Watched a handsome, rugged guy earlier this afternoon who dropped his wife, daughter and mother-in-law at the church. I laughed because his daughter had locked her door as soon as her mother and grandmother had exited the car. Despite all the yelling, shouting and banging on the window, the huge, burley woman couldn't force her granddaughter out of the car and enter the cult. I could see that the good-looking chap found it all amusing and while giggling with his daughter he drove away from the gates. He found a quiet corner of the church yard and very carefully and correctly parked his big luxobarge. The pretty, young girl squeezed into the front seat and played games with her daddy, changing and choosing different tunes.
Within just ten minutes or so of him parking, scores of oncoming devout monkeys had suddenly abandoned their cars in the usual slapdash, slipshod manner. The car park wasn't marked with bays in any way but there was an obvious 'corridor' that you could drive down and park left and right - until the utter selfish moron in a shiny, white 4x4 Audi just dumps the car at an angle in the corridor. The corridor was blocked. The handsome guy couldn't drive forward out of his space because some cretin had dumped a car right in front of him. As his wife and mother-in-law returned, they realised they were stuck. If there was any chance at all, it was to reverse into the corridor and tackle the Audi. His car would fit a couple of centimetres through the gap, but it was impossible to get the angle because the Audi was right next to it and nowhere to reverse out.
As I watched him attempt to reverse, looking cool and laid-back, I could see his wife standing outside (who couldn't drive) pointing here and there, with no idea of where a car could or couldn't manouvre. And the MIL was in the back seat shouting and blabbering. Poor guy, I thought. He won't make this, I thought. He won't make this. No way. I could hear the beeping from the sensors. And then I saw his face - he just started smiling, all worries disappeared in his eyes - and shunted the car behind. Hard left - shunted the Audi, hard right - shunted the car behind. And again. And again. And each time he approached very slowly and gently, but enough gas to make the rear wheels to spin when they touched. And suddenly he had the angle to drive on. His wife's jaw was agape and his mother-in-law finally shut the hell up. He squeezed through and his wife walked towards the Audi. Three long separate, delicate scrapes along the back door. I couldn't see what had happened on the other car he shunted. But I realised - the contact with his car had always been with the corners of his car - the toughest bits. The other two cars needed a lick of paint.
I've no idea who that guy was, perhaps it was stupid, perhaps he was just sick of being surrounded by selfish donkey drivers. I'll never know. I saw his plates - Azerbaijan I think.
|
Now that's what I call style, Dave.
Nothing is more irritating than a selfish parker. A good dent or scrape is well deserved.
Last edited by: Robin Regal on Sun 24 Mar 13 at 22:03
|
I remember when I was driving multidrops many years ago, a colleague related the following:
He'd gone into a loading bay and was trying to reverse out, but, while he'd been in there some eejit had parked a car on the kerb right on the corner at the exit. He couldn't get the truck out.
A plod turned up and offered to see him out:
"Back, back, back....", he could see he was going to hit the car and stopped. The constable came round to the cab: "Why have you stopped?".
"I'm going to hit it!"
"You are under the direct control of an officer of the law. When I say you go back, you go back!."
"Yes officer."
"Right, back, back" [CRUNCH] "Left hand down, back" [GRIND SCRAPE] "Straighten up" [GRIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDDD]. "Right, off you go". At this point the officer gets his notebook out.
"What are you doing now?"
"I'm going to book him for obstruction.......".
|
Just along the road from my work is a Mosque and on a Friday, due to the sheer volumes of cars, every square inch of the car park is used up and that includes all access routes.
It is obvious that if you needed your car out for an emergency or whatever, you would have no chance!
Still, I am sure there are plenty of different type of places of worship that wished they had the same problem to contend with!
|
Living opposite a church, we suffer the parking of the fortnightly Sunday crowd, and the occasional funeral. The worst parkers imaginable; on pavements, opposite the drive, tight on kerb drops, parking on corners and 'overhanging' into adjacent roadway.....
The religous crowd seem to have a belief in their divine right to park any whichway. Paricularly the late arrivals. They also seem to lack spacial awareness, something to do with infinite wisdom perhaps?
It makes the aggressive 4x4 owners who drop off school children almost seem considerate. At least they only stop for a few minutes in similar positions.
Last edited by: pmh on Mon 25 Mar 13 at 09:03
|
>> Living opposite a church, we suffer the parking of the fortnightly Sunday crowd,
>>
Do they 'play away' on alternate weeks, then?
|
>>Do they 'play away' on alternate weeks, then?<<
in the uk vicar sharing is I believe quite common :)
"dog collar" can take on whole new meaning...........
|
>> Still, I am sure there are plenty of different type of places of worship that
>> wished they had the same problem to contend with!
Indeedy. I drive past the Catholic Church and the neighbouring Jehovah's Witness hall in Daventry most Sunday's - same story.
And many moons ago I lived opposite the Middlesex new Synagogue in Harrow. Same there on a Saturday. Even the Free Church on the Hebrides provides a car park these days.
|
Over the last three years ago (more or less) a new church was built about 2/3 miles away. I used to pass it daily on my way to the nursery school, not much around, just grass everywhere as far you can see. And this new church. It's truly enormous, a big ugly concrete monster situated in a huge area. Plenty of space for a large congregation of gargoyles to park.
I passed it one day on my side of the road. It was an afternoon on a week day, no cars in the massive car park. I approached a couple of hundred metres away and I saw a car turn into the church yard. He stopped right at the open gates and must have made a mistake or perhaps just wanted to drive the way he had come from. How would you guys turn around? Me, I would drive through the gates do a big lazy circle, no reversing needed and approach the road in a 'forwards manner', indicate, stop and move off it it's clear. Him, idiot, stops at the gate, thinks about what he has to do for a few seconds, and floors it in reverse back into the road, right in my path, forcing me into the oncoming lane.
I think I should programme the TomTom - avoid churches, gargoyles and monkey drivers.
|
When American cars were big and strong it was standard practice for US drivers to gently push other cars a foot or two this way and that against the handbrake, bumper to bumper, when they were hemmed in by people parking too close. With the increase in auto transmissions - when 'Park' is selected a transmission lock is applied preventing the driven wheels from turning at all - perhaps the practice has declined.
I could never see what was wrong with it despite the cosmetic flimsiness of many bumpers these days. But when I said so on HJ a while back someone - it could have been VxFan but perhaps it wasn't - said I would soon feel their size 10 boot if I tried it on their precious jalopy. Well that was me told then.
|
There's a good website for all those who hate bad parking.
www.youparklikea*vulgarwordforaladysprivateparts*.com
|
Many years ago, I had a battered old 100E Ford. I came out of some shops to find someone had parked tight up against my bumper. I asked inside a few shops, to no avail, so I started to gently push the other car away with mine.
As I got a gap, I then used it to take a run at the other car - lovely noise those old chrome bumpers used to make.
A woman rushed out of one of those shops I'd previously enquired in and started berating me. I asked if she was going to move it, or should I continue and gave it another 'tap' to emphasise my point. She moved it!
|
Those 100Es were solid. I often used to walk across the bonnet or stand on the roof of mine just because I could.
Now I have a tow hook to protect my Focus from rear attack.
I can confirm from experience that it is much tougher than the front of a Peugeot 206!
|
>>Those 100Es were solid. I often used to walk across the bonnet or stand on the roof of mine just because I could.
The 100E's predecessor was an A35. We used to park on a demolition site at work while waiting for new premises to be built there. The entrance was the opposite end to our workplace. To save time I'd park at the far end next to our works entrance, step on the bumper, bonnet and roof, then vault the fence. Some miserable git complained and I was given an ear-bending. I wasn't breaking any rules, but they said it didn't project the correct image for the company!
|
>> The 100E's predecessor was an A35.
I once rolled an A35 onto its roof, finishing up in front of the left hand lion guarding the steps to Nottingham's Council House. (AKA City Hall in other places!)
Couldn't do it now - it's all pedestrianised"
|
|
I actually uploaded a photo there - if you're a detective and familier with my rant at the time - you'll find it...!
|
>> I actually uploaded a photo there - if you're a detective and familier with my
>> rant at the time - you'll find it...!
Is it me, or can anyone else figure out what he's on about?
|
>> Is it me, or can anyone else figure out what he's on about?
It was something to do with an inconsiderately parked car near his work, possibly in Caernarfon. A dump and run job where owner (F) could be bothered with neither parking or walking.
|
|
It was in reply to DP - for some reason best known to itself it appeared in the wrong place.
|
|
Pushing vehicles out of the way if blocked in or wanting to enlarge a parking space is very common on the Continent...:-)
|
|
It's more or less the norm in Rome.
|
|
Our house is 100 meters away from a school. People tend to be considerate and not park blocking our driveway...
|
The guy with the TT parked in his house needs these. :-)
tinyurl.com/bqdze4y (Mail)
|
>> it could have been VxFan but perhaps it wasn't
Nah, wasn't me. It was probably that Dynamic Dave chap.
ps, I wear size 11's ;)
|
>> It was probably that Dynamic Dave chap.
Ah yes, 'Even bigger and even worse Dave' as I fondly thought of him.
The bigger the boot, the smaller the pressure per square centimetre though. Thar's the big flaw in these foot-size menaces.
:o}
|
Cars flying through the air... There's a photo of one on a roof after going over the top of the banking at Brooklands, but Idon't know how to find it or post the link.
A spectacular example is the delectable tuned black Dodge Charger driven by the two Mafia killers in 'Bullittt'... flies through the air at very high speed into a US National Grid transformer. About the only convincing crash-fireball ever to come out of Hollywood, that cradle of the gratuitous fireball ... Why these damn fireballs? Who's ever witnessed one?
|
Blocked in a car park. - Robin O'Reliant
