From my daughter's chap.
Thought it would be some question about household repairs, cars or public transport.
Actually he wanted my consent to propose marriage.
Mrs B and I were at his parents' wedding and they've been G/f - B/f since early teens. He's a lovely guy and I cannot believe anybody else would put up with her so I said go ahead:
She accepted.
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Congratulations to all of you!
Last edited by: Old Navy on Mon 10 Apr 17 at 20:35
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Weren't you tempted to say no?
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That's a cheapskates ploy, they will still get married but your wallet would remain intact! :-)
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I'd've wound him up a bit
ring ring
"Mr Naut, I'd like to marry your daughter"
"Excelent, so pleased the gender reassignment procedure didn't put you off"
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Congrats to all Bromp !
Sheesh, but have ye seen the price o' weddings?
;-)
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Congratulations to all. As Runfer says, weddings are expensive - try to persuade her to have a smaller more intimate wedding. Nicer in my opinion.
My niece is getting married next year. It will be expensive. Before they've invited anyone they've sent fridge magnets with the date etc. on it. They'd be better off spending the money (my brother's money) on something like a deposit.
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>> Try to persuade her to have a smaller more intimate wedding. Nicer in my opinion.
>>
Careful with that one, my younger lad & his fiancee are having a small intimate wedding later this year in Antigua, will be lovely but not the cheapest option and even some close family will be unable to be there.
Congrats though Bromp, get started on the speech soon.
Last edited by: commerdriver on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 08:34
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>> Careful with that one, my younger lad & his fiancee are having a small intimate
>> wedding later this year in Antigua, will be lovely but not the cheapest option and
>> even some close family will be unable to be there.
Sorry, commerdriver, but I just don't get this.
What could be better than getting married* in an English# country church with all your friends and family there?
*Some might say not getting married.
# Insert name of your favoured country.
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>> Sorry, commerdriver, but I just don't get this.
Nor me, a wedding is a family celebration. Honeymoons are for disappearing into the wild blue far flung places.
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>> Honeymoons are for disappearing into the wild blue far flung places.
And then getting intimate with each other.
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>> Sorry, commerdriver, but I just don't get this.
??
Their choice. They are a very non-traditional couple. They saw the 15th century church, 100+ guests at a reception in a barn with caterers doing the meal kind last year and decided that wasn't for them
So they will have a sunny location in the Caribbean, both sets of parents, one sister and one child attending. Different, memorable, even romantic in its own way, but not certainly not the usual option.
But then life would be a bit boring if we all wanted to do things the same way.
Last edited by: commerdriver on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 09:24
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>> >> Try to persuade her to have a smaller more intimate wedding. Nicer in my
>> opinion.
Sometimes family expectations come to bear - in those cases, it's appropriate for the family to fund the reception for 200.
When the boss and I were married, we had next to no money. I would not ask my parents to pay, and the same would have applied to hers had her divorced mother not been a church mouse anyway. We went to the Register Office followed by the pub afterwards. My father kindly paid for the drinks and matrimonial baked meats (buffet), £80 I think, which meant we could buy a fridge for our new house.
>> Careful with that one, my younger lad & his fiancee are having a small intimate
>> wedding later this year in Antigua, will be lovely but not the cheapest option and
>> even some close family will be unable to be there.
I could weep when I hear of couples either blowing years of savings or going into debt for what is essentially a one day party. Getting married on a beach in the Carribean is one way of avoiding that, potentially, but of course prevents those without the wherewithal attending.
The most enjoyable weddings I have been to have been village hall affairs, either catered at moderate cost or by guests bringing food. In the evening the chairs and tables are stacked, the band arrives and a good time is had by all.
My wife's niece is getting married somewhere in the Eastern Mediterranean next year, the invitation has been issued. I am in the doghouse because I don't think I should go. Why would anybody get married a 5 hour flight away if they actually wanted the people they (or the bride's mother) have invited, to go?
Each to their own of course.
>>
>> Congrats though Bromp, get started on the speech soon.
>>
Seconded. And plant the idea of a ceilidh or similar in the village hall with a few barrels of Frog Island:)
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Why would anybody get married a 5 hour flight away if they actually wanted the
>> people they (or the bride's mother) have invited, to go?
Two people i work with did the same, both married out in Cyprus, 40-50 people at each wedding. But very much their choice and come if you can but we aren't changing because you can't.
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Yes it's Cyprus, and July. I've been there in June and I never want to be that hot again!
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>> Yes it's Cyprus, and July. I've been there in June and I never want to
>> be that hot again!
>>
I spend a lot of time in Cyprus, you think that's hot try August, working outside ;)
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>> I spend a lot of time in Cyprus, you think that's hot try August, working
>> outside ;)
They did say it was a hot year...it was certainly at least 36 degrees at times. Looking at the average temperatures now I find that hard to believe, but it was - Larnaca, 1989. End of June/begining of July I think.
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> They did say it was a hot year...it was certainly at least 36 degrees at
>> times. Looking at the average temperatures now I find that hard to believe, but it
>> was - Larnaca, 1989. End of June/begining of July I think.
>>
I can well believe it, middle east type temperatures in the summer. Much cooler in the winter mind, this year was bad worst in 20 years so they say.
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>>
>> >> I spend a lot of time in Cyprus, you think that's hot try August,
>> working
>> >> outside ;)
>>
>> They did say it was a hot year...it was certainly at least 36 degrees at
>> times. Looking at the average temperatures now I find that hard to believe, but it
>> was - Larnaca, 1989. End of June/begining of July I think.
>>
On my wife's 70th. birthday (July 4th,) I was cooking curries , for the party, in our Spanish apartment's kitchen and it was 40C + there! (No aircon. in the kitchen so we used a portable evaporating cooling unit. Not much help.
I was hot!
It was not usual to see 40C too often on the coast, but inland towards Sevilla, or in the Alpurrajas, it was not rare in summer.
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Congratulations to all.
However, Humph just brought up a point;
What does a wedding cost these days? Mine was the best part of £20k and that was years ago.
Dear God. I have two daughters. Shoot me now.
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Two daughters @ £40K each (inflation) surely small change for a man of your status. :-)
Last edited by: Old Navy on Mon 10 Apr 17 at 22:58
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Nope. I need to sell the benefits of living in sin. Though I might not get much support from their [very] catholic Mother.
Last edited by: No FM2R on Mon 10 Apr 17 at 23:15
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My youngest offspring and about to be DiL paid in full for their own wedding, planning it exactly how they wished it to be.
It was a truly memorable occasion, meticulously planned.
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Congratulations.
Don't forget to ask for the dowry...
Last edited by: madf on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 05:22
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>> It was a truly memorable occasion, meticulously planned.
I pointed out to him that wedding planning was an opportunity to develop his project management skills.
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And the price of funerals....
congrats all round
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Weddings can be cheap...my CA friends got married at Lake Tahoe just up the road from where they live. They 'put in' with their kayaks, paddled up the shoreline several miles, 'took out' at a private lakefront they had rented for the day, paid a travelling wedding person to do the nuptials, then friends provided a Jacobs Join for the food and drink.
Their dogs splashed in the lake, the sun shone ( it does every day in summer) and a great time was had by all. It cost less than $1000.
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My wedding was dirt cheap. Probably less than a grand. The month long round the world honeymoon cost more than ten times that tho!
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Ours was cheap as well. Registry office, close family and friends only, reception at the local football club, and a week in Brighton for the honeymoon. We were skint.
Wouldn't have changed a thing.
Congrats to you, your daughter and future son-in-law, Bromp :-)
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Best wishes to the happy couple and I hope they are up-to-date enough to pay for their own wedding. Both of our offspring formed such couples although we chipped in with fairly healthy contributions, plus a Phantom Four for our daughter (strangely cramped in the back for a luxury car).
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I have been two weddings that were unusually small regarding numbers attending.
Good friends of ours , Mr and Mrs Smith ( their real names) decided to get married .
SWMBO was one witness and I was too plus also doubled up as the driver and photographer.
30 years ago we took the kids to St Lucia for an all in beach holiday.
We were staying in a semi detached cabin in the grounds.
There was a UK couple staying next to us with a young son.
Half way through our stay we got an invite/ need a favour from next door.
" We are getting married tomorrow would you come, be witnesses and video us ?"
So a quick video lesson and then off to the beach event.
Sadly that evening SWMBO managed to leave the bath tap on low and due to the overflow not being connected flooded the two cabins so we all had to decamp after a "good" evening.
p.s Since then we have never had any contact from them.
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Your future SiL showed he has no class at all.
He should have personally come around to your gaff and asked you man to man.
Well at least he didn't text you I suppose.
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>> He should have personally come around to your gaff and asked you man to man.
Given it's a ten hour plus round trip from him to us that's taking class beyond it's limit.....
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Not in my book Brompt.
I can be a picky old f*rt and am a stickler for some things - this is one of them.
I would have done it - only 5 hours each way. One day out of his life to impress the future inlaws would have been well worth it in my view.
Oh and another thing, this trend for weddings in far flung places costing participants loads of money and so preventing some relatives coming to the event - it's an abomination.
I'm done now.
Last edited by: Dulwich Estate II on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 12:18
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>>I can be a picky old f*rt and am a stickler for some things - this is one of them.
How many daughters do you have?
I've been to weddings where tens of thousands have been spent by parents who can afford it. Lovely parties. I've been to weddings where tens of thousands have been blown by couples who can't afford it; I always feel guilty at those. I've been to a wedding where copious quantities of perfectly nice wine were provided and a street food stand did the food (in polystyrene takeaway trays). Perfect, and all for under £10 a head.
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>>I've been to weddings where tens of thousands have been spent by parents who can afford it. Lovely parties. I've been to weddings where tens of thousands have been blown by couples who can't afford it
And then five years down the road it's D.I.V.O.R.C.E
Last edited by: Dog on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 13:11
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Mapmaker:
" How many daughters do you have? "
One, she got married a couple of years ago and the church ceremony and shindig were both within a couple of miles of home.
Cost? well, as you ask, the thick end of £25,000 all in. Splendid day - all it does is to reduce her inheritance and hurts HMRC the tax too.
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One day out of
>> his life to impress the future inlaws would have been well worth it in my
>> view.
Why would you be impressed, would you think less if they didn't ask at all?
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Weddings, and for the sake of clarity, I unfortunately have more than the national average experience of them, are like heroin to women. They only have to get the slightest taste of it and it's like a drug. All controlling, all rationality goes completely out of the window. Never make the mistake, if you are male, of having any opinions about it. Your only role is to agree with the women, turn up, say how wonderful it all is, and of course, pay.
;-)
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Congratulations!
I hope you have been saving up!
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I suppose if you think about it, it is an odd thing to do. I didn't ask my fil, i wasn't marrying him!
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I didn't ask either of mine, but then the first one was dead at the time and the second one was just so grateful that someone was prepared to take on the project it didn't seem necessary.
;-)
Last edited by: Runfer D'Hills on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 14:05
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>> the second one was just so grateful that someone was prepared to take
>> on the project it didn't seem necessary.
My father in law said this to me in pretty much these exact words two days before our wedding. I was taken to one side, and prepared myself for the fatherly "do the right thing by her or you'll have me to deal with" type speech. Instead it was "Thanks for taking her. We didn't think anyone would."
Awful and funny in equal measure. And yes, I did tell her. She was completely unfazed by it.
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. Instead it was "Thanks for taking her. We didn't think anyone would."
>>
>> Awful and funny in equal measure. And yes, I did tell her. She was completely
>> unfazed by it.
That genuinely made me chuckle. Cheers.
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>> was just so grateful that someone was prepared to take on the project
>>
I did ask my f-i-l but way after I had asked SWMBO, we both knew her dad was a bit of a traditionalist. Knowing his daughter he would not have dared say no but it was nice to be asked.
He did leave the comparison with Pandora's box till his speech after the wedding
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>He should have personally come around to your gaff and asked you man to man.
I'd have to agree, the phone call is a bit tacky and it should have been done in person.
And if a 10 hour roundtrip is too much effort, then I kind of wonder where that puts things in his priority list. I flew many thousands of miles for the same conversation because that's how important I thought it was.
Still, better something than nothing, I guess.
Though if by some weird fluke any future son-in-law of mine reads this at any future time, then a word of advice; get off your butt.
Last edited by: No FM2R on Tue 11 Apr 17 at 15:10
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>>
>>
>> Though if by some weird fluke any future son-in-law of mine reads this at any
>> future time, then a word of advice; get off your butt.
>>
What if they turned up one day, "Dad, you're not going to like this but we got married yesterday. We didn't tell you because we didn't want any fuss".
It happens.
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>>What if they turned up one day, "Dad, you're not going to like this but we got married yesterday. We didn't tell you because we didn't want any fuss".
I love my daughters and so I would have to deal with it. Though much would depend on why. Maybe they could come up with a reason which would stop me thinking he was a spineless t***.
However, it *would* colour my thinking of the lad and he'd go a long way to recover from that. I can pretend to like someone without actually liking or respecting them. And it would be the respect thing that would matter.
My Father in law and I are not best friends, we're far too different. But we respect each other and so get along.
Respect matters.
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"I can pretend to like someone without actually liking or respecting them. And it would be the respect thing that would matter.
My Father in law and I are not best friends, we're far too different. But we respect each other and so get along.
Respect matters."
I'm delighted to read this, Mark.
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>I'm delighted to read this, Mark.
I'm not sure if this is simply a friendly comment or there is some hidden message. I apologise for any unwarranted suspicion.
Either way its probably worth mentioning that respect is not only important, it is earned, can be lost, and is not always deserved.
It is always important though.
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>> What if they turned up one day, "Dad, you're not going to like this but
>> we got married yesterday. We didn't tell you because we didn't want any fuss".
>>
>> It happens.
>>
I would be a bit upset at missing my one chance of "giving her away", I would be more bothered that she hadn't wanted us there and by how my wife would take it.
Wouldn't want to lose our daughter so would accept it whatever we thought.
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I asked my ex FiL for his daughters hand in marriage. And I was sober at the time! Quite surprised he readily agreed as on our first jolly abroad pre marriage I flew home alone... left her in Bourg St Maurice hospital for a week with a broken tibia and fibula.
As Runfer said, I kept my head down, let the females get on with it and paid up what I was asked to. Probably one of the best days of my life.
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Congratulations; hope all goes well.
Our elder daughter's wedding at Trent Bridge cricket ground was enormous fun. She took complete control of all arrangements; venue, menu, bridesmaids, weather etc. We coughed up a laughably small contribution and enjoyed the day. Apart from b-i-l's ribs getting broken as a result of some drunken foolishness in the gents, all went smoothly.
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>> Apart from b-i-l's ribs getting broken as a result of
>> some drunken foolishness in the gents, all went smoothly.
>>
>>
It would have been interesting for you to have expanded on that, but I'm glad you didn't.
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Congratulations, Brompt, I hope all goes well.
"as a result of some drunken foolishness ......."
I remember some of our most interesting nights playing in the band were for a wedding where there was a fight. Generally, the band got a good view and early warning of flying bottles and tables and it usually meant that we could pack up by 10pm and go find a pub.
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A good friend of ours recalled a wedding in his family as a very quiet one where only the bride's mother was thumped in the face and a wardrobe was thrown across the room !
Fun !
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>> a wardrobe was thrown across the room !
>>
Why was there a wardrobe in the room?
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>>
>> Why was there a wardrobe in the room?
>>
To hide the elephant.
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I think it was perhaps a bit of a cat fight in a bedroom during the bride's preparations.
Or an escape route to Narnia for the groom !
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I had a Phone Call This Afternoon... - Old Navy
