What a morning.
I noticed three cats all sat looking quizzically at the dining room wall yesterday, where a fireplace used to be. I assumed a spider had crawled under the skirting board.
I got up at 3.30am and heard a strange tapping noise from the same wall and realised there was a bird, down the chimney, where the old fireplace used to be.
By this time Ian had gone to work and so had all the neighbours, so I called the RSPB, who referred me to the RSPCA.
That was an answerphone, and it was still only 8am so I started with the yellow pages to find a handyman to come and release it.
Six phone calls later and not one of them would come and do it despite me offering to pay them whatever they asked in cash.
At 9.30 I tried the RSPCA again and by 11am an Inspector arrived but the bird had gone very quiet.
He explained that it was brick and that he couldn't get into the chimney space without some damage to the plaster and decoration, and was I sure I wanted to go ahead?
Right on cue, we heard the pecking noise again:)
Slegehammer and a chisel were found and he got to work getting the skirting board off and removed a brick.
As soon as the light was showing, out flew a Starling up to the ceiling.
( much to the cat's surprise!)
We coaxed it out of the window and off it flew.
So, I now have a wall with a hole in it, a skirting board lying on the floor and dust everywhere, but it has to be better than knowing something is dying a slow painful death.
The wind has blown a hanging basket down and broken the latch on the gate, so it's all part of life in the Fen, I suppose.
Pat
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So, whats the story ready for when the old man comes home?
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>> So, whats the story ready for when the old man comes home?
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"Hello love, I thought I would open up the old fireplace, nothing like a real fire in the winter ..."
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You were lucky to hear it through the brickwork (or it was lucky you heard it...).
IIWY I'd get a thing fitted on the chimney to keep things out.
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Pat, Yes it was worth it, you know that. Well done. It'll soon be fixed with a bit of mortar, polycell and a couple of nails. But put the cowl on first!
JH
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Well done Pat -
By the way , I would not cover a fireplace at all as it leads to condensation problems if rooms are closed up . At least have a vent of some description to let the air circulate freely.
We had a similar experience in our last place where a starling fell down the chimney behind a gas fire - I tried but could not reach it but eventually my son with smaller hand and arms than me managed to catch it and release into the garden.
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As some of you know, I am part Vulcan and so work on Vulcan logic,
I eat a bird a week as does Lady Dog and, well - the dog as well,
I seem to have read somewhere that cats 'take' the odd bird or 2, occasionally,
Would I have done the same as you in similar circumstances?
probably not, probably.
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Would you like to starve to death slowly, dog?
Pat
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Only you know whether it was worth it Pat. Trapped starlings and three-legged, one-eared cats have a staunch friend in you.
I think I am with Dog though. I'm not sure that in the great scheme of things I would regard the life of one starling as being worth a serious decorating job. I might feel a bit guilty, but I don't think I'd knock a brick out of the sitting room wall to avoid feeling a bit guilty. I'm pretty used to it after all.
After the bird fell silent, I might tell myself that it had probably climbed back up the chimney and flown away. Morally reprehensible, if one were St Francis of Assisi. But practical.
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>>Would you like to starve to death slowly, dog?<<
Of course I'm also part human as well and have saved many sentient beings in my lifetime, why only recently I housed an injured racing pigeon, gave it B&B and launched it westward come the morn,
But knock a brick out of a wall, well ~ I dunno Pat, well done you.
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>> gave it B&B and launched it westward come the morn
Bet it didn't need much launching...
:-)
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and it left a "thank you" note. All down the front of Dog's shirt.
JH
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>>All down the front of Dog's shirt.<<
Tell me about it!! ya should've seen the state of the garage :(
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I had a similar situation some years back. A scrabbling behind the gas fire. Went and got the wrench and took the thing off the wall. Sat back and a little head appeared in the hole.
A starling emerged and flew into the kitchen, crashing into a window.
Then it managed to get above the dropped ceiling, you know, the sort with panels wot the lights are above.
After much removing of panels, I got it back into the room where the stupid thing just ignored the open back door and attempted to smash the windows.
Much wafting of a tea towel eventually led it to the door where it flew off, hopefully with a monster headache !
Take bricks out ?....no chance, sorry Patsy
Ted .
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Well, you'll be pleased to know that Ian is home and pleased as punch:)
The strategy was to tell him how the house was like a bomb site all day, and then anything less is a result!
Pat
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I don't suppose the strategy cut much ice with Ian, Pat. I bet he was onto you from your first dodgy text message.
He just likes you, soppiness and all. My missus is a bit soppy about some things too, but it doesn't put me off her. Quite the contrary in fact.
Mind you, there are limits. But a bit of salty trucker's dialect goes a long way towards balancing things.
:o}
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>> As some of you know, I am part Vulcan and so work on Vulcan logic,
Do you have one normal ear and one pointy ear?
Would have done the same thing as Pat, let me ponder this for a .... Nope not a hope.
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Mr Spock had two pointy ears and he was half 'n half. Funny things them jinnetix.
JH
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>>Do you have one normal ear and one pointy ear?,<<
Vulcan's do have other, eh - attributes you know, but we can't discuss that on a family show.
:)
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>>Vulcan's do have other, eh - attributes you know, but we can't discuss that on a family show.<<
tinyurl.com/vulcanphys
altho' what is not family friendly I have yet to discover.
Yours dissapointedly
p
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...altho' what is not family friendly I have yet to discover...
You only get a bunk-up once every seven years, according to the link.
Not very family friendly as it would lead to a large age gap between siblings.
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>>A Vulcan male, however, is only capable of sex approximately once in seven years<<
I'm only part Vulcan you understand ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZvE8DUcF6A
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What about females? Could be a problem if you're not in sync.
JH
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...What about females? Could be a problem if you're not in sync...
I think it says in the link the female is always capable of being impregnated by the male.
So it's just a matter of patience my dear, patience.
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well if we see any pellets or dead vegetaton we know dog has been around
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Of course it didn't mention the multiple orgasms similar to the female of your species,
or the E spot, not unlike the G spot, but on the ears.
:)
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Mr Spock, and presumably Doggo, actually have three ears, the right, the left and the final front ear.
Ted
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>>Mr Spock, and presumably Doggo, actually have three ears, the right, the left and the final front ear<<
Excellent ~ I wish I'd said that :)
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This thread is bringing a whole new dimension to the phrase "Warp Factor"
I know for sure that........ "my engines cannae take it much longer Captain"
Still have a thing for Lt Uhura mind.....
:-)
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>> Excellent ~ I wish I'd said that :)
You will, Oscar.....you will !
Ted
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This is a reply to Pat's first post as I haven't yet read ANY more. Good on you Gal. This is from a bloke who eyed up the Wood Pigeon population tonight whilst out with best Labrador..
Humanity in all things.
Regards to all...............Martin.
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With that attitude Martin, I can almost forgive the best Labradors attitude to the pigeons!
This afternoon we'll be taking Sid, who's a Retriever, for a walk in the Norfolk countryside ( Ref: How light can you travel post) and that will be a rare treat for us both.
The wind has stopped blowing and the sun is shining this morning, the bones are not good but should improve to allow the trip to be made on the bike.
Paracetomol are packed:)
We really must do something about getting a dog now that I'm at home. We keep going down to the RSPCA kennels at Block Fen to 'just have a walk around' but both feel it a bit unfair to our 3 cats, who are 11 yrs onwards. They are rescue cats and have led an unhappy life, and we think this should be home for them now with no upsets for the rest of their lives.
I know they would get used to an adorable puppy very soon, but we don't do adorable puppies.
It will have to be some one eyed, 3 legged mongrel with an unhappy past that no-one else wants.
But it has to be almost Labrador too, as I love them and the way their tails always wag in a circle, instead of from side to side:)
Pat
Last edited by: pda on Sat 17 Jul 10 at 06:19
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My labs tail goes clockwise, anti clockwise, up, down, left and right.
Sometimes the circular wag is so strong its literally the tail wagging the dog and she losses her footing.
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That's what I love about them.....uncontrollable legs:)
Pat
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I might bring fifi up next weekend....
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The weekend after............31st July!
That would be lovely but she won't be able to run around the yard,
Pat
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Of course, I knew that. (swfitly chnages diary) and yes she will be kept safe int he car.
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Then she'll be very welcome:)
Pat
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Yuc, an obsolete car that smells like a kennel. :)
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....and looks remarkably like one too....
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>> smells like a kennel. :)
... or a Korean larder...
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Had a similar experience to Pat's a few years ago in our previous house. The noises had gone on for most of the day and whatever it was plainly wasn't letting itself out. Mrs Beest, who was at home with two quite little Beests, consulted the RSPCA, but the complication for her was that the bird was behind a gas fire that could be moved only by an approved gas fitter.
One such was duly summoned and did the deed. Mrs B had a towel ready and used it to catch the collared dove as it emerged. It was one we'd noticed before on our chimney - it had a distinctive tuft on its head - and the following week it was back up there. There's gratitude.
There was a benefit to us, though: the gas fire was an ugly old thing that we'd never used because it was too big for the room and we couldn't get far enough away from it. So you could say that the bird prompted us to do what we should have done anyway - although we never did get mesh put on the chimneys.
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Fire, pigeon, roast Hmmmmmmmm (does Homer Simpson impersonation)
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Quite so, Z - although there's not that much meat on a dove. Wood pigeons, on the other hand...
Which makes me think: the WPs in my new garden are taking the Mick, strutting about as if we and the cat weren't there. What would be the easiest, safest, legal device for, erm, harvesting them?
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. What would be the easiest, safest,
>> legal device for, erm, harvesting them?
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.22 air rifle with good telescopic sight, surprisingly expensive to get reasonable quality in both.
I say telescopic not as you won't hit them without, but they are tough birds and you really want a head shot for instant kill.
or much more economical a larsen type trap, useful for magpie control too if needed.
cor she'll give me a right roasting tee hee.
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Was it worth it? - Zero
