Non-motoring > The "If I was in power" thread.	Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Zero	Replies: 88

New Mon 29 Sep 14 18:40   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

If I was in power..... Just been on a long W/E in the North ZommerZet and North Devon area. Been a while since I was there, and I was amazed that such large areas (some of them with sizeable populations) have poor to no mobile phone signal, 3G being a rarity, If I was in charge, I would force the phoneco's to get as near 99% population access to 3g, before I let them roll out 4g anywhere else. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 18:48   The "If I was in power" thread. - Crankcase

If I was in power I'd be using the subjunctive, so it would be if I were in power. Except if I were it wouldn't be subjunctive any more, so..oh dear. I knew you'd like that. Back on track, I thought darling David Cameron had a bee in his bonnet about this one, and he IS in power. I'll email him. Last edited by: Crankcase on Mon 29 Sep 14 at 18:50 Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 18:57   The "If I was in power" thread. - Runfer D'Hills

If I were in power, oh would that that were so. I would dis-invent mobile phones, or at least I'd dis-invent everyone else's. I'd probably keep mine. But only for outgoing calls. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 29 Sep 14 18:58   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

If I were in power, I would move this to the correct section - that being general discussion! -----> Kick Last edited by: VxFan on Mon 29 Sep 14 at 21:34 Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 18:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> I would dis-invent mobile phones, or at least I'd dis-invent everyone else's. I'd probably keep >> mine. But only for outgoing calls. you can't disinvent things, power means BANNING things. You don't quite have the right megalomaniacal attitude for this power trip really do you. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:03   The "If I was in power" thread. - Runfer D'Hills

No probably not. But I do have a black car. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:06   The "If I was in power" thread. - Crankcase

How about a little eugenics, if we want megalomania? Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:25   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> How about a little eugenics, if we want megalomania? Only room for one of them. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:12   The "If I was in power" thread. - Armel Coussine

>> But I do have a black car. Half the battle Humph. I was thinking that if I were in power I would have quite a lot of black cars. Big ones. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:24   The "If I was in power" thread. - Fullchat

I'd call i'd let the RAF practice on telephone sales call centres. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:31   The "If I was in power" thread. - Fullchat

That should read: I'd let the RAF practice on telephone sales call centres. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 08:05   The "If I was in power" thread. - wokingham

Like the police , some of whom are now "Services", we only have a Royal Air Service! Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:27   The "If I was in power" thread. - Kevin

>No probably not. But I do have a black car. A Mercedes? Like this one? tinyurl.com/yzu2pe2 Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:29   The "If I was in power" thread. - Runfer D'Hills

That's blue isn't it? Wait a sec... Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:32   The "If I was in power" thread. - Armel Coussine

They were nice Kevin. But there was another Grosser Mercedes made in small numbers, at an eyewatering price, for heads of state and the like, in the sixties I think. Huge ugly brick of a thing, lots of chrome, unheard-of bells and whistles all over it, very fast indeed in the right hands. Be damn hard to get hold of one now. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 19:34   The "If I was in power" thread. - Runfer D'Hills

I had a toy one of those in the 60s AC. Dinky or Corgi almost certainly. Maroon. thumbs4.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/m8-KSzgco8xNXcXhdEXAYhg.jpg Last edited by: Runfer D'Hills on Mon 29 Sep 14 at 19:39 Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 29 Sep 14 20:36   The "If I was in power" thread. - MD

You didn't call in. Was it something I said? >>North Devon area. Been a while since I was there, and I was amazed that such large areas (some of them with sizeable populations) have poor to no mobile phone signal, 3G being a rarity. Don't we know it Zeddo and it keeps getting worse. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 09:01   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> You didn't call in. Was it something I said? The lure of the cream tea next door was better. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 11:30   The "If I was in power" thread. - Chas

>> Just been on a long W/E in the North ZommerZet and North Devon area. Been >> a while since I was there, and I was amazed that such large areas (some >> of them with sizeable populations) have poor to no mobile phone signal, 3G being a >> rarity, >> >> >> If I was in charge, I would force the phoneco's to get as near 99% >> population access to 3g, before I let them roll out 4g anywhere else. >> A relative of mine works in cell site engineering for one of the major mobile networks. Truth of the matter is that they always want to improve the coverage in marginal areas but there is always a battle to establish new transmitter sites as there is always opposition from the locals. These are the same people who will moan about the coverage. It's a no win situation. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 12:01   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> Truth of the matter is that they always want to improve the coverage in marginal >> areas but there is always a battle to establish new transmitter sites as there is >> always opposition from the locals. These are the same people who will moan about the >> coverage. It's a no win situation. I figured as much, and I sympathise with the telcos, but on the other hand they could be a lot more creative and flexible with the use of internet connected femtocells, (O2 could offer and installed them to people other than business customers for example) Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 20:03   The "If I was in power" thread. - zippy

If I were in power..... SWMBO would have something to say about that! ;-) Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 20:18   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

Is not the government view that the way forward is inter-network roaming in rural areas. The phone companies would prefer relaxation of planing rules allowing taller masts to cover a larger radius. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 20:29   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> Is not the government view that the way forward is inter-network roaming in rural areas. >> The phone companies would prefer relaxation of planing rules allowing taller masts to cover a >> larger radius. Too many dips ridges and valleys for that to work in some areas. The way forward, like most things, is flexibility and a balance. Not sure high lattice towers is acceptable in areas of outstanding natural beauty, and fortunately the North Devon / Somerset coast is not blighted by wind farms. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 30 Sep 14 22:16   The "If I was in power" thread. - Fursty Ferret

If I was in power... .******** [You have a word I MADE UP in the swear filter?] Anyway, I'd make it illegal to be EE. You know, the phone company. I'd also get rid of Garmin. They do actually make nice stuff, but they're do that *thing* where they have three or four identical products but simply running different software. Price doubles with each one. They've lost their motivation to innovate and have an equally poor attitude to customer service and support. And Tesco. Because, well, it's Tesco. Last edited by: Fursty Ferret on Tue 30 Sep 14 at 22:17 Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 1 Oct 14 01:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - Auntie Lockbrakes

I managed to leave my iPhone in Hong Kong airport last Wednesday. It is safe and well and is on its way back to me by courier as I type. Have I missed it? Not at all, after the first 12 hours of panic. It has been quite liberating this week relying on using a landline when one is to hand, and gathering email the old fashioned way a few times/day on the laptop. We really have become addicted to our phones! Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Sun 5 Oct 14 21:12   The "If I was in power" thread. - Runfer D'Hills

When I'm in power, one of the smalll but immediate things I'll arrange for is anyone who bursts into tears when they win/lose/get voted through/don't get voted through, on a TV talent show to be humanely but swiftly disposed of. It will then be pointed out to subsequent contestants that getting a grip will be a requirement. Actually I might circumnavigate all the above by banning TV talent shows. Reply to this message | Report message       3

New Sun 5 Oct 14 21:41   The "If I was in power" thread. - Robin O'Reliant

If I was in power I'd turn into the sort of mad dictator who'd be reviled by any decent right thinking person. What fun I'd have! Reply to this message | Report message

New Sun 5 Oct 14 22:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - bathtub tom

>>anyone who bursts into tears when they win/lose/get voted through/don't get voted through I won a driving skills competition back in the '70s that gave me a year's tax and insurance as a prize. I confess to becoming more than a little moist eyed. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 08:17   The "If I was in power" thread. - Cliff Pope

>> When I'm in power, one of the smalll but immediate things I'll arrange for is >> anyone who bursts into tears when they win/lose/get voted through/don't get voted through, on a >> TV talent show >> And anyone who goes round hugging all the other entrants and the judges. In fact anyone who goes round hugging people. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 09:47   The "If I was in power" thread. - Roger.

I'd ban "reality" TV, the X factor, Strictly Come Dancing and 95% of the cheap-to-make TV quiz shows. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 09:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - Cliff Pope

On second thoughts, as dictator the most important thing would be to keep the masses happy with panem et circenses. So I'd need to increase the number of awful reality shows, and cut out all serious news reports and discussions. Probably reduce the price of alcohol, gaming tax, and abolish all pub opening restrictions. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 10:26   The "If I was in power" thread. - Ted

I'd set up a factory to make a batch of Jowett Javelin front wings. Then, when we had enough, to make all the other bits needed by owners. Otherwise...I'm not bovvered. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 10:39   The "If I was in power" thread. - Bromptonaut

All microwaves to have identical controls..... Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 6 Oct 14 10:46   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> All microwaves to have identical controls..... If they did, people would blame the EU for lack of choice. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 6 Oct 14 12:32   The "If I was in power" thread. - henry k

>> >> All microwaves to have identical controls..... >> >> If they did, people would blame the EU for lack of choice. >> Do not mention it else another department will be set up. What I have noticed is that most stand alone microwaves are targeted at the consumer who just wants to heat instant grub on a plastic tray. We sometimes want to heat food on a plate so we took one of our plates with us when choosing a replacement oven so as to ensure it fitted rather than trust a tape rule. We finished up with a heat it, grill it, xxx it, all swinging version which we just use as a simple microwave. Yeh, Yeh, I know it might be cheaper to get smaller plates which help one to diet ;-) Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 12:13   The "If I was in power" thread. - Old Navy

>> All microwaves to have identical controls..... >> And all supermarket self service checkouts to be identical. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 12:37   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> >> All microwaves to have identical controls..... >> >> >> >> And all supermarket self service checkouts to be identical. I would order a gun to be made, one that fires off 40 rounds per minute fixed to my belt buckle. It would automatically fire when a screens says "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA" Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 16:17   The "If I was in power" thread. - Old Navy

>>I would order a gun to be made, one that fires off 40 rounds per >> minute fixed to my belt buckle. It would automatically fire when a screens says "UNEXPECTED >> ITEM IN BAGGING AREA" >> Someone must have heard you. tinyurl.com/n4ynpew Last edited by: Old Navy on Mon 6 Oct 14 at 16:18 Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 12:19   The "If I was in power" thread. - spamcan61

>> All microwaves to have identical controls..... >> Like he said. Those controls will consist of a hardware switch with two positions - 'defrost' and 'full throttle' and an analogue hardware dial for cooking time. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 12:46   The "If I was in power" thread. - Manatee

>> Like he said. Those controls will consist of a hardware switch with two positions - >> 'defrost' and 'full throttle' and an analogue hardware dial for cooking time. Just like the first 'Tricity' microwave we must all have had in about 1981. I preferred the 'ding' to the bleeps too. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 12:22   The "If I was in power" thread. - henry k

>> All microwaves to have identical controls..... >> This has certainly been previously requested by a UK millionaire. He was on a program about folks with lots of money etc etc. He had houses on several continents and insisted that the same model of microwave was in each of his homes. Money can buy you a simpler life :-) Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 15:13   The "If I was in power" thread. - No FM2R

>>He had houses on several continents and insisted that the same model of microwave was in each of his homes. I don't know about now, but a few years ago when I was involved Bill Gates had a team which, amongst other duties, ensured that all his televisions in all his houses worked the same way and that the same channel was on the same number in every place. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 11:23   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

That would be UKIP policy then. I'll pass it on . Should go down well with your core supporters. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 13:23   The "If I was in power" thread. - Armel Coussine

Set the minimum voting age at 25 (it's ridiculous to give children the vote). Qualified voters would only be those who could pass a basic English-language literacy and numeracy test, at about O level standard. There's no point in giving the vote to people who can't make out what politicians are saying, and who don't know what a majority is because they can't count. Make voting compulsory for all qualified voters, as it is in Australia (a country in several ways more civilized than this one). Might not make any difference, but would look more convincing to anti-democrats. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 6 Oct 14 17:30   The "If I was in power" thread. - Dutchie

The John Lennon song comes to mind Imagine. Only if. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 18:07   The "If I was in power" thread. - Roger.

>> The John Lennon song comes to mind Imagine. >> >> Only if. >> Dreadful mawkish ordure and pretentious in the extreme, as was Lennon in his declining years! Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:24   The "If I was in power" thread. - Armel Coussine

>> John Lennon song comes to mind Just for you Rastaman: Her Majesty's a very nice girl but she doesn't have a lot to say. Her Majesty's a very nice girl and I love her more from day to day; (Tum tiddy tum tiddy tum tiddy tum Tum tiddy tum tiddy tum tiddy tum Tum tiddy tum tiddy tum tiddy tum) Some day I'm gonna make her mine Oh yeah Some day I'm gonna make her mine... The good bit was, she made him hers. I was not one of those who criticised Lennon for accepting a Knighthood. It's a national honour. If it's against your principles you can turn it down discreetly, but making a point of scorning it with full publicity is sanctimonious prattishness, insulting to everyone and asking for people to be rude. (Sorry I couldn't remember the middle passage of the lyric) Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Mon 6 Oct 14 at 19:27 Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:29   The "If I was in power" thread. - Manatee

>> I was not one of those who >> criticised Lennon for accepting a Knighthood. Shome mishtake? Are your thinking of McCartney? Lennon returned his MBE if I recall correctly. Never got a Sir. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:35   The "If I was in power" thread. - Armel Coussine

Guh... they're all the same to me. The song might have been the other fellow too. The Beatles were wonderful in their day. Far greater than the sum of their parts. Yoko Ono has a lot to answer for. I met her once down in St James's... she wasn't very nice. Not that one cared much in those days. Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 17:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - Armel Coussine

>> Make voting compulsory for all qualified voters, as it is in Australia (a country in several ways more civilized than this one). Someone in the comic today said, very sensibly I thought, that MPs should have a minimum age qualification set at 40. People who are easy to manipulate shouldn't be entrusted with political 'power' (for want of a better word). Children are easy to manipulate. Don't let their displays of bolshiness fool you. Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 20:06   The "If I was in power" thread. - Slidingpillar

Make voting compulsory for all qualified voters, as it is in Australia Admittedly one has the option of spoiling ones ballot, but other than in students union ballots, I've never seen the option that no candidates were suitable. Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 21:06   The "If I was in power" thread. - No FM2R

Voting was compulsory here [Chile] until this last election. Said compulsion has just been removed. Arguably complete democracy and freedom involves the right not to vote. Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 21:48   The "If I was in power" thread. - Robin O'Reliant

>> Voting was compulsory here [Chile] until this last election. Said compulsion has just been removed. >> >> Arguably complete democracy and freedom involves the right not to vote. >> Amen to that. The silent majority have a right to remain silent. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:14   The "If I was in power" thread. - MD

You clearly missed Fullabrook wind farm Zeddo just south of Ilfracombe. Horrible sight. 22 in number I believe and very very tall. Quite often turned off!! Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:23   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> You clearly missed Fullabrook wind farm Zeddo just south of Ilfracombe. Horrible sight. 22 in >> number I believe and very very tall. Quite often turned off!! Never made it further west into Devon than Lynmouth. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:35   The "If I was in power" thread. - MD

Quite a pleasant spot as is the adjacent coastline. Lynton though is the pits. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:36   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

I thought it was rather stunning when I saw it this summer. Rather architectural and compliments the landscape. Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 19:43   The "If I was in power" thread. - MD

? Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 21:02   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

Do you not think that these structures are elegant and rather beautiful? littlecomfortfarm.co.uk/diary/wp-content/uploads/Fullabrook-wind-farm-north-devon-with-tractors-making-hay4.jpg Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 21:33   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

no Reply to this message | Report message       2

New Mon 6 Oct 14 22:25   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder but they are really elegant structures. I' m always a bit surprised that a lot of people seem to dislike them so much. I guess its always the same with new technology. It's always objected to. Railways were the same in their day. The Monsal viaduct created a huge furore when it was built and now it's celebrated. Water towers are dotted all over the country but no one notices them. Same with pylons which used to be the bête noire until wind turbines came along. In a couple of generations people will be campaigning to stop the demolition of their local wind farm. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 6 Oct 14 22:38   The "If I was in power" thread. - Kevin

>In a couple of generations people will be campaigning to stop the demolition of their local wind farm. They won't have to, they will all have self-destructed eg. the one near Holmfirth. Elegant structures my 'arris. Try Expensive noisy inefficient carp. Last edited by: Kevin on Mon 6 Oct 14 at 22:39 Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Mon 6 Oct 14 22:46   The "If I was in power" thread. - Zero

>> I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder but they are really elegant >> structures. They are, but 5 million of the things blocking the skyline everywhere elevates them to the level of a breedin eyesore. Most railway viaducts are an eyesore, unless they have some kind of elegance. >>Water towers are dotted all over the An eyesore >>Same with pylons An eyesore >> >> In a couple of generations people will be campaigning to stop the demolition of their >> local wind farm. No ruddy chance Reply to this message | Report message

New Mon 6 Oct 14 23:00   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

Five million? That will be quite impressive! Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 7 Oct 14 09:19   The "If I was in power" thread. - Cliff Pope

The few remaining wind turbines, their sails removed, could be converted into desirable bijou dwellings, just like real windmills and water towers. Glorious views over the whole (flat) Norfolk countryside. :) Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 7 Oct 14 09:24   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

There is one at the Eco Centre at Swaffham that doe have a viewing gallery and it does indeed have fantastic views. I think that perhaps they lost an opportunity at the ones in Devon. A viewing platform in one of the turbines would have been a fantastic tourist attraction. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 7 Oct 14 09:22   The "If I was in power" thread. - Old Navy

As soon as the government removes the subsidy for them they will be abandoned to rot as they have been in the USA. toryaardvark.com/2011/11/17/14000-abandoned-wind-turbines-in-the-usa/ Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 7 Oct 14 09:39   The "If I was in power" thread. - Haywain

"they will be abandoned to rot as they have been in the USA. " Largely as the result of exploitation of shale gas? It must be nice not to be dependent on the whims of Mr P. Reply to this message | Report message

New Tue 7 Oct 14 19:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - Manatee

I think I could find a role in government for Judge Judy. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 8 Oct 14 02:55   The "If I was in power" thread. - legacylad

Make all parking 'downtown' FOC. Where I am at the moment ( in the US) you can park for two hours FOC on Main St. Just off its unlimited parking. No wonder the town centre thrives. No traffic wardens, no hassle looking for change, just park up and spend money with local retailers. If you want to drive to out of town retail mall fair enough, but I try to support ma n pa businesses, and free parking necessitates that. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 8 Oct 14 07:14   The "If I was in power" thread. - Focusless

>> Where I am at the moment ( in the US) >> you can park for two hours FOC on Main St. Is the road wider than the typical UK high street? Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 8 Oct 14 08:08   The "If I was in power" thread. - Crankcase

I'd make all local buses free at point of use for everyone at peak hours at least. In our case the local traffic problems at commuting time and global costs associated with them in terms of congestion, pollution, accidents etc wouldn't exactly melt away I don't suppose, but would be much reduced, as the cost of the bus is currently so high it's far cheaper to drive in many cases. eg two of us per day - 12 miles in (and back of course), car costs all up about 12p per mile, so call it £3 per day. The eight gazillion pound guided bus is as lovely as buses get (not very), air con, leather seats, free wifi, runs every ten minutes from just down the road, but takes just as long as the car, or sometimes a bit longer, and costs for the same journey for two, £12.40 per day. You can reduce this a bit on a season ticket, but it's still about four times the price. And now they're introducing an extra £1 a day to park in the park and ride, to cover the multimillion pound per year running costs of an unattended expanse of tarmac. Last edited by: Crankcase on Wed 8 Oct 14 at 08:09 Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 8 Oct 14 10:33   The "If I was in power" thread. - Roger.

IMO, parking in town centres should be free, but time regulated to deter all-day parkers. (The same should apply to every NHS hospital.) We would certainly visit our local town & city centres more often were it not for the parking charges. Instead, for major purchases, we go to Meadowhall and for day to day stuff, we use out of town shops and supermarkets. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 8 Oct 14 10:43   The "If I was in power" thread. - Bromptonaut

>> IMO, parking in town centres should be free, but time regulated to deter all-day parkers. >> (The same should apply to every NHS hospital.) I think that's probably the right compromise. The available supply of parking, restricted by space in UK in a way it may not be over the pond, is exceeded by demand in many plaes at some or all times. See the mayhem a few years ago in St Albans when Police stopped enforcement several months before Council had acquired powers to do so themselves. Northampton is experimenting weekdays with first two hours free in the car park serving the Grosvenor shopping centre. It's completely free at weekends. Reply to this message | Report message

New Wed 8 Oct 14 11:52   The "If I was in power" thread. - Manatee

Much of North Yorkshire has free 'disc' parking. You set your arrival time on a cardboard disc displayed in the car, and a sign defines the maximum stay. The market towns that use this are noticeably busier and have more choice of shops than those that charge for parking. I regard parking charges as a reason to go elsewhere if I can. A bit like overpaying for fuel - just coughing up regardless makes us milk cows. From the other end of the telescope, local authorities should consider parking charges a means of deterring visitors - then they might hesitate before killing off their town centres. I don't mind walking - put the free car park half a mile away and let the idle beggars pay if they want. Nor do I mind paying a reasonable fee for park and ride. Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 21:28   The "If I was in power" thread. - Alastairw

Absolutely Manatee. I stopped using a local shopping centre when they imposed car park charges rather than the previous 'first 2 hours free' arrangement. And as for putting your reg no into the machine to stop ticket transfers...Just grrrr! Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 21:56   The "If I was in power" thread. - ....

If I was in charge... I'd do road tax like the Germans and Swiss do it. Swiss single plate assigned to a person and set at the highest taxation vehicle - seems fair. German system loaded for diesel so low mileage petrol drivers could still buy and enjoy a 6 or 8 cylinder without being persecuted by Brake and FotE zealots. Went out for dinner this evening and heard a young, well off young chap letting rip with a V8. Not shredding tyres but letting the engine have some exercise. Gorgeous sound ! Last edited by: gmac on Fri 10 Oct 14 at 21:59 Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 23:39   The "If I was in power" thread. - Roger.

Talking of road tax - well, gmac mentioned it - how many of you have now removed your redundant tax disc? I have! Reply to this message | Report message

New Fri 10 Oct 14 23:59   The "If I was in power" thread. - Bromptonaut

>> Talking of road tax - well, gmac mentioned it - how many of you have >> now removed your redundant tax disc? >> I have! I've been sort of looking in car parks and have yet to see a single car sans disc. Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 20:38   The "If I was in power" thread. - Old Navy

>> I've been sort of looking in car parks and have yet to see a single >> car sans disc. >> I removed mine on 1/10 but have not seen any other cars without a disc. Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 00:07   The "If I was in power" thread. - Robin O'Reliant

>> Talking of road tax - well, gmac mentioned it - how many of you have >> now removed your redundant tax disc? >> I have! >> Same here, my car is now sporting a Guinness label instead. I've only seen a handful of cars with the disc removed, mostly those whose VED expired and the end of the month I would think. Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 01:11   The "If I was in power" thread. - henry k

>> I've only seen a handful of cars with the disc removed, mostly those whose VED >> expired and the end of the month I would think. >> Like mine, now just a lonely NT car park sticker remains Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 09:42   The "If I was in power" thread. - Slidingpillar

The vintage car is now sporting a replica of the first tax disc it had. In 1930. Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 13:07   The "If I was in power" thread. - Robin O'Reliant

Shamelessly nicked from another forum - Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present... The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.) If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical." If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button." I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.) If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 13:36   The "If I was in power" thread. - Roger.

.........and set Car4Play as their home page? Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 14:14   The "If I was in power" thread. - Slidingpillar

www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html Reply to this message | Report message

New Sat 11 Oct 14 16:41   The "If I was in power" thread. - Ted

Longest ever post on here ? Brilliant ! Three wheel man gets the 'Golden Eccles Cake ' award. Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Sat 11 Oct 14 23:01   The "If I was in power" thread. - CGNorwich

For a copy and paste job? Reply to this message | Report message       1

New Sun 12 Oct 14 00:19   The "If I was in power" thread. - Robin O'Reliant

>> For a copy and paste job? >> As the first line of my post said, "Shamelessly nicked from another forum". Reply to this message | Report message