Bobby, can you have a look at my car and see if there is anything you can do with these scrapes to polish them out?
Blinking hell, how did those scrapes happen? They are right through to the metal! Look , there are another two patches the same over there.
Well, you see, car got absolutely bombed by the seagulls and nothing was shifting their mess so I used the scourer that I use to clean my barbecue grill…..
|
|
Your face must have been a picture :-)
|
My language was choice.
BTW, this was a black 20 plate Vauxhall Crossland. Not an old banger!
|
In a middle east city I asked one of my team " how did all those deep scratches occur across the windscreen of one of the company cars ?"
Response "It was parked by a building site when they were pumping concrete and some spilled onto the windscreen"
One of the team " politely" asked one of the culprits to clean it off.
He did clean it off - with the concrete encrusted shovel he already had in his hand!
|
So this person bought a Vauxhall Crossland, then attempted to clean it with a scourer. Wonder what the third dumb thing they'll do will be...
;-)
|
Late MIL used a copper coin to remove some bird poo from a window, that scratched the glass.
I've also seen the result of a plastic kitchen scourer used on a windscreen. I never considered that glass was so soft.
|
When you get a new Mercedes, ( well, the ones I've had anyway ) they come with a pouch containing various cleaning materials including a bird lime neutraliser/remover spray. Looks a bit like shaving foam when you use it.
Good stuff actually. I'd imagine there would be other non-Mercedes branded alternatives.
|
>> When you get a new Mercedes, ( well, the ones I've had anyway ) they
>> come with a pouch containing various cleaning materials including a bird lime neutraliser/remover spray. Looks
>> a bit like shaving foam when you use it.
How quant. BMW drivers can afford to employ people to clean the car.......
|
Well, at least it won't be costing you too much, you'd imagine anyway, with yours being a sort of drab sludgy green, it won't need a lot of regular attention? Won't show the dirt much I don't suppose?
;-)
|
|
...paint's probably of decent enough quality to not need a giveaway sham(for the)poo, though...
|
>> When you get a new Mercedes, ( well, the ones I've had anyway ) they
>> come with a pouch containing various cleaning materials including a bird lime neutraliser/remover spray. Looks
>> a bit like shaving foam when you use it.
>>
>> Good stuff actually. I'd imagine there would be other non-Mercedes branded alternatives.
>>
It’s autoglym staff rebranded I think; it comes with the starguard paint protection snake oil they try and sell with a new car, but end up throwing in for nothing ;)
|
>>So this person bought a Vauxhall Crossland, then attempted to clean it with a scourer. Wonder what the third dumb thing they'll do will be.
This is the woman who I have started a couple of threads for on here re company car choices and taking a car in lieu of company car! The Crossland was supposed to be a short term hire car until her company car arrives......
|
|
Oh dear, the car hire company aren't going to like that. Might be worth her getting one of those chips away type guys to have a look at it in the hope that they can do a paint repair?
|
|
...smear a bit of mud (or seagull poo) over it and keep your (her) fingers crossed...
|
|
I know very little about seagulls, but I'm willing to hazard that recruiting one to poo exactly where you want it to, on a particular day, might be at least challenging.
|
Try coming to Eastbourne...the seagulls are thieving ,shi**ing nuisances .
During first lockdown when most cars were not moving I recall one black Merc which was literally more white than black and the majority of cars had at least a couple of splashes.
Sitting outside in a beach bar yesterday flocks of them were circling and swooping in on tables where people were eating.
They really do need culling, I have no idea why they are protected ( and I am a paid up member of the RSPB)
|
I suppose the seagulls were there long before the Mercs though, and will be there long after the cars have been forgotten.
I once left a black car parked under a tree in Dusseldorf in high summer for 4 days. It more or less resembled the Bass Rock when I returned to it. Had to drive back to the uk with it in that state. I'm not sure what those German birds had been eating, but whatever it was stuck like araldite.
Car wash didn't touch it. Pressure washer got some off, but eventually I had to pour boiling water over small sections and try to carefully sponge it off gradually. Took ages.
|
Anyway, many years ago, by way of a jolly jape, when my brother in law had just bought a new caravan, and some others of us were on the same seaside campsite in France, certain parties who have since forever remained nameless, sprinkled bread crumbs all over the roof of his new tugging shed late one night...
Oh how he chuckled the next morning...
;-)
|
We spent a very wakeful night, many years ago, at a terrible static caravan park at Berwick on Tweed, Serried (they are always serried) ranks of caravans as far as the eye could see, the clifftop view being blocked (by caravans).
The following evening, before retiring, we chucked the best part of a box of cornflakes on the roofs of all the adjacent caravans. Big improvement.
|
|
Hmmm, cornflakes, good idea. Must be quite difficult to distribute stealthily though? Bit vocal cornflakes when being sprinkled you'd think. Breadcrumbs are more or less silent and less visible.
|
>>I used the scourer that I use to clean my barbecue grill…..
IME this sort of thing goes hand in hand with not having any sense of how much you can tighten a nut or screw, or how much weight something will bear before it breaks.
At Saturday's superspreader event (the village show) those in charge of the book stall piled books about half a metre high on a table top the size of a ping pong table, make from a sheet of 9mm ply with a frame under the edges made of roofing batten and a leg at each corner. They made sure the pile was highest in the middle. It broke.
|
>> half a metre high on a table top the size of a ping pong table.....
Sounds similar to all those car booters who use wall paper paste tables to display their tat that they have for sale. How they don't break is anyone's guess.
|
Yeah, remind me never to get a Tesla for my wife...
:-(
|
>> This is going to be expensive...
>>
>> www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEYcoqBLifQ
Was Zero driving that Tesla?
He is always driving into busses*!
* busses? buses?
How do you spell the plural of bus, Zero? You must have had to do it loads of times on all your accident report forms.
|
I hae no idea, as it was only one bus I hit, the plural was never mentioned in the accident forms, no matter how many of them there were.
You should know that. You best get your best dress uniform sorted, you'll be up before the commander of the pedant regiment on a charge in the morning.
Last edited by: Zero on Sun 22 Aug 21 at 08:19
|
>> This is going to be expensive...
Waiting for that to appear on Arthur tussik's You Tube channel. He always seems to repair the impossible, even if it means a cut and shut job.
www.youtube.com/c/tussik01/videos
|
They walk amongst us……. - Pezzer
