Non-motoring > Impaled geezer Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Armel Coussine Replies: 35

 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
... down the same alley where two of my granddaughters (both here tonight as it happens) used to go to school, along with one of the PM's tots, maybe two. Humph knows the enclave too having once parked in it on my advice.

There was a small secluded lawn place with benches. At lunch time office workers would eat their lunch there, but mostly it was a place where winos congregated. The school-run parents and so on avoided eye or any form of contact with them, and being sensible they kept to themselves on the whole.

I suppose the impaled geezer is one of them. Can't remember exactly where the nasty sharp fence is. But what a way to go.
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Thu 30 Oct 14 at 19:21
 Impaled geezer - R.P.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-29815606

For those of us outside the Metropolis...
 Impaled geezer - Old Navy
>>
>> For those of us outside the Metropolis...
>>

I think of the M25 as the border of the ghetto. Calm down Zero, you live (just) outside it.
Last edited by: Old Navy on Thu 30 Oct 14 at 21:41
 Impaled geezer - Zero
>> >>
>> >> For those of us outside the Metropolis...
>> >>
>>
>> I think of the M25 as the border of the ghetto. Calm down Zero, you
>> live (just) outside it.

I was born in the ghetto then. I always knew I had soul bro.
 Impaled geezer - legacylad
The article says three ambulances attended. Why?
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
>> The article says three ambulances attended. Why?

Well, it's a long tight alley that peters out in a complicated way at the bottom end, where turning round is difficult. Surely the emergency services wouldn't dream of leaving a place like that unchoked? It's what they're for. Surely there was a fire engine too?

:o}
 Impaled geezer - Old Navy
Wot no 50' long articulated extending canteen/shower/chill out room/staff PTSD assessment and claims office/major incident control room lorry?
Last edited by: Old Navy on Fri 31 Oct 14 at 07:59
 Impaled geezer - Zero
>> Wot no 50' long articulated extending canteen/shower/chill out room/staff PTSD assessment and claims office/major incident
>> control room lorry?

I think you are being a little unkind and over the top. Don't forget the lorry also acts as the location where you can do the pre incident health and safety briefing, and the post event press and publicity centre. And of course you need to leave it there for a few weeks as the post incident environmental impact assessment centre.

So all in all its good value for money.
Last edited by: Zero on Fri 31 Oct 14 at 09:08
 Impaled geezer - Gromit
"The article says three ambulances attended. Why?"

1. Ambulance control get a call that somebody's been impaled. They don't know how badly injured he is. They need enough manpower to support him properly while they treat him and the fire service cut him free.

2. They are dispatched in ambulances because a) that's the trasnport paramedics are provided with and b) if they're no longer needed, they can be stood down from the job and be dispatched elsewhere immediately.

3. You may have different clinical grades attending, from emergency care assistants - trained as first responders who provide basic care and transport - through to advanced paramedics and possibly trauma doctors who have much wider scope in the drugs and interventions they can use.
 Impaled geezer - R.P.
You're dead lucky in that there Engerland....Wales has only got one second-hand ambulance. You're just dead here.
 Impaled geezer - Zero
>> You're dead lucky in that there Engerland....Wales has only got one second-hand ambulance. You're just
>> dead here.

thats oft been said of the welsh
 Impaled geezer - Cliff Pope
This is a question in bad taste, I know, but here goes:

Who pays for repairing railings etc after the fire brigade have cut them up?
Is there a procedure for retrieving the pieces from the hospital?

Shame about the bloke of course, but annoying to have ones antique ironwork hacked about and unique finials and scroll-work vandalised. If it's a listed building the owner might be required to carry out a full restoration.
 Impaled geezer - Robin O'Reliant
My MiL lived in a mobile home on the grounds of her daughters place, a convenient arrangement for all as they were at hand to look after her but she wasn't under their feet (She could be an awkward old soul in her latter years). There was a very short set of steps leading to her front door next to the main dwelling. When she died in residence the paramedics turned up, along with plod to make sure the family hadn't done away with her, and when it was duly decided she had expired through natural causes the time came to remove the corpse which probably weighed 7 1/2 stone tops. Under 'elf & safety rules both plod and the paras decided it was too risky to lift her out on their own despite my brother in law's offer of help in case they ruptured something or slipped and broke a limb, so the fire brigade were summoned and due to their extensive training in humping stuff about were fully certified to shift MiL's expired remains down the steps, round the corner and into the ambulance.

It was apparently quite an attraction in the village, the population of which turned out en mass to see whether it had been the target of a nuclear attack or a terrorist atrocity of some sort. The whole show lasted for over three hours. MiL would have been delighted at the chaos and mayhem her last gasp had brought about.
Last edited by: Robin O'Reliant on Fri 31 Oct 14 at 16:03
 Impaled geezer - Zero
>> My MiL lived in a mobile home

I always thought there was a touch of the pie key about you.
 Impaled geezer - Robin O'Reliant
>>
>> I always thought there was a touch of the pie key about you.
>>

Wish I had a Pie Key's tax bill.
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
>> Wish I had a Pie Key's tax bill.

Well, Mr - O'Reilly is it? Sorry, Mr O'Relative - according to our records you owe quite a healthy sum in back income tax, essentially for profit gained from the services of the 617 Polish slaves known to have passed through your employment... 120 of whom are missing, possibly deceased.... we want to question you about that too... and certain allegations have been made by a Miss Abashiewicz. Is that a name you know sir?
 Impaled geezer - Runfer D'Hills

>> Is there a procedure...

I suppose it'd be worth asking but I'd give odds someone would be certain to say you were missing the point.
 Impaled geezer - Zero
>>
>> >> Is there a procedure...
>>
>> I suppose it'd be worth asking but I'd give odds someone would be certain to
>> say you were missing the point.
>>

Not one for sitting on the fence are we.
 Impaled geezer - Old Navy
>> "The article says three ambulances attended. Why?"
>>

When one of my grand daughters was a baby (she was very premature) she had breathing difficulties and wore a monitor while asleep as she could occaisionally forget to breathe, on one occaision she was having problems breathing due to an infection, the response to a 999 call was -

1. A rapid response paramedic in a car.

2. A single crewed ambulance. Unable to transport and care at the same time but assisted the paramedic.

3 A double crewed ambulance which transported her to hospital.

All arrived within 20 minutes, paramedic within 10, Excellent responce in St Andrews, a semi rural area.
 Impaled geezer - R.P.
Seriously, it's pretty crap in Wales at the moment. There was a report in the paper this morning about a 20 minute wait for a murder victim in Wrexham (implies he was still alive at the time they were called) eventually an ambulance from Shropshire attended....there's a story every day either on the telly or in the paper and this mob in charge are doing nothing. On the fence voters in England should really look hard at what these Labour clowns are doing here.
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
>> On the fence voters in England should really look hard at what these Labour clowns are doing here.

Oh, really RP. Why don't you think of them as Welsh clowns? Will the emergency services come more quickly if the damn freemasons ever win an election there? Wrexham's in the borderlands anyway, Shropshire not too far when services are stretched. You Tory bigot you.
 Impaled geezer - R.P.
:-) ...... I'm a Plaid Cymru bigot thank you so very much !
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
Ah. Even worse, but explains a lot.

:o}
 Impaled geezer - R.P.
At least they have a semblance of socialism about them
 Impaled geezer - CGNorwich
" On the fence voters in England should really look hard at what these Labour clowns are doing here."

Well there's one "on the fence" voter who said he won't be voting Labour. He didn't see the point.

Last edited by: CGNorwich on Fri 31 Oct 14 at 18:26
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
What is this 'on the fence' stuff? It shouldn't be beyond anyone to pick a candidate or party that seems to best represent their own view. And if it does seem beyond you, vote as your parents voted or should have voted, knee-jerk style. Better than not doing your civic duty by voting, surely?

On the fence be damned. The nation awaits your decision with bated breath. Or rather, it doesn't give a toss.
 Impaled geezer - Kevin
>What is this 'on the fence' stuff?

It's called humour AC. Something you seem to be having trouble with lately.

Impaled geezer - On the fence. Geddit?
 Impaled geezer - Old Navy
ACs cloud of intoxicating smoke must be a bit dense. :)
Last edited by: Old Navy on Fri 31 Oct 14 at 19:20
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
You think RP meant it like that? Perhaps he did. But you may be over-interpreting.

(Quiet at the back there, and cork that bottle of Navy rum immediately!)
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Fri 31 Oct 14 at 19:22
 Impaled geezer - R.P.
I was surprised it took you so long....must be the vertigo !
 Impaled geezer - Old Navy

>> (Quiet at the back there, and cork that bottle of Navy rum immediately!)
>>

No chance, I don't want to get scurvy.
 Impaled geezer - Zero
>>
>> >> (Quiet at the back there, and cork that bottle of Navy rum immediately!)
>> >>
>>
>> No chance, I don't want to get scurvy.

go suck a lime
 Impaled geezer - Old Navy

>> >> No chance, I don't want to get scurvy.
>>
>> go suck a lime
>>

I will stick with rum, I have not had scurvy yet so I know it works. :)
 Impaled geezer - Ambo
Maybe the victim was a suicide who had been reading Virginia Woolf. There is an incident like this in her novel "Mrs Dalloway".
 Impaled geezer - Runfer D'Hills
In Edinburgh on the south side of Princes Street, there are railings separating the pavement from Princes Street gardens. Every so often there is a park bench backing on to the railings. There are gates of course but a shortcut was to run at a bench, spring up onto and off it and jump over the railings. The added complication is that on the other side of them are rose beds and quite a steep downward grass bank so you had to have enough momentum not only to get over the railings but also to clear the rose beds and be able to keep running down the grass bank on the other side. All this seems perfectly reasonable when you are a teenager.

It works very well in fact until the strap of your Adidas bag loops around the top of the railings on the way over.

This causes at the very least an amount of instability in your proposed flight path and if you also happen to have the bag worn across your body at the time leads to an abrupt halt mid air and an involuntary plummet into the rose bushes which being planted on a slope conspire only to slow your descent while lacerating any exposed flesh and not especially or at all improving the appearance of your school uniform.

The park keepers are strangely and deeply unsympathetic to these sorts of events and can get quite aerated about them.
 Impaled geezer - Armel Coussine
When young, I climbed over spiked railings to get in or out of parks on a few occasions. Always an anxious moment or two. Nothing except fear of certain death would make me attempt it now.
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