Non-motoring > Kids	Miscellaneous
Thread Author: Westpig	Replies: 27

Tue 15 Oct 13 22:48   Kids - Westpig

Had a laugh here last night. My son's bedtime story. He faffed about and prepared his single bed so that we could both lie on it for me to read the story (usually I just sit on the edge). He even went and got extra pillows, because apparently I "nick all the pillow". When he'd got into the bed under his duvet and I was lying on the top albeit there wasn't really enough room for me..and we were both lying on our respective pillows..and he'd stopped wriggling...I said to him "Comfy now"? His response (bearing in mind he's 5 years old)...."No, not really, you've got your elbow on my nuts". Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 16 Oct 13 00:06   Kids - bathtub tom

>>No, not really, you've got your elbow on my nuts You're a civvy now, remember? None of those nasty tactics! Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 16 Oct 13 00:32   Kids - Stuu

My nephew, 15 months old, really loves a cuddle, however he has now combined this with his love of running so a cuddle tends to involve a run up - his head height unfortunately is spot on for a low blow headbutt at speed, well worth avoiding :-) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 08:29   Kids - Westpig

>> You're a civvy now, remember? >> >> None of those nasty tactics! >> I used to use 'good cop, bad cop' at work. If someone needed reining in, I'd get my sergeant to lay the law down on the premise that he was doing them a favour and I'd be the one all cross about whatever the issue was...but in reality we'd both be having a laugh about it....and he'd be moaning that I was always the bad cop....... and it should have been his turn. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 09:23   Kids - Roger.

Kids are baby goats - neh? Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 21:59   Kids - Westpig

>> Kids are baby goats - neh? >> Full Definition of KID 1 a : a young goat b : a young individual of various animals related to the goat 2 a : the flesh, fur, or skin of a kid b : something made of kid 3 : a young person; especially : child —often used as a generalized reference to one especially younger or less experienced No.3 Roger. Do keep up. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 09:26   Kids - Fullchat

I recall one day when the kids were much younger and sat in the rear of the car. I had occasion to comment on the antics of another driver and uttered an expletive that sounds like 'Banker'. Of course the question was asked. Funny when you look back on it. :) Warning contains strong language. www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lE4QYau4H8 Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 10:50   Kids - Mike Hannon

I well remember being out in an Austin 12 with my parents when I was about eight and my father calling a woman driver who cut him up a 'stupid whore'. When I asked him what a 'hoor' was he said 'a loose woman'. For years I thought you had to be careful with some females, whose arms and legs might not be attached securely. Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 27 Dec 13 at 01:18 Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 11:10   Kids - Zero

For years my son asked me when we were going to have stupid tart for dinner. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 16:35   Kids - Armel Coussine

I behave disgracefully by swearing in front of nearly everyone. When one of the nippers dropped something and was heard to say 'Uck!' I naturally and quite rightly got the blame. But because they are all girls they have generally understood the instruction 'Do as I say, not as I do, what sounds normal from a horrid old man sounds terrible on the lips of a pretty young lady or girl'. Indeed when I started to tell three of the granddaughters about the French music hall artist Le Pétomane (he could play tunes by passing wind backwards) I was silenced by a little voice saying reprovingly: 'I don't think we really want to hear this, Grandfather.' Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 27 Dec 13 at 01:17 Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 17:51   Kids - PhilW

How times change! The f-word seems to punctuate every sentence several times with some youths of today, often very loudly (when on trains/buses etc) yet I remember the first time I heard my Dad swear. We were up in NW Scotland (Morar?)and our brand new Morris 1100 (first new car he ever had when he was aged about 45) developed a bad fault in the differential so it had to stay up in Scotland for a few days (along with Mum, bro and sis). Dad had to get back to work and I had an exam at school. When the garage mechanic had explained and was out of earshot Dad said quietly "Ruddy car!" Now that's some swearing especially since we then had to hitchhike and managed to get to Newcastle before getting train to N Yorks!! I heard him say "hell's bells" a few times also but only in extreme circumstances! Last edited by: PhilW on Wed 16 Oct 13 at 17:51 Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 17:59   Kids - No FM2R

I don't think I've ever heard my Father saying anything other than s-od or b-loody. I'd probably be somewhat taken aback if I did. I rather regret that my children cannot say the same about me. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 18:14   Kids - -

My father could of course swear, but he had to be severely provoked to utter an F, unfortunately i'm not anywhere as near restrained. Going to make a real effort, the grandaughters 10 months now, good a reason as any. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Wed 16 Oct 13 19:00   Kids - Dutchie

Love the way children can express themselves when so young.Our granddaughter is 18 months starting to say a few words. Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 17 Oct 13 00:53   Kids - henry k

>> I don't think I've ever heard my Father saying anything other than s-od or b-loody. >> I'd probably be somewhat taken aback if I did. >> >> I rather regret that my children cannot say the same about me. >> My father died when I was young so no idea re him swearing. I do not normally swear within earshot of anyone. I might mumble to myself on the odd minor DIY happening. My children did not swear until school pressure got to them. They knew not to swear at home and I still am jolted when 30+ daughter uses mild swear words in normal conversation. I do recall one of my two when they were quite young from their back seats in the car saying in a stern voice " Stop arguing you two!". I wonder where that expression came from? Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 18:15   Kids - Armel Coussine

>> I heard him say "hell's bells" a few times also but only in extreme circumstances! My favourite aunt, notoriously fierce on occasion, used to say 'Hell's bells and buckets of blood!' when I was small, an excitingly piratical oath I thought. Of course all the adults were quite wound up during the war. My father was restrained in his language and seldom uttered obscenities. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 19:42   Kids - Dutchie

My father used to look that was enough if you crossed him.Mother's backhander did the rest.>:) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 21:24   Kids - DP

When quizzed why she kept fidgeting, my (then) 3 year old announced rather loudly to a packed supermarket checkout queue "I've got a wedgie!" They say you only get the truth from kids and drunks. :-) Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 22:56   Kids - bathtub tom

Four-year-old grandson announced loudly in the library "that lady used to be a man". On the previous visit the librarian had been a man............................... Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 22:59   Kids - No FM2R

At the check out having got some soap powder, my [then] 4 year old TV advert addict said to the cashier "my Papa bought this one because he has stubborn stains". Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 16 Oct 13 23:18   Kids - Ted

Only today, 3 year old Grandson, when asked about something by his Gran said Yes, Granma, we went there yesterweek ' Because of the model railway, 2 yr old Grandson refers to his Gran as ' Manma choo-choo train ' ! He hasn't quite got the ' GR ' yet. Bless 'em....don'cha just love 'em ? Ted Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 17 Oct 13 03:34   Kids - Armel Coussine

>> announced loudly in the library "that lady used to be a man". Innocence is charming. About 25 years ago we took our elder daughter to Italy by car. She was 16 and quite pretty, so in Italy we were followed everywhere by tiresome gangs of three-legged boys. On the way we stayed in what turned out to be a louche hotel in the Arab quarter of Mulhouse, with a gay and transvestite bar and cabaret. While we were having a drink in the bar our daughter said in a low voice: 'Dad, did you see the way that woman at the bar was making eyes at you?' She was absolutely amazed when we told her that actually it was a man... Innocence... there's a lot to be said for it. It's sweet. Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 17 Oct 13 07:36   Kids - smokie

I recall straying into the outer edges of the Amsterdam red light district with daughter in tow, she was maybe four or five. "Daddy, what are those ladies all doing in the window". Wife jumped in with "knitting". She believed it. And now she's late 20s it's one of those classic moments that arises in holiday reminiscences. Reply to this message | Report message       1

Thu 17 Oct 13 13:21   Kids - Dutchie

Straying in the outer edges? >) Plenty of Lady boys around you can feel the difference. Reply to this message | Report message

Thu 17 Oct 13 10:20   Kids - Westpig

>> She was 16 and quite pretty, so in Italy we were followed everywhere by >> tiresome gangs of three-legged boys. Cripes. That conjurs up a vision. Were they all singing a Rolf Harris song? Reply to this message | Report message

Mon 21 Oct 13 20:35   Kids - MJW1994

We have lots of family nearby, I often am called upon to look after some of the younger members, cousin’s kids usually. There are two I am particularly fond of, they are twin boys aged five, I will often have them for a whole day but I have to be careful what I say to them since they will report back to their Mother anything of interest or comment made. They always refer to me by my full name, they will say something like “but Matthew said…….” Sometimes they will report back nice things though, the other day they said that they “liked being with Matthew because he’s always happy and never gets cross”, to which my Mum replied they must have got the wrong lad. Cow. When they were much smaller they would charge at me when they saw me approaching, several times scoring direct hits between the legs. Not as bad as my Labrador though, where I can be tortured most mornings if I’m not careful. He sleeps in the kitchen but with almost uncanny accuracy at 5am he will charge upstairs into my bedroom and jump up and down on the bed waking me up, if you are lucky scoring a couple of hits between the legs, three times if unlucky. He then slaps his slobbery tongue all over your face, finishing off with breathing all over your face. Once he is satisfied you have been woken up beyond the point of no return, he then legs it to the other side of the room and drags my outdoor jeans and top off my chair and presents them to me, sitting patiently wagging his tail. We then go out across the fields for 30 mins, come back to the house and he has his breakfast before settling down to snooze while I get showered and ready for work. I wonder why evolution has not caught up, why do us blokes have these vulnerable things hanging between our legs, you would have thought evolution would have put them somewhere inside the body by now. Reply to this message | Report message

Mon 21 Oct 13 20:50   Kids - Dutchie

Some material arts experts can hide them inside their body before battle.Private parts and eyes very vunerable. Our granddaughter loves watching Peggy Pig,I haven't seen her for a week miss her.>:) Reply to this message | Report message

Mon 21 Oct 13 20:56   Kids - Old Navy

One of our granddaughters likes watching Shaun the sheep, not that I would notice or watch it of course. :-) Reply to this message | Report message