We already have a device to protect us from such shockers as 'b***om' and 'tr**sers', of course. This one is for those tedious motoring-forum clichés that just get in the way and add nothing to the discussion.
My nominations:
- £n a corner We don't buy oranges for 40p a skin, so this is a poor and verbose substitute for a simple word. Tell us, if you must, how much your winter tyres cost 'each'.
- On a run What your car's toy computer's overestimate of its fuel economy under near-optimal conditions is of no value to us. An overall figure, from actual pump data, for mixed used in 'mostly urban' or 'mostly motorway' conditions, fine - we can do something with that. The computer is for your private amusement; keep it that way.
Any suggestions for a suitable virtual forfeit?
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Here are a few suggestions...
A pound for anyone who posts a thread about 'how do you hold your steering wheel?' or other irrelevant nonsense. You'll usually get replies with all sorts of differing opinions, none of which can be proved right or wrong so who flippin' cares. Just drive your way and I'll drive mine but PALEASE spare me the monotonous detail.
£2 for anyone who posts a thread about Satnav blunders, lorry or coach crashes on some godforsaken A road which then leads into post after post of dull often ill informed speculation.
;-)
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>> 'how do you hold your steering wheel?' or other irrelevant nonsense.
For any average person, 90% threads posted in C4P forum are tripes posted by people who have nothing to do on topics which nobody cares.
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Also a swingeing fine for anyone asking 'what car shall I buy mysef/daughter etc next'. or what is the 'best route to.....' . Most annoying. And worst of all, those that claim they haven't washed their car for months on end and are proud of that.
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Perhaps a list of what we're allowed to talk about might be better?
Pat
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A fine for every time "winter tyre" appears.
How much fine? £5 a corner should do it.
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Looks like we are going in the way of the "other" forum. History repeats itself.
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>> Looks like we are going in the way of the "other" forum. History repeats itself.
I will never let the chance to play this go by
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLT6_TQmq8&ob=av2e
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>> Also a swingeing fine for anyone asking 'what car shall I buy mysef/daughter etc next'.
>> or what is the 'best route to.....' . Most annoying. And worst of all, those
>> that claim they haven't washed their car for months on end and are proud of
>> that.
>>
I O U £5
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There should be a virtual forfeit for mentioning, expressly or implied, "the other forum".
;-)
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>> There should be a virtual forfeit for mentioning, expressly or implied, "the other forum".
>> ;-)
What other forum?? ;-)
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Any posters who say "Mondeo" should be sentenced to hanging , drawing and quartering...
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As for old people with Japanese cars, well...there are doctors in Switzerland who...
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>> As for old people with Japanese cars, well...there are doctors in Switzerland who...
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prolong their lives and restore their virility - all on the NHS.
(Pity about the 20 year waiting lists:-)
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>> As for old people with Japanese cars, well...there are doctors in Switzerland who...
>>
oi mate, oo you lookin at?
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I be thinking e'e be referring to ole geezers with Mitsubushy shooting-brakes.
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>> Any posters who say "Mondeo" should be sentenced to hanging , drawing and quartering...
Did I mention my heated windscreen? ;)
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What model of Mondeo should I buy for my daughter, and which make of winter tyres should I put on each corner?
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Not sure if this the correct thread but if I were to get two new front tyres, should I put them on the back even though they'd be the wrong size? Would this be safer in the long run?
:-))
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...Would this be safer in the long run?...
Depends on how you hold the steering wheel.
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Are they spring tyres? I would wait till you can put May tyres on. They should last you till you need to change them for Autumn ("fall" for the septics) tyres.
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It's ok, I don't actually need any tyres, I was just thinking of ordering some online because they're cheaper that way.
I collect tyres you see...
:-)
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>> It's ok, I don't actually need any tyres, I was just thinking of ordering some
>> online because they're cheaper that way.
>>
>> I collect tyres you see...
>>
>>
>> :-)
So is it time for the summer collection?
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..."fall" for the septics...
Zeddo, me old china, I doubt a lot of the ice creams on here will understand that one.
Glossary:
Septics - septic tanks, Yanks.
China - china plate, mate.
Ice creams - ice cream freezers, geezers.
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summary execution for mentioning daylight running lights
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Floor mats.
Anti SUV rants - red card.
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£1.99 each time someone mentions or links to The DiM.
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>> Mud flaps?
>>
So which mud flaps are best for protecting my winter tyr.... aw shoot, that's £5 I owe!
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>> >> Mud flaps?
>> >>
>>
>> So which mud flaps are best for protecting my winter tyr.... aw shoot, that's £5
>> I owe!
>>
it depends on your type of vehicle, Mondeo? one of those awful SUV's?
Is it for you, or your daughter?
If you do fit them, you will find you don't need to wash the car for months on end!
And thats even when finding the shortest route according to your satnav - cross country - missing lorry or coach crashes.
Anyway, according to the daily mail, honest john says all cars should have them fitted..
Drop me an Email, I'm around at 10 to 2, or 1/4 to 3........
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£100 fine for this old chestnut - 'which super market fuel is best for my car and will it mess up my DMF or DPF?'
Last edited by: TheManWithNoName on Thu 19 Apr 12 at 20:34
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Anyone mentioning cars!! lets turn this site into a veg growers paradise!
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There's enough vegetables growing on here anyway.
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>> enough vegetables growing on here anyway.
The ones that aren't shrivelling that is...
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Any mention of Mondeo estates, Westfield or Perodua unpronounceable.
KIA Prides are exempt, of course.
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I got stopped doing 130mph in a built up area and breathalysed, the reading was four times the limit and a friend said I could get a ban but I need my car for my job. Do you think if I ask for a bigger fine I might get away with points and they spelt my middle name wrong on the charge sheet so does that mean they can't charge me?
You can reply if you want but you'll never hear from me again so there...........
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I think a few have missed the point I was trying to make. It's not that I think fuel economy, tyres or whatever aren't valid topics for discussion; quite the contrary, it's that certain lazy, meaningless expressions get in the way of a useful discussion. Those - not whole subject areas - are what I'd like to exclude.
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>> I think a few have missed the point I was trying to make. It's not
>> that I think fuel economy, tyres or whatever aren't valid topics for discussion; quite the
>> contrary, it's that certain lazy, meaningless expressions get in the way of a useful discussion.
>> Those - not whole subject areas - are what I'd like to exclude.
But what is lazy and meaningless about phrases such as " a corner" when describing tyres?. Motoring, like most things, develops a sub language. By comparison to the IT game, where a whole new dictionary is required, hackneyed motoring phrases are a pleasurable retreat.
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>> Motoring, like most things, develops a sub language.
Spot on Z. I've just tried to make my write-up of today's Audi A1 sound original but however I worded it, it read like any number of magazine roadtests I've read before.
Maybe motoring writing has reached the point that music did some years ago, where every possible combination of phrases/notes has been used up? :)
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£10 fine for anyone who reports mimsers driving with their fog lights on/off when its raining/foggy/dark/sunny whilst being tailgated by a BMW/Audi driver/white van man whilst negotiating that badly driven artic.
;-)
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I see your point Wildebeest (and sorry if your thread got hijacked, somewhat) but it seemed too good an opportunity to miss to poke fun at some of the inane repetitive postings that appear ad nauseum.
Still, we've probably raised a virtual fortune in the process, eh?
Now, what shall we spend it on...
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C4P swear box - TheManWithNoName
