47
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> It is often worth swallowing a large >> bill for a repair rather than getting rid of an otherwise reliable car and replacing >> it with an unknown quantity. Absolutely. Known cost stuff like exhausts, clutches etc and even gearboxes are just what you have to put up with. It's when you've a problem neither you nor the techs can bottom out that care is needed to avoid chucking ever increasing sums into the money pit.... |
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New Sat 13 Jan 24 21:06
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Runfer D'Hills
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I’m sure I saw an interview with Mike Brewer (a much nicer and more eloquent guy in “real life” it would seem than his on screen persona would suggest) a while back in which he was saying that its almost always cheaper and wiser to fix and keep a car, provided it is structurally sound, than to sell and replace it. He was of course also saying that because a lot of people don’t or won’t do that it has provided him with a very good living trading in used cars that are relatively easily fixed and made ready for their next owner.
Last edited by: Runfer D'Hills on Sat 13 Jan 24 at 21:07
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New Sat 13 Jan 24 22:47
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Zero
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| Nah, it's always best to dump your wagon, and buy the one the 9ne that someone has spent an arm and leg on following Mike Brewers advice and got P***ed off with |
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New Sun 14 Jan 24 07:29
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Mr Moo
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Was that basically four new injectors Bromp? Or did it need a fuel pump too? If that’s the first big bill in your ownership, that’s pretty good going. I suppose for many folks these days, £1,300 is probably six months of payments for some sort of PCP type deal. Hope she continues to serve you well. |
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New Sun 14 Jan 24 10:33
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> Was that basically four new injectors Bromp? Or did it need a fuel pump too? Just the one, number 4, that had failed. Pump and everything else fuelling wise OK. There were fault codes recorded, or potential problems upon inspection, with air trunking for the 'in' side of the intercooler and something to do with a 'brake switch' for which I couldn't get a cogent explanation. The first was, I think, a loose jubilee clip which they tightened. I'll monitor the other. The only other non normal bills I've had were related to a stuck rear caliper and the system for the fuel additive for the DPF. |
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New Mon 15 Jan 24 14:48
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - RichardW
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| £1350 for 1 injector and a battery... u woz robbed!! |
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New Mon 15 Jan 24 15:32
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> £1350 for 1 injector and a battery... u woz robbed!! I know they're called main steelers* for a reason!! We had a PSA specialist indy in town for years but he'd gone off the boil before he shut up shop. * I can spell the word for people engaged in the act of stealing but the naughty word filter doesn't like it. Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Mon 15 Jan 24 at 15:34
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New Mon 15 Jan 24 17:25
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> £1350 for 1 injector and a battery... u woz robbed!! IIRC you're in Scotland. What would be a fair price there for a franchise or decent indy? Here in the SE Midlands we're almost in London territory for prices.... |
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New Mon 15 Jan 24 19:42
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - RichardW
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I don't darken the door of the main dealer! Local garage is I think £60+VAT (that was a year ago mind, probably £70 now!)- I imagine Arnold Clark are near £100 / hour. I see Cit are charging over 600 for an injector - I had 300 in mind aftermarket for a new one (reman cheaper, but that sounds like a risk!). |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 22:02
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bobby
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| Brompton, did your breakdown compact transport car and caravan back to yours and then come back after Xmas to transfer the car to garage? That’s good going! |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 09:57
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> Brompton, did your breakdown compact transport car and caravan back to yours and then come >> back after Xmas to transfer the car to garage? Britannia Rescue did. Whether they would have done if the breakdown was at a time when the garage was open and not mid afternoon when everything had closed for Chrimbo is another question. I'm pretty sure I had a 'change of terms and conditions' letter a few years ago to say that offer was no longer universal. |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 15:26
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> That's two years on the bounce Christmas has been screwed over; last year Mrs B >> was in hospital with Pneumonia.. Make that three years on the bounce. Son and fiance down with suspected Norovirus, he was up all night with vomiting bit.... Daughter understandably does not want our 3yo grandson exposed to it and anyway he's coughing and full of snot courtesy of the cold his dad brought home from work. D's father in law is a retired GP and didn't want it in his house either. Lunch tomorrow off. Turkey never left the freezer. We're home with gifts undistributed. M6/M1 were one 'congestion ahead' warning after another though the A50 and A5 were much better. Six minutes short of four hours for a journey that was predicted as two and a half hours at 08:00 this morning. |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 16:50
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Robin O'Reliant
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| Apart from that, how was Christmas? |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 17:40
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Ted
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My birthday on Sunday, !! coming round, kids and grandkids. Big lasagne already prepared with trifle and fresh fruit salad for afters. Most inconvenient...Man City playing at 1430, probably for another beating ! Better bring me some lavish, expensive pressies to make up for it ! Ted |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 19:35
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - R.P.
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| Bit of a quiet Christmas here. My FiL was in hospital and sadly died week last Tuesday. Been a grim few days really. No decs this year, but we managed a good Christmas Dinner. Ate less this year. New processes with certifying death taking a lot longer - but they beat their own 10 working day forecast down to 6 days. Very sad for all concerned, funeral arrangements in had. It was all a bit unexpected. He was ex-Taffic Police and when I got my lovely 335d x-drive he took it out and gave it a sound thrashing. Happy days. |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 19:42
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - zippy
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So sorry to hear about your FIL RP. Always sad, seems more so at this time of year. Thoughts are with you and yours. |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 20:03
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - R.P.
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| Thanks Zippy. My wife's newly aquired car now knows its own way to the local hospital. We're very lucky (through planning) we live 10 minutes away from the hospital either by car or bus (which avoids the parking nonsense) |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 21:57
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Dog
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My sister died 3 days before Christmas, not sad, she was 92 and went weeks ago really. Bowel cancer :( We live near Bude now and went to Widemouth Bay on Xmas day - packed out with surfers and dog walkers, moved on to a quieter area with great coastal views and ... the sun came out :) |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 05:50
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Clk Sec
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| Condolences, Dog. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 07:21
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Dog
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| Thanks CS, she was 20 years older than me, and her time had come. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 09:02
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - legacylad
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>> Condolences, Dog. >> Same from me. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 10:35
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Dog
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She was fortunate in many ways, she died at home for one thing, her youngest daughter still lived at home + her other daughter and her son lived locally. Speaking personally, I would rather have shuffled orf a few years earlier than hanging on til the bitter end. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 11:02
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - zippy
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>> >> Condolences, Dog. >> >> >> Same from me. >> Same from me Dog. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 13:28
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Dog
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| My 3 older brothers have 'gone' and my older sister (5 years) has been on dialysis for 9 years but, she still manages to live a 'normal' life with great support from her neighbours in Wellington, Somerset. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 23:37
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Fullchat
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Condolences to your wife and yorself for the loss of your FiL. As stated always seems worse this time of year. And the loss of an old school Black Rat :(
Last edited by: Fullchat on Sat 28 Dec 24 at 23:39
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 19:45
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - zippy
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Fingers crossed for 4th time lucky Bromp. Loads of bugs going around hospitals. Miss Z reports staff numbers are considerably down. |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 20:15
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> Fingers crossed for 4th time lucky Bromp. Thanks Zips. As Miss B's MiL says: I guess the fact that norovirus closes hospital wards and wreaks havoc on cruise ships gives an indication that it’s pretty nasty. |
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New Fri 27 Dec 24 22:36
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - legacylad
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I went away with friends for a 12 night holiday 10 Dec to Fuerteventura. A great hotel with wonderful food, where I’d stayed previously. Day 3 went down with lurgy…managed a bowl of fresh fruit & yoghurt for breakfast, 2 bowls of soup evening meal..and the food at this hotel s fantastic, especially the Japanese restaurant . More or less confined to room for 6 days…constant hacking cough, sleepless nights, no taste or smell. Recovered now so daily visits to my old mum in Care Home ( Alzheimer’s ) …just as well I don’t like Christmas. And the cloud & mist down to roof top level doesn’t help … |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 16:41
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Manatee
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Sorry to hear that Bromp, what are the chances? I gather the hospitals are struggling with a combination of Covid, norovirus and some other respiratory thing. We're 'doing a Warner's' in a few weeks so I hope that doesn't get hit by norovirus. Never been troubled by it myself but I know hotels have been closed by it in the past. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 17:29
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - tyrednemotional
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Over the years a lot of old friends and acquaintances slowly drop into the category of "Christmas card friends". It is quite nice to keep in touch, even if only once a year, but we're reaching that age where one begins to wonder if last year's card was the final one as the deliveries before Christmas count down*. SWMBO and myself have joint good friends, ex-work colleagues from 40+ years ago who are a couple, but we've seen them probably only three times in the interim since we both moved on. This year's card announced that "he" had died three weeks ago. Given the lack of recent contact it was surprisingly depressing (not least because he's notably younger than myself). It put a bit of a downer on Christmas, and given the funeral is on Monday (and we shall go), it's not going to be a particularly happy entry into the new year either (though, as is the case with funerals, we might catch up with others we haven't seen for ages). (*We've run a bit of a campaign over the last year or two, attempting to get in touch f-to-f with people who might fall into that category, before it's too late, and have had some success, and some very enjoyable meets). |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 18:43
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Manatee
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| TBH we've been doing the same thing. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 19:13
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - James Loveless
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T&E - your post strikes a chord. I am still "processing" (I think that's the proper way of putting it) the sudden death, a week before Christmas, of a 77-year-old friend who I have known since I was 15. He and his wife retired to the Isle of Wight and we drifted out of touch, despite offers to visit them. Not exactly convenient to get to, the Isle of Wight. Anyway, we never made it. And, ironically, if the funeral is held there (and why not?) we will probably go. The older you get, the more funerals you go to, of others less fortunate than yourself. It's the deaths of those younger than you (as was the friend in question, by a year or two) that really churn you up, though. Especially when they have made a deep impact on you, and probably changed the direction of your life quite a bit. Not a good ending to year that has had a lot of ups and downs. |
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New Sat 28 Dec 24 20:17
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bobby
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As is always the case, folk make time and effort to attend funerals but don’t manage the same effort to see them when alive. And that’s not directed at anyone here , just a fact of life. How many of us hear of someone in hospital and think oh I must visit them. But wouldn’t make the time to go and visit them at home. |
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New Tue 31 Dec 24 10:13
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - tyrednemotional
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Well, after yesterday's funeral (see above) I'm not feeling as downbeat as I thought I might. A short, light, secular service, it was well attended by an eclectic mix of people (with both of the couple being ex-councillors there was a good council representation, including two, mildly-disgraced ex-city council leaders). More enjoyably, being with the railway until retirement, they'd kept in touch with a good number of SWMBO and myself's past work colleagues, who were very well represented, and neither of us had seen them (with the exception of one) for over 40 years. I recognised most: could put names to slightly fewer but managed to catch up. One who chatted to me in detail I didn't initially recall, but the memories came back during conversation (and he still walks with another contemporaneous colleague). One who "buttonholed" me as he recognised me I don't remember at all, but he reckons I was his first boss when he joined the railway in 1978 (and I'm sure he's right, because the context for the year is correct). There were, of course, reminiscences of other "absent friends" but the most surprising thing for me was the fond memories from people of working with (largely for) me back in the day. I was certainly good at my job then, but I wouldn't really have expected to invoke such a response on a personal level. My ego felt suitably massaged! (The one attendee that I have seen in the interim passed another ex-work colleague and I some years ago whilst we were walking the Monsal Trail. He was coming the other way on a unicycle! We simply didn't believe it until he went past, and when I turned and shouted him, he rather fell off! He hadn't seen us as he was having to concetrate so hard) |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 13:58
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Slightlyfatdirector
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A number of posts above that stuck a chord and commiserations to all those that have lost someone, be it a relative - or past friend - recently. Not wanting to put a dampener on the mood, but my tale has a recommendation that I feel worth sharing. My wife died on the 21st November aged just 62. We knew that her days were numbered as she had breast cancer 15 years ago that came back as secondary cancer five years ago and was found when she broke her hip and they found it was all through her bones, hence the break. Anyway, we went through the hip replacement, drug therapies, and many other drug treatments in the last 5 years but she was really unfortunate that many had terrible side effects , and they never managed to get on top of her pain. It was then just a case of as one drug stopped holding the cancer back, the next was less effective and with more side effects until she said "no more". We got to see our daughter marry the nicest young man back in the summer and had a great day, and that had been her goal. Bless her, my wife was so unlucky to the end. They decided to replace her other hip to reduce the chance of a catastrophic break, and then found she had high heart rate. They discovered she had pulmonary embolisms (blood clots on the lungs) so prescribed her with blood thinners to address these, with a warning to be careful that bruising could look worse and take longer to heal if she bumped herself, and if she bumped her head to come to hospital. A few days later she had a fall in the bathroom at home whilst I was at work. I rushed home, she said that she had bumped her head and off we went to A&E. After over 9 hours waiting, we finally saw a lovely doctor who suggested a head CT scan as there was some confusion and loss of words taking place and they found she had a bleed on the brain and the blood thinners would not have helped. Off she went to another hospital to be monitored, and amongst other things we learned that the cancer (that was also in other places) was progressing quite quickly. After being told that she probably had a few short months left, she suddenly went downhill and died two days later. Gosh, it feels like I am giving a life-story here.....Sorry. Anyway, she was not able to have a proper conversations with me as the days went on, as she could not find the right words, and her forgetfulness was exaggerated in this time. We thought she was going to recover at least enough to come home, so we had no expectation something was imminent. She did see our daughter and son in law when she was feeling quite lucid one day and that was great. What we had not done however - and had on our "to-do" list - was to write down everything we both wanted to happen when either of us died to make each other (or our daughter's) life easier after either or both of us went, and this is what I am going to suggest to all. Not to preach it, but just make a suggestion. My Mum was brilliant and had a file "When I die" with everything she wanted in it. Snippets of poems and hymns she liked, a photo of her in the dress she wanted to wear for the funeral, you name it, it was there and made our lives so much easier in dealing with everything at such a difficult time. There was a list of possessions and what interesting things came from where, and the history behind some, and a suggestion as to whom might like them. There was a clear will (that at least both my wife and I had done some years ago). This was brilliant and my wife and I were determined to do the same. We had skirted round the topic a number of times and were not avoiding it. We were clear the fact she was on borrowed time, and I am not the healthiest specimen, but we never put pen to paper - probably thinking that we would do this once the 'few short months' were a bit further progressed. Some weeks before she died she had been to a funeral director and picked up a brochure, and was going to have a look at the crematorium and see if she liked it, but nothing was committed to paper. In the end my daughter (only 24) and her husband and I sat as a committee and had to make all the decisions ourselves and hope they were the right ones. I think we did a good job and the funeral was a great tribute to her, but goodness, we could have done with some more information... Luckily I had access to her phone, but who were all the people named in it? Nurses, people she knew, people she liked / didn't, etc? Not a clue. She was not a very social person so I knew which neighbours to inform (and not!) and probably who of them to specifically invite to the funeral, and other than one of the pharmacy team and her hair dresser I was at a bit of a loss regarding anyone else. What clothes would she have wanted to wear, what clothes for the funeral attendees? Colourful or black? Pieces of music, readings? Hymns (we were not religious so didn't do that in the end) - but these were the things we never discussed and really should have done. So last weekend I sat down and planned out everything for me so my daughter and son in law don't have the same issue. I have kept it light hearted, jokey and upbeat, and have listed all the stuff I would like and not like, who the phone contacts are that mean something to me (and are not customers for example). Dress code, music, no hymns, a poem, and I can leave the eulogy to whoever wants to do it if anyone does. Flowers / donations, whether I am to be cremated / buried, the list goes on. What are the pension plans, numbers and companies, mortgage, insurance policies, and so on. All on a few pages of A4 and in a folder clearly marked, and I will tell them where it is this weekend (I have told them it exists). This probably took me less than an hour. I would just encourage others to think along the same lines, and not put it off for too long, as one day, wallop, everything changes, and whilst we will all be dead, we have people left behind who may be having to do some head-scratching! To me we have some positives - The long drawn out demise we both feared for my wife didn't happen. The cancer that had been after her for 15 year's didn't get her, and we got to say we loved her before she went. Oh, and to top it off, I jarred my back about 3 days before Christmas whilst the family was still with me, and spent 3 days and nights on a reclining chair in the kitchen in absolute agony. Finally got the drugs I needed (after the kids were fighting my corner with every part of the NHS they could..) and I was mobile enough to let them go for a once-in-a-lifetime trip abroad they thought they might have to cancel. Needless to say, we did not have the planned Christmas lunch! The dog kennel we use was of course fully booked months ahead but they knew us well and said to just bring her in and they would make an emergency home for her somehow as there was no way I could cope with her. I collected her on Saturday after just being well enough to manage, and the company I work with now let's me bring her into the office. Sending best wishes to all for 2025! |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 14:18
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Zero
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Deepest condolences SFD, sounds like you have been through the mill a bit, but appear to have come through with a head on. Did my "what to do, here are the essential financial details etc" list after my second cancer diagnosis in14 months. Strangely tho, never did a will. Funeral instructions were "Its meaningless to me, you do what makes you happier" Take care. |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 15:12
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - zippy
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Sincerest condolences SFD. I hope 2025 brings you some comfort. Z |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 15:46
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - James Loveless
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One of the most thoughtful and thought-provoking posts I think I've ever seen, SFD. I hope I can deal with stuff like this, if I have to, with an equal amount of objectivity and a lack of sentimentality or self-pity. Thoughts such as these have occupied my mind, off and on, for some time. After the news of the loss of the old friend mentioned above, I had news from one of my sons that his mother's lung condition (interstitial lung disease) is getting worse and is now classified as progressive pulmonary fibrosis. She has been given 6 months to two years to live. Though she and I are still quite close, for some reason she told the kids and not me. My eldest son is quite capable of dealing with everything. His job involves being organised and his wife is a nurse. They will understand the situation, though probably I shall be consulted. They say bad news comes in threes. My eldest stepson phoned last Friday in a panic, asking his Mum to come round quickly - he lives very close by. His current girlfriend, with whom he has a volatile relationship, had thrown boiling water over him. We called 999 for an ambulance and, unbeknown to us, the handler called the police. Obviously there must be a protocol when domestic violence is suspected. The police took statements and told us the crime would be recorded, but no action taken - probably because the stories were (unsurprisingly) inconsistent, the lad changing the story we had been told (likely the truth) to "it was an accident" and he wasn't prepared to press charges. We cancelled the ambulance after being told there was a wait of several hours and took him to A & E ourselves. He was in a lot of pain. They patched him up, had him back on Sunday for fresh dressings and referred him to a specialist burns department a couple of hours away. He is there as an outpatient as I write. A dreadful end to 2024 and start of 2025, but, surprisingly to myself, I don't feel too badly about it all. I did and shall do everything I can to help and not make public judgements, and not dwell on the tragic unfairness of it all. |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 16:44
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Fullchat
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DV should be dealt with robustly and can be proceeded without the victim necessarily consenting. Throwing pans of boiling water about doesn't bode well for the future. I wish him well. |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 19:16
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - smokie
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Thanks for your post SFD, in particular for introducing a whole set of sad topics in a clear and balanced style. I'm going to give it to SWMBO to read. We've done a fair bit of what you suggest but it's a but haphazard and not "all in one place". A close mate has unexpectedly been in a very touch and go situation for about the past week or so, and now your post, together certainly bring home the importance of communication with the family over such arrangements before it's all too late. Thanks again. Best wishes for 2025... Last edited by: smokie on Tue 7 Jan 25 at 19:16
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 20:49
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - zippy
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The touching posts here show that we never know what's round the corner and often have no understanding of what other people are going through. If that isn't a good reason to be good to one another, I don't know what is. Let your loved ones know that you love them. I hope 2025 brings the best for all of you. Last edited by: zippy on Tue 7 Jan 25 at 20:49
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 21:00
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Robin O'Reliant
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Sorry to hear that SFD. I'm full of admiration for the wat yourself, daughter and son in law dealt with it. |
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New Tue 7 Jan 25 22:17
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bobby
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>> We cancelled the ambulance after being told there was a wait of several hours and took him to A & E FIL is currently in a bed in Wishaw Hospital A and E. Has been since 2pm yesterday. Got taken by ambulance where he sat in the ambulance outside the hospital for 6 hours. Was triaged in the ambulance and at one point they were going to start his transfusions there. Apparently there is an issue with hospital staff doing anything in backs of ambulance as it’s not their “area”. At one point there were 13 ambulances queued up and there are only 15 actually on in the whole of Lanarkshire. My FIL’s ambulance had came out from Glasgow! I walked through the waiting room and it was like something out of a war film. Absolutely full, people everywhere with every sort of physical obvious injury that you could imagine. My own father has the virus that is doing the rounds but I managed to get a home visit from the Doc and he prescribed antibiotics, steroids and inhaler and this made a huge difference within 12 hours. My dad’s oxygen level was hovering about 89-92 and the 111 operator said that if it got consistently 90 or under I would need to call 999. I would have hated to do that to my dad knowing what would be waiting for him. |
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New Thu 9 Jan 25 12:32
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - R.P.
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Deepest condolences SFD. Thoughts very much with you, Some real life lessons there. - My FiL died on 17 December and was buried on 7 Jan, which was pretty quick especially due to Bank Holidays etc. The graveside service was 30 mile journey away in to deepest Meirionydd - it snowed, getting pretty grim on the way there, but cleared up for the trip home to a memorial service in the afternoon. Traditional Christian service, with superb singing of classic Welsh hymns thanks to members of my FiL's choir attending. Beautifully coordinated by undertaker and a Minister. Most of the Admin work re probate etc has been done. Bits and pieces to be sorted but has taught me a lesson to document stuff in my own affairs (which are complex !). |
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New Thu 9 Jan 25 16:05
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Slightlyfatdirector
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Thanks to everyone for their kind responses, and best wishes to all for 2025. Good luck to you and the family James. Gosh... @Zero, it's none of my business of course, but the lack of a will struck me a bit.... My wife's brother died suddenly in 2020 (not Covid related but at that time). I had to drive from Sussex to Bristol in lockdown to collect his effects from the hospital and register the death (only to get a call on the journey from the registry office that for the first time in god knows how many years they would have to do that remotely on a telephone call). I still got his effects, but the whole trip down was surreal. Only one car parked at the Leigh Delamare services on the M4 and that was for the only staff member there...... I could almost picture tumbleweed blowing through.... As their mother had died and they had both been estranged from their father c. 35 and 20 years respectively, I decided to help my wife by helping to wrap up his affairs as she was clearly next of kin - in my mind. It was all quite sad as he was not in the best of health, in a lot of debt with a truly terrible debt plan someone had convinced him to agree to (if we had known about it we would have guided him to impartrial help and on first sight I would probably have told him to go bankrupt (that’s a whole different topic) When I cleared the room he was renting down in Bristol and pulled together as much paperwork as we could it was clear that there was no will, and so I cracked on with organising the funeral, talking to the debt company, speaking with the pension company, etc, and then at one point - I think it was the Co-Op funeral people - were asking about next of kin, I explained the situation and said we didn’t know if their father was alive but he would probably be in his 90’s if he was, and so it was clearly his sister. Turns out that we had to check, as if he was still alive it would be him, and he would be the person who would need to be doing everything I had started to do, and not me / my wife. I found that I still had had phone number and had to call them over 20 years after we had last spoken (a family fall-out) and indeed, he was alive and kicking. I then had to tell him the situation, that he was responsible for all of this and post everything up to him with a list of what I had done so far. Turns out that there was no nominated beneficiary on the brother’s pension so that could (in principle) have been allocated to his Father as next of kin despite them having had nothing to do with each other for decades. We were amicable about it all, the pension company wrote to my wife asking for details and then sent her the pension balance, and the debt company wrote off the outstanding monies and all got closed ok. Anyway, it just struck me that we can’t always assume that dying without a will means that what you think might happen, might happen – if that makes sense? I am sure you have everything clear Zero and the above would not apply to you, so this was not for your benefit, but was a life lesson for me and may be for others.... We had ours written when we got married and amended when our daughter arrived. They can be done quite cheaply, and again it made my life so much easier when my wife died recently, as a number of organisations wanted to see a copy of her will as supporting evidence (not heard of that before). Organising the wake for my wife was a worry. Just before Christmas! Where would she have wanted it held, who to invite, and hang on - it's just before Christmas. Everywhere will have been booked for Christmas work / family parties months ahead, and would we want to be in a building full of Christmas music and people in party hats? Good grief..... Luckily found a local hotel who has a suitable room and they were brilliant, but it was yet another thing to think about.... |
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New Thu 9 Jan 25 17:29
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Bromptonaut
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>> I am sure you have everything clear Zero and the above would not apply to >> you, so this was not for your benefit, but was a life lesson for me >> and may be for others.... We didn't worry about wills when we had no significant assets apart from a house owned as Joint Tenants and a few joint bank accounts. Now we've both inherited from parents we really need to sort things. If I drop dead tonight Mrs B and the both over 30 'kids' will have a hell of a job sorting stuff out via Deeds of Variation etc. But that won't help with IHT as we're not married. Been intending for ages to sort a Civil Partnership but neither of us have moved it forward. |
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New Thu 9 Jan 25 18:21
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Ted
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So sorry to hear your news SfD My ole mum died 30yrs ago this month. She would have been 112 on Saturday ! She left everything to me as her only son. But, apart from the house and £5K in the bank There was virtually nothing. I kept a couple of fancy plates, a jug and a small side table which I knew from childhood and was probably Victorian...but of no value. She lived a quite spartan life, ending up with 4 of each cutlery, 4 cups/bowls/,plates /etc. I gave all the other furniture away on free sites and left any white goods in case the next people needed them. All very simple to deal with ! Ted |
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New Thu 9 Jan 25 19:12
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - Zero
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>> >> I am sure you have everything clear Zero and the above would not apply >> to >> >> you, so this was not for your benefit, but was a life lesson for >> me >> >> and may be for others.... Like brompy, financially, IHT, and legally stuff is pretty clear cut. The house is in joint names. The bank account and investments is in joint names. My occupational pension has Mrs Z as nominated beneficiary, so strictly speaking a will is not required and IHT not involved, but details on how to access all this stuff is. hence, a will is not highly important. Strangely her bank account, her investments and her occupational pension only has her. A genuine case of Whats mine is hers, and whats hers is her own. Last edited by: Zero on Thu 9 Jan 25 at 19:14
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New Thu 9 Jan 25 22:23
Christmas Re-Arranged :-( - bathtub tom
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| I inheritednothing from 60 years ago (was an orphan). SWMBO and I have mirror wills that are quite simple to download online. |
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