To work towards this you start about 13 years ago and start buying plants. The years move on and you have spent a couple of thousand there - a quarter of that in bamboo.
Then you become a regular most Mornings when your wife is out at work, at the Garden Centre cafe.
It`s essential for the whole thirteen years to smile and say `good morning` to all the staff as you encounter them.
The joy is that towards the end of the period you get a grudging `grunt and grimace` from about 30% of the staff. 50% ignore you totally - a further 18% avoid eye contact and the remainder look the other way as customers walk past.
You then go into town and look at watches or mobile phones and staff come on to you with broad smiles and loving looks as though they are your girlfriend.
I mean, what`s the next step - hugging?
Freaky or what? Give me the Garden Centre model of customer engagement - please.
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