The phone rang at 1745 and I was off to the City on a job.
No.1 The job involved retrieving one of our Peugeot Expert vans from the middle of the street. The van lives in a pay & display bay at right angles to the road on a very slight slope. Last user seemed to forget it had a handbrake...possibly 'cos it was on the right by the door...and the van had rolled across the street into a lamp-post opposite. Luckily it was a short unimportant street with other options for traffic. Took me ages to get in to the place.....it was like the morning rush hour in reverse !
No.2 Leaving the van I drove under the Castlefield arches to come out on Deansgate to turn right for home. There was a queue of about 15 vehicles on the narrow, cobbled street. I got to about 8 cars from the traffic lights at the end when a car overtook me and pulled up at the lights followed by two more.............but it isn't a one way street, so they completely blocked the vehicles wanting to enter the street....blocking the main A56 at the same time.
The first two managed to force they way into our queue but the third, a big black Audi 4X4 couldn't make it as we had all closed up by then ! He was next to me at the time so both I and the VW T van driver behind indicated to him that he might be an onanist. At this point he gunned it, jumping the red light, forcing his way into the traffic on the main road. Arrogant twonk !
No.3 Turned right at the lights and got into a long queue in the inside lane of the A56, which becomes a dedicated lane for left turners at the roundabout 300 yards on.
There's a lane across the roundabout for straight on drivers. Something was holding us up although right lane traffic wasn't too bad. I got into the right lane and progressed a couple of hundred yards when I came across the hold up. It was a single deck bus who obviously didn't like waiting and was trying to get into my lane. I let him out. Big mistake, we got up to the lights where the slip goes off to the left and his left indicator went on to make a left at the ' straight on ' lights. The roundabout to the left was well blocked by traffic so he could only get a little way round and sat there blocking all the straight through traffic for half a dozen light changes.
I made my way home through the back streets of Old Trafford reflecting on another hour of fun in the city !
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My sympathies - but isn't '"Horace Ontaltwin" more Jowett Bradford than Jowett Javelin, Ted?
Maybe "Flatfour" doesn't sound so good....
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One of my pet hates is filter lanes where they are only marked by painted arrows on road.
in rush hour, stop start traffic you only realise once you have driven over the sign that you are in the wrong lane. Glasgow is full of them!
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Ah yes, Monsewer Avanti..........but in my case I'm thinking of the two Horace Ontaltwin motorbikes in my stable. My Velocette LE and my Honda FJS 600. Both very different flat twins. The second being 3 times quicker than the first !
Although you are quite right about the Jowetts. Prior to the Javelin, all Jowetts were flat twins apart from the pre-war Jason flat four and the La Roche models.......now largely forgotten outside the club.
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I hate 'em too Bobby. This lane I'm talking about has them and you can't even see them in nose to tail traffic. Fortunately I know the layout well and it doesn't matter whether I go left or straight on to get home.
I came across somewhere, Telford, I think where the roundabouts are marked in advance by paint. The first two of three...left lane marked to turn left......right lane to go right or straight. Third roundabout....right lane to go right, left to go left or straight on.
All marked with arrows so close to the roundabout that you don't see them until it's too late.....if you see them at all for other traffic !
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There are often anomalies in roundabouts with marked lanes. Cars have to scuffle from one lane to another while negotiating the roundabout.
It's pretty normal though isn't it? No real problem whether the roundabout is empty or crammed with traffic. Signal, nip or shove, acknowledge courtesy if any is displayed, have it away sharpish when possible up your chosen exit... urban drivers do it all the time. Tchah!
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And I should have added: only three idiots in a whole hour! Manchester must be a motorist's paradise (although I don't remember it like that at all).
:o}
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Three idiots in an hour. - Avant
