stolen from the daily mirror.
Paaaaaaaaaaarp! Ten things you need to know about those Vuvuzelas
By Steve Anglesey in 2010 World Cup Blog
Published 13:12 12/06/10
It's the annoying drone which is threatening to wreck the World Cup finals.
Not the mogadon rumble of Alan Shearer's expert analysis - we were prepared for that well in advance - but the bee-swarm hell of the vuvuzela, the ubiquitous plastic horn which is giving the web the right hump.
If you're lucky enough not to have heard one yet, knock yourself out . You'll regret it.
Though Mirror Football's Dan Silver wrote yesterday that "the only thing more irritating than the vuvuzelas is people complaining about the noise made by the vuvuzelas", not everyone agrees, with the Twittersphere consensus suggesting that instead of sticking them in the mouths them, fans might want to insert their plastic horns into another, lower orifice.
As a veteran who served with distinction during the acid house wars, I'm no shrinking violet when it comes to repetitive noise. A quick look at my lovely new Sony Ericsson X10 reveals 1970s industrialists Throbbing Gristle, loop-bothering Yank weirdos Animal Collective and Don of Drone Jon Hassell among the recently played items. Not only do I own Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music album, but I've played it recently. For pleasure.
Yet this swamping buzz - enjoyed by me thanks to the telly, the radio and a 'hilarious' banker on the tube at Canary Wharf last night - is audio napalm, a sound surely only a serial killer could love since they probably hear similar in their brains 24/7 anyway.
A quick pre-match parp would be fine, but the locals are taking it too far. They are, in fact, over-vuvuzealous.
What do you think? Love the vuvuzelas or loathe them? Should the BBC and ITV be damping down the in-stadium sound so we can actually concentrate on the football? Or do I need to grow a pair and get on with it?
Let me know by commenting below and, before you do, have a look at our 10 vuvuzela facts below...
1) After their curtain-raising draw with Mexico, South African goalkeeper Itumeleng Kuhne declared himself "disappointed" by the vuvuzelas. "There were not enough," he said. "We didn't blow a lot of vuvuzelas, but let's hopes in the next game we'll blow more," Khune said.
2) Vuvuzelas can record noise levels of up to 130 decibels. A chainsaw only puts out 100 decibels, while South African law orders people to use ear protection if they are exposed to 85 decibels and above at work.
3) Cape Town is currently playing host to the world's largest vuvuzela. It's 114 feet long and is powered by air horns which themselves can record noise levels of 123.5 decibels each. The total effect is said to be louder than all of Nelson Mandela's shirts put together.
4) South Africa's Nazareth Baptist Church threatened to sue FIFA if they allowed fans to play vuvuzelas at the World Cup. They claim they have a copyright on the 'holy' instrument.
5) Cape Town shops have sold out of "Vuvu-Stop" earplugs, which reduce the noise level of a nearby vuvuzela by 31 decibels. Each packet has a label on the back of the packet which reads: "Highly effective noise reduction. Uses include soccer, rugby, or to block out your wife's moaning."
6) The drone produced by the vuvuzela is a B-flat. The world boasts four vuvuzela orchestras - three in South Africa and one in Vienna. Each contains seven vuvuzelas, which are cut to different lengths so they can combine to play a single chord.
7) The Rainbow Nation have been stocking up for a long time. Vendors sold 20,000 vuvuzelas on the 2004 day that South Africa won their World Cup bid.
8) Fans of the vuvuzela include Spain's Xabi Alonso ("irritating"), Holland's Bert Van Marwijk ("annoying") and Bryan Robson ("a racket").
9) As well as earache, fans are reporting bruised and cracked lips from over-enthusiastic blowing of the vuvuzela and its cousins. There's the smaller, shriller mini vuvuzela, the deeper, louder kuduzela and the makarapa vuvuzela - a horn attached to a hard hat decorated in team colours.
10) There's always the mute button
Last edited by: Webmaster on Wed 16 Jun 10 at 09:29
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