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"Where have you worked?" hasn't occurred yet in the sequence, so I thought we might cut to the nitty gritty.
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None, hopefully.
Both of us have donated our used up bodies to medical research.
(Saves the cost of a funeral, if the lumps of meat are accepted!
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A funeral is essential - for those still living, friends, relatives of the deceased. To try to prevent any marking of one's passing is as futile as it is unkind.
What happens to the dead body is a side-issue, though if something productive can come out of it, that's good. (As per Roger.)
I shall leave a few instructions about a non-religious ceremony. Costs will be minimal. I hope people who knew me will remember me for a while, but not grieve too much.
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Yeah low-key cremation for me. The house where I was brought up backed onto one of the largest cemeteries in the UK (City of London) and while is was a peaceful place to live, and I had a unmatchable supply of conkers from the trees overhanging our garden, it struck me even back then what a waste of space being buried was.
The thread ought to also include any musical requests.
Mine is Mother Earth by Memphis Slim and Canned Heat, lovely swinging blues beat and words which make a lot of sense, about us all being the same at the end of the day.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgumG8abES0
PS SWMBO has said she won't play it as she doesn't like blues...
Last edited by: smokie on Sun 26 Jul 15 at 13:20
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>>
>> (Saves the cost of a funeral, if the lumps of meat are accepted!
>>
Is that true? It sounds a good finance planning ploy. But it's hard to believe the lucky recipients assume total responsibility for all the disposal costs. Perhaps it's like leaving a property to the National Trust - they only take it if it comes with a hefty endowment.
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>> >> (Saves the cost of a funeral, if the lumps of meat are accepted!
>> >>
>> Is that true? It sounds a good finance planning ploy. But it's hard to believe the lucky >>recipients assume total responsibility for all the disposal costs. Perhaps it's like leaving a >>property to the National Trust - they only take it if it comes with a hefty endowment.
This is what King's College do - my local recipient of bodies for donation.
www.kcl.ac.uk/lsm/study/departments/anatomy/lao/donation/index.aspx
"Funeral Service
At the time of the donation the next of kin or executor will be sent forms asking for their
decision regarding the eventual disposal of the body. They will be given a choice of the
following alternatives:
a. Arranging a funeral themselves at a place of their choice. In such
circumstances all expenses involved in such arrangements become the
responsibility of the next of kin or executors. The LSECA is unable to
make a contribution towards private funeral costs.
b. Instructing the London Anatomy Office to make funeral arrangements. If
the London Anatomy Office arranges the funeral, a cremation will be
conducted (currently at South London Crematorium between the hours of
8.30am and 10.00am) and all costs will be met by the London Anatomy
Office. If this is the preferred option they will then be given further options:
i. To be notified of the date and time of the cremation
ii. To attend the service at cremation. This is a short committal service
which lasts for approximately 10 minutes.
iii. To take possession of the ashes".
Last edited by: Duncan on Sun 26 Jul 15 at 15:17
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I have always understood, since I was in my teems , that the cheapest funeral was to leave your body ( preferably when you are not old) t to medical science.
It used to be said "The total cost was X pennies which was to pay for a phone call from the local telephone call box.
My daughter got her wish to attend a medical school that still used donated bodies.
She was always very appreciative of those families that agreed to their relatives wishes.
I recall that there was a service every year to recognise and remember all those that had donated that year.
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If I had Lud's sort of money, I'd like my body to be launched into space in some sort of capsule.
I been thinking for a number of years of how I can avoid having a funeral, but more importantly [to me] of avoiding having some dude cut me open to see what I'd died of.
A couple of ideas I've had along those lines (1) to catch the ferry from Fishguard to Rosslare, and take a dip en route. (2) to end my days up at Montana Blanca, Tenerife, at an isolated spot I know well, then to stop eating and just drift off eventually all peacefully like.
Both these idea's depend on my having some sort of terminal illness of course, or even reaching an age where I'll think, enough is enuff, and it's time to throw in the towel.
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>> If I had Lud's sort of money, I'd like my body to be launched into
>> space in some sort of capsule.
there is too much junk in space already.
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>>there is too much junk in space already.
And too many buried hosts awaiting the judgement day.
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Simple cremation, pre-paid with Co-op (saves on inheritance tax), ashes to be scattered on nearby Poole Harbour, where we pottered a bit in years gone by.
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>> Simple cremation, pre-paid with Co-op (saves on inheritance tax),
Funeral expenses are deductible from the estate, so IHT is not a factor.
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>> up at Montana Blanca, Tenerife, at an isolated spot I know well
Ere tis: G/Earth image goo.gl/8ETI11
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>> "Where have you worked?" hasn't occurred yet in the sequence, so I thought we might
>> cut to the nitty gritty.
>>
But after that, the next thread topic:
Are you planning to go to Heaven or Hell?
What steps have you been taking on earth in order to plan for your prefered destination?
Have you found the concept of Purgatory helpful, and have you made suitable provision for your loved ones to pray for you, erect chantries and endowments, etc in order to hasten your journey?
Are you signed up to any reincarnation schemes?
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I don't believe in funerals so want the absolute minimum spent despatching me.
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I can't see that its important what the [recently] dead person thinks or believes, a funeral is for those left behind and thus up to them. Making ones feelings known makes sense, but the decision is ultimately theirs.
Forcing them to do something is / would be selfish.
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I used to care. Not any more. My first wife's plot has a vacant slot - but I'd prefer to be cremated now. My first wife's funeral was huge affair - her mother's request of a public funeral, my instinct was family only.I had my way in a way by short twilight service the night before at the Church where we got married. She was a private woman and the only time we discussed was anything it pointed towards a small affair.
Last edited by: R.P. on Sun 26 Jul 15 at 14:45
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I've told Mrs O'Reliant that if I should expire before her I want the cheapest funeral possible, and if she wants she can hire a Transit and have a DIY funeral. I do not want her spending a penny more than necessary as she will need as much as she can herself to tide her over the first few difficult months. I couldn't care less about funeral music, I won't be there to hear it.
I have also told her that if I become terminally ill I want NO visitors whatsoever, apart from her. I do not want people to see me dying.
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As a side issue...lots of people now unable to pay for even a basic funeral. Many turn to the state for help, I helped one family who seemed to have a solid case for help but were turned down. Went to appeal and Tribunal on appeal and still didn't get anywhere. They depended on the goodwill of a local undertaker and carry the cost now as a debt. Basic no frills funeral around 5k.
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>> They depended on the goodwill of a local undertaker
>> and carry the cost now as a debt. Basic no frills funeral around 5k.
>>
Basic funeral £5k!!
How do they arrive at that figure?
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>> >> They depended on the goodwill of a local undertaker
>> >> and carry the cost now as a debt. Basic no frills funeral around 5k.
>> >>
>>
>> Basic funeral £5k!!
>>
>> How do they arrive at that figure?
www.funeralzone.co.uk/funeral-organiser/how-to-guides/a-guide-to-funeral-costs
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They depended on the goodwill of a local undertaker
>> and carry the cost now as a debt. Basic no frills funeral around 5k.
>>
Many don't even bother asking for goodwill, they simply don't pay. Plenty of undertakers write off the cost of loads of funerals each year. One reason why they are so expensive.
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I wasn't planning on having one...:-)
If I do, what kind of funeral it will be won't worry me one iota....:-) I won't be here...
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>>
>>
>>
Many don't even bother asking for goodwill, they simply don't pay. Plenty of undertakers write off the cost of loads of funerals each year. One reason why they are so expensive.
>>
I suppose it's not very good publicity for an undertaker to be suing some poor widow claiming poverty.
Gangster Reg Kray's funeral cost a small fortune with the full gangster works, including a horse drawn hearse. The undertakers, W.E. English and Sons never got paid for that.
Mind you, they probably considered it unwise to try and enforce the debt.
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I suppose it's not very good publicity for an undertaker to be suing some poor
>> widow claiming poverty.
Pretty much yes, chasing them hard for the money isn't the done thing. Not always because they can't afford it either, many can afford they just don't pay.
Last edited by: sooty123 on Sun 26 Jul 15 at 17:13
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Assuming the sun doesn't do the job, it will be a cremation as cheaply as possible. I don't like spending money on funerals or weddings.
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>> Assuming the sun doesn't do the job, it will be a cremation as cheaply as
>> possible. I don't like spending money on funerals or weddings.
>>
At least you know a funeral is forever, unlike many weddings.
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Thanks for the replies. Part of my reason for starting the topic was that I went to a funeral recently which was incredibly dreary. I came away thinking that I needed to plan my own, because I'd prefer people to enjoy themselves rather than be miserable. I'm going to talk about it with my loved ones, but I'd like to take some ideas to the discussion. If anyone has been to an enjoyable funeral, I'd really appreciate reading about it (so long as it wasn't for someone you were glad to see the back of!).
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Its not the funeral that makes it dreary, its the people that go.
I come from a big east end family, most of the funerals I go to end up as riotous drunken affairs usually with a big fight breaking out at some stage.
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I would love a Sky Burial on some remote peak in the Sierra Nevada. Not yet allowed for humans, but somewhere in the USA they allow them for pets. Eco friendly, but a bit of a pong and carrying the dead body up the mountain would be hard work!
I've compromised by arranging a woodland burial. No trees are planted, or gravestones used etc, but this particular site has lovely views near where I live. I like the idea of going back to the earth in a wicker basket ( as opposed to that film) and having walked in forested areas where giant pines are slowly reducing to soil over many decades that kind of thing appeals. Money has been left for a farewell bash at my local. The best funerals I have attended have always turned into a booze up, with no one in a fit state to drive home. Darts were thrown, doms & cards played and reminiscences aplenty of happy days.
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Some years ago I went to a funeral held at a farm in Yorkshire which was termed a "green" event and had been arranged in advance by the deceased.
It was a hot July day, the ground was virtually solid clay and we had to dig the hole in which to eventually lower the cardboard coffin containing the deceased's body.
The funeral service was both moving and uplifting and followed by refreshments served from a tent set up nearby in the field. After half-an-hour or so we moved to a well known pub/restaurant popular with the deceased, where he had arranged for all who attended to enjoy a first class meal and all the drinks we wanted.
Overall, the funeral celebrated the deceased's life in style (similar to many Catholic funerals where a life is celebrated) and something I for once will never forget.
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That's pretty much what I have arranged, although the hole in t'ground will already have been dug. Plenty of good food, decent beer, wine, G& Ts and maybe drunken dancing.
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I should think about it at my age but haven't.Nearly lost it about five years ago at the time I didn't care.It is strange when you are close to death it felt peacefull.There is a small cemetery in this village problaby end up there.
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Crem just round the corner, ....5 retorts...no waiting ! I won't be processed there though...our lot use Dunham Lawn crem near Altrincham. Then back without me to The Christie Fields on the A5103 for drinkies, tea and sarnies. Can't afford to feed the hundreds who will come !
Music.........The Slow Train, Flanders and Swan. Mahler....Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen. Humanist service...no black, remember me with a laugh.
My last relative, me ole mam's brother Walter left us about 2 years ago at 94 yrs. Lancashire lad, went in to " Walter, lead me to the altar " and through the curtain to " Sing as we go ". Both Gracie Fields
Style !
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Not considered music yet, thanks for the reminder. One of my local watering holes plays streamed music when quiet. We often request M Jacksons 'Billie Jean' and we sing along to the line 'The chimps not my son''. Makes us laugh so I shall request that as the locals always sing that particular line.
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>> Its not the funeral that makes it dreary, its the people that go.
Too many dead, or drunk, or both ?
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I saw a great cartoon the other day. A vicar was standing on the pulpit over the coffin saying, "And he had 963 Facebook friends".
There was just one person in the congregation.
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So what kind of funeral will you be having? - Roger.
