As gb suggested.
A work colleague was fed up with a neighbour allowing their dog to foul the pavement outside their house. They weren't the type to have a quiet word and collected an amount of the offending mess which they wrapped in newspaper. The newspaper was then placed by the front door of the dog owner and lit. the door bell was rung and colleague departed, promptly, to a safe distance.
What would you do if you opened your door to see a small fire, stamp it out?
Colleague said it didn't stop the fouling, but it made them feel a lot better.
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Well it wasn't so much something I regretted but I'm pretty sure the chap concerned in my tale was fairly sure he shouldn't have done this...
A good few years ago now they were upgrading the A74 to motorway status. Much digging, many cones, lots of workmen. Every so often along the dug up bits there were portaloos. Little single occupancy cabins, workforce relief for the use of, presumably.
Anyway, one day I'm pootling up this stretch when I get alongside a dunny. It was incredibly windy that day ( stop it that's not the funny bit ). As I passed the wee hut ( no not that either ) the thing blew over. The door burst open and some poor bloke with his trousers round his ankles but in fairness still wearing his hi-vis and hard hat, rolled gracelessly out of it on to the site still manfully clutching both sides of his copy of the Daily Record. Unfortunately, the contents of the business element of the cabin shot out after him and being of restricted mobility due in the main to his trouser predicament, his newspaper loyalty and presumably taken not a little by surprise he failed to avoid it in time despite a valiant attempt at a triple salko with pike from prone position.
I nearly crashed the car.
:-)
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>> The newspaper was then
>> placed by the front door of the dog owner and lit. the door bell was
>> rung and colleague departed, promptly, to a safe distance.
Ah the old flaming bag of dog poo. This prank was very much in fashion when I were a nipper nearly 30 yrs ago. Funny how some things stand the test of time! :-)
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Not poo related but I raised a smile at the time.
I was waiting at a red light in Lichfield, I think. Two young women are walking along the pavement by my nearside.
It's the 70s or 80s, they're both wearing massive platform shoes. One is pushing a pram.
The scene is set........the one propelling said bassinette trips on a crack ih the pavement, she falls forward, still clutching the handle of the pram which goes down with her, and like a medieval trebuchet, hurls the baby into the air and over her back, only to be neatly and deftly caught by the other one.
It could have been a lot worse, though.......it could have hit my car.
She should have been in goal for Liverpool, they would be top of the league by now !
How SWMBO and I chuckled. !
Ted
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Many years ago, long before mobile phones were invented, three lorries from the same firm all ran up to Liverpool Docks to tip a load of wheat.
When we got there we found a local owner driver in front of us in the inevitable queue. He did nothing but gloat about the early bird etc, and how much more he would earn that day than we would.
We all waited for each other and ran back home together chatting away on the CB, but of course he's long gone.
We decided to call into Corley services and there was this owner driver, having an animated conversation in a telephoner box, about where his next load was coming from.
We did no more but fetch a length of lorry rope and bound it round the box with him inside and secured it with a couple of hitches.
He thought we were joking and would remove it but we all drove off and left him there.
Apparently it was almost a half an hour before he could persuade anyone to undo the rope and he's still vowing to get even to this day.
Pat
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We did no more but fetch a length of lorry rope and bound it round the box with him inside and secured it with a couple of hitches.
Oh - you did that as well ;-)
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>>
>> It's the 70s or 80s, they're both wearing massive platform shoes. One is pushing a
>> pram.
>> The scene is set........the one propelling said bassinette trips on a crack ih the pavement,
Isn't it odd how things trip along in pairs or threes?
I'd not heard the word bassinette until last week. Then Gracie Fields song about the stuff 'All Packed up in Me Little Bottom Drawer' was played somewhere or other.
I had to ask Mrs B for a translation.
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Ah Gracie Fields - Spike had a theory about 'er.
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>> Ah Gracie Fields - Spike had a theory about 'er.
>>
"Our Gracie couls sing opera standing on her head"
"If she did, it would be the only time she made me laugh."
I'm busy re-reading the wartime memoirs at present, Pug
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>> It's the 70s or 80s, they're both wearing massive platform shoes. One is pushing a
>> pram.
>> The scene is set........the one propelling said bassinette trips on a crack ih the pavement,
In my younger days bassinets were stationary, and didn't have wheels.
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You must be very old, Les. You are right, of course, but 100 years or more ago, bassinets/cribs were mounted on a wheeled chassis and given a hood.
The whole thing became to be known as a bassinet.
I used to be a baby once so I know about prams !
Ted
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I shouldn't have done that - Runfer D'Hills
