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At the moment we give our grandchildren (one at school and the other at university) money at Christmas and birthdays. At what age, or stage in their life, should we stop giving them money?
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Entirely a matter of personal preference, I'd say.
I have an elderly relative who *still* gives me a fiver at Christmas - as she does to a few others.
I don't give money not even to children; unless they are saving for something specific.
The difficulty, if there is one, is that £5 impresses a 10yr old but doesn't do so much for a 20yr old.
Now if you *wish* to give up and change to more traditional presents, then I'd suggest choosing an excuse, which would logically be 18, 21, or starting work.
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We give up giving "Pressies or Cash" when the " "Kids" become parents themselves, they then just get cards. When Eventually they have "kids" the "Pressies" start again, toys and things till they reach 9-10, then clothing/gadgets, Teens Cash.
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>> We give up giving "Pressies or Cash" when the "Kids" become parents themselves, they then just get cards.
>> When eventually they have "kids" the "Pressies" start again, toys and things till they reach 9-10,
>> then clothing/gadgets, teens cash.
I now have two teenagers and have always been resolutely against giving cash as a main Xmas / birthday present, as I prefer to give them an actual something that they can point to and say "That was from my dad". Their mum's family has a tradition of giving cash only, which to me suggests rather a lack of imagination. When I ask the girls what presents they received for Xmas presents they gleefully report a total of a hundred-and-something pounds but nothing else worthy of note.
Thinking back to a recent thread about iPhones though, the "wrong" or unfashionable present is probably worse than no present at all. If giving teens cash is good enough for one of this forum's esteemed members I may have to change my position this Xmas. I still reckon they'll squander it though :(
Last edited by: Dave_TiD on Fri 2 Aug 13 at 19:34
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>> I have an elderly relative who *still* gives me a fiver at Christmas
>> The difficulty, if there is one, is that £5 impresses a 10yr old but doesn't
>> do so much for a 20yr old.
And a whole lot lot lot less for a 50+ yr old ;)
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The decision between my sisters and I are to stop when they set up a home of their own....this means I'm still giving my 28k earning niece a present and not my jobless 26 year old nephew....
Last edited by: R.P. on Fri 2 Aug 13 at 13:52
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Seems to be at the end of university or when gainfully employed, for me. If I live that long...
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My grandparents also used to give us money, roughly from the time we became teenagers I think. This then became a 'is there anything you'd like for the house/garden' once we had places of our own, so post uni.
After a few years this then naturally ended as the answer eventually becomes "no, not really thanks Grandma, there's nothing I need - how about you?" resulting in a mutually agreed cessation of formal gift giving and a drift into taking chocolate/flowers/wine/a book/something from the garden when visiting. Though right up to the year she passed away I'd always leave her house with a chocolate cake. Now when I was 8 I *really* liked chocolate cake. 25 years later yes, chocolate cake was nice, but a bit of variety would have been nice ;-) 30 years later and my Mum now often makes a chocolate cake when we go round...
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Nippers are usually broke so they don't mind being given money. So am I broke, usually, so I often feel stingy because I can't afford to bung them anything impressive.
Apart from that, money is an admission of defeat. Really one ought to find something perfect, unexpected and appropriate... 'It's the thought that counts'. Some people are very good at this, but when the birthdays come round it seems every twenty minutes or so throughout the year, my mind goes utterly blank. I'm lousy at it. It's a wonder the little darlings still speak to me.
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>>I'm lousy at it.
Me too, so I have a box. If I see something through the year that I think would make a good present, I buy it and chuck it in the box.
It doesn't solve everyone, but it works for a lot.
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The last two posts sum it all up. Well done Lud and Mark. Now I don't feel toooooooo bad.
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My old Mum gives her 2 grandkids ( 20 & 24) a cheque each bday and Xmas. She's lucky to get a thirty second phone call, prompted by their parents, in return. And they earn far more than she ever earned.
Personally I would give them a kick up the mule and donkey.
Far more worthwhile, and grateful, causes. Sadly, the old adage of not being able to choose your relatives is painfully true.
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>> Me too, so I have a box. If I see something through the year that
>> I think would make a good present, I buy it and chuck it in the
>> box.
This is where I go wrong, I see a great present for someone months before their birthday, buy it, then can't find it when their birthday comes around.
My mum tries not to give money instead of presents, the two youngest still get toys, eldest usually gets jewelry, a handbag or other girly things.
My dad is terrible at buying presents (I take after him), he will take the kids to a toy shop and get them to choose their own present.
My gran started giving money instead of presents on each grandchild's 16th birthday and carried on until she passed away. I'd have rather she'd just given me a card as an adult but she would have been offended if I didn't take the money. It was a 50 mile round trip to visit her so if she asked me to do come round and fix something she'd try to give me petrol money, I always refused saying that I had work to do nearby, I think the knew that was a white lie but it saved us both embarrassment.
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My dad is terrible at buying presents (I take after him), he will take the kids to a toy shop and get them to choose their own present.
Lol....
This is no different from asking them what they want, which is better than giving something they don't want.
Just shopped this week for Christmas present for my son xbox 360. The games at £40.00 each can be spread over a few months till the time comes.
Money is fine but a present is nicer, but if your unable to shop (elderly) and not used to online shopping like my grandparents were it's going to be difficult to buy.
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I'd really like to buy proper presents for my grandkids, etc, but even if was in the UK I would find it difficult. Kids are a mystery to me, so I fear I cop out and leave it to them/their parents.
Sad but practical.
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Buy them a book of good manners and ensure they read it every day.
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Presents for grandchildren - No FM2R
