Herself goes to bed at 11 and gets up at 8, I go to bed at 2 or 3 and get up at 11. This morning I was awakened by thumping on the window. Looking out I saw Herself clad in a nightie and with bare feet outside in the rain and cold. WTF!
After I let her in, she explained that she had been unable to open the bathroom door from the inside, had gone out of the small bathroom window and come round to the front of the house to get let in. I did manage to open the bathroom door from the outside, but when I tried to open it from the other side it was just jammed. So I extracted the lock mechanism from the door, since there's a brass hook thingy to lock the bathroom from the inside, and reattached the handles, round shiny black ceramic knobs. Afterwards remarked that I was going to murder the next architect I met, but Herself said the builder, not the architect, was the person responsible. By then however my kill-lust had died down a bit, so I'll spare the builder.
The lock mechanism is about six inches long, pressed steel with brass works, and contains a sort of rack and pinion arrangement working against a spring, very simple and sensible. But the rack and pinion had stripped and jammed, bumboclaaat! The square hole for the doorhandle through-spindle had semi-disintegrated in the door causing the trouble. There are no maker's marks on the thing, no idea where it came from.
Another of these things gave trouble years ago and I bashed it up so badly, without removing it, that the door to the room I am in now doesn't shut fully, but that's no problem really, it sort of shuts. All the others work very sweetly given an occasional squirt of lubricant. But I don't trust them any more.
Damn low-grade garbage... I'm too old for this sort of thing. To add insult to injury, Herself claims I was giving 'gales of laughter' when describing the night's travails to the handyman bloke who is often here (none of this is his fault). This is pure slander. A little giggle perhaps, but I'm not heartless when it comes to Herself. She is when it comes to me, but that's different apparently. Tsk.
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We have a simple small bolt and keeper. It has a plastic body in which the metal bolt slides. A roller ball catch keeps the door shut and the bolt is easily 'kicked in ' if any of the grandkids are in bother.
No-one gets stuck in there....not even three old ladies !
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbmYVdgqYb0
I'd have liked to see Mrs Lud shinning down the soil pipe in her nightie !
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>> We have a simple small bolt and keeper. It has a plastic body in which
>> the metal bolt slides. A roller ball catch keeps the door shut and the bolt
>> is easily 'kicked in ' if any of the grandkids are in bother.
>>
I put proper "bathroom/toilet" locks on the doors so that a coin can turn the lock and open the door from the outside.
I did have many years ago a plastic sliding surface bolt.
The clever bit was the part covering the bolt just snapped on.
In an emergency a hard shove on the door popped off the cover which later could be popped on again.
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>> >>
>> I put proper "bathroom/toilet" locks on the doors so that a coin can turn the
>> lock and open the door from the outside.
>>
But not much use if you are stuck inside and cannot make anyone hear your shouts?
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>> I'd have liked to see Mrs Lud shinning down the soil pipe in her nightie !
We're on the ground floor, so it's really more of a jump down onto the decking.
Herself is very limber though. When I first knew her she could do back handsprings, walk 50 yards or more on her hands and cartwheel indefinitely. She was a gymnast.
But she wouldn't do that sort of thing now (she's over 70), and is suffering from a bad back at the moment. The jump from the window made it worse, she says... anyway the bathroom door is definitively fixed.
I feel to blame and quite penitent, shutting the stable door too late to prevent the pony from doing a runner.
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I must seem very pathetic to all you cats who are not only practical and ingenious, as I am, but also energetic and responsible enough to do maintenance in good time, not after the Scheissse hits the fan.
My idleness has always been a great trial to my parents, all my teachers at school and university and all those around me. It's amazing I haven't been murdered myself I sometimes think.
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'Tis early yet, but I vote that the funniest post of 2016:)
Pat
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Some door catches are pretty ropey. We've had two that have ceased up here, despite having an annual squirt of 3-in-1. Fortunately we were not in the rooms at the time, so I was able to nip to the garage for my toolbox.
I subsequently fitted a ball type catch to our cloakroom door as it is not against an outside wall, with no window to holler from.
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I assume AC lives in a bungalow - or does his wife like taking risks?
The latch mechanism on our dining room door had been getting harder to open at times. I took it out and went to get a replacement in the end.... B&Q had nothing of that size. My local locksmith didn't either. It currently has no latch (door handles still there) and I still need to sort it.
I either need to put a different one in and sort out fitting or try to get it from somewhere else. It's smaller than most. What a pain.
It joins the list of jobs I keep trying to sort like the fluorescent behind the mirror lighting in the bathroom. Tubes are non standard size and now you can't get them (you could a few years ago). So either risk buying on eBay or swap the light fittings in the mirror. But when do I ever get time in the week to do it.... never. I might put LED lighting in there and be done with it.
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A bit OT, I know, but ever since buying the current mansion (!), we have been concerned about the complete lack of fire escapable windows upstairs, so we have bitten the bullet and ordered two replacement windows for both bedrooms. We are also replacing a failed double glazed panel in the patio door.
SWMBO has nagged me into replacing our plain vanilla front door, with summat a bit fancier, so on order is a composite door in black, with two vertically orientated decorative windows and nice door furniture.
Total for the lot, by going to a local supplier - around £1350, which I think is a decent price.
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Having some expertise in door fastenings and door furniture I find that the "big names" Union and Legge have disappeared or been diluted to the point that they bear no resemblance to their quality in the late 70s - really cheap and nasty bits of kit. Chinese unbranded stuff is crap. You're right to blame the architect. Go for lever handles far easier to handle than knob-sets. Our house was expensively specc'd in the door furniture area but the the latches are poorly made.
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>> A bit OT, I know, but ever since buying the current mansion (!), we have
>> been concerned about the complete lack of fire escapable windows upstairs,
We are fully double glazed with internal glazing beads.
My upstairs fire escape precautions are a pound shop hammer and wood chisel. It only takes a minute or two to remove the beads with the chisel and escape onto the extension flattish roof and safety.
I've just changed the units in that window to clear glass so I know how quick it is. Was bathroom, now in process of being bedroomized. Any upstairs window will be the same here. I fitted them all.
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>> Was bathroom, now in process of being bedroomized. Any upstairs window will
>> be the same here. I fitted them all.
Where are you going to wash your grubby little body, Ted?
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>> Where are you going to wash your grubby little body, Ted?
>>
'Ere you....Less of the little !
Just put the bathroom back in it's original, smaller, room.
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>>Where are you going to wash your grubby little body, Ted?
In the pubic swimming pool of course!
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I stayed at a bedsit during my first years of employment. Second floor and no way was the staircase fireproof. So in my wardrobe lived a proper climbing rope, a harness, a few shackles and a figure of eight. My fire escape in other words.
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>> I assume AC lives in a bungalow - or does his wife like taking risks?
No, it's a house, shared at weekends and during holidays by numerous relations. But we live on the ground floor - see my earlier post - and even the upstairs windows are within a fairly athletic jump/drop to the surrounding ground.
Herself doesn't like taking risks at all, she's very cautious. But - see earlier post - she's quite a gymnast... old habits die hard when the, er, chips are down.
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Inspired by this thread - I know that's pathetic too - I've taken the lock out of the door into this room.
In fact the doors don't really need mechanisms, they stay shut by themselves without needing to be jammed with wads of paper or anything. The only draughty place in the house, which is warm and double glazed, is the hall, because of the cat flap. I suppose the fireplace in the main sitting room draws air in from somewhere, but it doesn't make noticeable draughts.
It isn't a bad gaff at all actually. I'm not really complaining!
Pedantic footnote: the door-latch mechanisms aren't six inches long but more like four and a half from base to tongue-tip. When you look at things closely they seem bigger. That's my excuse.
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Fri 12 Feb 16 at 19:31
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Further pedantic footnote: getting the mangled lock out of the door into this room involved extreme violence with a big hammer and sharp screwdriver, slightly damaged in the process, damn! to cut the head off a bent screw.
After that it was a doddle with pliers. Now the battered door-edges will reproach me until I do something about them and make them look falsely tidy. Some sort of gunge probably and a lick of paint.
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Obscure and way off topic thread drift alert...
You mention your sleeping habits AC, and both you and Lady AC seem to be asleep for up to 9 hours each night?
That seems like quite a lot to me anyway? Can't really think when either I or the Countess D'Hills would have been asleep for more than 6 hours a night. Not sure what's "normal" but we'd probably go to bed around midnight and get up at about 6.00 ish most week days ( unless I've got to do a stupid o'clock start )
At weekends we would mostly have the same amount of sleep but move the times forward an hour in going to bed averagely around 01.00 and getting up at +/- 07.00.
Mildly curious to know if others are similar in their habits or not?
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Normally around the same as you. Very seldom go to bed before midnight, usually around 1 o'clock. Normally get up around 7.30 now I no longer work. Perhaps an hour later on Sunday.
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That'd be a bit too little sleep for me. Usually in bed for 10 or more than likely earlier and i get up about 6 am. On a weekend, and if I've nothing on I'd go to bed about 11 then get up about 7.30.
takes me a while to drop off to sleep, so not as much sleep as you'd think. Not sure why, always has taken me quite a while to fall asleep regardless of what I've been doing.
Functioned on less of course, but not my thing.
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Maybe, I don't know of course, but maybe, it's your body telling you that it doesn't actually need that much sleep?
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I'm not asleep all the time when in bed. I read before turning the light off, often for a couple of hours.
Similarly, I wake up quite early quite often, and spend an hour or two trying to go back to sleep.
I said I was idle, not that I was a sloth.
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Aye, fair enough !
I dunno, but I get quite cross with myself if I stay in bed "too long", it always kind of morbidly occurs to me that I'll spend quite enough time lying on my back with my eyes closed, oblivious to the outside world in due course...
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I never go to bed until I'm tired, so the time varies. Radio 5 live on sleep timer for 30 mins and rarely hear it click 'off'. Usually up by 7.30 or 8, after 6 and a half to 7 hours sleep. Can function on much less, but this regime seems to suit me.
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I don't think so no, it's about half an hour to drop off. Going by others when sharing rooms/ accomodation i think that's quite a while. Six hours wouldn't be enough really for me. I can do it and have but like i said it's not for me. If i stay up later i just wake up later.
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>> You mention your sleeping habits AC, and both you and Lady AC seem to be
>> asleep for up to 9 hours each night?
Pendant Corner.
That should be Lady C, not Lady AC, Shirley?
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>>
>> That should be Lady C, not Lady AC, Shirley?
>>
Very good :)
But perhaps Lady Armelia is an earl's daughter ?
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Mrs B and I had a similar episode about three yrs ago.
I was still notionally based in London but on a work from home day. She had a booking to be in a school half a county away and got into en suite shower c07:45 while I was meant to go downstairs and make a pot of tea. Trouble was I couldn't get out of the bedroom as the handle was no longer enagaged with the latch!
Fortunately The Lad was still in 6th form and dozing in bed. Managed to rouse him to go downstairs and get tools and with instruction, notwithstanding he's inherited my Dad's inability to use any tool except perhaps a hammer, he managed to let us out.
Otherwise we'd have been shouting or telephoning neighbour with keys and hoping she could sort us out. She's a resourceful lady in mid sixties and probably more useful with a screwdriver than The Lad!!
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I rarely get into bed before midnight, I'm on here or looking at stuff on the youtube. Usually can't sleep for an hour. Get up about 0915 in Winter when I've nothing urgent on. Go for a swim about 1000 and then my day can start......with another coffee at home.....and the paper.
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I usually go to bed at about 10.30 and wake up at 5.
I have the unusual ability of being able to fall asleep at will. My head touches the pillow, I think "I'll go to sleep now", and I'm out.
I've never understood insomnia. Just think about something interesting you are planning for tomorrow, and then switch off and go there.
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Here's another odd sleep thing from me. I would never consider sleeping during the day or want to, unless I'm on an aeroplane in which case I'm often sparked out before the the thing has even taken off no matter what time it is. On short haul flights usually I don't wake until the wheels bump on the destination runway.
On long haul flights I still tend to doze or sleep most of the way but usually find the time for a vodka and tomato juice which, as previously mentioned elsewhere is something else I'd never bother with unless I was on a flight.
I haven't tried to rationalise any of the above, but it does seem to be an ingrained habit.
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That's one thing I've never been able to sleep wise, sleep on an aircraft. One of the reasons why i dislike flying. After maybe 10 mins, i just wake up. I need to be lying down to sleep.
No idea why just one of those things i guess.
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>>I need to be lying down to sleep.
Pelicans are able to sleep standing up ... and on one leg.
Just saying.
:}
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A marvelous bird is the pelican
His beak can hold more than his belly can
He can store in his beak
Enough food for a week
And I don't know how the hell 'e can.
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Dogs, on the other hand, often sleep with their noses up their back bottom.
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>>Dogs, on the other hand, often sleep with their noses up their back bottom.
Wheel arches I call them. Milo often used to sleep with his head tucked under his rear thighs [quite cute actually]
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I can't sleep with my watch on........home, caravan, hotel or mistress's....no way !
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I can't sleep with my feet covered. Have to have them hanging out below the duvet no matter what the temperature. Drives "her" nuts. And, I like to sleep with the curtains open, I like to "see" the night. "She" wants total darkness.
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"She" wants total darkness.
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I'm the same, i bought some of those blackout liners from down under for blocking out the light. Although I used to work alot of nights so i wouldn't get up until the afternoon and needed them to sleep.
Probably a hangover over from that.
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Sounds like we'd be incompatible in bed Sooty. I'm almost certainly delighted to say!
:-))
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Small mercys eh? ;)
Anyway, so who wins the curtain wars at Castle rdh?
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Whoever manages to stay awake the longest.
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Ah so that's why you stay up so late
};--)
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She knows very well that I'll go instantly to sleep after, well, you know...so all I have to do is threaten to open the curtains if she falls asleep first. Every cloud...
:-)))
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"She" would get on well with me - I have the curtains AND the windows open in my boudoir at night whatever the wevver.
And y'all wonder why I sleep alone.
:}
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"I was awakened by thumping on the window. Looking out I saw Herself clad in a nightie and with bare feet outside in the rain and cold. "
Heathcliff, it's me - Cathy. Come home. I'm so cold! Let me in-a-your window.
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I like the window open as well....I do wear sexy thermal socks in Winter though.
We have separate rooms. Have done for over 20 yrs.........you wouldn't catch me sleeping with a married woman !
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My bedroom faces East so is rarely affected by the wind (unless I've been on the veggie burgers) only thing is though - the sun shines in at 5-00am in the summer months [I know about blackout blinds]
Although I like to be cool(ish) in bed, I don't like my plates of meat sticking out from the duvet - goes back to when I was a kyd and thought the boogie man who lived under the bed would get them.
:)
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Ah, the man under the bed ! You're like me Bonzo....After using the toilet, I had to get downstairs before the flush stopped filling or the Loonies in the Loo would get you.
It was only when I turned 40 that I realised it was just a scam of me ole mam's to get me to flush the loo.
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>>
>> I like the window open as well....I do wear sexy thermal socks in Winter though.
>>
>> We have separate rooms. Have done for over 20 yrs.........you wouldn't catch me sleeping with
>> a married woman !
>>
Who snores?
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>>Who snores?
The two dogs (canine ones) downstairs.
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I've been told it's me...can't believe it. But she's like Big Bertha pushing a train up the Lickey Bank !
It's earplugs for both in the caravan since I came in to sleep instead of in the awning. Gonna change the porous alloy wheel tomorrow for the steel spare......got a nice plastic trim from the local caravan place for three squid the other day. Sick of getting the pump out all the time.
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I agree with Ms someone that total darkness is required for sleep. Not easy to achieve here though. I wrap my head in blankets as I always have, but light seeps through if there is any. And unless the weather is decently cold I get hot and sweaty.
Apparently I have thin translucent eyelids. Most inconvenient.
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>> I wrap my head in blankets as I always have, but light
>> seeps through if there is any. And unless the weather is decently cold I get
>> hot and sweaty.
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00O8NSK4S
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Try blackout lined curtains. e.g.
www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-barathea-blackout-lined-pencil-pleat-curtains/p1926244?colour=Red
Not pushing JL but just an example. When we looked for curtains last (still looking) we used the torch/flash facility on my phone to see how much light was let through.
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>> www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00O8NSK4S
My sister has one of those made of black lace. But they seem a bit fussy and effeminate to me. I'm a fairly restless sleeper so it would be sure to come off anyway.
Cheap though.
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Tue 23 Feb 16 at 13:55
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"I agree with Ms someone that total darkness is required for sleep."
Indeed. It is a well known fact that nobody living North of the Arctic circle sleeps at all in Summer. Mind you they sleep all winter. ;-)
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As previously mentioned, I like to "see" the night. When I was a child I lived near an airport/RAF base. My attic bedroom overlooked the flight path and I can remember watching the fast jets and of course the passenger aircraft coming and going from my vantage point in bed. In those days the elfs hadn't been making too much fuss about noise etc so when the Lightnings took off they, just about in line with my bedroom window, stood them on their tails on full afterburner and shot almost vertically into the sky. Thrilling sight and sound for anyone but for a small boy...
No, I feel I will be spending quite enough time ( eternity? ) lying down in total darkness and silence in due course to want to experience too much of that while I'm still breathing !
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Rubbish door fastening mechanisms - Ted
