Non-motoring > Tantrums Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Crankcase Replies: 14
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 10:37 
 Tantrums - Crankcase
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-36837803

In brief, cafe owner says that if kids have tantrums in her cafe, she will step in and "talk to" the child herself if the parents don't.

What do we think? Not her place or jolly good show, about time? Not having kids myself, they can annoy a bit when you're out somewhere. Even if you do have them do you also get annoyed at other people's too, or is this just middle aged curmudgeonly old me?

I believe the Italians have a reputation for loving having kids about in restaurants and so on, but do Italian kids act differently to anybody else's or are they just more tolerant?
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 10:44 
 Tantrums - sherlock47
More effective if she "talked" to the parents?

It could then be a long term fix.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 11:03 
 Tantrums - Old Navy
>> It could then be a long term fix.
>>

Selfish parents with no consideration for others are unlikely to respond well to advice. If it was my cafe I would ask (tell) them to leave. The other customers present would be more likely to return.
Last edited by: Old Sundodger on Wed 20 Jul 16 at 11:03
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 10:45 
 Tantrums - madf
We never allowed our kids to spoil other people's entertainment/eating.
l
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 11:05 
 Tantrums - Cliff Pope
>> We never allowed our kids to spoil other people's entertainment/eating.
>> l
>>
>>

Hear hear.
We treated ours as grownups, took them to restaurants, concerts, plays etc. They got the treats if they behaved responsibility, which they did.

Noisy children are like mobile phones - name and shame the parents and chuck them out.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 11:58 
 Tantrums - smokie
I am totally against kids being allowed the spoil others entertainment or evening out and I think I've posted before about it happening in my local.

However talking to the child is plain wrong. You don't know any of the history, background reason, health issues, family dynamics etc etc. Talk to the parents, boot them out, ban them completely but talking directly to the child is not right.
Last edited by: smokie on Wed 20 Jul 16 at 11:58
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 12:37 
 Tantrums - WillDeBeest
There's a huge difference between the kind of disruptive, over-indulged child who runs about, gets in the way and spoils other diners' enjoyment - which is entirely a failure of parenting - and the occasional noisy meltdown of a tired, overheated or simply confused toddler, which will sometimes just happen. I challenge anyone here to prove that they themselves were never that toddler! I reckon we've all done it.

I agree that there's no point 'talking to' a child in that state, as if an appeal to reason that the parents hadn't thought of might suddenly do the trick. Distraction can work, though: something bright or unusual that breaks the self-feeding cycle in the child's mind. But glaring at the parents as if it's somehow all their fault helps nobody.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 14:13 
 Tantrums - smokie
Glaring at the parents is, for me, is nothing to do with saying it's their fault. I even accept that their disruptive child may not be acting in character, or may have no control over the way it is behaving, or no recognition that it is being disruptive.

If I did it, glaring at the parents would be a hint for them to "do something" to stop their child disrupting other peoples enjoyment.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 10:47 
 Tantrums - Old Navy
>> I believe the Italians have a reputation for loving having kids about in restaurants and
>> so on, but do Italian kids act differently to anybody else's or are they just
>> more tolerant?
>>

The Italian (or any well brought up kids) are socialised from an early age. Anyone can have a bad day but kids that have been included in family meals where ever they take place know how to behave.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 11:04 
 Tantrums - Manatee
I'm happy to tolerate chatter but when a small child is causing a disturbance in a restaurant say, then a polite and considerate guardian who can't pacify it will remove the child temporarily rather than inflict the racket on everybody.

I wouldn't interfere in another parents battle, as all men are suspected child molesters, but my wife might - she's a child whisperer. Years of practice.

My 20 month old granddaughter is a model child (obviously) who has just started to question why she can't always do what she wants. On an outing at the weekend with the boss and me, she decided she did not want to leave Wimpole Home Farm (which you will know CC) and simply sat down on the ground. She wouldn't walk (except in the wrong direction) and when I tried to put her in the pushchair she did the starfish thing and started to impersonate an air raid siren.

I explained for the sake of form that we had to go home and see Mummy, then gentle but overwhelming force was used to strap her in. She immediately went quiet - clever girl, knows when the game is up. She's forgiven me (or she's biding her time).

Babies sometimes scream for no obvious reason, and all toddlers can throw one when they are thwarted.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 11:15 
 Tantrums - John Boy
Someone told me recently that, when his granddaughter threw herself on a supermarket floor in a screaming tantrum, he did exactly the same. He claimed that she stopped immediately and has never done it since. Has anyone on here ever tried that strategy?
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 11:31 
 Tantrums - Manatee
I doubt if it's a cure in this case! In fact I hope it isn't. This one wasn't a full on, blue in the face, wracked with sobs tantrum. More a disagreement, that she doesn't have the words to express, although she did make her meaning clear with "No!".

I haven't my wife's automatic empathy with ankle biters, but I can tell the 'protest' screaming from a total meltdown. She (the child) doesn't have many of those, but she isn't above putting on a display.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 12:42 
 Tantrums - Falkirk Bairn
I have 6 grandchildren - 4 you can take anywhere & 2 with behaviour issues that are well of the scale...............lying behind this bad behaviour there are medical issues exacerbated by lack of firm parental control.

That said the 8 year old is getting better but the 5 year old shows no sign of being better behaved anytime soon.
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New Wed 20 Jul 16 12:46 
 Tantrums - legacylad
A world of difference between the hotel I am currently enjoying, and one I stayed in Dec'15 in Tenerife. Both supposedly 4* establishments, but here in Turkey the guests are 80% Turkish.
Equivalent numbers of small children, but amazingly well behaved here. No screaming round the pool or on the beach. Only one hissy fit (so far) at dinner and the child was speedily removed by a parent never to be seen again.
It could well be that the Turkish children are accustomed to the heat? Their table manners are far superior, although their parents still seem to prefer eating with a fork in the right hand. At least the Turkish teens don't eat off the plate whilst returning to table from the food areas with their fingers, a habit which annoys the beejesus out of me.
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New Sun 21 Aug 16 17:20 
 Tantrums - Armel Coussine
I was on an aircraft once, in 1st class I think. A small Arab child in the seat behind let out a scream like a train whistle about once a minute throughout the trip. It was smiling, not in distress, and its parents made no attempt to shut the little fiend up.

I could cheerfully have murdered them all but didn't have the courage to try. I suppose airline flight staff are used to more or less anything and they didn't gag the little swine either. I toyed with the idea of sticking my fingers down my throat and vomiting over its head, but squeamishness prevented me.

Some people really aren't fit for human company.
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Sun 21 Aug 16 at 17:24
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