Not seen a post from Zippy since mid August.
RU OK?
Arrested and banged up somewhere.....
Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Sat 27 Sep 25 at 14:30
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>>Not seen a post from Zippy since mid August
Howls about that fan of VXs, he hasn't been 'in' since June 4th.
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I've been in touch with both over the past few days and both are alive and well but just have other priorities at the moment. Looking forward to their return!
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>> I've been in touch with both over the past few days and both are alive
>> and well but just have other priorities at the moment. Looking forward to their return!
Thanks Smokie.
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>> Howls about that fan of VXs, he hasn't been 'in' since June 4th.
Hello me old woofer :)
I'm still alive and kicking. Just been dealing with some family stuff which has taken a lot longer than anticipated, so my cyberspace visits here have had to take a back burner.
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>>Hello me old woofer :)
Happy Hallowe'en and not so much of the old ;)
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I've been run off my feet looking after a sick pooch - sadly passed away - miss her terribly.
Sick parents, mum is disabled and dad isn't getting any younger.
Volunteering.
A few minor ailments myself.
Etc.
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So sorry to hear that Zips, I understand from what you've posted over the years how much your dog meant to you.
Mrs B and I are fast becoming aging parents. I'm in rude good health but herself has all sorts of aches and pains and isn't as on the ball as she once was.
What sort of volunteering are you doing?
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Thanks Bromp.
Yes, Pooch is credited with "saving" Mrs Z's life when she was very seriously ill in 2011 and the doctor seriously advised getting a pet to look after, so in a way she was a much loved unofficial assistance dog. Mrs Z is taking it hard.
Sorry to hear about Mrs B. I get that. I'm certainly not as bright as I was this time last year as I've retired and not under the same pressure work wise so I guess the "blade is dulled" a bit.
Volunteering is with the RVS. General dogs body for "First Time For Everything" type events - mainly taking photos for promotional stuff on multimedia but I really enjoy putting tables and chairs out, helping washing up, chatting to the client's to get them to agree to photos and encouraging them to show off their creations and then putting the tables and chairs back afterwards.
The events are a couple of times a month and at different locations around the town so as to be as inclusive as possible.
I'm hoping to do more in the new year but am avoiding them for a little bit as I have been getting cold after cold at the moment and don't want to inflict it on any of the clients.
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'Sick parents, mum is disabled and dad isn't getting any younger.'
It's a phase in our lives that we're never prepared for. We're taught (or learn) about the birds and bees, education, career prospects, relationships, marriage, babies, parenthood and private pensions etc. but never about frail parents. It's coming.
I'm spending more time with mine now than with my own family. She's advanced dementia, in and out of hospital and now had a fall. He has cancer, keeps having bits amputated and is in a constant state of angst and worry - a walking, self-made contagious stress machine. And wifey's old man died earlier this month with lung cancer.
It ain't fun and it's testing my own mental state of mind. I keep thinking about Logan's Run and I'd agree with that if it was set at 80.
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In a way I suppose that with my mother we were lucky (if you can call it that ).. Had a stroke and Puff fell over visiting her sister. Gone quickly. Younger Brother 69 took 18 months to go... not fun foe his daughter at all.
As said in another post we did our wills the other week and I chose simple cremation, no service and in front of the solicitor SWMBO starte d crying so I relented and said ok, service if you want.
I must be a bit odd in that I accept that one day my time will come. Swmbo is 16 years younger than me. I'm 74..
My neighbour has been diagnosed with CLL and nottaking it well. Swmbo spent 2 hours with him and his wife talking them through it as it is very early days..
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I agree, I don't want any service and certainly don't want any kind of stone marking my resting place. I've don't know where I'm going to die and the careers of my kids will probably take them into different countries. I don't want them having to go on some pilgrimage to 'pay respects' every year.
A wheelie bin would do me...
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I've expressed my wish to be bunged into a black bin bag and carted off to the crem in the back of a transit, with no service, but a booze up.
I accept I won't be around at the time to have any say in the matter.
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At the end of the day, your own funeral arrangements is not for you, you have no, nor should you have any say. Just leave them enough money to do what they want.
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And I suppose by then, I simply won't care...
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I too feel that what happens after my death is unimportant, but I also know, having at my age been to many funerals (as you do when you get older) that the feelings of those "left behind", i.e. still living, are very important.
I also think that those getting old ought to give some consideration to what happens after they've gone. SWMBO and I have recently done our wills. I have omitted any wishes about how my remains are to be disposed of - I was in favour of a quick cremation and minimum fuss, but SWMBO cannot make up her mind and, if she opted for burial and I had died beforehand, there would be no grave for us to be buried together.
Hopefully her wishes will become clearer and can be communicated to our families before it's too late.
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13 years ago, MiL (aged 97) burial + lunch for 50 was north of £5,000
Just read Local Council Cremation - no attendees is £518.70.
Add in for wicker/plain wood coffin
I could give say £10,000 to a local charities instead of the funeral director etc etc
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>> I was in favour
>> of a quick cremation and minimum fuss, but SWMBO cannot make up her mind and,
>> if she opted for burial and I had died beforehand, there would be no grave
>> for us to be buried together.
A. If you go first, you are cremated, ashes a kept in urn on t'mantelpiece, When Missus is buried, your ashes go in t'grave with her.
B. If she goes first, she is buried. When you die, your ashes are put into the grave with her.
Another job jobbed by Duncan.
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>> Another job jobbed by Duncan.
We intend to put your urn (and ashes contained therewithin) on the cistern lid in the gents bog at Wetherspoons The Coronation Hall, Surbiton.
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I'm reminded me of a fairly recent thread on the MG5 forum "is the car large enough to carry a coffin"!!
Eventually it transpired that his wife was on a course on how to make a willow coffin and needed to be able to transport it home!!
Here's what happened
www.mgevs.com/attachments/1000011085-webp.39640/
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Pretty confident my CRV can handle a 6' 6" coffin - (5ft 8" when I was younger, now a bit less)
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>> I'm reminded me of a fairly recent thread on the MG5 forum "is the car
>> large enough to carry a coffin"!!
Did anyone reply "I wouldn't be seen dead in one of those"?
:)
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>> Did anyone reply "I wouldn't be seen dead in one of those"?
At my Father's funeral the hearse was a Volvo.
I'm sure I remembered him many years earlier looking as Volvo 144 and saying he wouldn't be seen dead in one...
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My Pit (in the garage) has reached the end of its useful life, as I now worry about getting back out. It has paid for itself over 35 years, making difficult diy maintenance jobs easy.
As an alternative to the black bin solution I could be dumped in pit and have it backfilled and concreted. Would this devalue the property sufficiently to avoid a significant IHT contribution?
LA objections (polluting water courses etc) are unlikely as adding to the adjacent grave yard has never proved to be a problem.
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>> I agree, I don't want any service and certainly don't want any kind of stone
>> marking my resting place. I've don't know where I'm going to die and the careers
>> of my kids will probably take them into different countries. I don't want them having
>> to go on some pilgrimage to 'pay respects' every year.
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>> A wheelie bin would do me...
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And me. Me and mine have opted for no a frills place of demise to crem with no mourners. I've left instructions that if I go first none of my family are to be told till after it's all done and dusted. Some of them are staunch Catholics and might try and put pressure on for some sort of religious nonsense.
My first choice was vetoed by Mrs O'Reliant. That was to hire a half a dozen young ladies to dress as nurses while the coffin bearers chased them round the church to the Benny Hill theme tune.
Lovely woman, but no sense of humour.
Last edited by: Robin O'Reliant on Fri 21 Nov 25 at 19:48
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I have prepared a memo with details of all payments for utilities etc which will need to be transferred to my wife's bank account. It also contains other practical details of the superann fund and so on who will have to be informed. I need to add details of friends who should be informed. My wife and sons find all this very depressing however I think it will make things easier for them when ever the inevitable happens. Hopefully well in the future.
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Anyone here annotate phone contacts so that the remaining partner knows who is significant and who isn't?
I haven't yet but it seems a good idea.
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I have gone full circle with my death planning.
Had a spreadsheet called “info for Mrs Bobby” on laptop/ Dropbox with everything they need, accounts, passwords, scans of all previous paperwork etc.
When FiL died in January I had to deal with everything and he had an old fashioned metal file with all his paperwork in it, neatly filled. I decided at that point that it made it much easier for next of kin to sit and go through paperwork and delegate tasks etc rather than sitting by a laptop and taking notes of what they need to do.
So I am now re- papering all my stuff, individual plastic folders for each institution with an A4 sheet at the front with a summary of what it is and all relevant info including online sign ins, passwords etc.
I reckon there is next to zero chance of someone breaking into my houses and stealing my folders to get my online details. Far more likely they will be stolen online in data hacks.
Keep meaning to look into whether you can add a second face to facial recognition, would make sense to add my wife or daughter so that they can access everything in my phone. Especially all my iCloud Photos.
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>> Keep meaning to look into whether you can add a second face to facial recognition,
>> would make sense to add my wife or daughter so that they can access everything
>> in my phone. Especially all my iCloud Photos.
Whenever I fail the biometrics on my Android phone, or indeed my iPad (because I’m not looking at the camera or my finger misses the sensor or whatever) it just falls back to asking for my PIN to unlock the device. I assumed that was default behaviour? It does the same with individual apps, like banking, too.
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'Had a spreadsheet called “info for Mrs Bobby” on laptop/ Dropbox with everything they need, accounts, passwords, scans of all previous paperwork etc.'
And when you ever feel a bit ill, clear the history on your laptop.
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Ha!
Laptop is rarely used for browsing, just used for updating spreadsheets.
The phone, however……
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>> I have prepared a memo with details of all payments for utilities etc which will
>> need to be transferred to my wife's bank account. It also contains other practical details
>> of the superann fund and so on who will have to be informed. I need
>> to add details of friends who should be informed. My wife and sons find all
>> this very depressing however I think it will make things easier for them when ever
>> the inevitable happens. Hopefully well in the future.
>>
I might have posted this before, way back when, but my Father is very organised and told me many years ago (he’s 79 now) that everything I would need to know in the event of his death was in a file called ‘If I Die’ saved to OneDrive and with a copy on his laptop, and also on a USB drive in his safe. When I pointed out his file naming convention was a tad optimistic, and ‘when I die: would be more appropriate I got short shrift!!
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SWMBO's family have a sort of running joke about who gets what when they die. The items have 'their name' on it. It worked for me when the in-laws died. They had one particular picture hanging on the wall that I always liked. The family recognised how much I admired it and it's now hanging in my house.
The grandkids have picked up on this and certain items have 'their name' on them.
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We've had three deaths on our short road in the past two months. It makes you ponder on your own mortality!
First was three doors down, and we knew nothing about it until the funeral cortege turned up. TBF, they've only been there a couple of years (a good friend moved out when his wife's dementia dictated sheltered accommodation) and whilst the term anti-social isn't quite correct, asocial probably is. They were about the only couple on the road that didn't engage with anyone else - couldn't even get a response to a greeting (possibly forgivable as it looks as though it was a long-term illness).
Second one was the remaining half of a couple we've known all our time here (nearly forty years). She'd been in hospital and then in a care home for a short while. The funeral was on Thursday, and was a new one for me. The service was held in the local crematorium, but she wasn't cremated. At the end of the service instead of the curtains closing and the coffin disappearing, the pall-bearers re-appeared and whisked her off for interment. (The parish graveyard is just behind her house, and her husband is buried there). We missed his funeral due to Covid, but had rather assumed it was his ashes that had been interred (and, TBF, we thought the interval on Thursday between the "cremation" and interment wouldn't have allowed time for things to cool ;-) ). I suppose if you want a non-religious service, but burial rather than cremation, it makes some sense.
Third one was the most disturbing. We're good friends with next-door but one (in the other direction). The woman we've known all our time here, and her partner has been around for some time (though he retains his own house). On emerging in the morning a week ago, there were two paramedic cars, a police car and an incident unit parked outside. A further ambulance turned up and another police car. It being very busy, we didn't like to intrude, but got very concerned when two 'hearse' vans eventually turned up. One begins to speculate about CO poisoning or such (not least since they'd just returned from holiday). Eventually, when things settled down it appeared that he had expired very suddenly (current suspect is a ruptured AAA, but a PM will reveal the truth). We've been providing an amount of support, and it appears that, though there will be some tidying to do, he had fully organised his affairs through his solicitor. Though she suspects she might be a beneficiary, there is nothing much for her to do (which given their semi-separate lives is a relief). I did have to advise her not to drive his car (which she had done believing it was OK as a named driver) without clearing it with his insurance company.
(Have to say, my dad died from a ruptured AAA, and was dead before he reached hospital, without any intervening delay. He always wanted to go with his boots on, and it's (to me at least) a rather more palatable prospect than wasting away slowly in a care home).
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Live every day as if it's your last, because one day it will be.
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My latest proverb:
Getting old is unavoidable - but falling apart is not.
:)
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>>current suspect is a ruptured AAA,>>
AI Overview
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm (AAA) Screening Programme
An AAA test is an ultrasound scan for abdominal aortic aneurysms, which are bulges in the main artery in the abdomen. It is a simple, quick, and painless screening offered to all men in the year they turn 65 in the UK.
I had a (should that be 'an'?) AAA test some years ago and was passed as serviceable for a bit longer.
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>> I had a (should that be 'an'?) AAA test some years ago and was passed
>> as serviceable for a bit longer.
Had one about a year ago and passed.
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Given the family history, I pushed for the ultrasound test as soon as I could. My result was at the very low (good) end of normal.
My father was a man of his time; fought in WW2, was a smoker all his life, and probably not the best of diets.
He was also a hero to me, for a multitude of reasons.
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B'naut
"Had one about a year ago and passed".
I rarely criticise another persons phraseology, but is this is a an unfortunate choice of words or TiC?
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>> B'naut
>>
>> "Had one about a year ago and passed".
The word passed has changed its meaning in my lifetime.
Passed away was used by the older generation when somebody died. It had, I think, particular currency with those of a religious persuasion.
Youngsters just said died and I continue in that vein
Passed/passing seems to have crept into vocab in the last 10+ years and both Mrs B and I avoid the term.
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Reminds me of the epitaph to a speeding motorist.
He passed the bobby without any fuss
And he passed the cart of hay
He tried to pass a swerving bus
And then he passed away
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>> Passed/passing seems to have crept into vocab in the last 10+ years and both Mrs
>> B and I avoid the term.
being a londoner, we have many terms for such an occurence. Brown Bread, Snuffed it, carked it, etc. However Monty P knocked it out the park.
youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218
all of which is used to make the subject of death much more easier to talk about.
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A close mate had the test at the appropriate time and all was well. Last Christmas he died of a ruptured aortic aneurysm , age 71 I think, maybe 72. However it ruptured much further up, towards his shoulder, so not abdominal.
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>>SWMBO's family have a sort of running joke about who gets what when they die
My late brother's daughter brings her tape measure with her to measure the furniture when visiting my sister, who has 1.5 feet in the grave.
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My dad died 20 odd years from a post-operative heart attack after AAA repair.
I had a precautionary private AAA check then, and all was well. When I hit mid 60s I had an NHS test and “failed” at 3.2cm. It’s since grown at 1mm a year so I’ve now got about 15 years at that rate before an operation is recommended.
That would take me to about my generally predicted life expectancy of 85 so I don’t lose sleep over it but I avoid heavy lifting and take statins.
The nurse who did the test I failed said I did not fit the expected profile of overweight, smoking, inactive lifestyle etc. It’s probably inherited. Thanks dad!
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Where is Zippy? - Dog
