Got a call from an unrecognised number tonight - was one of my pals to tell me that she has "lost" her phone so not to try contacting her on it.
Somehow, in her C Max, with the drivers side window open, she has managed to drop her mobile phone into the window opening and it has fallen down inside the door!
Door still works, window still works and so does her phone cause she can hear it ringing.....
Sounds like a total door strip down to reach it!!
You done anything more stupid??
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Blimey! How big is the gap in the window channel?
I have dropped a mobile phone down the bog in the past.
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T'was what I was thinking Zero!
And its not exactly a slim line phone - think its one of the Nokia ones that look like Blackberrys with all the buttons on it.
And for the window to go so far down the channel to leave space- pretty sure my Altea the glass just stops under the seal.
Of course, in the morning I am going to check!!
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>> T'was what I was thinking Zero!
>>
>> And its not exactly a slim line phone - think its one of the Nokia
>> ones that look like Blackberrys with all the buttons on it.
>>
>> And for the window to go so far down the channel to leave space- pretty
>> sure my Altea the glass just stops under the seal.
>>
>> Of course, in the morning I am going to check!!
>>
I bet it is under the seat or in the door bin. :-)
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>>I have dropped a mobile phone down the bog in the past<<
Blimey, don't you ever give it a break? ;-)
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"I have dropped a mobile phone down the bog in the past."
Haven't dropped a mobile but I have dropped my wallet in the bog a couple of times. Always remember to close the lid. (Whilst chopping coke, rolling a twenty and fudging a drunk barmaid in the same cubicle).
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>> but I have dropped my wallet in the bog a couple of times. Always remember to close the lid. (Whilst chopping coke, rolling a twenty and fudging a drunk barmaid in the same cubicle).
Who are you kidding BBD? It was the barmaid who chucked the remains of yr wallet down the bog to distract you after filleting it, snorting your entire stash off the cistern top, stuffing the twenty and the card you had been using to chop (so slovenly I always think) down her front and kneeing you in the gonads before doing a runner... I know these 'drunk barmaids' comrade.
Ever been to Nigeria by any chance? Just wondered...
Last edited by: Armel Coussine on Fri 10 May 13 at 23:40
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More window related misery.....4 of us went to a christening in Keswick in my MG 1300.
Me mate got totally rat-assed.
On the way home he wound the window down to chunder out of it and barfed the lot into the gap.
I never did know where the diced carrots came from.....I'm sure they weren't in the buffet !
Ted
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When my daughters were six-formers our house was convenient for the out-of town-girls to stop overnight at a weekend.
The forsythia in the front garden became known as the diced carrot tree, as anyone puking in the house was never allowed to stay again.
The sights I saw!
Nurse, NURSE. bbd's foaming at the mouth.
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Had a friend who barfed while he was driving - straight ahead, down the inside of the windscreen! Immediately put on his wipers which of course did hee haw!
Meanwhile, the windscreen demisting vents..........
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I did something really silly today. I was feeling a little bit faint this morning but promised my mother I would take her to the local fabric shop as she has bought a new sewing machine. I drove up to the front of the shop and parked, but I had to drive up a big kerb to park there (Ted will know what I mean!). Anyway it was higher than I thought and scratched all the bottom of my bumper :(.
Luckily my car is quite high riding and it didn't damage any of the exhaust. Felt stupid though!
Last edited by: VxFan on Fri 10 May 13 at 01:48
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Can she not just turn the car upside down and shake it a bit?
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Once upon a thyme, long long ago, I removed the cylinder heads from engine of my V6 Capri to give it a decoke.
Cleaned it up all nicely, ground all the valves in, fitted new gaskets all around, popped the heads back on, went to refit the distributor and, and, the drive shaft fell out into the darkest depths of the sump (!*#%!)
Expensive job that was.
:-(
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>went to refit the distributor and, and,
In my tool chest I still have a homemade tool for slackening the distributor fastening bolt on Essex V6s.
A 10 inch long piece of quarter inch steel rod with two dogleg bends and a socket welded to the end that was made by heating and hammering a piece of steel conduit around a bolt head.
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I made a special as well. A foot of half inch square steel bar with a slot across one end. I welded 2 inches cut off a 3/16 Whitworth open ender into the slot. Voila...a long right angled spanner to help doing the valve clearances on the Jowett.
Adjustment, unusually, is by adjusting the length of the pushrods. 3 hexagons to cope with.
Ted
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Many moons ago Ii was polishing or dusting something in the engine compartment ( with the engine running) using piece of rag torn from an old shirt.
The fan grabbed the rag and the radiator was pinged by a buuton on the piece of rag.
New radiator !!!
IIRC it was a stone that did it, SWIMBO was informed.
I went to the tip with a load of rubbish on the roof rack.
The height restriction bar "relocated" the roof rack through the rear screen!!
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>I found that it was easier to cross the local Snap-on agents palm with silver ;)
We didn't get too many Snap-on agents in South West Africa during the early 80s. Not sure why ;-)
Quicker to make one than wait two weeks for one to come up from Cape Town.
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>> I found that it was easier to cross the local Snap-on agents palm with silver
>> ;)
A LOT of silver.
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Well she got her phone back today. Took it to her local mechanic who removed the trim and retrieved the phone. Cost? A packet of teabags and some cakes for the lads break.
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>>A LOT of silver.
Amen to that brother, I had 2 ISTR, a 10mm and a 13mm (could have been 14 though)
I think the 10mm was for the Dolomite/Stag/Sprint ... long tome ago ^_^
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I have heard a story about a guy who decided to change his car's spark plugs on the morning of the family motoring holiday. Old spark plug out and then the metal end cap of the new plug wasn't on tight and pinged off down open spark plug hole onto piston crown. Hours with a string and magnet failed to retrieve cap!
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Yars and yars ago, when 'tuning' a Mrk2 Cortina OHC in sowf lunden, for some reason I cannot exactly remember,
I was using a Biro to ascertain when number 1 piston was at TDC.
Top of the bimmin Biro fell orf!, try as I may, I just couldn't retrieve the critter, so I started the injun up
(knock, knock, knock!)
Took the jam jar out for an Italian tune up - that cleared it out alright.
:+)
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Is there an award for the stupidest thing?
When 16 years old I would do anything to get my moped to go faster, regularly de-coking the engine so I had the full 49cc of brute power.....
Took exhaust off and did the sloshing of petrol (should have had something else added like kerosene I think) to remove any carbon from inside the exhaust (no idea where I got that from - Haynes manual??) and then set fire to the petrol left behind. Was at this stage holding the exhaust pipe by the 'long' end (exit) with a flame at the 'short' end (which attached to the cylinder normally which at this stage was near the floor. Seemed to take forever to burn off, so thought I would blow down the long end of the pipe to speed things up.
The resultant fire-ball engulfed my head, melting my hair into virtually a solid toupee whilst my mate who was stood nearby fell off a garden wall, wetting himself with laughter. Thankfully nothing more than scorched face, pride and hair, but my god how stupid was I?
2 years later had graduated to car ownership and thought I knew everything. Went to the aid of two attractive Irish girls in a car park in Bath whose car sounded like it was over-heating (engine off but sounded like it was boiling / bubbling it's coolant). I suggested that we should take the radiator cap off to release the pressure. Idiot.
The radiator cap and the towel I had placed over it to stop me burning myself was blown a car length or two away and I got the full force of boiling coolant right on the chest arms and face. After the adrenalin had worn off, I drove myself to A&E and was for a few years afterwards scarred with the imprint of the denim shirt I had been wearing (thicker cloth where the pocket edges and button row was) leaving a very funny scar. What a cretin I was.
Hard to believe I have survived my own stupidity - so far to the age of 42!
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10/10 for sharing that. I have a picture of the radiator scenario. Very funny.
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>> Hours with a string and magnet failed to retrieve cap!
Hmm, aren't those usually made of aluminium for conductivity and thus non-magnetic..........?
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A thin rubber tube in the end of a vacuum cleaner snake sealed with a rag is a good way of retrieving something small.
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Done plenty, but the following stand out...
Removed the gear selector from a Visa twin pot, while it was in gear - took me about 2 hours sweating that the box was going to have to come out to figure out how to preload the spring plate to get it back in again.
Reached over the back of the starter motor on same car whilst wearing a metal strapped watch - cue burns on the inside of my forearm when it touched the +ve terminal on the starter
Reversed my car up the ramps with the door open - forgetting that SWMBO car was in the drive next to it - dam near ripped it off!
Sawed off one of the exhaust bolts on the Xantia thinking it would be easier - turned out to be impossible to replace with the turbo in place, and took me about 6 hours to work out how to get to it to cut the head off
Whilst changing the glow plugs in a BX TD, stuck a piece of kitchen roll in the air intake to prevent any crud falling in. Forgot and cranked the engine..... When I finally got it started it filled the street with a large cloud of grey smoke, and fluttering pieces of carbonised kitched paper!!
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Two spring to mind.
I was working on the ignition system of my old Skoda 130 Rapid and during the job, had had the dizzy out.
After reassembly it wouldn't start. I tweaked, twiddled and retried repeatedly to no avail. Then, just as I turned the key for another attempt, a ray of light dawned; "I'll bet I've got the ignition 180 degrees out!".
As I thought that, the engine cranked, there was an immense BANG as all the fuel/air mixture that had gathered in the torpedo exhaust in the engine bay detonated at once and the silencer split like an overripe grapefruit.
I sat for a while and pondered my pig's ear as the huge cloud of carbon soot that enveloped the vehicle gradually dispersed.
---
Second was changing the rear wheel bearing on an older car. Could I get the hub nut off? Could I heck. Socket, tommy bar, jack handle on tommy bar, piggin' great hammer applied to jack handle on tommy bar, heat etc. No dice, it wasn't moving.
Anyhow, eventually I rounded the nut, leaving me with no choice but to break out the nut splitter. Once it was off, I looked at the thread, looked again and swore loudly, long and hard.
Left-hand thread.
Last edited by: TeeCee on Tue 14 May 13 at 13:21
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Feels like a confessional now.....
My stepfather lent me his Renault Fuego (remember them?) automatic to get to work the day before it was being traded in for a new Renault 19 back in 1990. I went to top it up with petrol and parked too far away from the pump. With the door wide open I put the car into reverse and let it inch back under it's own tick-over and then gently pressed the brake. Well, that was the plan.
Touched the accelerator instead. Car shot back and the door snapped off two of the nozzles off the pumps and bent the door right back on itself some distance. I panicked, jumped out and wrenched the door back as best as I could (certainly would not latch), and drove like a bat out of hell out of the petrol station with my arm stuck out of the window gripping the door as closed as I could manage. Sorry Esso! That took some explaining both by me to step-dad and by him to the dealer the next day. Ouch.
Also parked at a pub on the Fosseway near Radstock, Somerset also in the Fuego some months earlier. Went into said pub, and a bloke sat near the window asked if it was my car. "Yes" says I.
"It's rolling" says he. Perplexed I look out of the window to see the car gently rolling down a slight gradient at right angles to and heading directly for the main road. Had left it in neutral with no hand-brake on. Muppet.
Rushed out of pub running alongside the car trying to get the door unlocked to yank the hand brake on and failed, then ran to the front of the car and with much skidding, sliding and swearing brought it to a stop before disaster struck. Everyone in the pub watching me through the window and no-one helped. I was clearly not a 'regular'.
Recounting these episodes makes me wonder how I could even tie up a shoe-lace back then, let alone pass a car and motorbike driving test.
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Early 90s we had a Sierra Saphire - nice car and far better than the hatch it replaced. It had a creak on the front suspension which was diagnosed as a dry joint on the lower arm(?). Got the part ana joint splitter.
The Haynes manual said jack up both sides of car.
Being clever I thought I would save some time and only jacked up one side, stripped down the suspension and then discovered the new bit would not fit . . . . . of course I had only jacked up one side of the car.
Was working in the garage and could not get to the other side of the car to jack it up.
Tried levering the strut in to get it to fit and realised the car, including the blocks it was sitting on was getting closer and closer to the garage wall at the other side . . . . lovely smooth garage floor that was - laid it myself.
Finally managed it after some lateral thought and lowering the side I had jacked up to bring the ARB back into line.
The car had passed two MOTs with that squeak.
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>> You done anything more stupid??
>>
I dropped a cordless phone into a mug of soup. Afterwards the soup was still OK, but the phone no longer worked.
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>> >> You done anything more stupid??
>> >>
>>
>> I dropped a cordless phone into a mug of soup. Afterwards the soup was still
>> OK, but the phone no longer worked.
>>
I did that with a TV remote and a mug of tea. Same result.
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In the late 70's my ex-wife and I were teaching a group of beginners to ski. We were on the bottom reaches of a nursery slope on very gentle terrain and I was facing the class skiing gently backwards in a slow reverse snowplough talking to the class while my then girlfriend was behind the class giving instruction. I had quite forgotten that the slope ended on the banks of a river... It was quite a cold river actually.
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If my "then girlfriend" had not warned me about something like that, then she would never have had the opportunity to become my "ex-wife". ;-)
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Where did he say the girlfriend became his wife?
Maybe the presence of the girlfriend was the cause of wife becoming ex :)
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Remembering this thread, I carefully inspected the window channel of my car yesterday while waiting to pick up my son.
The glass itself is about 1/4 inch thick. When the window is raised, the rubber beading opens but remains pressed against the glass, obviously to seal against rain.
But when the glass is lowered the flexible beading closes the gap. It is only 1/4" at the most, and nil when the glass is lowered.
There is no slot to drop anything down, certainly not a phone, not even diced carrots. :)
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I once put a mug of coffee made with all milk on top of the video recorder. The vents on top swallowed the lot when I knocked it over. In those days the machine was rented with the telly.
It did eventually work again.
One cold day I was on me knees getting something out of a cupboard. The kids were shouting something at me and I was getting annoyed with them.
They were trying to tell me I was too close to the gas fire and my coat was on fire !
Ted
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My Sister, who is 20 years older than me, accidentally flushed her false teeth down the karsi the day before she was coming to visit us in Cornwall, she still came though.
:}
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I was leaning over the side of a photocopier once trying to unjam it, and felt this weight starting to pull on me. My suit jacket corner had dipped into the office shredder which was now turned on and climbing up my jacket heading to my armpit with a loud growling. The fringe effect was not good.
Last edited by: Zero on Fri 17 May 13 at 22:24
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>>They were trying to tell me I was too close to the gas fire and my coat was on fire !
Reminds me of when I was plagued with ants around my back-boiler. It was a good ten feet from the nearest outside wall dammit!
I resorted to using an aerosol ant killer, forgetting about the pilot light.
Those aerosols use butane as a propellant. Lost my eyebrows!
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I needed to solder a 15mm copper pipe located in the loft, using a small butane torch.
All went well until I moved the torch away from the joint when suddenly flame licked very rapidly across the loft and mild panic then set in.
Some of the pipes were insulated with the old blanket type insulation wrapped round them.
This insulation was covered in little hairs and these had caught light.
Fortunately I was able to smother things but it was very scary at the time.
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>> Reminds me of when I was plagued with ants around my back-boiler.
Did you go to your GP?
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>> You done anything more stupid??
>>
Just before it was time to drive to the dealer to pick up my next car, I had a little tidy up in the house and put my car keys in the kitchen pedal bin. When it came time for me to actually set off, I couldn't find my car keys!
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Ever done anything this stupid? - Zero
