Christmas trees....................................
Just got a 9ft christmas tree from this place local it's those that are not supposed to drop there needles as fast as the cheap thing, put the lights on and the trimmings and a few have dropped off the Dyson will eat them.
Watered the steel 3 legged frame bucket and the tree drinks water, my son who's 3 loves this tree god help me next year when i come to get rid of it there will be pine needles all over the room.!!
So what you getting down from the loft the fibre optic or the 1970's fold up thing or the smell of a real one in the living room.?
Off to get a tree for the garden tomorrow smaller one of this one so i can put lights on in the front garden in years to come. :-)
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Well I don't bother with one as I live on my own. Plus I can look out of the window and see a million huge chrismas trees for nothing.
However, one year when the kid came to stay I fetched one in. I don't think it dropped a single needle over the 2 weeks. I put this down to it being fresh. I think most of the bought ones have been standing around for ages after being cut, and the shock of a warm house finishes them off.
The suprising thing here, in the land of billions of christmas trees wherever you look, is that some people actually pay for one. Only in Sweden, where you can drive less than a km and pinch one from the side of the road, would people actually pay for one.
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My Mam always used to make up a bucketfull of gelatine dissolved in water and stand the Chrimbo-twig in it overnight, the tree sucked it up, and it set, holding the needles on!.
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When the tree is cut down it seals up at the cut so when it's bought they cut a bit more off then when home you water it, Then all should be fine.
Live alone and no tree come on it's Christmas get one up.
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Bah!
Humbug!
Signed: The Grinch.
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Two trees:
One cut at base : 1,5 metres tall. By door.Outside.
One with roots. In pot. 1 metre tall. Inside.
I see the Grinch is alive and green with envy at our tasteful and seasonal display showing us as a family with good taste..
Those with bad taste have 3 + metre tall trees plus lots of horrible lights and inflatable rubbish outside.. We go for an evening two hour tour every years to see the bad or good taste of others.. Beats a good film anyday.
Toodle pip,!
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Fake of course!
It has to match the rest of the Christmas season full of fakery and capitalist and commercialised drivel.
We normally put two up in the lounge and let the kids decorate their own tree.
Merry Bloomin' Christmas to you all!
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Real, got kids coming over. It will be about 6 to 7 foot, and I will cut two inches off the bottom to get to some wet bits, and it will live in a stand with water in the base.
Probably get it from the farm shop.
Last edited by: VxFan on Thu 8 Dec 11 at 18:51
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Fake...it just becomes a new cat toy anyway!
Pat
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Fake - picked up a nice 6' one from House of Frazer a few years back just after xmas. was something stupid like £120 but it was the last one in a bust up box for £25.
Always used to enjoy a real one, but FIL made me feel guilty moaning about what a waste to cut down a perfectly good tree for a couple of weeks enjoyment. Cant be bothered having the conversation each year so went fake.
Local news said that as it had been so mild down here the needles will all fall off the trees this year as they need a good frost to do something to them - think the guy said go to sleep???
Last edited by: VxFan on Thu 8 Dec 11 at 18:51
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Fake.
Wife does it all... (as i'm apparantly 'The Grinch').
When I was 'sad and single' for a few years, I had one permanently set up in my garage. I'd put a dust sheet over it for most of the year, then drag it out for Christmas, complete with lights, baubles, tinsel, everything...all left on it all year. Judging by the universal jip I got form everyone else, it's 'not the done thing' although I still can't see the problem.
I think I might be a bit like Karl Pilkington.
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I shall be fetching my 6ft+ tall fibre optic one down from the loft next week. It was a bargain a few years ago when a nearby DIY shed was closing down, price reduced from £50 to £10 IIRC.
I haven't really got the space for it, it goes in the corner in front of one third of the sofa and will almost certainly get knocked over at least once during its tenure.
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Change of mind, Nicole dragged me into a tesco, and they had 1/3 off artificial trees. Got a 7 foot bushy job - 70 quid knocked down to £46.20
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Bargain - you'll need a Volvo estate now so you can strap it to the roof !! :-)
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It fitted nicely in the Japanese shooting brake.
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Sort of double fake then.
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>> Change of mind, Nicole dragged me into a tesco, and they had 1/3 off artificial
>> trees. Got a 7 foot bushy job - 70 quid knocked down to £46.20
Just built the tree. It has 68 separate branches and two stems to assemble. Taken me two bleedin hours to build.
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And you`ve still to take it down and pack away - before building it back up again next year!!
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I just know there is no way its going to fit back in the box.
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Zero, Did you take the hedge trimmer to it and shape it like your steamers.
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I do not shape my steamers.
I did happen to leave some of the back branches off so it could fit in the corner tho.
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>> Fake...it just becomes a new cat toy anyway!
>>
Ditto chez Harleyman.
I will be making my annual trip into the loft tomorrow under the usual token protest, to retrieve wifey's hideous turquoise-blue tree and the boxes of carp which annually adorn it.
Bah!
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'salright for you. I've got to go to Delamere blinkin' Forest tomorrow to choose a ruddy tree. We'll queue to get into the car park. Wander round thousands of chuffing trees of all vaguely related breeds. We'll see one fairly quickly which would be fine but we'll have look at, handle, stand back from and examine most of them. Then it will be decided that the first one was indeed fine but will we find it again? No we won't, so more blasted trees will have to be examined. We'll fall out at that point because I'll lose patience.
A tree will eventually be selected. We'll queue to pay what was once a decent week's wage to me for the thing and put it in the car where it will shed most of its foliage. The inside of the car will resemble the Somme as all the mud and other crap from the forest floor transfers itself onto the carpets, door liners and seat backs.
Once home we'll discover that it is ( as I will have already predicted ) far too tall for our house. Joinery will then ensue to re-model the tree to fit...
I can't bloomin' wait....
Last edited by: Humph D'Bout on Sat 10 Dec 11 at 11:20
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^ Love it just like me.!!
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>>I can't bloomin' wait....<<
Better than being down the pub with the lads though, watching footie, supping some proper ale, and having a puff :(
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and having a puff :(
Why does he want one of them get a woman!
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Chav lights aplenty suddenly appearing on the houses round here. Twinkling faux icicles, "Santa please stop here" signs. Flashing chains of all hues. Yeugh !
Suppose I'll have to put mine up next week...
:-)
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>> Chav lights aplenty
>> Suppose I'll have to put mine up next week...
With a smart MB adorning your drive, one would hope you are not going to install coloured lights.
No, of course not...
:)
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...With a smart MB adorning your drive, one would hope you are not going to install coloured lights...
Doesn't the car already have them?
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Yeah - you only need to put the tree on the roof and its sorted. Perhaps a nodding santa in the back window,
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>> ...With a smart MB adorning your drive, one would hope you are not going to
>> install coloured lights...
>>
>> Doesn't the car already have them?
You know when I see the new Mercedes in the dark, with its lights on, I am immediately reminded of,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=55W2cFlGA3M
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>> Suppose I'll have to put mine up next week...
>>
>> :-)
And here is your guide Humph Griswald.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlX8jMtaIIM&feature=related
Last edited by: Zero on Sun 11 Dec 11 at 11:42
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>>And here is your guide...
Easily hung on mock Tudor, I would think.
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Just off to buy a real one. Hopefully there's still a cheap Norway Spruce to be had. Those no drop ones still do, cost twice as much and don't have the smell.
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Spruce trees, we got'em. But they are getting a bit tall now. Just take the top which kills the rest... but plenty more where that came from...
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House along the road has a small herd of illuminated reindeer in the front garden. For the love of Christ...mas ! Cheshire is "special" sometimes....
Pass the humbugs will you?
:-(
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>> House along the road has a small herd of illuminated reindeer in the front garden.
>> For the love of Christ...mas ! Cheshire is "special" sometimes....
you should live down this road..
" N Korea furious at South's Christmas lights plan
North Korea has warned South Korea of "unexpected consequences" if it lights up a Christmas tree-shaped tower near their tense border."
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-16129633
You want your new handle on here to be Kim Jong-il? we can call you dear leader if you like.
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I would much prefer a real tree as nothing matches the look and smell. Unfortunately, the only place we can put a tree in our living room is right next to the radiator so a real tree wouldn't last long at all. Plus, the dog is somewhat indiscriminate about what he does with his tail so regrettably it is a fake tree for us. Though, to be fair to Mrs B, she has made it look really nice.
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Is David Attenborough real or fake?
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doddery old git ! Filmed in a zoo in Holland and Zero's freezer !
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Is Zero's freezer that big? Or is it an illusion?
Looked like 20 acres to me...or was that the basement?
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I am not allowed near my freezer, don't have winter tyres on.
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Ended up faking it - went down to the local garden centre looking for a real one - 70 odd quid fro a Norwegian spruce - got a fake 6 footer for half price. Looks good with some flashing LED's.
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Everybody round here wanted £45 for a 5' Nordman - even the layby traders. However found a Garden centre that had some 'seconds' for £25 with alledgedly some damaged branches. Since everybody? puts them in a corner or against a wall, does it matter? No!
My Xmas cold started 3 days before the tree came, does it mean that it is all psychosomatic?
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Not another damned imaginary allergy! Sometimes seems virtually everyone I know claims to to be allergic to this or can't eat that. Ask someone to dinner these days and you get presented what a list of what they can't eat
With a few exceptions it all in the mind. A striving to make themselves "special'. Most people can eat anything. Most people aren't allergic to anything.
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Tend to agree CG. Although I think I may be allergic to dyslexics. Or am I just being a bit thick? Anyway, they bring me out in a harsh. I'm certainly worried that I may be anorexic, ( always thought that should have been anorectic but never mind, I digress ) every time I look in the mirror I think I see a guy who could do with losing a bit of weight...
:-)
Last edited by: Humph D'Bout on Sun 18 Dec 11 at 14:08
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You are simply suffering from dysanorexicphobia, a morbid fear of not being able to spell or tolerate anorexics. Have a mince pie.
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Aha !....
an·o·rec·tic (n-rktk) or an·o·ret·ic (-rtk)
adj.
1. Marked by loss of appetite.
2. Suppressing or causing loss of appetite.
3. Of or affected with anorexia nervosa.
n.
1. An agent that causes loss of appetite.
2. One affected with anorexia nervosa
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>> Most people can eat anything.
>>
In my childhood we were brought up to eat anything. At home we were allowed to refuse two items, food that we simply found too digusting to eat. One savoury, one sweet. Mine were liver, and pineapple.
But when eating in someone else's house we were brought up to regard it as grossly discourteous to refuse anything. When in Rome, eat as the Romans. There were no exceptions to the rule, on any grounds whatsoever - dietary, religious, "allergy", principle, or taste.
It was polite to ask for a smaller helping of a particular item, but tactful to offset that by showing particular enthusiasm for something else.
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Eat as the Romans?
Brian: Larks' tongues. Wrens' livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar. Tuscany fried bats.
BRIAN: Larks' tongues. Otters' noses. Ocelot spleens.
REG: Got any nuts?
BRIAN: I haven't got any nuts. Sorry. I've got wrens' livers, badgers' spleens--
REG: No, no, no.
BRIAN: Otters' noses?
REG: I don't want any of that Roman rubbish.
JUDITH: Why don't you sell proper food?
BRIAN: Proper food?
REG: Yeah, not those rich imperialist tit-bits.
BRIAN: Well, don't blame me. I didn't ask to sell this stuff.
REG: All right. Bag of otters' noses, then.
FRANCIS: Make it two.
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I prefer real, even if they are not so full bodied.
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>> I prefer real, even if they are not so full bodied.
>>
www.antibes.co.uk/inflatables/ok/
Last edited by: pmh on Sun 18 Dec 11 at 17:36
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they look like the ones Dell Boy was flogging
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I had one like that but she ran off with an inner tube...
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>> I had one like that but she ran off with an inner tube...
Tyred of you?
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I hear that inflation will continue and all are likely to go bust
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Reminds me of a joke....
....and Murphy said 'she let out an almighty fart and flew out of the window'.
Pat
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Eh, I made an apple pie the other day (like ya do) but I used 100% wholewheat flour instead of the usual plain white,
I also didn't add any sugar at all at all :)
So I thought I'd try it on my elderly neighbour first (season of good will n' all that) and, when I 'popped' into her 18th century farmhouse, low and behold she had a fully decorated xmas tree,
Nothing odd about that of course, being it's, well - Christmas, like, but .. the tree was a 7ft Holly tree!
Is that unusual, or what?
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>>elderly neighbour >>
>> she had a fully decorated xmas tree>>
>> a 7ft Holly tree!>>
www.specsavers.co.uk
;-)
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A holly in my front garden is one of my few gardening successes.
I bought it as an 18" plant, and it's now about seven foot tall, and several feet across at its widest point.
It's Christmas tree shaped, so would do the job.
It was too small for it's site when I bought it, and it's now a bit too big, despite modest pruning earlier this year.
That's gardening for you.
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Hollies respond very well to pruning. A good idea with a holly tree is to "raise the crown". i.e remove the lower branches year by year. You will then get a tree with a bare trunk and the foliage high up which you can approach without encountering the prickles.
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...You will then get a tree with a bare trunk and the foliage high up which you can approach without encountering the prickles...
Thanks for that.
The tree - and its partner of similar size - is performing guard duties, so is the right shape for the job.
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>> It was too small for it's site
That's not like you at all iffy - too much Christmas spirit? :)
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...That's not like you at all iffy - too much Christmas spirit? :)...
True, and thanks for pointing it out.
In the same spirit, Iffy has a capital 'I'.
Pass the sherry.
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>> In the same spirit, Iffy has a capital 'I'.
Yes, apologies - if I screw up my eyes enough I can see you're right. One of these days I'm going to have to start wearing my glasses... :)
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Your post illustrates why I am reluctant to write a piece for publication bemoaning the standard of written English.
It's almost guaranteed a mistake of some sort would slip through, making me look foolish.
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Fail-safe method: post it on here first.
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>> Fail-safe method: post it on here first.
...then we can google for it a few weeks later and discover who the great man is...
Last edited by: Focus on Thu 22 Dec 11 at 12:16
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>>then we can google for it
He could thwart you by using a pseudonym.
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>> He could thwart you by using a pseudonym.
>>
Like Iffy, for example?
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I committed a quite awful crime a few properties ago :(
We lived opposite the Eden project and there was a 20ft + Holly tree on our boundary blocking our view of sed Bio domes,
So I called in a Surgeon to give it a short back and sides but it looked so sad afterwards - I chopped it all down!
Neighb wasn't to happy, to say the least and I regret it now - we live and learn, sometimes.
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...Neighb wasn't to happy, to say the least and I regret it now - we live and learn, sometimes...
Your actions may have been tree vandalism.
But trees, like us, have a lifespan.
They benefit from management during that lifespan, and there's no reason not to uproot one if the situation warrants it.
Sometimes the deepest cut is the kindest cut of all.
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Holly trees can live over 300 years. Traditionally considered unlucky to chop them down which is why you often find a mature specimens in old hedges. Mind how you go Dog ;-0
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>>Traditionally considered unlucky to chop them down <<
Because they are the representative of the Pagan "Holly King" the traditional "Ruler" at Yuletide. The "other" important tree to Pagans is the Oak, representative of the Summer Ruler the "Oak King".
Also just for info! Mistletoe, can also grow on the Oak tree as well as more commonly on the Apple. Oak Mistletoe is fairly rare, and only found in a very few places in the UK. As far as the Druids/Pagans are concerned Oak Mistletoe is the "real-thing"!! and Oak trees that bear it are elevated with the title "Royal Oak" - nothing to do with the common misbelief that it was due to King Charlie hiding in one!
Last edited by: devonite on Thu 22 Dec 11 at 14:03
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>>and Oak trees that bear it are elevated with the title "Royal Oak" <<
There's a Royal Oak not far from here where I often feel elevated upon leaving ;}
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>>Mind how you go Dog ;-0<<
Gotta tell ya CG - I've been lucky since I chopped it down (up to now!)
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I like to go to the Eden project what is it like.?
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Boring scrubby old domes.
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Thanks>:) Better stop home.
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>>I like to go to the Eden project what is it like.?<<
There's one in Wales which may be nearer for you Dutchie.
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>> I (would?) like to go to the Eden project what is it like.?
>>
Disappointing - pop science presentation. Makes Blue Peter seem intellectual!
The physical infrastructure and setting is worth a look.
Last edited by: pmh on Thu 22 Dec 11 at 14:58
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>> Your post illustrates why I am reluctant to write a piece for publication bemoaning the
>> standard of written English.
>>
>> It's almost guaranteed a mistake of some sort would slip through, making me look foolish.
>>
It's never hampered you in the past!
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>> Your post illustrates why I am reluctant to write a piece for publication bemoaning the
>> standard of written English.
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>> It's almost guaranteed a mistake of some sort would slip through, making me look foolish.
>>
Easy answer.... in the preface put something like this...
''Within this book, I have inserted certain errors, it is down to you, the reader to discover how many, and where they are. Whilst there isn't a physical prize upon discovery, my gift to you is the errors themselves...''
Sorted - just think out of the box! ;-)
Edit... should that be '...are the errors .....' ?
Last edited by: swiss tony on Thu 22 Dec 11 at 14:24
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"Your post illustrates why I am reluctant to write a piece for publication bemoaning the standard of written English."
Too late surely - the arrogant smug and patronising Lynne Truss has already done that.
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The Norway Spruce bought 12/12 and erected in the house 16/12 was dead and dropping needles everwhere by today. Picking B junior up at lunchtime from an Air Cadet bag pack in Dav we swung by Homebase - big poster; all real trees £5.
Presents now under nice new Nordic Fir. The original price was nigh on £50!!
Helluva job sweeping up after old one - it'd not have survived tomorrow never mind the invasion of the neices on 27th.
Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Sat 24 Dec 11 at 21:57
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Ha- so you got it!!
Gary an Chesney on Corrie were wondering where the last one was!!! :-)
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my local b and q were giving away tress yesterday morning and giving away the stands that contain water vessels aswell.
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Real or fake...................................... - Dave
