Spent the last 2 weeks dealing with the affairs of a relative.
The handling by authorities and companies varied from well managed to appalling.
1) Death certification and registration = 10/10, easily done.
2) DWP & Private pension 10/10 - that's how to do it. PP Co said leave account open
and we will pay full month - if you close it early the deposit will bounce and we pay charges and then have to send aa fraction of a month. The admin costs mean it is cheaper for us to pay a full month. 10/10
3) Funeral Director 10/10
4) Council 1 stop shop, poor then it got worse. tell them once and they inform al depts.
failed to tell their emergency button alarm bit, home helps.............
Today they took a direct debit for the emergency alarm. At the deceased's house a letter arrived addressed to the deceased. 3/10
4) After funeral the hotel 4* was reasonable - lack of staff to deal with 50 people coming in from the cold and serve them. Lack of staff - they laid off 10 x staff just after Xmas - on this scale more will lose their jobs as hotels are all about service. 6/10
5) Bank -40 mins 9/10- difficulty getting to branch on telephone - local number diverts to Edinburgh call centre and gets lost.
6) The winner in poor service by a country mile is VIRGIN MEDIA - Difficulty getting through on phone - made it at 4 th attempt. Failed to turn-up at appointed time slot, difficulties with 2nd appt but it is gone. Why did they win 0/10?
They sent a questionnaire "Why are you leaving us?"
Virgin has millions of customers - surely they should be able to handle a customer's death more efficiently.
Letter to Branson?
|
>>Virgin has millions of customers - surely they should be able to handle a customer's death more efficiently.
>>Letter to Branson?
>>
Certainly!
|
Sorry to hear that FB _ Inefficiency doesn't make the task any easier.
Government issued checklist here
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_10029808
|
|
Three years ago I had unexpected first hand experience of this (as some of you may recall) - Most of the systems worked well, two notable exceptions - LloydsTSB were useless and resulted in a complaint - stupid overdressed woman who told me the death certificate "felt" like a forgery. Useless advice and an all round useless cow. The other was the (surprisingly) the Coroners' Office, inept admin and uncoordinated staff otherwise a reasonably painless activity. Top marks to Smile (again) I was given a personal manager to handle events that concerned me along with free legal advice and support.....didn't need it but it was professional, slick and a very reassuring to deal with. Top marks.
Last edited by: R.P. on Wed 1 Feb 12 at 19:04
|
|
On the couple of occasions I've been involved, by far and away the worst were the banks. On one occasion the various family members turned up to a pre-arranged appointment only to be told the person dealing with it had gone on holiday and there was no-one else available - some had travelled a good distance.
|
|
There was a very substantial sum in the Current Account on the day I was interviewed by this woman, it was gone by the close of the working day. Customer retention - not. I even told them I was closing the accounts, they didn't even bother being nice to me. I was glad in a way that they failed so spectacularly soon after and had to be rescued. Sorry for the decent staff that lost their jobs.
|
>> There was a very substantial sum in the Current Account............... it was gone by the close of the working day. ......... I even told them I was closing the accounts, ........................... that they failed so spectacularly soon after and had to be rescued. Sorry for the decent staff that lost
>> their jobs.
>>
Blimey!
Just HOW much did you have in that account, to be able to bankrupt a bank?
|
Fortunately its been about 10 or more years since i've had to deal with the affairs of someone close.
In all cases so far, 4, i couldn't reasonably complain about any dept or person, everyone i dealt with were kind whilst remaining professional and went out of their way to smooth any wrinkles out.
Do i recall that Virgin took over NTL, maybe they kept the customer dis-service dept complete...i still have a severe hatred of that former company.
We have a small still family owned funeral director who handle any of our family's arrangements, could not wish for better.
|
I got good service from the bank, but the branch the deceased used was the same one I use - so it might make a difference.
No one would have been able to direct debit as I got the account frozen with one phone call although I did have to confirm it with a copy of the death certificate.
Inland revenue was the funny one for me. I had to do a tax return for the deceased - not too bad, but then they wanted money which he didn't owe. Was their error and my detective work not only saved the estate £1200 over twenty years ago, but the tax people were so embarrassed by the error that I got the person who should have paid the money not chased either... Don't think they'd do that these days.
|
4) The Council: Don't even go there - in the end severe ticking off of one person from someone in County Finance Department, which I only found out about months later, had that person removed from any contact with me. At the time I just knew that everything was sorted.
5) The Bank: Initially very poor. Arranged Appointment to show Death Certificate and sort out accounts/cards, I watched woman looking distinctly unbusy, then when she was told I had arrived she stared at me then sent a message via junior staff that she was 'too busy' to see me! Fortunately I knew someone in a neighbouring town, sent her an email telling her of my reception and she then sorted everything at her branch for me.
Credit card company owed grand total of £80. Had 6, yes 6, copies of the death certificate all at my expense posted to exactly the address they specified - the seventh was sent recorded delivery before they would accept they had received it ... felt left and right hand did not communicate.
6) The winner? Carphone Warehouse/Talk talk. Despite ringing them, writing to them and emailing them explaining just why it was so distressing after all this time, they still do it. They send stuff to my email address, they bill me, they write to me snail mail. They then start all communication Dear A, apart from the one email saying how sorry they were that they had mis-spelled my name, which was addressed to Mrs W. The next email? Dear A.
Oh yes, and Streamline.net, who took money from my account but refused to tell me what for or give me details so the owners of websites could get them updated. That is still on-going.
|
|
DVLA were awkward with a registration document "issue" - in the end I resolved in another particular way myself, but basically it involved adding another keeper to the car's history - which was plain wrong. I'm scouring my memory to find other examples of bad service but can't. A co-op bank branch (I don't have an account with them - Smile is a separate concern) provided me with multiple certified copies of the Death Certificate free of charge. I may remember something else in a minute.
|
>> Carphone Warehouse/Talk talk. .... after all this time, they still do it. >>
Easy to put a stop to it. Contact their chiefs. Google for their email addresses:
CPW's chairman Dunstone is also TalkTalk's chairman, and is one who is known to take action.
selfhelp.carphonewarehouse.com/SelfHelp/request.do?view()=c{e2359cf0-aad3-11df-d50b-f20203001e3d}
CPW's chairman is Roger Taylor, don;t know his record on such maters.
TalkTalk's CEO is Dido Harding, don't know her record on such maters.
|
|
Thanks, John. Will see what happens!
|
>Spent the last 2 weeks dealing with the affairs of a relative.
I had to do the same last October when Dad died.
Registrar in Sheffield was brilliant. Very sympathetic and professional, he was able to inform DWP, MoD and IRS there and then on his 'puter. Mum even received a letter from his old association (RAF Bomber Command) a few days later.
NatWest were total carp. Mum and Dad had a joint account that was in the process of being transferred to HSBC because NatWest were closing the local branch. Took certificates etc. and completed all the relevant paperwork at both Banks but NatWest kept refusing to transfer funds and give HSBC details of Standing Orders etc. It took three weeks and finally a threatening phone call to NatWest from the manager at HSBC to get things moving.
Two Insurance Companies involved. One was very easy to deal with and very efficient. The other, who had since merged with Sun Life FoC were a total PITA. It's taken three months of repeated form filling and Recorded Delivery, followed by a formal letter of complaint, to sort things out.
|
|
I had to deal with several insurance companies - all were OK, Aviva were by far the best, settled quickly and painlessly.
|
I've contravened the Naming & Shaming with that post I think.
Might need editing or deleting.
|
I helped a widow deal with the death of her middle-aged husband abroad in a non-English speaking country.
Repatriation of the body was a nightmare.
Getting all the documents and translations was a nightmare.
Dealing with most (with the few exceptions who were brilliant) organisations - and in particular insurance companies - was a nightmare.
The hoops that were required to be gone through to prove the death to them were all seemingly designed on the basis that a death abroad is to be considered a fraud unless proven otherwise.
Probate office and HMRC were the easiest to deal with.
p.s. The solicitor who was supposed to have stored the Will safely was one of the worst, he had stored it so safely that it took him a long long search to find it.
Last edited by: John H on Wed 1 Feb 12 at 20:59
|
>> NatWest were total carp.
I've just closed a child's account with them. Inept doesn't even begin to cover it. I'll not go in to too much detail on someone else's thread...but all it involved was a change of address....and an enormous amount of unnecessary aggro in the middle...inc at one point insisting on the account holder being present to ok the transaction, despite him being at pre school and only being 3 years old at the time and me named on the account as the adult.
|
I have had to deal with two: Father and MIL.
Both were relatively painless. Winding down my father's affairs was long and complex due to being at the depths of a market crash... ..
Banks, insurance companies , councils etc were no real problems.
Guess I was lucky.
|
Coutts win for us. 8 years after my gradfather died they still cannot tell us why they have a direct debit from my nans account for £15 a month.
Very stupid people.
|
in a sense i may be the lucky one.
i am told that due to brain tumour that i havent more than 12months left.
i have managed to liqiudate all my dealings into cash all nicely sitting in a safety deposit box and my wife has the key.
ive arranged the funeral with a nice indepentent funeral director and paid 2k already to cover some costs and he said in writing he wouldnt chase any extra payment due and would wait for my wife to contact them about any payments over the 2k owed.
all bills are now changed into my wifes name.
spoke to people at life insurance who said they would pay out before death if 2 doctors say i havent more than 2months left. so a nice lump sum from them and cash in bank will leave family being able to cope with the finaces easily
|
|
Takes some doing to say and arrange that - hope you find comfort with your family and friends in the time that remains. Make it count.
|
+1
Must be one of the most impressive posts we've had.
Best wishes, Nyx.
|
|
Best wishes from me as well.
|
A few years before his death my late father had a close call and after recovering produced a fairly complete set of paperwork to help me, come the day.
It was unsettling for me using the letters to notify all and sundry, GOK what the recipients thought, receiving a signed handwritten letter from the deceased.
|
|
IME the absolute worst were the banks and Equinity. The latter behaved as though they had never heard of death.
|
The latter behaved as though they had never heard of death.
What I find that Professionals in the field don't have any difficulties but worker bees at Banks etc do. I have to confess I used my late wife's death as a stick to beat certain organizations including the incredibly dull call handler at LloydsTSB, when I tried to settle her credit card account (all 75 quid of it).
|
|
Let me guess, Data Protection Act sir.........
|
I too arranged all finances, acct numbers, who to call,all on 1 sheet and all other details on another. 20 mths ago I thought the end was nigh - my dad got 6 months on his diagnoses for similar issues,,,,,,here I am 20 mths on "well and coping" within limits.
Another friend is ill and his pal died suddenly from the same problem. He has now adopted the 2 page "arrange all" for his family.
|
Just realised that I gave you a thumbs up there FB and then I heeded Focal Points lecture:)
Glad to hear all is going well for you and long may it stay that way.
Pat
PS Maybe there should have been an apostrophe in Points, but to those who think there should have been....it's the message that counts.
Last edited by: pda on Thu 2 Feb 12 at 18:08
|
thanks for the thoughts for me.
i have 3boys at 16/14/11 and so far they dont know im limited for time but have found a therapist that will help them as its her speciality in berieved children.
all letters aere written and trust funds set up for them so they can benifit in the future.
have given money to my parents and brother in case my wife isnt capable of managing the finaces.
|
>> thanks for the thoughts for me.
>>
Goodness your news put things in perspective for those of us moaning as usual about relatively trivial things.
Take my hat of to you for making all arrangements that you can as best you can, top man.
Like the others i wish you to enjoy the time with your loved ones.
|
nyx2k,
I'm glad you can post this on here. It never hurts to have a reality check now and again and snap us out of our 'own little worlds'.
Then there's the pluses involved in sharing it. We're not good at that in this country are we?
|
"...and then I heeded Focal Points lecture:)"
Thank goodness for that smiley, Pat! I'm sure you know I was speaking generally, not having a dig.
(For those who are wondering what the hell we're burbling on about, it's in another thread.)
|
>> in a sense i may be the lucky one.
>>
>> i am told that due to brain tumour that i havent more than 12months left.
>> i have managed to liqiudate all my dealings into cash all nicely sitting in a
>> safety deposit box and my wife has the key.
>>
I have to say, (and hope that I don't come over disrespectful,) but that is a refreshing, and wonderful way to look at such devastating news.
Many (most?) people would spend their last months crying about the awfulness of it, bemoaning the fact their time is coming far to soon.
May I humbly send you and your family my regards, and hope that your time left is everything you wish for, and more.
The only thing I will say, is think about letting the children know as soon as is possible, or at least spend as much time with them, and maybe create memories (DVD's included) for them to have something solid(ish) to remember you by.
|
when the waether is warmer im going to take one child at a time on holiday so they have something to remember. and then a big family holiday but doc says i should refrain from flying so will take the car to cornwall or somewhere in france which is a short drive.
ive been looking at x351 jaguars and have put a deposit on a perfect one in deep purple with full specs and only 30k.
im only 42 so its not fair but nothing i can do as tumour is in the wrong place to cut out and chemo only has a minicule chance of recessing the tumour.
i nearly bought a testarossa today but when i drove it i was thinking it felt slow and very dated and it was 20k so i changed my mind
|
>> ive been looking at x351 jaguars and have put a deposit on a perfect one in deep purple
Fantastic choice if I may say so nxy2k. At work over the past few months I've driven and delivered a number of new Jaguar Land Rover models and I can say that the latest cars are very fine machines indeed.
Your situation is a big reality check for me, I'm 3 years younger than you and with a similar spread of children. Through facebook in the last 12 months I've been informed of the loss of one friend from the past and the serious and ongoing illnesses of two others - all in their 30s. It's deeply heartening to see your pragmatic approach to future planning for your family and I can only wish you well.
|
...i am told that due to brain tumour that i havent more than 12months left...
Nick,
I know you are far from daft, but I hope your preparations for death take into account the possibility you will last longer.
Mate of mine was in a similar position and he be beat the doctors' time estimate by some margin.
Although it's only fair to add the tumour got him in the end.
|
i have still a small income coming in from i business i set up in the midlands, not much but 200 pounds a week ish
i have considerable cash stored in a bank safety box. with more stored at parents and siblings houses just in case of emergencies. the house is paid for and worth about 225-250k at the moment so all in all about 1/2 million that my wife can do whatever she wants with it.
it isnt invested as i used to do private investment for a few friends via a syndicate and was very good at it but the markets since november has been too volatile so i sold all the assets and gave everyone there money back which still yeilded 22percent for last year.
if i do live longer or even a miracle cure then i'll be ok for cash and not need to work for several years.
i hope ive thought of everything important. the worse thing i want to do is write each family member and good friends a personal letter but keep putting it off as its so hard to put into words (maybe i need a writer to help me)
the jaguar is ready tomorrow as i told them time was important.
mint condition and cream leather in deep burgundy paintwork with 30k on the clock and very good price so it should sell ok when the time comes as ill be the second owner i may get back most of the money but my dad said he'd buy it and agree a price with me before and not with my wife after im no longer around.
dont get me wrong i am terrified about what will happen to my family but with a lot of cash and a great brother and sister in stable relationships and my parents being wonderful prople since i can remmeber then the boys and my wife will have as much help as they want and need without my mum etc trying to take over.
|
...(maybe i need a writer to help me)...
Probably best in your own words, but let me know if you want it edited for typos, literals and grammar.
You can only provide for your family to the best of your resources and ability, both of which are considerable, and both of which you've done.
I'm not sure about all this cash lying about, but your expertise on the general topic of money far exceeds mine.
|
it may or may not be legal but i think that im ok because it is all money that was earned and declared for tax purposes.
most is in a bank box as i want the family to be able to get hold of it quickly if needed and my mum and brother and sister have 10k each if my family need it quickly for any reason.
the only request ive made is for a rolls royce hearse in the old style from the 60's or white horses and carriage.
the safety box key is with someone else who i can trust implicityly and will sow his face a few day after the funeral with a few quid in cash and instructions on how to get the money from my parents etc and money in the box.
one thing im doing at the moment is writing a not so small book on how ive managed to make 20percent returns on average in the last 15yrs with mine and others money by following a different route tha n i learned from the city that i sed to work around untul i went alone and took a few small investorswith me.
|
also i forgot to add that next week my wife and i are going to a therapist we both know to see what if anything can be done or said to make it easier on her and also on the family in general.
she is a therapist herself so she is capable of eraning enough to keep the children ok and well fed. the only thing ive asked of her is not to sell the house for a least a year to let her emotions setlle and not to move in a "specil friend" until the youngest is 16 si 5years isnt unreasonable i think. she was appaled at the idea but people need other people in different ways.
|
>> and not to move in a "specil friend" until the youngest is 16 si 5years isnt unreasonable i
>>think. she was appaled at the idea but people need other people in different ways.
Hmmmmm. They say the greatest flattery you can pay a recently dead spouse is to get somebody new in what seems almost indecently quickly. What can be worse than the idea that the still-living spouse relishes their new-found freedom and doesn't want a new mate.
5 years is forever when you're alone.
Are you sure it is fair to burden your widowed spouse with a request like that?. What about telling your children that inevitably there will be somebody new, special and they should welcome him.
|
Mapmaker, this made me smile!
I had two friends, both unexpectedly widowed in their twenties, with three small children apiece. Both met new partners within a year of the death of their husband, which worried me. My husband said both widows had made excellent choices in their first husbands, so what made me think they would have less judgement a few years down the line? He was right, one in particular has been a great Dad and now grandfather and has made my friend very happy.
My husband used to say that if you were happily married then you would probably meet someone again quite soon (indecently so, in the eyes of others). I used to ask him exactly who he had lined up as Mrs W2!
And yes, five years is forever. Actually, even 18 months can be.
|
...it may or may not be legal but i think that im ok because it is all money that was earned and declared for tax purposes...
I can't see any legal problems, although those who get the cash will be asked to account for it when they come to spend or invest it.
Presumably, they will have access to your paper trail and will which will prove the cash is 'clean' and legally held by them.
|
ive written letters for all those who have cash from me to say why and when it was given and the purpose it was given to them for.
it was an idea to give several poeple cash as you never know if one of them will swear he never was given the money etc which will coause a huge argument when im gone so i split it in a way thatif that happens it wont affect the final outcome too much.
the only thing i have done is set up trust accnts for the boys to mature when they are 23 and only my parents can access before this date as you never know if some scumbag would try taking advantage of the wifes situation and try and get money from her.
i think ive thought of everything but probabally not.
one annoying thing with this tumour is that i used to have excellent spelling and grammar etc but now i type faster than my brain will work so you lovely people wii have to decipher the words yourselves im afraid.
|
nyx2k,
Hope you dont mind but can I just thank you again for your offer of help a year ago, it was above and beyond. Your a true gent. It will never be forgotten.
Thankyou.
|
you are very welcome stu.
if you can make it to leicester every day there may be an opening in my valeting fleet. money not good this time of year though.
if you want email ask mods or use my user name plus at hotmail dot com at the end.
|
Thanks chap, but im moving away from valeting, im in a wheelchair part of the time atm, everything is failing at once so its all I can do to throw a few hours of work together each day before pain overtakes medication, im more of a burden than useful tbh, unless its quality control my eyes are still good :-p
Ive got a long slog of physio now to try and get the movement back, not to mention an especially bad bout of depression that I thought id beaten last autumn but apparently not, so Im just going to keep my commitments to existing customers and take my time.
|
>> not to mention an especially bad bout of depression that I thought id beaten last
>> autumn but apparently not,
Yeah, It happens when you buy a Perodua.
|
...It happens when you buy a Perodua...
I think it's a chicken and egg situation.
One leads to the other, but none of us know which was first.
Last edited by: Iffy on Fri 3 Feb 12 at 19:08
|
|
You've copped another scowly face Zero, felt obliged to even it up...humour helps the world go round.
|
>> You've copped another scowly face Zero,
What is it with some people?
Can't they handle the locker room humour?
|
|
I think some people find this a light hearted forum with matching banter but don't enjoy when it goes Frankie Boyle/Mock the Week level.
|
|
On balance its a fairly mild comment from Zero, but on the otherhand, depression is no joke either especially when its personalised.
|
Dealing with a person's affairs after their death - henry k
