Real price is £1,950 not £950. So you're a cheapskate and a thief, what does that say about your relationship with me.
An odd number of wheeltrims (or none).
Mileage: Blank. Go on, it's probably not that bad, and if it is, why do you want me wasting your time ringing you up?
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Daimler Super V8 for sale
"This is not the Supercharged version"
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My nose. When I was younger and poorer, practicality was the main consideration.
I once spent over eighteen months between deciding to change my car and finding one that didn't set my nose twitching. When I finally settled on one I later had to drive the family past it to find out what colour it was, I couldn't remember and it wasn't a consideration to me. I've had some awful colours!
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I won't view a car, let alone buy one, if the advert says 'no time wasters'.
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1) No time wasters, well my time is valuable, I will not go and see a car unless I am convinced before seeing it. If I have wasted your time, it is because you have wasted by neglecting to pension the head gasket leaks and the piston rings let 300 litres of oil through the cylinders every year.
2) No mention of mileage - must be high then, not going to even bother making the phone call to find out.
3) No service history but has been well cared for - surely a contradiction?
My biggest gripe ever is seeing a car with 12 months MOT, I ask if it had any advisories, oh err just the tyre or something trivial. I then check online and see the following:-
Corrosion on brake pipes
Severe corrosion to chassis but not deemed to affect the structure of the vehicle.
Front pads warn but does not affect operation of brakes.
Handbrake travel excessive but within limits
etc
etc
It is the best thing about buying new, the only sharks you have to deal with are the initial sales men but if you buy online you can to a large extent cut that out too.
Last edited by: RattleandSmoke on Tue 17 May 11 at 17:13
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Outright lies about history. Half a dozen ads for identical cars to mine claimed to have had their cambelts done recently - it's a chain cam engine.
Rubbish photos.
Dirty cars.
"Long tax and MoT" both measurable in single figures of weeks.
You can tell more about a car by what they leave out of the advert.
Last edited by: Dave_TDCi on Tue 17 May 11 at 17:27
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My Asian friend was about to buy a Nissan Micra her dad friend was selling, she said it had just had a cambelt fitted recently which made me alarm bells ring as I was quite sure that engine was chain driven. I checked on HJ on indeed it was a chain. He lost out on a sale because of that lie.
My car adverts are always very honest.
"Not too many holes on the floor, head gasket only cracked in six places etc but a good runner"
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Not too many holes on the floor, head gasket only cracked in six places etc but a good runner. First to view will buy.
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I hate those people who advertise their cars as "19" miles, instead of what the actually has done, i.e. "19,000" miles, just so that they can beat the sorting order of Auto Trader.
What a counter-productive strategy. Straight away they appear devious and dodgy - would you buy a used car from this man?
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Poor spelling/grammar = half a job and can't be bothered to get it right...so the car will be the same.
Stupid comments like 'First to see will buy' = Arthur Daley type trader to me.
Poor quality photos = can't be bothered to get it right (as above).
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This is the last add I wrote:-
1999 V Corsa 1.2 16 Club, 83,000 miles, no tax or MOT.
I am selling my Corsa which I have owned for a year because the head gasket has blown. The car still drives and dosn't over heat but I would not recomend driving it away. The bodywork is in very good condition with a minor scratches etc but very good for its age.
It has electric windows, central locking, electric mirrors etc.
Drivers seatbelt needs new plastic outershell but that is a £5 scrap yard part and is cosmetic.
In the past year I've had done:-
Oil and filter change
New air filter
Four new springs
New front brake pads
Three new tyres
New brake fluid
New rear shocks
New MAF sensor
New ball joint
£300
Call xxxxx
Amazingly got so much interest from it despite the fact it had no MOT or tax and the exhaust emissions looked like it had a steam engine rather than a petrol one!
Last edited by: RattleandSmoke on Tue 17 May 11 at 18:44
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' Offers invited '.........just say how much you want !
' Reserve not met '....EBay, why not just start the auction at your reserve price and give us a clue ?
Ted
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"I'm selling this for a friend" is my pet hate and blurry or over exposed photos.
"Garage find", with no keys and no paperwork seems a dubious one to me, probably stolen 10 years ago and hidden in the garage.
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A friend obtained an Elva Courier MK1 as a 'garage find' many years ago.
It was sitting under thick dust in the lock-up next to the one he was renting. The landlord hadn't been paid any rent for years and all attempts at finding the owner or descendants failed. It was assumed the owner died and his relatives either didn't know or didn't care about the 'old car'.
He obtained legal title to it.
I heard of some old Morgans that had been put into storage for years and their owner subsequently died. Don't know the result of that one.
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>> I hate those people who advertise their cars as "19" miles, instead of what the
>> actually has done, i.e. "19,000" miles, just so that they can beat the sorting order
>> of Auto Trader.
Ack! I *hate* that. I *really* hate that. As you go on to say, there is no way that I would consider going to look at the car.
I'm also not fond of people who describe their car as 'an absolute bargain'. I'll be the judge of that, thanks very much.
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Airconditioning ice cold - just been regassed. i.e. there is a leak in the system but it will stay cold long enough for you to look at it.
Car (inevitably a heavy motor with a big petrol engine) is really economical managing 50-60mpg on a run. Really?!
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"New Car Forces Sale"
err but didn't you chose to get a new car
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"Genuine Reason For Sale"
Which somehow never gets explained in the advert.
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Locally:
"Owner emigrating"
Yeah, right... I'm really going to buy your car, knowing that if anything goes wrong next week you are now in Perth ...
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Not something that would put me off buying a car, of course, but I haven't seen the words 'well shod' featured in any car adverts for many years now.
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"The cambelt has been done"
At 60,000 miles and the car has now done 125,000.
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"One careful lady owner, low mileage" = engine worn out.
"Just needs £5 cosmetic job, would take 5 minutes" = I couldn't be bothered even putting that right because there is so much else wrong I hope you are not going to find.
"Supplied with 12 months MOT on purchase" = we have a tame tester who needs our business, but you won't find it passes so easily next time.
"Good starter" = bad starter, but we get them going ready so you don't know that.
"New front tyres" = there's a steering alignment problem.
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>> "The cambelt has been done"
>>
>> At 60,000 miles and the car has now done 125,000.
The one that dissuades me is "88,000 miles, FSH, just serviced" on a car which I know has 10,000 mile service intervals. Has it been serviced 2000 miles before it's due, or has it done 18,000 miles on the same oil and filters?
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>> >> "The cambelt has been done"
>> >>
>> >> At 60,000 miles and the car has now done 125,000.
>>
>> The one that dissuades me is "88,000 miles, FSH, just serviced" on a car which
>> I know has 10,000 mile service intervals. Has it been serviced 2000 miles before it's
>> due, or has it done 18,000 miles on the same oil and filters?
Thats valid, Dont forget its 10,000 miles or one year....
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>>"One careful lady owner, low mileage" = engine worn out.
This has not been the case in my experience of low mileage cars. Far from it.
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>> The one that dissuades me is "88,000 miles, FSH, just serviced" on a car which
>> I know has 10,000 mile service intervals. Has it been serviced 2000 miles before it's
>> due, or has it done 18,000 miles on the same oil and filters?
That would catch our meticulously serviced Berlingo. Always serviced early, never late; done once with 1500 miles in hand ahead trip to S of France and back. Just done 100k service with less than 95k on the clock.
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'Fully loaded' = overweight and over-made up, like a successful brothel madam. Only an American would fancy it.
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>> 'Fully loaded' = overweight and over-made up, like a successful brothel madam. Only an American
>> would fancy it.
>>
Or - I spent rather more than I should on expensive options which are almost worthless at resale and would rather like you to pay over the odds in order for me to recoup this loss.
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'First to see will buy'
Not much point me making the effort to come and look then.
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But you might be first...
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>> 'Fully loaded' = overweight and over-made up, like a successful brothel madam. Only an American
>> would fancy it.
>>
Glad I'm not the only one that hates that expression! It was going to be my contribution to this thread but you beat me to it....
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>>
>> The one that dissuades me is "88,000 miles, FSH, just serviced" on a car which
>> I know has 10,000 mile service intervals. Has it been serviced 2000 miles before it's
>> due, or has it done 18,000 miles on the same oil and filters?
>>
This could have been yearly serviced rather than mileage, e.g. my car has just been serviced at 6k miles, 12 months old.
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Most off putting would be the words "BMW X3,5,6".
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Why do people put espically on ebay ads?
"Golf GTI NOT Nova GTE, Escort XR3i, Peugeot 306"
I know it's none of those because I can clearly see it's a Golf GTI. Is it beacuse of listing similair search terms for maximum results?
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>> Why do people put espically on ebay ads?
>>
>> "Golf GTI NOT Nova GTE, Escort XR3i, Peugeot 306"
>>
It's something to do with the search engine,if someone is looking for any of the other cars then this one will come up in the search.
Last edited by: Kithmo on Fri 27 May 11 at 13:40
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>> Why do people put espically on ebay ads?
>>
>> "Golf GTI NOT Nova GTE, Escort XR3i, Peugeot 306"
>>
I assume they're trying to sway fans of Novas, Escorts and 306's to move over to the dark side.
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>> >> Why do people put espically on ebay ads?
>> >>
>> >> "Golf GTI NOT Nova GTE, Escort XR3i, Peugeot 306"
>> >>
>> I assume they're trying to sway fans of Novas, Escorts and 306's to move over
>> to the dark side.
>>
yep, keyword spamming, common in just about all ebay categories. drives me nuts.
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It's the ambiguities - whether deliberate or not - that put me off.
'One careful owner' - there have been nine, but one was careful.
'Titled owner' - Mr.
'Showroom condition' - VW glass palace or Sarf London streetside?
'Maintained regardless of cost' - it's been a money pit.
'Garaged' - sat in a garage for 5 years with assorted gubbins on top of it.
'Cherished' - it has to go or the wife will divorce me. Would consider selling wife instead.
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Starting with Hello!!!!, then every colour for text, spelling, mistooks etc. etc but just a few too many others to list.
IMO a classic advert but plenty of photos including TWO months tyre wear.
cgi.ebay.co.uk/Ford-Mondeo-MK3-Light-tuning-long-mot-/160593868780?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item256423f7ec
You can even see it on youtube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3PTNLAXb4s
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The description all in upper case.
I have found that some of the big main dealers have very poor averts that omit absolutely key features
e.g VW Phaeton. Not stating it is a four seat version but wasting space on listing basic features of any luxury car.
cgi.ebay.co.uk/2010-Ford-Mondeo-Petrol-/250825912810?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item3a6663b1ea
2010 Ford Mondeo Petrol Titanium 8051 miles Non Standard Colour
But it gives no details of colour whatsoever. A tiny photo and when you "enlarget" it shows the same size photo.
It is only £20K so thats all right then.
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>>A tiny photo and when you "enlarget"
>> it shows the same size photo.
>> It is only £20K so thats all right then.
>>
Unless Wimbledon has been transported to the French Riveria or Miami it looks like a publicity photo anyway, I suppose photos of a different car are another turn off comer to think of it.
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>> But it gives no details of colour whatsoever.
Perhaps it's this colour: tinyurl.com/3uklctr
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As you are selling a very expensive item - a car - and trying to maximize your return, I expect some attention to detail and photos.
Any slapdash effort/obvious faults - and I switch off. as I assume the car will have been looked after in the same manner.
But if I am looking to buy cheaply , I welcome people who screw up their adverts (but not cars)
Last edited by: madf on Mon 30 May 11 at 15:07
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Traders who exaggerate.
Yes, the aircon works (on the phone). When trying to make it work "you'll have to leave it a bit; feel it, it's cold" (no it's not) "well maybe it needs topping up that'll only cost you £30.
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Frankensteins on ebay
tinyurl.com/3ovbj4z
Note the cute higgledy-piggledy numbers on the odometer, along with the chewed up screw below.
This motor came with a 4.9 litre turbocharged engine.
Now fitted with a 5.7 litre non turbo.
Must have been a rough 64 thousand miles eh? :0
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>> Frankensteins on ebay
>> tinyurl.com/3ovbj4z
>> Note the cute higgledy-piggledy numbers on the odometer, along with the chewed up screw below.
Did you not notice this chestnut?
''It also needs attention on the speedo as its not working ......''
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>> Note the cute higgledy-piggledy numbers on the odometer, along with the chewed up screw below.
I don't think they're necessarily out of line and that screw just looks rusty. It's a 5 digit read out so it could have been once or more 'round the clock'.
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Distance 400 miles from me to the nearest airport and then 40 miles more!!!
BUT it is the only one on Autotrader.
Do I trek there or Not??
The important details tick all the boxes.
The ad says its Metalic xxxx. I assume that is its colour but it also says solid paint ?
After side airbags it says drivers airbag so thats all good stuff.
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Domestic activity ensured that I gave it a miss.
Having looked at many many adverts now I am now convinced that the authors have little idea of what to put in an advert so the grab a load of info from a database somewhere.
I am trying to get a list of options for the model I am interested in and I realise mostly these are not referred to.
I smiled when I saw "headlamp washers" but no mention of HIDs or in another advert there was no mention at all.
If the "How many left" database is accurate then I will have to search for quite a few months.
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Those putting a monthly finance price not the actual full price of the car.
Those that only put a mobile number but pretend to be a decent garage trader with a flashy website but curiously they have a residential address on google streetview and all car photos seem to be taken in a street.
Any that say 'view by appointment only' which means they are likely one of the above and probably have it stored in some dodgy lock up somewhere.
Those that pretend to be private sellers and are known traders and even use the same images on their private seller autotrader listing as they do their ebay listing as the trader!
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Much as I don't like to pre-judge, it is my experience that slapdash, poorly quality ads represent the owner's attitude to the car.
It's happened to me many times, but the best was when accompanying my brother-in-law to look at a five year old mk3 Cavalier SRI advertised in the London 'Loot' free ads. The ad was shocking, and full of spelling mistakes, but it was in the metalick (sp) red he was after, had just 46,000 miles on the clock, was described as 'imacurlet' and a 'full history'.
After winding up in a very dodgy part of Camberwell, we at last found the car. Not only in flat red, instead of the advertised metallic, but in enough shades of said red to suggest it had had at least one front and rear impact in its life. The mileage did indeed read 46,000, but the screwdriver marks were clearly visible on the leading zero. A polished steering wheel, worn driver's seat bolster and threadbare mats suggested that all the seller had done was wind the leading 1 back to zero.
And so to the service history. The seller presented us with a battered service book, with the words "service done" scrawled on the first four stamp areas. The owner had "lost"the invoices (surprise surprise). Oh, and the ignition lock was different to the other locks on the car.
In fairness to it, the car drove very well, and was plenty quick enough for the owner to scare the bejeezus out of us during the first part of the test drive.
We ran away very quickly, but I bet some schmuck was taken in.
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>>Those that pretend to be private sellers and
>>
supply photos like this Doh!!!
tinyurl.com/6asbzrq
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Perhaps he's a Jay Leno type :)
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Might want to mod that one, as postcode is in it...
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>> Might want to mod that one, as postcode is in it...
Yes, it looks like Henry could say hello to my daughter's in-laws the other side of the by-pass. ;>)
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Not sure that Henry has made any secret about his location?
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>> >>Those that pretend to be private sellers and
>> >>
>> supply photos like this Doh!!!
>> tinyurl.com/6asbzrq
The dealers paper floor protectors is a bit of a giveaway.
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You say that, but he says "the photographs are from a year ago" - so clearly he is using the photos from the dealer he bought it from. I've got vendors pictures on my computer from when I've bought cars too. Potentially useful in the event of a sale.
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'Here we have...'
I just won't have anything to do with anyone who can't even begin without a cliche.
And that's just for starters.
Yes - at the moment I am very fed up with incompetent efforts at description.
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>> You say that, but he says "the photographs are from a year ago" -
I would like to know what the car looks like now. A lot can happen in a year.
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Too true, probably doesn't own copyright on them either.
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Things in ads to put you off buying a car - BiggerBadderDave
