Drew up behind a car at a roundabout yesterday - and it immediately struck me that what I was seeing here was a Mimser Full House. It goes thusly:
Ford Fusion.
Hat on.
Christian fish sign.
A dog is for life not for Christmas.
Grandchild on Board.
Just as I was planning which part of the B3349 would afford me the best overtaking opportunity, given I was in the ponderous old diesel powered SAAB, dodgy bucked fox and all, the Fusion took off at an unexpectedly brisk rate of knots, exceeded the speed limit and so lost me.
Book and covers and all that.
Anyone got a better hand than the above for Mimser Poker?
Last edited by: Alanović on Thu 17 Dec 15 at 14:21
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Its a brave man who admits he was shown a clear pair of heels by a Ford Fusion Fish.
Last edited by: Zero on Thu 17 Dec 15 at 15:03
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Merely observing the speed limit, Z. Like a good Christian.
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>> Merely observing the speed limit, Z. Like a good Christian.
Blessings be upon you my child. God save the Queen.
Last edited by: Zero on Thu 17 Dec 15 at 16:16
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Not surprised he took off at a bit of a lick. I think I'm right in assuming that it's mainly obscure Far Eastern hatchbacks which can only be driven at a steady 40mph regardless of road conditions or whether the actual speed limit is higher or lower than that. Fords are higher tech vehicles and have variable throttle positions.
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I think Humph's right: the Ford badge, even on its most mimsable model, disqualifies you from the full house. Had it been a Meriva, one of those Suzuki-Vauxhall vanlets, anything by (cough) Chevrolet, or even the Micra I described here the other week, you'd be straight in there - and you'd have chugged past (that GM diesel doesn't do waft) without stressing your dodgy gearbox.
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" anything by (cough) Chevrolet."
My folks had an 80s Chevrolet - 2.8 sludgebox Commodore (locally rebadged Holden/Opel) which was incredibly rapid, but also incredibly thirsty.
It was still considered a 'proper' Chev.
Sadly, it got terminal rust, otherwise I would have kept it as a weekend car.
GM rebadging means that locally, until a few years back, we had the Chev SS and pick-up truck (Ute) with 5.0l V8s. Lovely.
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Not that sort, Ian! We don't get Chevrolets at all here. What we do get are what used to be Daewoos: old-tech Korean cars that make Kia and Hyundai look like style leaders. After giving it old models to rebadge, GM bought the brand as a ruse to make Vauxhall look aspirational.
When that didn't work, GM dropped the Daewoo name altogether and stuck the Chevrolet cross on the front bumper (not even the grille - it's quite improbably hideous) as a mark of shame for those who still insisted on buying one instead of a Vauxhall.
Then, when even that didn't work, they dropped the whole thing, at least in the UK, and offered new Astras in exchange for burning Zafiras instead. But they're out there, and the mimsers have them.
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>> Not that sort, Ian! We don't get Chevrolets at all here.
Except of course we can get the Traxx, an SUV
>> UK, and offered new Astras in exchange for burning Zafiras instead. But they're out there,
>> and the mimsers have them.
And the Corvette Stingray, and the Corvette Z06 - certainly not a mimers choice of wagon. All officially imported and supported by Chevrolet.
Yu know WDB, you are really turing into a desperately malicious car snob.
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I confess I'd forgotten about the Corvettes, possibly because I can't remember ever seeing one. As for the Traxx - sorry, no idea.
No doubt the thumbs are appearing already but as for malicious, I'm not. I'm not even that bothered about cars, but I appreciate them in terms of engineering and design. I also appreciate companies that do business in what I think of as the right spirit. GM and its products don't score highly on either, so I will make fun of them if I like. It's a discussion forum, innit, so let's discuss, not hurl insults.
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>> of them if I like. It's a discussion forum, innit, so let's discuss,
Absolutley agree
>>not hurl
>> insults.
You wont mind then if I point you here the next time you do?
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Yep, we have the Daewoo's as well, Will!
In fact, some of the worst cars I've driven are Hertz-fodder Chev/Daewoos.
Recently a colleague had a Sonic Sport (yes, Sport.) on test. It was plenty rapid for what it is, but the body flex and rattles and squeaks... I think it would last about 2 months before bits started falling off.
And had a Captiva SUV for a week as a test car for the newspaper.
Horrid thirsty beast, absolutely gutless above 120km/h. And that was at the coast with just me in it.
I shudder to imagine driving 5-or-six up long distance at a higher altitude - which is a standard requirement for anybody who lives inland.
Last edited by: Ian (Cape Town) on Fri 18 Dec 15 at 16:42
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>> (that GM diesel doesn't do waft)
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Hmm. It sounds quite refined at 65 I'll have you know.
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>> Hmm. It sounds quite refined at 65 I'll have you know.
....age or speed?
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>> >> Hmm. It sounds quite refined at 65 I'll have you know.
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>> ....age or speed?
>>
KPH I believe :-)
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My hat wearing grandfather has a '99 Fiesta 1.8 diesel (non turbo) which suits his mimsing style of driving down to the ground.
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I have a friend who owned a Mk2 Golf Gti for at least 12 years. He really was a mimser. Never over 65 mph. He accelerated like a slug. Would sit behind wagons in lane 1 on motorways. I had some truly awful long distance journeys with him which could not be avoided, so I tried to drink myself into oblivion. AC would be proud of me. Then he sold it ( far too cheaply) bought an asthmatic A3 and drove as though on an economy drive. How I wished he would let me thrash it to eternity.
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Mimser Full House spotted - Zero
