What a welcome we all give them.
In recent days we’ve had a newcomer posting but this post isn’t specifically about Fluffy, it’s a post about new forum members in general.
They take a while to pluck up courage to make that post, just as I did all those years ago, after reading the forums for a while.
Now, let’s look at what they have seen and may have deduced from that.
Bear in mind they are strangers to us so what they see is a bit of camaraderie, a bit (lot) of bullying, a bit of advice and a vast majority of sensible and helpful posts.
They finally feel they would like to contribute but hope they don’t get ridiculed as it’s an unknown quantity to them how they will be accepted.
So, as soon as that first post goes live we all make a judgement based on
1) Its a new member
2) Its a troll.
3) It’s an ex member returned.
4) Its a current member with a new user name on a wind up.
Let’s take 2 &3 first.
Yes it may well be, but the best way to deal with both trolls and ex members who want to masquerade as someone else is to ignore them. All they want is attention so don’t give them any.
Now number 4. IMHO this should not be allowed on any forum and is one of car4play failings.
Ok so that leaves us with it actually being a new member, but it sound suspicious.
So, maybe English isn’t his first language.
Maybe he is autistic, maybe he’s very nervous and trying too hard and maybe his grammar and spelling isn’t the best.
Maybe he is very young but with an aspiring mind.
What do we do?
We ridicule him, point out his failings, and make assumptions and accusations.
What happened to making a newcomer feel welcome?
Taking time to get to know them and encourage them to feel comfortable instead of giving the impression we are a very closed club of regulars who don’t intend to let anyone in?
Surely we could all try a bit harder with new posters?
Discuss…..
Pat
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Or you could lead by example rather than lecture?
And your analysis makes no sense given the exhibited behaviour. Which doesn't mean it is necessarily wrong, but it is unlikely.
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I made it clear this was about new forum members in general, and if you think that's a lecture from me, I suggest you hold on to your b***** hat while I really get wound up.
It was a suggestion, no more no less, as to a way of encouraging new members to post which I'm sure would be welcome to most of us on here.
Pat
Last edited by: Pat on Mon 22 Feb 16 at 16:42
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Ah, so this bit...
"Discuss….."
...wasn't what you meant.
You meant agree with mummy or be quiet.
And you get as wound up as you want, its hardly going to make any difference to me, and I shouldn't hold your hopes out for causing any impact. I certainly feel my hat will survive unheld.
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>>You meant agree with mummy or be quiet.
<<
Is that your definition of discuss a general point about welcoming forum members?
For once, it wasn't one of your posts that prompted my suggestions......I'd quit while I was winning if I was you Mark.
AC, while I agree in part with your sentiments, surely it's possible to realise it might just be a bit scary posting for the first time on any forum for some people.....certainly seeing the reaction I get from certain people!
Encourage all, embrace the different, and the forum will become a far more interesting place to be.
Pat
Last edited by: Pat on Mon 22 Feb 16 at 17:15
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>I'd quit while I was winning if I was you Mark.
I didn't realise that I was winning. Or even that it was a competition. But thank you anyway..
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I just take people as i find them, how long they've been here (or anywhere).isn't something I judge them on or worry about.
Last edited by: sooty123 on Mon 22 Feb 16 at 16:51
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My view:
- new posters should be taken at face value
- they should not be discussed as if they are not here - incredibly offensive, bullying behaviour.
- if you don't like a post or a poster, ignore them.
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There's no need to treat new members, or people claiming to be new members, with kid gloves Pat. We should assume they are adults, not childish wimps who have to be cosseted.
If they are wimps and flee in terror, it's good riddance surely? This is a motoring website, not a nursery or rehabilitation clinic.
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as I said to the man? in question we have all kinds of oddballs here what's one more, welcome (to the madhouse)
I swear some people here would, as my dear old mum used to say, "start a row in an empty house"
:-)
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>> I swear some people here would, as my dear old mum used to say, "start
>> a row in an empty house"
Discuss
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>> I swear some people here would, as my dear old mum used to say, "start a row in an empty house"
:-)
But he hasn't allowed those people to wind him up. That looks like the problem to me.
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Don't forget you are very good with the written word A.C.
I remember the row you had with number cruncher professor of maths.He dissapeard in the wilderness.>:)
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>>He dissapeard in the wilderness.>:)
And you think that is something to be proud of?
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Not proud, it happens you are not far behind when it comes to sarcasm when it suits you.
Number Cruncher took it and left.
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>> the row you had with number cruncher professor of maths.He dissapeard in the wilderness.>:)
I didn't want NC to flounce and regretted my role in making him flounce. He'd annoyed me by being patronizing, then turned out to be sensitive to criticism - a wimp actually.
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Some people might be a wimp on paper A.C but hard cases in the real world.
I went on honest john site and had comments from one character about my spelling which I apologise for.He wrote a sarcastic letter and I was going to take him on in person.Childish behaviour on my behalve and got banned from the site.
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>> I was going to take him on in person.Childish behaviour on my behalve and got banned from the site.
I don't remember that Dutchman. D'you mean you were going to go round to his house and give him a bunch of fives?
HJ could be quite strict about some things. You had to pick your words carefully. I think I got into trouble there once or twice, but it was so long ago...
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I respect any forums views . The greater the debate the better.
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I am new to this forum. I was on a forum called ppeweb.com but that was 15 years ago ago, the boom time of 2000.
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Is the ppe Personal Protective Equipment? No, not taking the P.
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I have noticed there is a forum post about fluffy.
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What's the name of that gadget they're using to suck up tumbleweed in Australia?
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There is Fluffy, but you may also have noticed that this post isn't specifically about you.
It's merely an observation on the treatment of new forum members and as you are one of those, we'd all appreciate your views.
How much, or for how long did you read before posting for the first time?
How did you feel having made your first post?
What did you think to the replies?
Did you form any sort of opinion on some, or all of the posters?
You're input would be really appreciated, so please be honest.
Pat
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I'm entirely with Pat on this one. Give new members the benefit of the doubt, and make allowances for any perceived oddities or shortcomings, and then judge, if you must, when things have settled down.
This is, as someone pointed out, a motoring forum, but also a hugely entertaining and often instructive general chat forum, attracting a nice crowd of intelligent and amusing people.
It's not an exclusive club or some weird society with arcane initiation rites.
Nor do I see any need for some of the rude comments that have been made.
Gentle digs and a fun-poking are fine, like some of the Rattling good yarns or that one about AC having lost his marbles in the woodshed. :)
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There are two kinds of new members:
- The kind that has taken some time to get to know what the forum is about - a 'longtime lurker' and has decided to break radio silence and join in. Their first post is typically in a thread started by someone else.
- The other kind that pops up and demands to know how to replace the door mirror of a Nissan MummySUV. They'll get a few answers, a few sarcastic remarks about new posters, then wander off and never be seen again.
Fluffy, I think, wants to be the first type. He's noticed that we discuss all kinds of topics and wants to join in. His slightly gauche approach suggests some gentle coaching would help, not general abuse and accusations of trolling. I hope gets the friendly message and sticks around, especially as he seems to be sound on cricket.
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...as one of the "younger" contributors to the forum (by contribution history if not by age), I lurked for a bit, then posted to provide some (hopefully helpful) information.
I then hung around to post on other matters, and am still here.
I was under no illusion as to what a motley crew I was joining, and the general atmosphere of the forum is in line with many such (including being a little bit "full-on" from some posters).
Being ostensibly a motoring forum, then genuine (or even marginally genuine-appearing) posts from new contributors deserve a little decorum in replying, though a bit of humour doesn't go amiss.
On the other hand, posts in the non-motoring section, unless they are obviously so "serious" as to brook no debate, are, IMO, fair game. Anyone checking any of the history of replies to such will soon get the picture.
If Fluffy (or anyone else for that matter) is going to post in the manner he/she has done (on any forum) then he/she had better get accustomed to the general nature of the response (and I'm sure his/her alter ego is entirely aware of the likely outcome).
....and, I'll get all you b*********s back for all the ribbing, one day. ;-)
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Well I'm an experienced and quite active forum user of many forums (including ones on solar power, a few IT, couple about TV, PV cars) and I think our form of welcome is quite unique!! :-)
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I think starting a second new thread on the topic of new members (sorry, new member - the plural is just not likely) is just downright rude. The first was bad enough, this patronising lecture from Pat is worse.
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Whatever I post will always get your disapproval Mappy, and once again, it isn't a lecture or patronising.
Just a topic for debate, which of course you can argue you are doing, but there really is nothing of value in your comment which adds to a debate.
*grabs coat and heads for door*
Pat
Last edited by: Pat on Tue 23 Feb 16 at 10:59
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Pat, please don't call me Mappy. It's not my username, as you are well aware, and it is not my preferred form of address. As self-appointed and sanctimonious arbiter here of what is an acceptable way to treat other posters, I do not know why you do it.
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>>self-appointed and sanctimonious arbiter here of what is an acceptable way to treat other posters
Ha ha ha ha. Bullseye.
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...Bullseye.
...or own goal? Gotta watch those pronouns.
As self-appointed and sanctimonious arbiter ... I do not know why you do it.
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Oooo, a good spot.
Kind of amusing either way though. It should get the hidden frownie people hysterically motivated to click.
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>> Pat, please don't call me Mappy. It's not my username, as you are well aware,
>> and it is not my preferred form of address. As self-appointed and sanctimonious arbiter here
>> of what is an acceptable way to treat other posters, I do not know why
>> you do it.
While I am well up for having a "pop at pat", I'm afraid that I started the "mappy" monika many moons ago, so you can blame me.
Its a pretty innocuous shortening, and I for one think you are being just a teeny bit precious, no sorry I rephrase that, a pretentious pratt - there thats better - by moaning about it.
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"I rephrase that, a pretentious pratt "
I think you're wrong there Zero. There's only one "t" in prat.
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You have mentioned that to me before, but not, I notice to others who call you it.
I tend to give people the same sort of respect I receive from them Mappy, read into that what you will.
Pat
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>> read into that what you will.
That you rarely need to give respect?
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>>You have mentioned that to me before
So you were being gratuitously unpleasant rather than having 'forgotten'. Fair enough, at least I now know. Odd thread to choose, mind.
>> but not, I notice to others who call you it.
You do have a persecution complex for no good reason: e.g.
www.car4play.com/forum/post/index.htm?v=e&t=5148&m=113175
I don't care; I just don't think it's very nice of you.
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Well, there's your answer then.
Be a little bit nicer to me and I might just consider doing the same.
Pat
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Why does he have to go first?
This is like a relative of mine - always offended that I "never call her". Well, there's a telephone at her house, maybe she could pick it up and call me and then I'd reciprocate. She never calls me either.
An unsquarable circle.
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....because he called my post patronising??
So I returned the compliment!
Pat
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Maybe your post was patronising.
Devil's advocate, Pat, no offence intended, before I go back on the list.
;-)
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It certainly wasn't meant to be and it wasn't aimed at any one individual.
I wasn't around much at the weekend and when I got time to look on Monday early hours, quite frankly, I was appalled at some of the comments made to a new poster and it got me thinking how it appears to any new person reading these forums and contemplating joining.
I remember how it was for me, and I have more backbone than a lot of people simply because I'm used to getting the flak from the blokes I work with.
Slightly TIC, I do sometimes wonder if there are one or two on here who would prefer it if there was a Men Only sign on the log in page:-)
Yes, there is hjd but it was ages before anyone knew she was female but any others have been quickly despatched!
It was much the same on HJ, probably still is, and I realise the simple fact that I'm still around after all these years still irks one or two.
But, they have to learn to live with it, 'cos I'm not going anywhere and can take all the flak and rattle a few cages back when I need to.
However, not everyone is like that whether they are male or female and it isn't conducive to encouraging that first post or making them feel at home and stay with us.
Sometimes for a bunch of well educated blokes, some of you can be incredibly thick because I assumed you realised that was where I was coming from when I started a new thread, and it certainly wasn't meant to patronise anyone.
Prick a few people's conscience? Yes, that may well be true!
Pat
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> As self-appointed and sanctimonious arbiter here
>> of what is an acceptable way to treat other posters, I do not know why
>> you do it.
>>
Do you mean:
a) As a sanctimonious ....... I ..... ( Mapmaker)
or
b) As a sanctimonious ..... do not know why you ... (ie Pat)
Interesting point of grammar - does the "As a" refer to "I" or "you" ?
Discuss
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>> Interesting point of grammar - does the "As a"
There is no indefinite article.
>> refer to "I" or "you" ?
>> Discuss
It can obviously theoretically be read either way. I think the context however makes it quite clear. Much as I might hate myself I am so unlikely to write about myself in such uncomplimentary terms that there is no ambiguity.
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>>please don't call me Mappy
You'll find your mistake here, Mr. M Maker, was to enter into a subject that Pat understands; name calling and her own declarations of robustness.
You know, "hold you hat when I get started..." "can cope with anything after years of being with roughty toughty truck drivers" etc etc.
If you stick to the factual discussion subjects then you will normally be outside Pat's comfort zone and thus safe from interruption.
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Give it a rest Mark, it gets incredibly boring after the first few times.....
...and it actually says more about you than you're trying to imply about me too.
Pat
Last edited by: Pat on Tue 23 Feb 16 at 16:57
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"imply" Pat? I wasn't implying anything. I was pretty sure I was out and out stating it.
You are a pain who is largely limited to two subjects. You respond to most things by fantasizing about people trying to drive you out, banging on about how you survive in the rough truck driver environment, try to inspire awe about what it will be like when you *really* start lecturing / shouting / whining and continue to drone on about how other people should treat other people.
There you go, not a single implication. Total statement.
If it bores you, then feel free never to read, acknowledge, respond or even notice anything I ever write again, whether you understand it or not. I doubt if either of us will lose any value.
Cue tired old speech; hah, you'd love it if I ignored you / left the forum / went quiet but I grew up with truck drivers / am really tough / stronger than that and you just wait until I really get started / start whining louder blah blah blah blah blah...........
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The above post from Mark is a perfect example of why we do not attract new posters.
It always has to get personal so who is going to risk that sort of thing?
You accuse me of acting like a, what was it? Rufty Tufty trucker?
Ok then, I will.....
Go find your own b***** fight and leave me and Mapmaker to sort out our own, which we seem to have done.
Politely and with a modicum of respect for each other.
Lesson to be learned Mark.......?
You need to try a bit harder before you get that Men Only sign:)
Pat
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I will do whatever I choose to do, as I always do.
And Men Only? Why would I care about Men Only? You are allowing your own obsession with sexism to show through.
Though if you think that laughing at your contributions is really my concealed "men only" desire, then why on earth do you truly think I care, in any way at all, whether or not you are here?
As for "Go find your own b***** fight" I truly don't know whether you are that hypocritical or that stupid. You consistently wade in to other's disagreements with your sanctimonious and predictable comments.
As for respect, isn't that earned? Isn't it a matter of treating other people with the respect that they treat you? You start treating other people with respect and I may possibly perhaps consider treating you with respect maybe. I believe that is your preferred stance, that the other person goes first?
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>>I will do whatever I choose to do, as I always do.
<<
...and that is the problem.
Sorry Mods if the truth hurts.
Pat
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>>Sorry Mods if the truth hurts
What are you like? Don't you get dizzy up there on the mount?
How pretentious.
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>> I think starting a second new thread on the topic of new members (sorry, new member - the plural is just not likely) is just downright rude. The first was bad enough, this patronising lecture from Pat is worse.
Presumably the first one you refer to was mine entitled "Fluffy". By that time, I'd come to the conclusion that he was taking the mickey (not that I minded) and I still think that.
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>> I think starting a second new thread on the topic of new members (sorry, new
>> member - the plural is just not likely) is just downright rude.
>>
I don't agree. We have had threads before on new members, or rather the difficulties of attracting and keeping new members, and we have had various suggestions in the past about whether there is something about the way established members come over that discourages them.
The first thread is possibly a good example of that, but the subject deserves a wider more general airing. The fact that some people still cannot take the point perhaps proves it.
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....judging by the contents of this thread, the response to/treatment of new forum members is the least of the worries when it comes to intimidation...................
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I think if there were ever proof needed this forum needs an ignore function...
Last edited by: sooty123 on Tue 23 Feb 16 at 17:33
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I had forgotten just how nasty some people can be on this forum. Vicious, vindictive, vitriolic stuff.
Ugh.
I really thought that maybe some of the ones with a record of this sort of thing had toned their behaviour down a bit. Things have seemed reasonable over the last few weeks. And now this.
Someone will tell me I don't have to read it. Absolutely right I don't.
Last edited by: Focal Point on Tue 23 Feb 16 at 17:57
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>> Vicious, vindictive, vitriolic stuff.
>> Ugh.
Yes, deplorable.
Pat is understandable, but FMR seems to have taken everything too much to heart. No doubt there's a reason, but I can't imagine what it is.
Take it easy darlings, OK?
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NoFM has form, I have reminded him that he can be a pompous prat during earlier discussions.
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"Has form"? A few too many Sweeney episodes in your youth?
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Its late, and I haven't had my dinner.
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>> Its late, and I haven't had my dinner.
Get your trousers on, your nicked.
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I can't believe I've wasted 5 mins of my life reading this drivel. An existing member may be put off hanging round let alone a newbie. I've been reading these ever degrading posts in the style of my two kids when they start bickering. One's nine and the other is eleven.
Pathetic. Some of you need your heads knocking together.
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Why does fluffy be attacked for trying to create a debate. I am accussed of being a troll.
Can somebody explain to me what a troll is.
"Let it Be" for what The Beatles said on their last studio album.
I wrote studio album because that is what that album was.
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>> Can somebody explain to me what a troll is.
>>
As you seem to enjoy annoying people on this forum you are obviously well able to use Google.
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Does anybody know what Fluffy has in common with Pres, kennedy?
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Does anybody know what Fluffy has in common with Pres, kennedy?
Nothing..............Yet!
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Not a lot, really. Apart from Catholicism, which is just a badge of convenience. Gnomic insert, order of the day?
Last edited by: NortonES2 on Tue 23 Feb 16 at 19:48
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>> Not a lot, really. Apart from Catholicism, which is just a badge of convenience.
Is fluffy a Catholic as well as being fluffy? I hadn't noticed that.
There are a lot of appalling Catholics I seem to remember. Thank the Lord I'm an unbeliever these days.
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Maybe he's had a grind with Marilyn Monroe?
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He has problems differentiating between facts and opinions.
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He doesn't realise a Berliner is a cream cake, not an inhabitant of Berlin?
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New Forum Members - No FM2R
