There's a report on the BBC website today about the death penalty being carried out on a man in America. The caption under the photo says
"speaking before his execution, Mark Stroman described ..."
Yesterday on the Tour de France the commentator said "oh, and he's the crown in their jewel".
And at the last paralympics I actually heard the commentator say "and they've just put in a staggering performance".
Any more?
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My school magazine some years ago reported:
We learn with regret of the death of Bloggs minor, lost while exploring in the Arabian desert.
He read Geography at Lampeter.
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Excellent!
I just recalled the local parish magazine, that tells us what the Vicar's sermons are to be about.
It said:
This week: Walking on the Water
Next week: Looking for Jesus
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Some years ago a set of temporary traffic lights was stolen from some road works. A ?????shire police spokesperson said "Some people will stop at nothing"! So that's alright then!
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Please please not the stolen loo seat and the police have nothing to go on story!
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A football reporter I know once wrote: "Sunderland AFC changed tactics at half-time, reverting to a three-man back four."
Copy can become scrambled when dictating stories over the phone.
The same reporter tried to file: "The striker nonchalantly lobbed the keeper," but it appeared as: "The striker nonchalantly knobbed the keeper."
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The probably apocryphal:
schizophrenic kills himself with two plastic bags.
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Two heads are better than one ;-)
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There's a hole in the road...the police are looking in to it?
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According to today's Daily Mail:-
"500,000 people are expected to visit the Duchess of Cambridge's wedding dress at Buckingham Palace"
I wonder if the dress will say "Hello" to them?
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When Old Navy goes it might unbend a bit and say 'Hello Sailor'.
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I remember reading something many years ago about 'the fight against drugs being given a shot in the arm by a government grant.'
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>> Two heads are better than one ;-)
>>
You're never alone with schizophrenia.
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'The bride and her broom swept down the aisle.'
CORRECTION
'The reception was held at the Old Manse, not at the home of the bride's father as previously reported'.
It doesn't get much better after 50 years:
'Mr. Albert Smith and his wide Edith celebrated their golden wedding'.
'Dr. Huggins had 3,000 patients under his car'.
Unfortunately, C is next to V on a keyboard: 'The nuns were accused of violating their cows'.
Mum's sick note: 'My Paul won't be at school as he has a dire rear'.
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I like this one:
"In the 1632 edition of the King James Bible the omission of the word 'not' gave whole new meaning to the seventh commandment, appearing as 'Thou shalt commit adultery'. The printer of this error was fined £300 for his mistake.
Article Source: EzineArticles.com/2792064"
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" President Clinton denied having an affair with Monica, his intern....but he said he did splash out on a dress for her "
Ted
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Nobody seems to have noticed Avant's subtle but advertent change to the spelling in the subject line.
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>> Oh, the irony.
>>
Nah its lack of a speel chucker.
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I'd love to say I spelled the thread title incorrectly as it was a thread about misspelling.
But that would be a complete lie - I'm just thick is all.
I'll be off now.
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>> that would be a complete lie - I'm just thick is all.
Far be it from me to contradict your own self-assessment, Crankcase, but it is a fact that poor spelling, punctuation and grammar do not indicate low intelligence. They may accompany it of course, but they don't indicate it. Those are mere proofreader's skills.
By way of illustration, I am fairly closely related to a full professor who can't spell for toffee nuts and has to struggle to write decent prose. On the (arts) subject in question though, no slouch at all. There are many such.
I noticed the misspelling in the thread title of course. But I don't believe in faffing about stuff like that unless it compromises meaning. Not here anyway. Were you a grandchild of mine I would take a different line.
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Not a journalistic error as such but a certain electrical retailer has a section on their web page titled "What's Hot". There was a Beko fridge right above the title last week - it was changed very quickly....
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A local firm of TV Ariel installers used to boast "The best erections in town" on the back of their vans, they don`t now though! often wonder if the PC police intervened!
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"often wonder if the PC police intervened!"
They had to change it to "second best" after I turned up in town.
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Nottingham Evening Post, or may be the News, I can't remember which - many years ago- "Fuchs off again"
(Sir Vivian Fuchs, Polar explorer, in the news)
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>> They had to change it to "second best" after I turned up in town.
>>
Turned up! Mine's straight.
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One of the modern version of the Bible has St. Luke say:
'(The shepherds) found Mary, Joseph, and the babe, lying in a manger.'
All of them? So our zealous sub-editor strikes out the commas.
'(The shepherds) found Mary Joseph and the babe lying in a manger.'
They're still all in the manger.
Naturally the Authorised Version gets it right:
'(The shepherds) found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
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I was reading the obits in the Manchester Evening News some years ago when I came across....
' May the gentle light from heaven s***e upon his soul from above '
Whoops ! Ns and Ts mixed up there. I'm sure they meant ' shine'.
I wonder if the family got their money back !
Ted
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>> I wonder if the family got their money back !<<<
Why? Maybe it was just the last opportunity of expressing their true wish!
Last edited by: VxFan on Sat 23 Jul 11 at 19:40
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Speaking of death notices, one appeared in which the 'm' in the phrase 'sadly missed' was replaced with a 'p'.
A fulsome apology followed, as did a steward's inquiry at the newspaper.
An inside job was suspected after it emerged the deceased was an irascible old drunk.
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From the late Brian Johnston:
"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"
I suspect it is an urban myth!
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>> From the late Brian Johnston:
>>
>> "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"
>>
>> I suspect it is an urban myth!
>>
What the BBC says and many other TV and Radio Sport's Howlers plus "isms"
www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A6564341
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'He just didn't quite get his leg over' - in a similar vein: www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk&feature=related
And 'It's not easy putting a rubber on' : www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzaNAgIbvsM&feature=related
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>> From the late Brian Johnston:
>>
>>
>> "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"
>>
>> I suspect it is an urban myth!
I suspect it is, no-one has produced a clip of it so probably does not exist.
This does however, the famous "leg over" moment
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ&feature=related
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Charlotte Green's famous "Cross flannel cherry"
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Yesterday's I Paper carried the following in its travel section:
'Virgin to Investigate Cockpit Intrusion"
The Sun would have been proud of that
Last edited by: CGNorwich on Sat 23 Jul 11 at 13:52
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Two recent headlines from bbc.co.uk, including one about the "speaking cock".
www.theregister.co.uk/2011/07/22/bbc_phone_hacking_headline_fail/
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>> One of the modern version of the Bible has St. Luke say:
>>
>> '(The shepherds) found Mary, Joseph, and the babe, lying in a manger.'
>>
>> All of them? So our zealous sub-editor strikes out the commas.
>>
>> '(The shepherds) found Mary Joseph and the babe lying in a manger.'
>>
>> They're still all in the manger.
>>
>> Naturally the Authorised Version gets it right:
>>
>> '(The shepherds) found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
Ah - the Oxford comma surfaces again!
Last edited by: Roger on Sat 23 Jul 11 at 17:26
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From the Expatica.com news headlines this morning:
French channels to broadcast live women's football
Shouldn't be too boring then...
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Many years ago on The Food Programme on BBC2 Jilly Goolden was eulogising about fresh apple juice and said " I'm getting the soapy taste of cox. "
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Many years ago, the cook Fanny Cradock made some little cakes on TV, and her husband Johnnie said to camera "and I hope all your cakes turn out like Fanny's".
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www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-14425779
I guess that Cardiff City Council must have employed someone to count them.
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For 'draft report' read 'daft report'.
Why should numbers increase in Cardiff because they are going down elsewhere (which I find hard to believe)? Can you get a cheap coach ticket?
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On our local freecycle a month or two ago..
'Offered: electric chair, suitable for elderly or disabled'
Made I laugh.
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Cartoon in current Private Eye of the electric chair, with condemned man scowling and puzzled officials standing around looking annoyed. The man from the electricity company is suggesting with a silly grin: 'Have you tried turning it off and then on again?'
That made me laugh.
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>> 'Offered: electric chair, suitable for elderly or disabled'
Free plug?
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I'm amused by the ambiguous phrase seen, for example, in the title of this advert. It's a phrase you see quite often in the classifieds.
www.ubermpower.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=1384
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Inadvertant reporting - Cliff Pope
