Non-motoring > Amusing Experience at Work Miscellaneous
Thread Author: zippy Replies: 25
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New Fri 1 Sep 23 16:08 
 Amusing Experience at Work - zippy
Earlier this week I went to visit a client in a "hip" city.

I'd met with the directors, who were a little younger then me. I then wanted to get a feel for the business, so asked the directors if I could spend some time with their staff - to see first hand how the business works, without the directors' spin.

I think the oldest member of staff was 28. Most were in their very early 20s.

They were incredibly polite and attentive. Offered coffee, snacks, comfortable chair etc. I thought great.

I had to nip to the loo at one point.

That's when the illusion was shattered.

I overheard this conversation:

"Who's Santa Claus?"
"he's from the bank, he's lovely, just like my grandad!"

I'm b***** getting some Grecian2000 and a beard trimmer this weekend!
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New Fri 1 Sep 23 17:09 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Kevin
I'd get rid of the bright red suit and furry hat first.
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New Fri 1 Sep 23 17:17 
 Amusing Experience at Work - tyrednemotional
...and the company sleigh...
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New Fri 1 Sep 23 17:39 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Runfer D'Hills
I feel for you Zippy. One of the brands I work with has a head office populated by twenty-somethings almost uniformly pierced, tattooed and with, let’s say unusual hairstyles. The males have woodcutter beards and either impossibly tight or ludicrously baggy trousers. Socks seem to be banned. The females are all covered in “body art” and have multi coloured hair. There are others I can’t quite place. One gets routinely referred to as “dude” or “man” and being seen ingesting anything that is remotely based on an animal product, even down to milk in tea is scowled at.
And then, there’s me, three times their average age and with no adornments other than roomy jeans, t-shirt, boots and a wristwatch. Grey hair and short beard in the winter, clean shaven in the summer. Can’t begin to address anyone as “dude”.
Perhaps I should try? ;-)
Last edited by: Runfer D'Hills on Fri 1 Sep 23 at 17:42
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New Fri 1 Sep 23 18:29 
 Amusing Experience at Work - zippy
>> woodcutter beards

That was it. Every single young guy there had one!
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New Fri 1 Sep 23 22:39 
 Amusing Experience at Work - bathtub tom
One place I worked at (briefly). I was surprised to find when I held for door open for a female, was greeted with a disparaging glare. On another occasion, I witnessed a couple fighting over whose desk was trespassing on another's space, by a couple of inches!

Local council!
Last edited by: bathtub tom on Fri 1 Sep 23 at 22:39
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 20:34 
 Amusing Experience at Work - R.P.
My mid-twenties Manager at Victim Support prefixed a question to me with the word "Dad" - I genuinely thought she was on the phone with her father. When I eventually answered her she went bright red !
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 20:48 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Runfer D'Hills
Office workers crack me up. I’ve never worked full time in such an environment, but I’ve had ample opportunities to observe the behaviour of those who do.
Nigh on obsessive possessiveness over coffee mugs, muttered comments on dress, hairstyles, weight, timekeeping of others etc while not actually doing much themselves if not being observed by the boss. Small but important jobs extended over hours or even days to make them look complicated. No going the “extra mile” even when it would make a huge difference. Complete disconnect from the concept that their customers actually pay their wages rather than just inconvenience them on a daily basis and so on and so on…
Odd culture mostly and all too common.
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 20:58 
 Amusing Experience at Work - sooty123
Probably all caused by too much time indoors staring at screens surrounded by the same people day in day out.
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 21:18 
 Amusing Experience at Work - R.P.
:-). I preferred delivering parcels of prescriptions, drugs, including once, a prosthetic testicle ( I sh** you not) - me the van, decent radio was the only company I needed.
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 21:29 
 Amusing Experience at Work - tyrednemotional
...a rather jaundiced view, Runfer.

Whilst no doubt true in some degree, and more so in some organisations, I've worked in hard-working office environments where I've had great enjoyment and some laugh-out-loud entertainment from some extremely quick, intelligent, clever and humorous workmates.

(that's about all I miss about the world of work ;-) ).
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 21:48 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Robin O'Reliant
>> Office workers crack me up. I’ve never worked full time in such an environment, but
>> I’ve had ample opportunities to observe the behaviour of those who do.
>> Nigh on obsessive possessiveness over coffee mugs, muttered comments on dress, hairstyles, weight, timekeeping of
>> others etc while not actually doing much themselves if not being observed by the boss.
>> Small but important jobs extended over hours or even days to make them look complicated.
>> No going the “extra mile” even when it would make a huge difference. Complete disconnect
>> from the concept that their customers actually pay their wages rather than just inconvenience them
>> on a daily basis and so on and so on…
>> Odd culture mostly and all too common.
>>

And then complaining about "Bullying managers" when they are told to get off Facebook and Amazon and do some work.
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 22:27 
 Amusing Experience at Work - bathtub tom
I spent thirty years in an office and took a pay cut to remove myself from the 'backstabbing' mentality. Then went into local government, where, fortunately, I spent most of my time on the road. Did witness acouple of staff arguing over whose desk was a couple of inches another's territory.
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 22:50 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Runfer D'Hills
I couldn’t do it. Fortunately, I will never have to.
;-)
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New Sun 3 Sep 23 22:48 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Terry
Worth reflecting on the fact that those in the backroom on one side of the fence see those on the other in equally critical ways - eg: sales folk living off lavish expense accounts, golf days, free tickets to sporting and cultural, swanning around in fully expensed company cars etc.

Neither stereotype is wholly fair - but not completely removed from reality.

Personally I found same desk, same task, same colleagues every day rather tedious - but the incompetent, lazy or deadbeat exist throughout company structures.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 10:23 
 Amusing Experience at Work - BiggerBadderDave
Ever heard of counting ceiling tiles?

I was a designer at big, well known publishing house in the 90s. I witnessed bouts of redundancy, take-overs, relocation and merges. There was a merging of my art department and the Trade art department. Our art director and their deputy art director were kicked out and the two left had to decide who got the two offices. Much arguing followed - was this the bigger office or was that actually the bigger office? Resolved by counting ceiling tiles. Very petty indeed, I would have just chosen the one that was next to the coffee/tea area.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 10:41 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Runfer D'Hills
To me the fatal flaw in how people are rewarded is still mostly measured by hours worked. Just “being there” is sufficient to generate income, whereas the real value to the employer is productivity.
I’ve managed teams of field sales people for decades and have always told them the same thing. I simply don’t care what hours or even days they work, when they start or finish, how long they take for lunch or when/if they decide to eat it. What I do care about is results. If they are meeting or beating their monthly sales targets they will be paid their salary and have the opportunity to earn more for exceptional performance.
If they consistently fail to meet those standards then we have to establish whether they or we have to do something differently, or if it is time for a parting of the ways.
Now, I know it isn’t always so easy to measure productivity in some jobs, but all work can be analysed and metrics established that are far more instructive than the number of hours “worked”.

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New Mon 4 Sep 23 18:23 
 Amusing Experience at Work - CGNorwich
"To me the fatal flaw in how people are rewarded is still mostly measured by hours worked. Just “being there” is sufficient to generate income, whereas the real value to the employer is productivity."

Blame the Industrial Revolution and the factory system. Prior to tht no one was ever paid by how many hours they worked but by what they actually produced. An 18th Century shoe maker was paid for shoes produced not how many hours it took to produde a pair.

It's all been down hill since then
Last edited by: CGNorwich on Mon 4 Sep 23 at 18:24
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 18:56 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Runfer D'Hills
Many factory workers are still on piecework rates. A basic salary supplemented by exceeding productivity targets. I remember a guy who worked in a shoe factory cutting out soling materials. He could produce nearly twice as many items per shift than any of his colleagues and was rewarded appropriately. He owned a four bedroomed house and drove a Lotus. He’d turn up early for his shifts, make sure he had enough raw materials to hand, strip to the waist and line 6 two litre bottles of water up on top of his workstation.
Watching him work was mesmerising. Totally accurate but at more or less double speed. Never stopped. But, fair enough, he was prepared to do that to earn the money.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 20:10 
 Amusing Experience at Work - sooty123
Can you be paid piecework rates in the UK now?
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 21:00 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Bromptonaut
>> Can you be paid piecework rates in the UK now?

I think you can, as long as the pay is not less than national living wage.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 21:08 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Fullchat
Im sure production bonuses exist so it must be target driven and an incentive to 'get a wiggle on'.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 21:51 
 Amusing Experience at Work - zippy
>> >> Can you be paid piecework rates in the UK now?
>>
>> I think you can, as long as the pay is not less than national living
>> wage.
>>

Yes you can.

www.gov.uk/minimum-wage-different-types-work/paid-per-task-or-piece-of-work-done

We ask for proof of calculations where we know a client has staff on piece work - re our own anti-slavery policies etc. I don't do these checks, it goes to a small team of people who know how it works.

I did report a company to HMRC via our AML team, who's PAYE was far too low for the staff that they had. It turned out they were paying well below the minimum wage.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 21:58 
 Amusing Experience at Work - sooty123
Cheers, I didn't realise you could still be paid on that rate. Must be a fairly small number of people on that nowadays though.


They were paying well below the minimum wage.

I think there used to be a name and shame list published every now and again, mainly small companies.
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New Mon 4 Sep 23 22:14 
 Amusing Experience at Work - zippy
>>
>> I think there used to be a name and shame list published every now and
>> again, mainly small companies.
>>

tinyurl.com/27wek9hn - links to www.gov.uk/government/news/

Includes, as at June 23 - I've just kept the larger companies on the list...

WH Smith Retail Holdings Limited, Swindon, SN3, failed to pay £1,017,693.36 to 17,607 workers.

Lloyds Pharmacy Limited, Coventry, CV2, failed to pay £903,307.47 to 7,916 workers.

Marks and Spencer P.L.C., London, W2, failed to pay £578,390.79 to 5,363 workers.

Argos Limited, Milton Keynes, MK9, failed to pay £480,093.58 to 10,399 workers.

Buzz Group Limited - Voluntary Arrangement 3/8/20, Nottingham, NG7, failed to pay £319,297.21 to 3,448 workers.

Baxterstorey Limited, Reading, RG6, failed to pay £185,242.24 to 2,166 workers.

McNicholas Construction Services Limited, Elstree, WD6, failed to pay £170,517.57 to 704 workers.

AAH Limited, Coventry, CV2, failed to pay £42,359.39 to 201 workers.

Loganair Limited, Paisley, PA3, failed to pay £24,367 to 43 workers.

Dune Group Limited, London, NW8, failed to pay £21,088.48 to 339 workers.

Macdonald Hotels (Management) Limited, Bathgate, EH48, failed to pay £16,111.76 to 64 workers.

Kuehne + Nagel Limited, Milton Keynes, MK14, failed to pay £14,589.92 to 173 workers.

Hall & Woodhouse Limited, Blandford, DT11, failed to pay £14,354.5 to 23 workers.

Baxterstorey Scotland Limited, Livingston, EH54, failed to pay £13,618.29 to 186 workers.

Arnold Clark Automobiles Limited, Glasgow, G52, failed to pay £12,215.56 to 48 workers.

Oasis and Warehouse Limited - in administration 15/04/20, Witney, OX29, failed to pay £10,963.70 to 996 workers.

Virgin Active Limited, London, EC1A, failed to pay £5,074.96 to 80 workers.

Cater Link Limited, Reading, RG6, failed to pay £4,285.35 to 61 workers.

Toolstation Limited, Bridgwater, TA6, failed to pay £3,090.18 to 79 workers.

Wren Kitchens Limited, Barton on Humber, DN18, failed to pay £1,675.73 to 16 workers.

BNP Paribas Real Estate Advisory & Property Management UK Limited, London, EC2V, failed to pay £933.12 to 3 workers.

Last edited by: VxFan on Tue 5 Sep 23 at 10:56
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New Tue 5 Sep 23 06:39 
 Amusing Experience at Work - Dave
Most main dealer workshops pay bonuses on hours completed, thats why they rush theough work, skip jobs (but charge for them), and the mechanics fight for the jobs that have a long book time, but can be completed quickly, or bodged quickly.
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