Non-motoring > A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel Miscellaneous
Thread Author: RattleandSmoke Replies: 24
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 Thu 30 Sep 10 23:00 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - RattleandSmoke
Just about sick of it. I usualy go out to a club on Saturdays and a mate who lives up in the hills stays with me. Tonight he has been hinting for me to go out but I kept saying I could not afford it and I am working tomorrow. Now he has just text me to say he is stranded in town. I offered him a valid way of getting back home, a 20 minute tram ride and a £15 taxi but he still keeps hinting.

He lives his life in one girls house to another and tonight it seems all the girls are too tired and his plan back fired so he now wants to stay at mine. Normally I will tell him to get stuffed and I did in a nice way (he is not staying at mine) but don't want to completly fall out with him is a major part of my entire social group.

How do other people deal with friends who start using you but are apart of a wider group of friends so don't want to completly fall out with?

edited to amend the word that triggered the swear filter in the subject title
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 1 Oct 10 at 01:06
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 Thu 30 Sep 10 23:03 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Robin O'Reliant
Tell him you'd be delighted to have him stay, but as you have other visitors he'd have to share your single bed. And not to worry about pyjamas as it is much healthier to sleep nude.
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 1 Oct 10 at 01:05
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 Thu 30 Sep 10 23:16 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Ted
Even better...tell him Big Dave's over and staying with you.

He'll have to share BD's bed !

Or tell him your whole family's ill with Swine Vesicular Disease.

Ted
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 1 Oct 10 at 01:05
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 Thu 30 Sep 10 23:16 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - RattleandSmoke
Hehe. If it was my own house and I had a spare bedroom it wouldn't have been a problem but then him wanted to stay would end up being so regular he would live here rent free.

On Saturday he pulled a girl stayed at hers, so I had to get a taxi back as it was 4:00am and the buses had stopped running. If I knew he hasn't staying (i.e spit taxi) I would have got the 3:10am bus back and saved £10.00

The situation is a bit tricky, just spoke to him on the phone now and he has found another girl he can stay with.

He is a bit of a wild party animal, I do go out clubbing each weekend (some of my mates don't do that any more) but for me weekend is the place. Staying out till 3:00am during work nights is just silly to me now.
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 1 Oct 10 at 01:05
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 Thu 30 Sep 10 23:35 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - BobbyG
Ask him if you can shadow him for a week????
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 1 Oct 10 at 01:05
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 08:18 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Dog
>>If it was my own house and I had a spare bedroom<<

There's your answer then - pass the buck!
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 08:37 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Duncan
>> Staying out till 3:00am during work nights is just silly to me now.
>>

Just listen to yourself.

You are SO old!
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 09:22 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Bagpuss
>> (i.e spit taxi)

Yes I remember those from when I lived in Manchester.
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 Thu 30 Sep 10 23:48 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Kevin
>Now he has just text me to say he is stranded in town.

Why didn't you ignore it?

Kevin...
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 1 Oct 10 at 01:05
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 06:19 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - madf
Ask him to pay the rates and utilities...

(seriously)
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 16:49 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Perky Penguin
Make him an ex-mate asap! What pleasure and joy does he bring to your life?
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 18:09 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Robin O'Reliant
>> Make him an ex-mate asap! What pleasure and joy does he bring to your life?
>>
That might be a bit too personal, PP...;-)
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 12:43 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Fullchat
"What text?? Oh dear I must have missed that."
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 12:46 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Iffy
I'd be happy enough to stay chez Rattle - provided the shower's clean.

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 Fri 1 Oct 10 15:53 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - madf
I would not worry about the shower.. it's the rats :-)
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 16:24 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Armel Coussine
If as I seem to remember you are still living in your parents' house, Sheikha, it is perfectly polite to tell your friend that the disturbance caused by his constant unscheduled presence is upsetting the old folk (it doesn't have to be strictly true of course) and he should really only count on you in extreme emergencies.

Some of the people we associate with when young are surprisingly boorish in their behaviour. Later in life either they improve, or you get less private in your habits, or you drift apart.
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 Fri 1 Oct 10 17:02 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - bathtub tom
>> I would not worry about the shower.. it's the rats :-)

I'm sure they're clean too.
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 19:08 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Bellboy
with mates like him who needs an enema?
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 19:47 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - madf
not in the shower please: you will upset the rats...
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 20:41 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - -
Sometimes it's not till a personal relationship is over and the dust settles that you can see exactly what was going on warts and all, something that anyone standing outside looking in spots straight away.

Move on Rattie, find yourself a good woman and live, i recommend Latins, other types are available..;)
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 20:44 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - RattleandSmoke
Well its certainly causing problems. I went out to a pub last night 20 miles from home and didn't invite him as the logstics were not possible. He is not happy and is being quite bitter about it, because I said I am not going clubbing and he can't stay at mine in the first saturday in weeks.

I don't want to fall out with him but if he carries on like this I will have no choice.
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 20:47 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - Old Navy
>> I don't want to fall out with him but if he carries on like this
>> I will have no choice.
>>

Good for you Rats, you don't need "friends" that take advantage of your generosity.
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 20:48 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - R.P.
I was just going to say the same..
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 Sun 3 Oct 10 22:23 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - corax
>> I don't want to fall out with him but if he carries on like this
>> I will have no choice.

Absolutely. And don't worry about the fact that it may break the rest of your social circle, because, as you've said before, you're going through the same routine with these people and it's not making you happy. Sounds like you're changing. Best to cut loose sometimes and find a new, more invigorating life.

End of Agony Aunt Sermon :-)



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 Sun 3 Oct 10 22:27 
 A mate wants to treat my place as a hotel - RattleandSmoke
Its not that I am changing so much I do really like the club I go to but not every week. Last night it was a simple pub and I didn't have a hang over today which was nice.

I am always in the middle, my other mates dont' go clubbing much with us at all just once a month, I like it ocassionaly but I also like the pub. My mate wants to do nothing but go to club to pull.

Where as me I want nothing more to air guitar along to Kiss or Guns n Roses.

I am not going to worry about it though and from now on I just do what I want to please myself.

I think I am changing in the fast that a year ago if somebody invited me to go clubbing or drinking during the week I would jump at the chance, now I am just as happy at home BUT I do need to go out every saturday.
Last edited by: RattleandSmoke on Sun 3 Oct 10 at 22:28
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