My workplace, like many others, has a little kitchen on each floor. I go in three or four times a day for water or tea. Every so often I find someone in there, either alone and engaged in a hectic and clearly private conversation on a mobile phone, or sharing some similarly personal matter with the other person there.
I don't want to intrude, or even to hear this stuff, but I do want a cup of tea, and this is a public place in which they're conducting their private conversation. Any thoughts on etiquette here?
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Regrettably Will there is no thought for etiquette these days...
I have sat in a crowded train from Gatwick to Victoria being regaled by a young lady talking loudly to her friend on a mobile with the details of her love life...
I have overheard private conversations on multi million pound property deals from a very glamorous and rich looking lady also on the train.
I have suffered youngsters foul language and unwanted booming music in cars and irritating constant background noise emanating from Iplayers .
Even sitting in a smart restaurant last week in the West End with SWMBO , next table an obviously upper class young man was using the F word almost constantly within our hearing talking to his equally upmarket girlfriend .... nobody batted an eyelid.
Times have changed....for the worse I'm afraid.
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>> Even sitting in a smart restaurant last week in the West End with SWMBO ,
>> next table an obviously upper class young man was using the F word almost constantly
>> within our hearing talking to his equally upmarket girlfriend .... nobody batted an eyelid.
Then he wasn't an "upper class young man", by any stretch of the imagination. First, a request to stop using bad language, next a complaint to the head waiter.
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>> First, a request to stop using bad language
I make a point of doing this if ANYONE uses profane language within earshot when I'm out with my children - I haven't had a smack in the mouth for my trouble yet, although I suspect I will one day.
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I have sat in a crowded train from Gatwick to Victoria being regaled by a young lady talking loudly to her friend on a mobile with the details of her love life...
Did you record it & can i have a copy?
A few years back with my radio scanner i used to listen in on mobile phone calls (can't now digital) bye eck the filth we heard was amazing!!
Also can be done with cordless telephones and still can with old anolouge so be carefull people!!
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>> Any thoughts on etiquette here?
I would (and do) get my cup of tea while appearing to be completely disinterested in what they are saying - they can't block access to something as critical as tea/coffee making facilities :)
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We had a similar problem in one of our Offices - he general Offices being open plan, workers had little option other than to use the kitchen - door was shut during such conversations which afforded some privacy but the opening of the door gave sufficient warning for the conversation to be paused. It was never allowed to become sacred ground - the need for tea was too strong to be ignored. I had my own office so could fall asleep in peace.
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>> workers had little option other than to use the kitchen - door was
>> shut during such conversations which afforded some privacy
Personally I don't think they should shut the door - ok in theory you can still go in (politely as FT suggests), but it would put some people off; seems selfish. They should either accept that they might be overheard, or if it's that important/private, find somewhere else, even if that means leaving the office/building.
Last edited by: Focus on Wed 26 May 10 at 12:48
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>> Join in the conversation
Nah, make notes and blackmail them.
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Agree with focus; just ignore them.
Is there anywhere else they can go? If so then perhaps management could issue a reminder, without fingering any offender, telling them there is a suitable facility.
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Sitting in a crowded plane on the runway at a US airport a few years back, the woman behind me was having a very loud and heated row on the phone with (presumably) her other half, which ended in floods of tears and clearly a break up. The stewardess eventually came over for the third time to ask her to switch the phone off so the plane could leave to which the woman next to her snapped back "Can't you see it's important?"
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Thgey should not be holding a private conversation in the kitchen when you're in there. So, knock on the door, and go in, saying "Hello, I'm just going to make a cup of the in here", or some variation on that theme. That is their cue to cease.
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FT that was the form in our place. As I say as management it was tolerated, it was either that or we lost them outdoors.......
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It's a public part of the workplace. Just walk in! If you don't make eye contact they'll assume you can't hear them... like cats thinking you can't see them if they stand still :-)
If you're that worried about gate crashing then announce loudly outside the door 'I'm just making a brew does anyone else need anything from the kitchen while I'm here...' That's assuming the office is close to the kitchen. If not you're going to look like a nutter!
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There is only one reason that people talk loudly about private issues in public, because they want everybody to hear how interesting their life is.
It is excusable when it is a teenager wanting everybody to know what an exciting love life they have, it is a more pathetic when it is adults wanting everybody to know how much they spent on an house, how much of a high powered business person they are, or who they are sleeping with.
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I was on a train when a pasenger held his hand to his ear and loudly asserted:
PLANET EARTH TO PLANET ZOG, PLANET EARTH TO PLANET ZOG.
He then continued an amusing monologue on the methods of communication we use on this backward planet.
It quietened the other mobile 'phone conversations. Priceless!
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Friend of mine shuts the mobile blatherers up on the train by getting a notepad out, making eye contact and then pretending to take notes of the conversation.
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If I'm in a business meeting I turn my phone off...always. If someone else answers their phone in a meeting I get quite irritated I'm afraid. Only last week I walked out of one after the guy who had invited me to his office took the fourth phone call in ten minutes on subjects not pertinent to our agenda. Done it before and I'll do it again if need be. I don't show anger and just say something like " you are clearly busier today than you anticipated, perhaps you can call me to re-schedule when you are under less pressure"....Good Afternoon.....
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The Dawn of the Blackberries heralded a new irritant in meetings - that used to rive me up a particular wall.
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Spike Milligan told funny story about his lawyer, who ALWAYS answered the phone during appointments, thus stretching the 10 minute appointment to about an hour...
Milligan's revenge - invites lawyer to dinner, serves at precisely 8pm. Phone starts ringing at 8:00:30. Milligan ignores it.
Eventually the lawyer can't take it any more, leaps up, grabs phone. It's harry Secombe: "Your soup's getting cold, you silly ****! *raspberry*"
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Interesting comments, chaps. When I encounter more than one person I've evolved a method similar to the one Focus suggests, of saying something bland to acknowledge their presence and then going about my business without apology - I am entitled to be there after all. Harder to do when one person is on the phone, but I just make my tea as much as possible as I would on my own.
Incidentally, if I take my phone to a meeting at all (it tends to stay on my desk) it will be thoroughly silenced and only checked afterwards for missed calls or messages. We don't have to conform to the myth of constant availability - and I work for a communications company!
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Etiquette: private conversations in public places - helicopter
