A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research,
"MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine..
2. Put down your car window..
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16.. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup..
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22.. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Hand Brake.
Remember! A lady sent it to me. She was laughing, too.
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Almost as hilarious as when it first appeared circa 1999 ;-)
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It also applies to many women drivers attempting to obtain a car park ticket from one of the machines at our local hospital....
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>>>Almost as hilarious as when it first appeared circa 1999 ;-)<<<
Tehe! I remember it now I've had me medication (black, no sugar) :-D
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Items 16-21 in the female list are dodgy. If you take too long to pull your card out the machine smoothly withdraws it, and you can't get it back until the bank opens next day.
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i would only add opens door to retrieve receipt on floor and puts long 4inch dent in door skin
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I make no comment, but you lot are in sooo much bother when Pat comes along !
( Unless she's at the cash machine, of course. )
Ted
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Tickled me for sure, very funny.
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I'm here and I'm reading it, and I have decided to rise above it!
I feel safe in making that decision since there is another thread on here about a MAN who can't lock his car doors from the inside..........................because he didn't read the manual:)
I bet he's even had a chuckle about this thread too!
Pat
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>> A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
>>
>> 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines .........
I hope my bank knows better than to say "ATM machines" ~ that means Automated (or Automatic) Teller Machine machines! www.all-acronyms.com/ATM
;-)
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>> 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines .........
>>
>> I hope my bank knows better than to say Drive- through as all the one I have used is drive alongside. :-(
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Drive THROUGH in Hatherleigh north Devon a few weeks ago. Nicked the machine by all accounts!!
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...Drive THROUGH in Hatherleigh north Devon a few weeks ago. Nicked the machine by all accounts!!...
Martin,
Hope they didn't nick your JCB to do it. :)
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>> Hope they didn't nick your JCB to do it. :)
>>
I have never owned a JCB M'Lord. Well not now anyway!!
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Same as PIN Number........gives me the irrits but I use it like everyone else in the world !
Ted
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Male. vs. Female at the ATM machine. - Robin O'Reliant
