Non-motoring > Sheep aren't stupid says prof	Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Tooslow	Replies: 60

New Tue 22 Feb 11 16:16   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Tooslow

Professor Jenny Morton from the Department of Pharmacology at the University of Cambridge says "Our tests showed they can do what is known as executive decision making". www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-12521541 Executive decision making eh? Sounds about right. John Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 16:31   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

Managers are people promoted to their level of incompetence. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Tue 22 Feb 11 16:33   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Focusless

>> Executive decision making eh? Sounds about right. "In a more complex task the sheep had to learn where the food was according to coloured shapes and were able to learn the new rules within 32 attempts." QED :) Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 16:47   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

My labrador can find food in .32 steps. That makes a dog 100 times brighter than a sheep (or my ex manager) Still sounds right to me. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 19:17   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Perky Penguin

Or so the sheep said when they were asked Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 19:47   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

We had a sing song in the pub on Sunday one of the songs was a Welsh poem about the sheep from the other valley (Ogwen) and how wise they are. The sheep in this valley are pretty dumb - even by sheep standards. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 19:48   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Zero

Great darts team tho. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 23:38   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Armel Coussine

Those spivs were lining up eating grass and making cleft hoofprints in the wet, muddy croquet lawn again today. Later they resumed their usual positions leaning against the corners of the house with their legs crossed smoking cigarettes and looking sideways through narrowed eyes. Damn yobbos. We did eat rather a good leg off one of their friends a couple of hours ago though. Perhaps they aren't all bad, especially with a bit of jam and gravy. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 22 Feb 11 23:44   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

That's almost as funny as BBD's top hat and stick routine. Those sheep will have migrated from Wales and stolen the locals' jobs. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 06:54   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Perky Penguin

Conjours up a marvellous picture AC! Jam with lamb? What is that about - mint jelly perhaps? Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 11:58   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Armel Coussine

Some sort of red jelly. One might have it with venison too. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 12:10   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Perky Penguin

Cranberry by the sound of it, I haven't tried it with lamb but an experiment might be worthwhile! Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 13:00   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - DP

They are stupid enough that you can fly a microlight over a field full of them at about four feet, zigzagging from side to side, climb out, and see a perfect trace of the route you just took across the field. Allegedly. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 13:06   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Tooslow

Well I'd get out of the way if you did that to me so I don't see how that makes them dim. John Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 13:25   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - DP

Not so much that they get out of the way. The fact they run four feet and then stop. And don't move again. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 13:23   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Perky Penguin

Or red currant I suppose! Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 13:38   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - CGNorwich

Cranberry is what Americans eat with turkey. Red currant sauce or jelly is traditional with venison or lamb. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 14:07   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Perky Penguin

Thanks CGN - I thought cranberry didn't sound right, but before I could edit it innit?! Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 17:41   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

teamdolly.co.uk/sheep%20spain.jpg AC's sheep. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 18:02   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Iffy

Sheep aren't stupid say prof. Then another professor says the same, and another one, and another one.... Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 18:39   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Old Navy

And before you know it you are taxed for sheep, (sorry, the global climate). Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 18:39   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Armel Coussine

>> AC's sheep. Heh heh... spot on for the behaviour, but the ones here aren't innocent and bucolic looking like those. They have a narrow-eyed racing-fraternity look about them. They wear nasty cloth caps and hold their butt-ends between thumb and forefinger toerag style. The cloven hoof is made for that. Did you do it yourself PU or just find it somewhere? In the interests of strict accuracy, I would remind you that they aren't my sheep. They just think they own the place. Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Wed 23 Feb 11 at 18:42 Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 18:55   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

No it was on the website of a group I'm interested in helping out with. Get out into the fresh air, rain, snow, mud and sheep pooh...! Seems more interesting to walk with a purpose without having to carry golf clubs ! Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:28   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Runfer D'Hills

None of our business of course PU but it has to be said that you having only lived in Wales for a while you do seem to be taking an uncommon interest in sheep...Suppose there isn't a great deal else to do but y'know it should be a bit of a worry shouldn't it? Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:32   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

I'm 1/16th Scottish. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:35   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Runfer D'Hills

Ah, no foreplay then? Brace yersel Agnes... Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:36   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Iffy

...I'm 1/16th Scottish... Fifteen out of 16 ain't too bad. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:37   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

I just worry where the other 15 came from ! Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:59   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Perky Penguin

There are 9 sheep for every person in Wales which puts them in a considerable majority. Lucky they don't have the vote perhaps? Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:00   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Zero

>> There are 9 sheep for every person in Wales which puts them in a considerable >> majority. Lucky they don't have the vote perhaps? Its the only thing raising the IQ of the country. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:00   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Runfer D'Hills

Careful Zero, PU might bah you... Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:04   Penguins aren't that sharp either.! - Zero

Ewe should worry. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:16   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Cliff Pope

>> Cranberry by the sound of it, I haven't tried it with lamb but an experiment >> might be worthwhile! >> Red currant I think is traditional, as an alternative to mint sauce. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:18   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - R.P.

The sheep around here are quite advanced - they're bah coded ! Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:23   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Zero

Rubbish, I think you've been fleeced. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:24   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Iffy

He's taken a gambol. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 21:27   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Zero

You shorn? Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 18:43   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - MD

>> Conjours up a marvellous picture AC! Jam with lamb? What is that about - mint >> jelly perhaps? >> Redcurrant Jelly Jam. Mrs. MD puts it in most Gravies or should it be Gravy's Iffy? Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 18:54   Professors aren't that sharp either.! - Iffy

...Mrs. MD puts it in most Gravies or should it be Gravy's Iffy?... 'Mrs MD puts it in gravy' would be a simpler way to put it. If you wanted to use the plural, it is 'gravies', but no capital because it's an ordinary noun. Last edited by: Iffy on Thu 24 Feb 11 at 18:54 Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 18:49   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - CGNorwich

a stupid sheep www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXosBxCYXAk Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 19:57   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Kevin

A few years ago we rented a farmhouse just outside Aviemore. Arrived quite late and next morning Mrs K. and the other girls decided they would go for an exploratory walk while we went to fetch stuff for breakfast. While out on their walk they had come across two dead sheep. They were laid in a field, abdomen ripped open with their unconcerned brethren still munching away around them. Thinking that they'd been attacked by dogs or wild haggis they had gone to tell the farmer. "Och aye lassie, dinnae be feart, it's the neeps." Apparently he'd dumped some old turnips in the field, the two dead sheep had overindulged and suffered terminal intestinal gas. I'm still not sure if he was taking the P or not. Kevin... Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 20:01   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Iffy

...I'm still not sure if he was taking the P or not... Me neither, but sheep can suffer from intestinal gas. Eating clover is another cause, I think. I've never seen it done, but at one time shepherds released the gas by puncturing the side of the sheep. No vets when you're miles from anywhere on a hill farm. Last edited by: Iffy on Wed 23 Feb 11 at 20:02 Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 23 Feb 11 23:05   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - bathtub tom

I was told you never call a vet for a sheep, the charge is more than the beast's worth. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Thu 24 Feb 11 08:17   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Cliff Pope

Our vet's has a special sheep-entrance. Farmers reverse their vehicle or trailer right up to the doors to the Ovine Clinic, for difficult lambing etc. Not joking - my daughter has just done a week's work experience there. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 09:23   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

>> I was told you never call a vet for a sheep, the charge is more >> than the beast's worth. Certainly for a city dog vet, Country farming vets don't charge anything like the same fees. Unless its your race horse, then you will know what vets bills are!!!! Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 11:52   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Iffy

...released the gas by puncturing the side of the sheep... Known as a rumenotomy: "Some people will actually use a rumenotomy (puncturing the rumen-located high on the left side of the lumbar region in severe bloat cases) in severe, life-threatening situations. "This procedure is not for the weak stomached, as the pressure will result in the expulsion of a significant amount of the rumen contents." www.sheepmagazine.com/issues/27/27-2/Laurie_Ball-Gisch.html The procedure is mentioned in Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy: "Gabriel was already among the turgid prostrate forms. He had flung off his coat, rolled up his shirt-sleeves, and taken from his pocket the instrument of salvation. "It was a small tube or trochar, with a lance passing down the inside, and Gabriel began to use it with a dexterity that would have graced a hospital surgeon. "Passing his hand over the sheep's left flank, and selecting the proper point, he punctured the skin and rumen with the lance as it stood in the tube; then he suddenly withdrew the lance, retaining the tube in its place. "A current of air rushed up the tube forcibly enough to have extinguished a candle held at the orifice." Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 17:38   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Armel Coussine

They've been driving me mad today. Every now and then one of them wails: 'Maaaan!', then another replies five minutes later: 'Man, oh maaan!' Either they've all got stomach aches or (perhaps more likely) they've discovered a healthy patch of those plants PU keeps going on about, and are commenting on their quality. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 17:42   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - R.P.

Quite right AC, they like their grass. Pretty quiet here today come to think of it - despite having sheep in fields to the front and on rougher ground to the rear. Bet they're all in the maternity sheds. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 17:54   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

AC? I think you need to get back up to the smoke mate, the country air has done for you. You'll be saying they all have rasta haircuts next... Last edited by: Zero on Thu 24 Feb 11 at 17:55 Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 18:01   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Armel Coussine

What could you mean Zeddo? I'm as well as can be expected, a bit better even. The nurse told me today that my blood pressure was 'perfect'. Her smile didn't even slip when we established that I drink on average, ahem, 13 units a day, and am on 15 snouts as well... Perhaps I should start lining lawyers up to sue for lack of proper care if I suddenly fall ill with an alcohol or tobacco-related condition. Will throwing my shoes at the Minister of Health during a public meeting strengthen or weaken my case for exemplary damages I wonder? Perhaps I will have to consult Mr Assange on that one. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 18:08   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

Well if you told your local Health Care professional that you think the rasta pot smoking sheep are talking to you...? Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 18:22   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Armel Coussine

How often do I have to tell people that they aren't Rastas? I would feel at home with those. These sheep are British, and in some cases perhaps Irish or Roma, to the core. Newmarket, Dublin, Essex fringes, East End, yes; Notting Hill even in the great old days, no way! Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 20:47   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

>> How often do I have to tell people that they aren't Rastas? I would feel >> at home with those. Can you take the word of a 13 units a day man? Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 20:38   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - bathtub tom

>>I drink on average, ahem, 13 units a day, and am on 15 snouts as well... I understand the medical profession believe us, the great unwashed, to be inveterate liars and will always, at least, double the admitted intake of anything we enjoy. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 20:46   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Zero

Let me see I drink on average probably two 330ml bottles of a 5% lager per evening, with a large tot of Limmoncello or port every other night At weekends I probably consume 1 bottle of wine. SO that puts me on about 30-35 units a week. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 21:35   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Crankcase

30-35 a week. Interesting. Last time I had alcohol I had 15 units in one go and it wasn't a good idea. I've not had any units since. Mind you it might have worn off by now, as it was 31 years ago. Reply to this message | Report message

New Thu 24 Feb 11 21:38   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Iffy

...Mind you it might have worn off by now, as it was 31 years ago... You should be OK to drive, but it might be safer to wait until morning. Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 25 Feb 11 09:11   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Tooslow

What's a unit? He said, displaying total contempt for medical theories which seem to change each week. John Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 25 Feb 11 09:13   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Perky Penguin

What is a unit of alcohol? One unit of alcohol is 10 ml (1 cl) by volume, or 8 g by weight, of pure alcohol. For example: * One unit of alcohol is about equal to: o half a pint of ordinary strength beer, lager or cider (3-4% alcohol by volume), or o a small pub measure (25 ml) of spirits (40% alcohol by volume), or o a standard pub measure (50 ml) of fortified wine such as sherry or port (20% alcohol by volume) * There are one and a half units of alcohol in: o a small glass (125 ml) of ordinary strength wine (12% alcohol by volume), or o a standard pub measure (35 ml) of spirits (40% alcohol by volume) Last edited by: Perky Penguin on Fri 25 Feb 11 at 09:15 Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 25 Feb 11 09:19   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Tooslow

Thanks PP but relating that to one of Zero's 330ml bottles or a 440ml can, allowing for the actual alcohol content (cider tends to make you smile sooner) needs a calculator. So I now know what a unit is but in practical terms I shall remain happily ignorant of how much I'm consuming. It's generally one can a day plus the occasional pint from the bar, sounds like something just over 2 /day. John Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 25 Feb 11 09:20   Sheep aren't stupid says prof - Runfer D'Hills

I don't seem to get on with alcohol these days. I sometimes fancy a drink although very rarely now. When I do have even just a couple it just puts me to sleep and ruins the rest of the day / evening. I'm better without it in the main. So if a doctor asks me how many units a week I consume I have to answer that it depends which week, indeed which year sometimes. That confuses them. Reply to this message | Report message