| Non-motoring > Kids and Concerts | Miscellaneous |
| Thread Author: Bromptonaut | Replies: 25 |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:21
Kids and Concerts - Bromptonaut
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I’m not on mums net so I’ll ask this one here!! B junior is 16 & has a developing interest in music. Not confined to the carp from today’s artists; his tastes extend to classic rock/metal artists including Led Zep, Floyd & Motorhead. He wants to go to concerts in London or Birmingham – we live near Northampton. No problems with him travelling alone. He’s been on trains into London several times a year as long as he can remember. He’s confident with the Underground, buses and a taxi home from the station. My issue is with venues and locations. He’s been to Wembley with daughter’s b/f and alone to the Royal Albert Hall on a couple of occasions. They’re big venues, lots of other folks there who’ve paid enough to be sure they’re committed not just out for the night. These places also have well defined exit routes through safe areas and with safety in numbers when the event finishes. He now wants to go to hear a band at a club venue up a back jigger off Charing Cross Road together with a female friend from school. Not a date just a shred interest The place has a capacity of 300 (standing) and admission is less than a tenner. The sort of place youngsters go after work with a good band incidental to the drinking and socialising. It’s on the fringes of Soho in an area where sex shops proliferate. The nearest tube, Tottenham Ct Rd Northern Line being closed, is Leicester Sq. His Mum and I said no to this one. I don’t think it’s a part of London where two 16yo should be 70 miles from home at 11pm. He’s a bright personable lad but I’m not confident he’s sufficiently streetwise to cope with any potential hassle either in the venue or outside. Dad’s now bottom of the Pops!! How do other parents deal with this sort of thing? |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:25
Kids and Concerts - RattleandSmoke
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| The venue will most likely to be an over 18s one anyway - problem solved :) |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:28
Kids and Concerts - Mapmaker
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| Brompton, this is only round the corner from your office. Work late and take him. Top of the Pops! |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:33
Kids and Concerts - Alanovich
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| I'd say go to London that same evening, to a show/concert/pub/whatever floats your boat. But try not to travel on the same trains in and out as your son. Just to be in the same neck of the woods, but without cramping his style. The friend from school need not know, although her parents may be grateful for your consideration. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:41
Kids and Concerts - Robin O'Reliant
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Being a good parent is not always the same as being a popular parent. There are times you have to say no for someone's own good. It's later in life he'll appreciate it. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:45
Kids and Concerts - RattleandSmoke
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As I said my experience of concerts in clubs is they are often over 18 anyway with strict ID. I've hung round the rock clubs near Charring Cross before and never had any problems but then I am not 16. It can get quite seedy and even if he gets in he might find it a bit rough. I've come back with many bruises as a result of mosh pits in club venues. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 11:52
Kids and Concerts - Bromptonaut
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Had hoped age policy might give me cover but unfortunately not; over 16's are allowed. The mosh pit aggro stuff is part of my concern as well. As MM says it's round the corner from where I work and I biked over yesterday to check out the site. If it was his first time in London and at a proper concert hall I might do the 'loiter off'. But but even being a few hundred metres away is to far if he's getting hassled. Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Fri 10 Jun 11 at 11:53
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 12:10
Kids and Concerts - Mapmaker
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| Isn't that the date that BBD is in town? I'm sure he'd look after the young floosie! |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 12:11
Kids and Concerts - Zero
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My lad went to see some band (think it was yellowcard) at the Brixton academy when he was 14 with a friend, the friends father drove them and picked them up, but didnt attend the concert. It entirely depends on the child of course, but I consider it part of the learning and growing up process. Friends have allowed daughters to camp at reading at 16 years of age, and again they have survived ok. Parents are over protective, but I appreciate its a fine line to walk. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 12:30
Kids and Concerts - spamcan61
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>> >> It entirely depends on the child of course, but I consider it part of the >> learning and growing up process. Friends have allowed daughters to camp at reading at 16 >> years of age, and again they have survived ok. >> >> Parents are over protective, but I appreciate its a fine line to walk. >> Spammette Major camped at Reading at that age, as part of a group though; went to plenty of gigs aged 15, although mostly bigger venues. As an 18 year old I was going to gigs at the old Marquee club in Soho on my tod, not sure if I'd let my 16 year old do that though. Really does depend on how wordly wise they are for their age. swear filter kicked in. Hopefully Marquee was the word that was omited? Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 17 Jun 11 at 01:04
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 13:26
Kids and Concerts - Dave_
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Bromptonaut, My eldest daughter is 3 years younger, so I can’t speak from direct parental experience. Yet. What time is the gig from and to? Could you allow them to go, but specify they are back at Euston by 10pm or 10.30pm for example? As it’s 16s-and-over the security there will be very much geared towards the protection of the younger members of the audience in all aspects of the night. What are the girl's parent(s)’ thoughts? At a similar or slightly older age I wasn’t very “streetwise”. My friends were into rock music and two or three of us used to go to the Astoria (when it was a rock club, not a gay one!) usually via a warm-up gig at the Royal George in Goslett Yard first. We’d get the train down from Sandy and get the last train back at 10.30pm. I never had any problems in central London, I just made sure I stayed away from strange looking people (easier said than done at a rock venue!), stayed with my group and kept my wallet securely in the depths of my pocket. The existence of sex shops in the immediate area was a source of amusement but not something we investigated at all. I appreciate that much has changed in 20 years, however I should think that Bromptonaut junior would be as keen as his dad to incur no trouble on such an evening out. I should also think that he’d be mortified if not offended at the thought of being “tailed” into London by his parents. Not much can happen to him on a night out in London that couldn’t happen to him in Northampton, of that I’m pretty certain. Last edited by: Dave_TDCi on Fri 10 Jun 11 at 13:28
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 14:39
Kids and Concerts - Armel Coussine
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Why do you expect him to be hassled Bromptonaut? The rest of the audience will mostly be people like him and his friend. When my eldest grandchild was 15 or 16 she had a band with some friends, mostly girls. That was just a couple of years ago. They played a gig under the motorway just by Portobello Green, at a venue quite often used by rap bands and the like. Indeed the nipper's band was the B-side turn for a bunch of much older and tougher boy teenagers. Being locals we couldn't resist sidling in to catch them discreetly from the back. Discretion wasn't needed however as they dedicated a song to the blushing geriatrics. They were utterly sweet, had a whale of a time and were petted and treated kindly by everyone. If you're anxious about them, why not say you're working late and arrange to pick them up, fine-tuning if necessary by mobile? Should be possible to do that without seeming intrusive or faffing. I do sympathise though. One does worry about them even when they are in their forties. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 15:21
Kids and Concerts - Bromptonaut
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I don't think I'd put it as strongly as expecting them to be hassled AC just that the possibilty was on my mental risk assessment. Leicester Sq/Soho is one of those bits of London I've never felt entirely comfortable around even after 30yrs working in WC2. Don't really know the girl or her parents but I think her presence adds to the risk. I feel an uneasiness that wasn't there the other week when he went alone to see Clapton at the RAH. There's also perhaps a need to remind him that there are still boundaries and this was a good place to draw the line. Another year older and I'd jump the other way. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 15:30
Kids and Concerts - Iffy
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I'm erring towards Bromp on this one, much as his 'What about this and what if that?' attitude often frustrates me. :) I would be comforted by the fact the West End of a night is much safer than Tottenham or Tooting. And I disagree Bromp being a few hundred yards away is not a decent safeguard, it is, not least because the lad would be accompanied on the journey, which probably presents the greater risk. My suggestion would be to turn it into a family outing, but be open about it. Tell the lad he can go, but mum and dad are going to come along and have dinner somewhere while he's being deafened in the club. He may still complain about his style being cramped, but you could even part and meet at Euston, so he has most of the time away as he wants it. Were I 16, and were the choice doing it dad's way or stop at home, I think I would do it dad's way. Another option is to ask the girl's parents if they want to go along, although I apprehend Bromp will not be happy sitting at home that night, whoever is with the lad. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 15:54
Kids and Concerts - Bromptonaut
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The journey's not a risk Iffy. We still have conductors on the trains and in 20 years daily travel, including my share of late nights, I've never seen anything kick off on board. Terminates at Northampton so overshooting the stop is not possible. The Northern line has the odd objectionable drunk but no real problem. I still question the value of 'loitering off'. I'm also reluctant to stay in London 'til the act finishes at 23:00, get a train home that stops at every thick tree after Watford and then go back the following day to work. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 15:56
Kids and Concerts - RattleandSmoke
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He will probably get hassled by drug pushers and touts and all he needs to do is be polite with them, it is the same with the homeless people. If he stands at the back of the venue the moshing won't be too much of a problem it depends on the genre too. I find indie gigs tend to be quite polite but you get problems with arrogant drunks (e.g oi what you banging into me for) where as ska gigs tend to be more friendly but the moshing can get extremely violent. Been to many punk gigs which are usually in-between the two and it is always the old 50 year old nazi types which cause all the trouble in these gigs. I remember the Sex Pistols gig at Brixton Academy was full of grown men causing trouble acting like thugs and they really should no better. They were not punks they were just scroats. PS If you really want assurance there is an Inbetweeners episode where 17 year old geeks go to a gig for their first time. Watch that and you will release there is nothing to worry about. Are the band playing in the country again sometime? I wonder if he can see the gig else where? Last edited by: RattleandSmoke on Fri 10 Jun 11 at 15:57
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 16:08
Kids and Concerts - Bromptonaut
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He's not short of gig experience Rattle. Went to Wembley last year for some mega band I cannot remember - his sis's b/f went with him. He's been to another current band at the NEC - I lent sis's b/f my car so they could drive to that one as the last train was too soon. He's seen Clapton & Winwood at the RAH (alone) and he's seeing the Foo Fighters at the MK bowl next month with mates. His Mum and I just felt uneasy about the location and type of venue on this occasion. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 16:14
Kids and Concerts - spamcan61
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>> He will probably get hassled by drug pushers and touts and all he needs to >> do is be polite with them, it is the same with the homeless people. >> Having been to over a thousand live rock gigs, many at such salubrious venues as the Bouncing Ball Club Peckam and the Woolwich Tramshed, I don't recall ever being hassled by a drug pusher. Only saw 3 fights for that matter - and one of those was a band member sorting out a heckler :-)* Only time I was ever physically threatened was by a bloomin' bouncer! * Dumpy's Rusty Nuts at the Oxford Pennyfarthing. Edit: Ok did get hassled by touts now and again, but that was generally bigger venues likes Hammersmiff Odeon, not 300 capacity venues. Last edited by: spamcan61 on Fri 10 Jun 11 at 16:16
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 16:39
Kids and Concerts - Old Navy
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>> I would be comforted by the fact the West End of a night is much >> safer than Tottenham or Tooting. >> I don't know about the West End these days, but Mrs ON is from Tooting and myself from nearby. I would not live in that area now at any price. The quality of life is dire. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 16:45
Kids and Concerts - Zero
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| You could have said that about brixton 20 years ago. Now its actually a lively social place to be. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 17:04
Kids and Concerts - Armel Coussine
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Look, there probably are back alleys where people shouldn't hang about looking lost, and there always were. But all this stuff about 'dangerous areas' and being 'hassled by drug pushers' is mostly faffing hysterical poppycock. The fact is that dangerous areas aren't dangerous and being hassled by drug pushers only happens to people looking for drugs. It is very unlikely that anyone will be singled out and picked on by tough nasty people. It can happen. But there are ways to minimise the risk. Essentially this means you shouldn't wander about looking lost in quiet, shady areas but always look as if you know what you are doing and where you are going even if you don't. When in doubt, head for a main road or place where there are more people. There's safety in numbers. So all the West End where the clubs are is safe by definition. Don't form instant friendships with those who approach you in quiet places, but keep moving and display courteous reserve. Trust your gut reactions and don't allow social embarrassment to suck you into trouble. In any case most people, even the criminal and drugtaking classes, aren't really nasty at all. That was my first impression on coming to London aged 19 to live in an area my parents looked at with grave apprehension, as did everyone else's parents. Now I am a recognized although not prominent elder face in that same zone after all its changes. Sometimes hooligan whippersnappers I don't recognize greet me in the street, children or grandchildren of my fellow hooligan whippersnappers of yore... Sigh. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 17:21
Kids and Concerts - RattleandSmoke
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Twice when I've been hanging round the West End trying to find the rock venue I have been asked if I wanted drugs. It wasn't a problem as I politely said no and that was the end of it, but it does show that that part of London can be a bit seedy. Not a problem when you're 28, but when you're 16 it is a bit of a different matter. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 17:24
Kids and Concerts - Iffy
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I was propositioned by a prostitute in Shepherd's Market, Mayfair. Broad daylight it was, middle of the afternoon, too. I declined, partly because I knew I couldn't afford it. |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 17:24
Kids and Concerts - Armel Coussine
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You were probably chewing a straw and had forgotten to change out of your smock, clogs and cloth cap Sheikha. It's easy to forget these things. :o} |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 18:35
Kids and Concerts - Armel Coussine
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'Our Ernie - Mrs Entwhistle's little lad.' Chapter and verse anyone? :o} |
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New Fri 10 Jun 11 17:26
Kids and Concerts - Mapmaker
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I agree with AC. I don't go to "concerts" of the sort Master Brompton does, so cannot comment on that point, but I find inner London a very safe place to be. (If you're black and in a gang, then you may very well be killed, but if you're not then you are unlikely to have any trouble - certainly if you're sober-ish.) Unlike "friendly" places like Manchester where the locals might talk to you, people generally ignore you, so you can sit on the tube with a face pierced beyond recognition, or wearing a dress (as a chap), or in hunting kit and nobody will say a thing. |
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