A crap car is always a crap car, despite people trying to reinvent their image without the hindsight of experience.
Having said that, the referenced list is by no means the crapiest crap cars.
Last edited by: Zero on Mon 30 Sep 19 at 09:43
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I had two of the cars listed, an Allegro 1500 and a Vectra 2000.
In its day the Allegro was a cheap to buy and run second hand car. Mine had minimal servicing and needed no repairs in the couple of years I had it. Although I wouldn't make claims for its being in the top half of cars on sale at the time, it certainly wasn't at the bottom. The Vectra on the other hand was a new company car and easily the worst car I ever had. It had 20 faults in the 2-3 years I had it.
Having said that there was a black, de-badged Vectra V6 around locally until recently with subtle body skirts etc and it looked surprisingly good.
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>> Having said that there was a black, de-badged Vectra V6 around locally until recently with
>> subtle body skirts etc and it looked surprisingly good.
Ah we musn't stray into the field of style or form, (unless it creates a function issue). Taste can swing backwards and forwards over time with perfect validity. Function cant.
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Only one from the list I owned was an SD1 2600.
Engine was a shame - plenty of grunt and rumour was that the engineers could have it pushing out the 155bhp of the V8 but for obvious reasons had to cap it.
Good car for its time compared to Grannies and earlier Carltons* but as predicted mine went to the scrappy after tinworm and a HG failure made it worth more cubed.
*uglee images.app.goo.gl/p4kvVTfZbifVhfnW8
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>> *uglee images.app.goo.gl/p4kvVTfZbifVhfnW8
Yes that breaks several hard and fast design rules so is likely to always be ugly regardless of taste or trend.
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>>*uglee images.app.goo.gl/p4kvVTfZbifVhfnW8
That is ugly.
You never hear much about Royales and Viceroys. I had both and loved them both. And I thought they looked ok.
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I remember posting about the Ital a long time ago on HJ...
My ex-father-in-law had an Ital and after I gained his trust with his daughter, he used to let me use it (the car, I mean). Would have been around 1990. She's a Scouse, I'm a Manc and there were times when we needed to flit from Manchester to Birkenhead. Probably Christmas.
At that time I knew absolutely nothing about car handling and I'd driven various Peugeots, Fords and Rovers and that kind of thing. But driving that '83 Ital on the motorway was truly awful. Bad enough to drive it in a straight line, but to have to press the brake at speed, surrounded by other cars was truly frightening. Weaving, lurching and rolling. That was the day I learned about the chasis, the brakes, the suspension and the geometry and how it was actually quite important. And probably the tyres, too. All in 90 minutes.
I remember in '87 I'd had my first car, the 1979 Peugeot 505, I'd driven it all over the country with just a year on my license at well over 100 on motorways. Nothing phased it, or me. Then to drive a car that was four years younger but with embarrassingly appalling handling made me realise what BL really meant. Utterly shank.
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I think most cars around 1980 were pretty crap. Whereas today most cars are not.
I wouldn't say that the Marina was particularly crap, I had one and it seemed ok.
Not that I was the most discerning audience. And it probably also matters that I wasn't in the new or even the nearly new market.
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>>>>
>> I wouldn't say that the Marina was particularly crap, I had one and it seemed
>> ok.
>>
>>
I had two. The first was a four door saloon and that really was crap, but later on I had the two door coupe and that was quite a reliable motor and very cheap to run. Just over half an hour to change both front lever arm suspension units was good, though the lever arm units themselves were underwhelming in performance.
Sadly that one met it's end when a width restriction bollard jumped out in front of me.
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>> I wouldn't say that the Marina was particularly crap, I had one and it seemed ok.
I had a Morris Ital estate given to me once to use as a courtesy car while whatever Vauxhall I had at the time was in for servicing. Thought it was terribly slow and underpowered for a 1.6 litre engine. Then found out it was actually a 1.3. All things considered, for a 1.3 lugging around a massive estate car, it wasn't too bad after all. Quite comfy too.
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I had all of them except the lorry. Well I had the Cavalier, not the Vectra.
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Duncan I had a Cavalier Diplomat in 1992. It was reliable and well specced. The Vectra I had was a 1999 and, although it may have shared much of the Cavalier DNA, mine was a much poorer car in terms of reliability and comfort.
As I recall contemporary reviewers disliked the Vectra but had a soft spot for the Cavalier.
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I had one of the last of the cavaliers (1996?) it was loaded to the gunwales with optional extras to get them out the door in the face of the upcoming vectra. I drove plenty of them too, and in no way was it inferior dynamically to the cavalier, but was more modern looking. (the door mirrors tho were AWFUL - waste of time peering into them)
Last edited by: Zero on Mon 30 Sep 19 at 14:27
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Talking of the UK I didn't realise that the change over was as late as that (1995), but perhaps that's because the Vectra was widely available in the rest of Europe.
I had a J Reg Cavalier - 1991? It was a 2.0, I think GL, thought it could have been an 'L'. I really liked it. I put a great deal of miles on it, most of them with a roof full of surf boards.
A great car. Though a fairly unpleasant bright red colour.
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>> A great car. Though a fairly unpleasant bright red colour.
>>
I ordered a purple one and got a gold one IIRC.
The nomenclature was confused by the last Cavalier being a Vectra when it had an Opel badge
Mine was a 2.0 GL of similar vintage, really liked it and the 115ps 8 valve felt quicker than the 130ps 16 valve that came later.
Mine started creaking which turned out to be from a broken spot weld in the rear seat frame (saloon).
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>> >>
>> I had a J Reg Cavalier - 1991? It was a 2.0, I think GL,
>> thought it could have been an 'L'. I really liked it. I put a great
>> deal of miles on it, most of them with a roof full of surf boards.
>>
>>
I had a Mk1 1600, one of the nicest cars I have owned of it's day. Solid and reliable and a much nicer drive than it's Cortina rival. They looked good too.
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>> >>
>> I had a J Reg Cavalier - 1991? It was a 2.0, I think GL,
>> thought it could have been an 'L'. I really liked it. I put a great
>> deal of miles on it, most of them with a roof full of surf boards.
>>
>>
I had a Mk1 1600, one of the nicest cars I have owned of it's day. Solid and reliable and a much nicer drive than it's Cortina rival. They looked good too.
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>> I had a Mk1 1600, one of the nicest cars I have owned of it's
>> day. Solid and reliable and a much nicer drive than it's Cortina rival. They looked
>> good too.
Feast your eyes on this little beauty
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdycZHkZn3A
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I had one of those except it was the Sports Hatch. DMK 71V was a 2.0 GLS in the same metallic blue with the same blue velour interior. Bought from BCA Enfield at 3 years and 60,000 miles. Previously owned by Belling (cookers etc.) whose factory was just down the road. My favourite car that I've owned, for a 21 year old I thought it was the dogs. Probably drives like a dog too by today's standards.
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>>
>>>>
>> Feast your eyes on this little beauty
>>
>> www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdycZHkZn3A
>>
Now that is a stunner. If the Mk1 came off the production line today it would be haled as a major advance in auto aesthetics, it is such a clean and pretty looker. I love the dash, clear and well speced with no need for a 240 page handbook to tell you how some blasted menu system worked.
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>> with no need for a 240 page handbook to tell you how some blasted menu system worked.
>>
....took me some time to find the interior light switch, however, lost on a dark night in the centre of Walsall (don't ask).....
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>>>>
>> ....took me some time to find the interior light switch, however, lost on a dark
>> night in the centre of Walsall (don't ask).....
>>
It took me eighteen months. I thought it was some cheapskate cost cutting thing by Vauxhall not to have one, then one day when I was a little heavy handed with the rotary switch for the lights...
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>> I had a Mk1 1600.......
...so did I. A '78 2-door Saloon (not coupe) in red.
Remembered with much affection.
Caused a few double-takes in Germany as it looked like the Opel (Ascona) but with a much prettier front-end.
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Yep, me too, first company car I had was a 1600L mk1 Cavalier in a sort of flat custard yellow with tan checked cloth seats. Loved it. Went like the wind by comparison to anything I'd had before. Hated the colour but liked pretty much everything else about it until bits started to fall off it.
Last edited by: Runfer D'Hills on Mon 30 Sep 19 at 16:47
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Yes...I had a custard yellow 1600 ( cam in head) engine. Made in Belgium. It was my first car for a while after being solely on two wheels in my youff. I needed it to go "courting" as they said in those days...YBF *** S...sadly I have no photos of it - much loved car. Totally reliable. I think it must have been 4 or five years old when I had it, 40k on the clock and as solid as a rock.
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For` my first company car, I had the choice of a Mk1 16 cavalier, or a Fiat 131 estate........
I think I boobed.
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Old gits! far too young a discussion for me to remember (started driving 1999) but having read the article, the author Mike Humble is the current back pager for Car Mechanics who took over from Ted Connolly.
Late 80's one of the kids in my class, his dad had a Blue early model SD1 3500 we had a Fiat Uno 45 :(
Nothing on Allegros, but lots of Maestros in the family in the 90's. Used to love the sound of the councel diesel vans at full pelt
A pal had a 2.5 Vectra (quite the lad when youre 22) hooned it everywhere, let me have a very brief drive which was fun. Made a great sound.
Itals probably all gone by the time I started driving.
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>> Old gits!
....oi....less of the parliamentary language.....
....experienced gits, please....
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>> >> Old gits!
>>
>> ....oi....less of the parliamentary language.....
>>
>>
>> ....experienced gits, please....
>>
Aplolgies! But what a time to be driving!
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My Dad had a Fiat 131 (supermirafiori??) way back when, in Lord blue. How do I remember...? He was keen to tell me that the Fiat Uno I bought in 1992 was the same colour :)
Don’t remember him having a Mark 1 Cavalier, though do recall an Opel Manta Berlinetta (1.9? Again in a dark blue). There was one glorious year, 1984, when both my parents had beige Cavalier mark 2s. One hatch, 1.6L and an estate, a 1.6 GL. I learned to drive in the hatchback... Simpler times ;) He’s always played pretty safe with his car choices I think; certainly no shockers. Unlike my grandfather who, in the period I can remember, had 2 Maxis in a row, an Allegro, a Montego estate, and a Rover 216!!
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There used to be a book (Quentin Wilson?) of the crappest cars sold in UK. Pretty much everything my Dad had from 1959 to 1973 was listed:
Vauxhall Victor FA/FB/FC101
Simca 1500
Hillman Hunter.
They were though all 'firm's cars' - mostly estates as he had to carry samples and, in early days make odd low volume delivery.
After he retired it was Honda Accords all the way.....
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Aww, fond memories of my Hunter; the only registration number of any car or bike that I have ever owned that I actually ever learned - OGO276E. And that includes vehicles I own now, none of which I know the plates of.
White with red plastic seats and a 1725 engine. Pure class.
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I liked my Hunter GLS. It had wood door cappings. Not entirely sure it was tree wood, but it might have been.
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My folks had a 1979 Opel Ascona 2.0 when I was about 7. Biggest embarrassment was that it was a hopeless starter when warm. Benefits of hindsight it should have had a replacement carburettor!
Mum would pick me up outside school sometimes and the pantomime of prolonged cranking with the engine failing to catch would commence. When it did catch, it would generally stall several times whilst other kids laughed!
Started fine in dry cold weather, but hopeless on damp mornings, where we’d usually have to walk to school.
Very thirsty too. Four speed ‘box and I recall one time towing the caravan back from a family holiday in a head wind where it didn’t have the grunt to pull fourth gear and managed around 18 mpg for the journey.
Replaced by a 1983 Mazda 626 that had a manual choke which actually worked!
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The two best "fathers cars" of memory was a 61 Ford Consol Mk2 375. It had a top speed of 79 mph and 0-60 in 23 seconds I now note. Felt HUGE at the time, but it turns out its was only 30 cms longer than the wife new Fiesta.
The other was a '59 MG Magnette ZB Varitone. Fantastic interior, leather wood, some real bakelite. It was a rocket with a top speed of 86mph and 18 seconds 0-60.
Strangely the '59 MG came after the '61 Ford. The 61 ford died of tin worm long before the 59 MG,
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>> The other was a '59 MG Magnette ZB Varitone. Fantastic interior, leather wood, some real
>> bakelite. It was a rocket with a top speed of 86mph and 18 seconds 0-60.
Dad's Uncle Frank (his Mum's brother) who retired to run a tobacconist/sweetshop in Blandford Forum c 1958 had a similar Magnette. He later replaced it with one of the BMC Farina versions in a dark red/grey varitone. Must have been a Mark IV as it was on a C plate.
Similar to your description with wood and leather. Rode in it a bit in 69 when we stayed down there for a fortnight as Mum and Dad were in midst of house move. Certainly a nicer ride than Dad's FD series Victor!!
Uncle Frank kept it going until he died in 1976 and not sure his wife didn't use it for a bit after that.
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>> Uncle Frank kept it going until he died in 1976 and not sure his wife
>> didn't use it for a bit after that.
www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1149943
tempted tho not a varitone
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>> www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1149943
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>> tempted tho not a varitone
>>
A well used varitone varient is a regular visitor to a local Waitrose.
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>> I liked my Hunter GLS.
>>
Many moons ago got issued with a Hunter hire car in Ireland.
Came to open the boot and failed. The boot was full of all our cases and there were cross members behind the rear seat.
Got a scaffold pole and bent the boot lid open.
Got a replacement car and was told "They all have that problem! "
The plastic link between the latch and the key hole had fallen out.
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>> >> I liked my Hunter GLS.
>> >>
>> Many moons ago got issued with a Hunter hire car in Ireland.
Dad's Hunter was also a GL saloon KDT 332K. Quite similar to the GLS in trim but without twin carbs etc. but a higher performance (alloy head) 1725 compared with lower spec models like DL> It was an automatic and his first saloon after years of running estate cars. Was in a flat mid blue - possibly called Caribbean Blue.
Like many cars of its era (October 1971) it was showing rust within week or two of delivery. Was part of a larger order for various Hunters and Avengers for Directors and Reps in the company. Nearly didn't happen, apparently there had been Telex messages with Chrysler UK HQ to effect that if, much delayed, order was not fulfilled bt (dd/mm/yy) order would be cancelled.
Alternative was apparently a Peugeot 504 which would have been a much nicer prospect.
My abiding memory is that even as a 12-13yo I found the back appallingly cramped - no leg room as Dad kept his seat well back.
Ended up having an accident in it while on holiday in France. Touring and booking as we went along Dad looked at some village hotel near Limoges but decided it didn't meet his standards and drove off to look somewhere else. Unfortunately he drove off on left and 'collected. a Pug 404 coming the other way.
Hire car (Renault 16) was a great improvement on the Hunter.
Arriving back in Southampton we were given a UK hire car - another Hunter.
After a month or two driving company pool cars Dad the Hunter was replaced with a Ford Granada - there'd been a 'stuchie' in the company over cars after the MD upgraded himself to a Rover 3500 and other Directors wanted to 'catch up'.
Apart from a tendency, apparently carried over from the Zephyr/Zodiac, to overheat at drop of a hat, it was a much nicer prospect than the Hunter.
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Crap cars re-thought - Zero
