I have been dicking around with the coding and features on the Beemer for a while now. It has* the RR voice and warning chimes (very classy) the M dials, Start/Stop defaults to off on power up, the tyre pressures also give temperature, the boot can be closed from the switch on the door, - various little enhancements like that
Anyway, got the car booked in at my BMW indy for a service today, so earlier this week I thought I would have a look at the stored error codes, and clear them. While doing that I had a check at what new coding features were available, and one i have wanted for a while became available. - The ability to change the amount the l/door mirror dipped on reverse.
So I back up the body module code, change the mirror parameter, load the new config, and it fails. Big time.
So I reload the old config - and it fails in the same big time. I disconnect the battery overnight, try to recover the code and its still dead.
Here is the amusing part. the list of weird stuff.
It thinks its L/H drive, but its got r/h switches. So the left window switch operates the right window, but only down - no up. So once down they stay down
It wont go unless the seat belt is done up., no sport mode, no adaptive mode, auto box works but the steering wheel paddles don't, engine is stuck in economy, suspension in sport, auto hold says its on but its not, boot goes down but not up, steering weight varies in some strange hybrid mode between twitchy and sluggish depending on the minute of the day, car will only lock when the engine is running, claims MPG is 3 and various other amusing shiesse.
So off we go to the garage, and I fess up right away lest they think the electronics is fried, so in addition to the service they download and load the cars software at a cost of an hours labour and much amusement.
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 2 Sep 22 at 20:34
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Yes, some messing about with coding can come back to bite you on the behind. I took my Octavia in to a VAG specialist for a transmission fluid change, noticed they offered coding as well and asked what "upgrades" were available. They told me they could activate the auto high beam and the cornering lights, tie in the tail lights with the DRLs and add Apple CarPlay. I asked them to do all of the above, or as much as they could fit in while the car was with them.
It came back with the fluid change done but 2 hours later than agreed and with only the cornering lights enabled. Trouble is, they light up when the corresponding indicator is used at any speed - and regardless of whether the dipped beams are on or not. So now it's slightly worse than it was. That'll teach me.
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Z, if you wanted to visit, it is BMW day at Beaulieu on September 18, any BMW welcome to come. Details on their website.
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If I had a 1970s E9 3.0 CSI, or a 2002 tii /2002 turbo I would.
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...in the mid 70's my landlord's daughter (technically, I think she was my landlady, as the large property was held in trust for her) had a 2002ti. (definitely not a tii, as she invariably flooded it on starting and needed assistance to get it going, even after repeatedly being educated on how to start it in those circumstances).
I coveted it somewhat (and her, to be honest ;-) )
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And the ironic result of all this fidling? Everything I previously coded is still there AND the mirror now dips the amount I want.
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...there'll inevitably now be something new in the software that absolutely doesn't do what you want, or expect.....
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I bet there were some expletives and elevated heart rate for a few minutes when you first found out.....!
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I still don’t know (or care much really) what all the buttons do in my car. But it does everything I want it to do. There are some I just don’t bother to touch in case something weird happens.
Apparently it can self park and everything, but what a humiliating thing that would be eh? A bloke who can’t park his own car?
Preposterous really.
;-)
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>>
>> Apparently it can self park and everything, but what a humiliating thing that would be
>> eh? A bloke who can’t park his own car?
>>
...it's probably very good at getting tight to the kerb whilst just avoiding it, though.....
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>> >> eh? A bloke who can’t park his own car?
>> ...it's probably very good at getting tight to the kerb whilst just avoiding it, though.....
It has a swing round in the road feature, fatal if you dont use it
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>> I bet there were some expletives and elevated heart rate for a few minutes when
>> you first found out.....!
yes both.
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Was it Bimmercode?
Was tempted to buy and download that while back, primarily to automatically fold my mirrors on locking. But I just lack the natural knowledge of how these things work and especially, what to do if it goes pear shaped.
In many ways it’s worrying that a simple Bluetooth device can basically prevent the actual engine from doing what it should!
Incidentally, my car going in for a recall. Another to do with EGR software I believe. Just getting the dealer to do the MOT and service whilst it’s in. Quoted me £244 for the service and I will get a free courtesy car due to the recall. Just need to get my sunscreen washers working fully before the MOT. Apparently the tanks are known to sludge up.
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...I know I'm sometimes wrong "but trust me on the sunscreen".....I suspect you mean windscreen.
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No, he's right. I'm told that they do sludge up if you put sunscreen in.
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Blinking predictive text!
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>> No, he's right. I'm told that they do sludge up if you put sunscreen in.
>>
Factor 50 is worse
Seriously they only sludge up if you put unapproved stuff 8n or plain tap water
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Screen wash is screen wash right?
Apparently not if you have a BMW !
Never ever heard of approved screen wash!!
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>> Screen wash is screen wash right?
>> Apparently not if you have a BMW !
>>
>> Never ever heard of approved screen wash!!
>>
garagewire.co.uk/news/dealership-denies-bmw-owner-warranty-repair-used-non-brand-screen-wash/
This is getting silly. I have been reading up on electric bikes (I'm still lost) but apparently some batteries are hard coded to the bike so if they need replacing, they can only be replaced by the manufacturer's original parts and an authorised dealer to get the parts to "talk to each other".
The concept of owning what you buy is going out of the window.
Right to repair should be written in to law.
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>> This is getting silly. I have been reading up on electric bikes (I'm still lost)
>> but apparently some batteries are hard coded to the bike so if they need replacing,
>> they can only be replaced by the manufacturer's original parts and an authorised dealer to
>> get the parts to "talk to each other".
Its a thing with cars as well. Its to do with smart charging of batteries and reducing load on the engine so and a new one will need to be coded in.
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>> Never ever heard of approved screen wash!!
It is a thing - we fail a couple of cars a week on blocked windscreen washer jets. They're always the ones that require a manufacturer-recommended additive, and the owners are oblivious and use 50p Tesco muck.
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Any hints on How to clean it out before my MOT in 4 weeks??
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Yep I've religiously used the wash labelled suitable for fanjets in all of our VWs, I've current got a 5l container of the Quantum concentrated stuff which will last me a while even though I refill every couple of weeks.
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>> Any hints on How to clean it out before my MOT in 4 weeks??
Take the reservoir off the car, take the pump out, compressed air / jetwash all possible orifices, reassemble and refill with correct solution - Quantum is good and cheaper than you think.
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No doubt to take the reservoir off the car will involve stripping half of it down as I’m sure it’s within the front wing.
Not a DIY job for me!
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...it will need approved BMW spanners.... ;-)
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And the reservoir will need to be registered into the cars plumbing.
Last edited by: Zero on Tue 6 Sep 22 at 16:09
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...there are fairly comprehensive instructions in the PDFs in this forum post:
f48.bimmerpost.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1862283
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When mine stopped working, I just put the wheel on full lock, pulled back the inner wheel arch liner and cable tied it to the wheel so it was out of the way.
Wiggled and pulled the washer pump out of the bottom of the reservoir, then pulled out the rubber filter the pump pushed into. Cleaned the filter, flushed the reservoir out with water, then reassembled everything. Been fine ever since.
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Add a few Milton Tablets (Baby Bottle Steriliser) it's a mild form of bleach - kills the bugs
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No dont do that, it is corrosive to any metal parts within the system.
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Ah! We actually have some liquid Milton sterilising. Was thinking that might work but obviously not!
I have seen some YT videos which suggest it might be enough to detach the pipes under the actual bonnet and blow through them to dislodge the blockages before then siphoning out the duff stuff and putting the correct liquid in. I’ll maybe start with that cos I genuinely don’t want to be taking the inside of wings apart!
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I think I've had one car where I've had the sludge build up, since I switched to prestone/triple qx brand never had a problem.
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Yeah was going to ask, what is the correct stuff I should be using? An Amazon link preferably and I can get it delivered for me coming home.
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This it i assume??
BMW Genuine Car Window Windscreen Wash Clean Antifreeze 1L 1000mL 83125A1A166 amzn.eu/d/dC51o8C
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www.costco.co.uk/Tyres-Automotive/Car-Maintenance/Car-Cleaning/Prestone-Concentrate-Screenwash-5-Litre/p/288167
Been using this for nearly 5 years in the Beemer, a year in the volo, and in two fords for 6 years
Never a hint of scum slime gunge or scaling
Last edited by: Zero on Wed 7 Sep 22 at 09:37
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>> I think I've had one car where I've had the sludge build up, since I
>> switched to prestone/triple qx brand never had a problem.
I use prestone on its lower concentrations. Works well in winter, cleans well, never had a gunge problem in fan jets and its dirt cheap down Costco.
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Yes I get mine from there as well. I think it's the strongest concentration screen wash I've used, something 50-1 in summer. A 5L tub lasts me ages. Their de-icier is also very good.
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>> Ah! We actually have some liquid Milton sterilising. Was thinking that might work but obviously
>> not!
Many a caravan owner has sterilised their water system with Milton only to end up replacing bits that had corroded. Milton carries a chemical substance warning system due to this. No idea if there is any metal bits in the washer system, but I'd rather not find out the hard way.
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>>No idea if there is any metal bits in the washer system
Impeller motor shaft?
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>> >>No idea if there is any metal bits in the washer system
>>
>> Impeller motor shaft?
Yeah and a fixing pin maybe.
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Not all plastic? I would have thought they would, cheaper, cuts down on corrosion. More prone to failing in older cars mind.
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Well, managed to get it cleaned out without having to remove wheels and inner wings.
A bit “footery” to release the hose from the first nozzle but once I did, i then connected the tyre inflator to it and blasted air back through into the bottle.
Then a sequence of syphoning out the contents, refilling and repeating and eventually got good pressure nozzles again! And quite a bit of black crud came out when siphoning.
Job done!
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And went to BMW dealer and bought their own screen wash.
£21.16 for a blue 5 litre that gets diluted one part solution to two parts water. So 15 litres in total I guess.
But still looks exactly like the cheap stuff you get everywhere!
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BMW - Some weekend amusement for you - Dave_
