I’ve apparently adopted a work wife!
We do grab coffees together or go for lunch together when I’m in the office.
I didn’t know but it was pointed out to me by a colleague and it explains Mrs Z’s behaviour because without fail, every time I’m on a zoom call with her, Mrs Z will pop in to my office with a coffee, biscuits, cake, sandwich etc. something she never bothered doing before. It doesn’t happen at other times of the day when I have to get my own refreshments!
:-)
In reality, I’d be so lucky, she’s 20 years younger than me and I guess I’m the most patient in the team to help with training.
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Worked with some excellent females over the years, including CAB and Victim Support, I was the only male in the office and older than most of the others, I certainly shared coffee and lunches with some of them, still friends with one of them. Not sure of the definition of "work wife" but she certainly was a provider of tea (and cakes) at times of stress or enforced idleness
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>> she certainly was a provider of tea
>> (and cakes) at times of stress or enforced idleness
I thought that sort were called 'feeders'.
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The previous thread linked above includes Wikipedia's definition.
I know Wiki's not a proper source but what's said there seems to get it right c/p my experience: a special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect. I think the use of the word platonic alludes to the fact that such relationships will be with someone of the sex to whom you're naturally attracted. Otherwise I guess they'd just be a best mate at work.
I've had, maybe, four such relationships down the years. First was, at least biologically, old enough to have been my Mother. Others were a bit younger but none massively so. None were, I think, women I'd have thought about as alternative partners even if Mrs B has 'stopped a bus'.
The interaction between such relationships and actual real world wifes and partners is worthy of doctoral research.
Mrs B and I both have close friends we've met professionally who are of the opposite sex. Either of us seeing them at or outside of work is simply not an issue. I guess there are boundaries but neither of us have felt the need to spell them out or worry.
A quick look on Mumsnet or wherever will tell you that such understanding is far from universal.....
Last edited by: Bromptonaut on Fri 25 Aug 23 at 22:35
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It certainly goes further than mates but not as far as partners.
A previous, who I am now godfather to her kid, knew I was going to London on 7/7 and thought I was on public transport and I had my phone off at the time to find numerous missed calls from her checking that I was OK.
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I guess she fits that description.
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