Motoring Discussion > Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter
Thread Author: Ex Alfa man	Replies: 24

Tue 30 Sep 25 06:29   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Ex Alfa man

Good morning, my first post and the admission I am a refugee from the HJ forum. The problem: our daughter has just sent us photos of her new (to her) 67 plate Fiesta. We were not involved in the selection, in fact didn't even know she was looking for a new car. So what do we do? Do we mention the issues with the engine (it is the one litre)? Or do we say nothing and maintain family harmony? Historically she would ask our advice/opinion but having recently married we are aware we are no longer the first contact point. Frankly, there are times when we tread carefully to avoid a "situation". So the question is really do I say something or do I keep my thoughts to myself? Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 06:43   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - MD

Do as I do. Straight in there firing on all cylinders. Tell it like it is. You’ll get no thanks and have no friends, but it’s cheaper in the long run :) Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 07:55   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Bromptonaut

How often, in the sense of how likely is hers to go pop, do the one litre engine manifest themselves? Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 08:33   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - ChrisM

Show an interest in her new purchase, how many owners, mileage, service history etc. All the things she hopefully checked out before she parted with her money. Then drop into the conversation that it's got the expensive (c£1,200) cambelt change coming up in 2 years. Why does it need a cambelt change, Dad? Well love, these engines have a bit of a reputation. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 08:47   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - smokie

What'd be the point of mentioning it if the deal is done, especially if you know it's likely to have an undesirable outcome? At some point (and I've not yet fully reached that with my 40yo daughter) you have to let go and hope the potential mistakes don't happen, or if they do, that they will learn from them. Only you know how she might react but I know how mine would react in those circs. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 08:56   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - CGNorwich

A good principle in life is not to proffer advise unless it is sought. Put yourself in the reverse situation. Howwould you react? It is also a fact that thousands of people have an owned similar vehicles without any problems whatsoever. She will be excited about her new car. Be pleased for her. Last edited by: CGNorwich on Tue 30 Sep 25 at 08:59 Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 10:55   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Ex Alfa man

Thanks for the comments. I appreciate the tongue in cheek humour and thanks for lightening what was a difficult moment for us as parents. I had written a more fulsome explanation of the situation but deleted it as the least said the better. And that is the message I take away, volunteer nothing and be very diplomatic if asked. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 12:42   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - James Loveless

"... that is the message I take away, volunteer nothing and be very diplomatic if asked." Which I'm sure is the best option. As an older person with three grown-up kids of my own and the same number of "mature" step-children I have learned from experience that uncalled-for advice is never appreciated. On the other hand, I do love it when one of them actually asks for advice. Not that it happens much. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 12:54   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Terry

If already bought, there is zero point in saying anything - it can only upset or annoy. Wish her luck on her new purchase. If she offers, be a passenger for a few miles. If it is smooth and comfortable tell her. Then pehaps express a little surprise that it is so good despite the negative repuration of the 1.0L. You must already know that as kids grow up they go through stages where parental infliuence and/or control disappear. It is evidence you have reared them properly - they are able to function independently. The following two stages - (1) they begin to appreciate dad actually has some experience worth listening to, and finally (2) you become dependant upon them!!!! Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 13:05   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - maltrap

Welcome to C4P,I also migrated from HJ some years ago . I’m sure everyone on C4P will offer helpful advice. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 14:00   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Slightlyfatdirector

Ditto re: ex-HJ member. Been here a few years and it's generally a nice place to be. Enjoy. In my opinion you are doing absolutely the right thing. She may not have any issues, and even if she did, she's all grown up now. If she wants advice then give it, if not you might want to just hold fire 'til needed. Dad's know everything, it's just that not everyone wants to hear it.... :) IAs it happens, back in 2014 I sold a disaster company 2008 BMW 520d Touring to a colleague to give to his wife after it became just too problematic to keep. I told him it had been in the dealer for fixing so many issues from day one new, and was a 'Friday afternoon' built car to be avoided at all costs. He ignored this sage advice, paid the company full value for it as if it was good and I waited for the first issue to be reported. They ran that for a further 5 years or so with not a moment's bother or issue. Ran like clockwork. Your daughter may have no issues with her car at all. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 14:31   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Boxsterboy

Just emphasize the need to keep strictly to the servicing schedule and ensure the correct oil is used. It is the failure of these two points that seems to be common in premature wet-belt failures. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 15:28   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Ex Alfa man

May i just say a big thank you. My instinctive reaction was to speak my mind, especially since all the children know that you don't buy any car because of it being "a gorgeous colour". Sadly we suspect this is the spouse's influence (very much reactive and from a wealthier background). But speaking on here allowed me to pause and await the replies. And those replies were exactly right. The wisdom of experience and similar values. So first time posting and most valuable insights. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 16:49   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Zero

Fear not, yes the cam belt issue exists, servicing on time with the correct oil keeps it at bay, at the end of the day there are a gazziluon engines out there all doing good service. The wife bought one with my knowledge, it was two years old with low mileage, and it is serviced well and on time, I am confident in it's abilities Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 17:37   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Bromptonaut

Slightly similar with my Daughter. She and her husband bought a brand new Skoda Octavia in 2017 on a PCP deal. When PCP ended his parents suggested handing it back and taking out another PCP, as was their practice. However they had a lot more income and cost of PCP, say £250/month, was of little consequence whereas although D and hubster are far from the breadline their finances had much less slack. My philosophy is to buy new/nearly new and run the bloomin thing into the ground or until cumulative faults get to costly. In other words pay the balloon amount on the PCP and hang on to it. I've taken four cars beyond 100k and at least 2 north of 150k. With proper servicing the engines were OK. The second Berlingo was sweet as a nut and had all accessories functioning at 11years close to 140k. The previous 'lingo had a steering problem at 10 years 155k and the Xantia multiple issues at 13 years and similar miles. They kept the Octavia and it's fine now albeit with stellar mileage. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 30 Sep 25 18:34   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Manatee

Almost regardless of the relationship nobody likes being told they have made a mistake (if indeed they have, which isn't necessarily the case) even more so if it is too late to change what happened. However it might not hurt to say "good choice, they last a long time as long as they're looked after". I was at loggerheads with one of mine for a while. I'm pretty sure it was my "advice" that got in the way of a good relationship. All is well now. I just remind them I am there to help and they should let me know if they need any. I like it when that happens. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 09:25   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Duncan

I am of an age where it seems that I am asking advice from relations younger than me, rather than the other way round. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 09:48   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Lygonos

Jings is it really 15 years since we split from HJ? Matron! Matron! Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 16:02   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - legacylad

>> Historically she would ask our advice/opinion but having recently married we are aware we are >> no longer the first contact point. >> >> Frankly, there are times when we tread carefully to avoid a "situation". >> >> So the question is really do I say something or do I keep my thoughts >> to myself? >> Personally I’d keep schtum. What’s her new husband going to think about pops giving his tuppence worth ? Not your problem and if ( hopefully not) it goes pear shaped then they’ll have to sort it and in future do more research between the two of them. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 17:39   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Bromptonaut

>> Not your problem and if ( hopefully not) it goes pear shaped then they’ll have >> to sort it and in future do more research between the two of them. I've spent something close to ten years nattering my son over his repeated failure to keep his car topped up with oil and having the low oil light on when cornering etc. When his engine goes bang the insurance company of Mum and Dad won't be paying up. Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 19:03   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - sooty123

>> I've spent something close to ten years nattering my son over his repeated failure to >> keep his car topped up with oil and having the low oil light on when >> cornering etc. >> >> When his engine goes bang the insurance company of Mum and Dad won't be paying >> up. >> >> I'm guessing the more you tell him, the more stubborn he becomes? Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 20:00   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - smokie

Much as we try to put up the shutters on that well known bank, it is always hard to say no when a financial crisis crops up. My eldest is still unemployed after 8 months or so, with no end in sight. £70 from the State doesn't go far! Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 22:20   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - bathtub tom

>> I've spent something close to ten years nattering my son over his repeated failure to >> keep his car topped up with oil and having the low oil light on when >> cornering etc. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Asked if they should have the car serviced before going abroad, I said no, check the levels and have it done when you get back. I dipped the oil-nothing on the dipstick. Told him to buy a can and put it in the motor, he put it in the boot! Brakes making a grinding noise - got it done at next MOT! Reply to this message | Report message

Wed 1 Oct 25 20:08   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - SLO76

Experienced this many times over the years, and my usual instinct is to offload all my motoring negativity on them. This does not earn you friends however, so today I simply step out of it. If they do ask my opinion, and it’s something like an Ecoboom Ford, I simply tell them that I don’t offer opinions after they’ve bought. It’s a more peaceful life as a result. Reply to this message | Report message

Tue 7 Oct 25 20:22   Ford Fiesta - Advice on how to deal with my daughter - Fullchat

Back end of last year daughter stated that she was looking for another car. She sold her Picanto whist at Uni a few years ago and has been reliant on public transport and boyfriend since. She made a random inquiry about what I thought of Minis and I repeated what my local mechanic/MOT Tester had said about them potentially becoming money pits. Nothing else was said. We went to visit her a few weeks later when she announces, "I have something to tell you". Well you know what went through my mind. She'd gone and bought an Abarth 500. I know this decision would have been driven by her boyfriend who likes his cars but knows little about their upkeep. She was adamant they had done all the research before committing to purchase. I was a bit upset primarily by the fact that I would have liked to have been given the opportunity to discuss the implications of such a vehicle and give it the once over to ensure she wasn't being sold a lemon and it was head over heart because she was clearly excited by the car. My concern was simply that potentially buying a sporty tuned car of that type could become expensive. Shes still reliant to some extent on the bank of Mum and Dad whist completing her Masters degree and I didn't want her just pouring what savings she has in car maintenance. I went with them to Newcastle to collect the car and gave it a look over. I found some paint issues and the radio not working which the dealer agreed to rectify at my daughters convenience. agreed to rectify. Its a little pocket rocket to be fair and looks nice in red. I've had a blast in it. However she has had find extra money for Lamda sensors (everything exceeded the warranty allowance) an a service/MOT threw up some brake and wheel bearing issues. I did say I'd do the brakes if she'd come home for a couple of days but she said she didn't want me crawling round under the car. i was really lll at New Year when i removed its bumper to repair some plastic after shed driven over a high kerb. It was extremely cold and I got a really bad chest infection. So she showed me some consideration. I think the point is that we have to start letting them make their own decisions as much as we can see potential issues down the line. We can let them climb the tree and be there if they fall out to pick them up. Last edited by: Fullchat on Tue 7 Oct 25 at 20:24 Reply to this message | Report message